- Joined
- May 23, 2022
I didn't see anyone discussing this trainwreck, so I thought why the hell not? This is exactly the kind of game that deserves to be both discussed and made fun of. But in case you've been living under a rock...
Part One: A Troubled Beginning
So unless you've been in a coma since October of 2013 and just now woke up, then you're probably more than aware of a little indie game called Cuphead. To say that the game was a success both financially and critically would be an understatement of the decade. In fact, it was so influential that two Spanaids no one ever heard of saw the game and thought to themselves "Hey, we can do that too! What could go wrong?"
Well, how about fucking everything for starters?
The trouble first began immediately with the reveal of the teaser trailer for the project.
Did you notice a vague similarity to Cuphead? Well, your average person certainly did. This video alone has 15k dislikes to a meager 28K likes and outcries of "Cuphead Clone!" filled comment sections anywhere the game was discussed.
Even Facebook Normies took the time out of posting family and pet photos to clown on the devs!
Even so, the devs went ahead and opened a fundraiser on Kickstarter, which you can view here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/playenchanted/enchanted-portals-a-magical-coop-2d-platformer
So, how did it go? I mean, worse things have been funded there, right?
Oh. Oh my.
Add in some controversy about Native American eagles riding on a buffalo as a boss (No, really, that actually happened) and you would be forgiven if you forgot about the game entirely. Most people wrote the game off as a lost cause that would never see the light of day.
But if that was the end of the story, this thread wouldn't exist.
Part Two: An Unexpected (And Mostly Unwanted) Comeback
The devs went radio silent for about two years on all social media, only returning briefly in September of 2022 to address the Native American controversy, in which they replaced said Injuns with generic cowboys.
Even so, the few people who even gave enough of a crap to keep taps on the developers were surprised they were still trying to keep going despite overwhelmingly negative reception. They released a teaser trailer in June 2023 that didn't get much traffic but their troubles didn't really resurface until their release date trailer.
If you watched the first trailer I posted and then this one, did you notice anything... peculiar? Like the animation somehow looks choppier and less polished compared to their Kickstarter trailer? Several gamers certainly did, as well as several features that appear to have been cut completely.
Despite this, many people were still willing to give the game a fair shake when released. I mean, what could be the worst that could happen-
Yeeeeeaaaaahh... Everyone who was skeptical of the game was instantly validated. Almost no one gave this game any genuine praise.
Part Three: What Went Wrong?
Aside from trying and failing to emulate one of the biggest indie success stories in recent memory, what exactly soured people to Enchanted Portals? Well, having watched several videos by people who actually played it and watching a longplay of the game, I can narrow down the main problems to the following:
1. Lackluster Animation
It can not be stressed enough: Enchanted Portals might vaguely resemble an art style similar to Cuphead, but it is not the same animation style as Cuphead. Cuphead used painstakingly hand-drawn, frame-by-frame animation. Enchanted Portals cheated with rigs and puppets. Now, this doesn't have to be a bad thing; after all The Cuphead Show also used rigs to speed production. However, The Cuphead Show still used a lot of frame-by-frame elements to hide the use of rigs and puppets; only the most autistic of animation spergs would be able to tell the difference. Enchanted Portals, however, abused tweening like a 2003 Newgrounds animation made by your 12-year-old cousin you don't see except on holidays. You just can't draw rubber hose-style characters and not animate them like rubber hose characters. It just doesn't work.
Also a complete lack of transitions from one phase to another, a lack of death animation, and even a lack of transition from one section of the game to another. Sections will just randomly begin and end like a harsh jump cut.
2. Terrible Controls
From people who played it, the controls are said to be stiff, unresponsive, and floaty. It doesn't help that the keyboard controls (playing a platformer on a keyboard, lmao) are all squished together like you're expected to play the game entirely with your left hand instead of utilizing the entire keyboard with both hands. Even people playing on a proper controller complain of having to remap the controls to somewhat be able to play the game. But that segways nicely to the next point of contention...
3. Lack of Saving.
There is no saving whatsoever in this game. At all. Every time you boot up the game, you have to start the game from the very beginning. You got to the second to last boss of the game and had to turn the game off to go to bed? Fuck you, go back to the haunted forest level at the very start of the game. You painstakingly remapped the controls to your liking? Fuck you, the game forgot your selections, remap your controller again, moron. Even the damn checkpoints provided in the run and gun levels don't even work! Speaking of...
4. Too Many Run and Guns... That Suck Ass.
Pop Quiz: What's the worst part of Cuphead? If you answered "The Run and Gun" levels, you are correct. Even the biggest fans of Cuphead will admit they don't care for those sections and it's no wonder not a single one was implemented in the DLC. You would think someone trying to make a clone of Cuphead would take out the worst part of Cuphead. Well, not only did they not do that, they doubled down. In fact, not only did they double down, but the run and gun sections were procedurally generated. Say what you will about the run and gun sections in Cuphead, at least they were handcrafted with care. In Enchanted Portals, not only are enemy placements completely randomized, with enemies sometimes both appearing and disappearing into thin air at random, but so are the traps.
Also, way too long. Like, several minutes too long. And don't think you can just rush through; that's just inviting twenty of the same enemy type to gangbang your stupid ass.
5. Sound Effects... or Rather, the Lack of.
The big one. You might be thinking "So what? They just used a bunch of stock sound effects?" And yes, that is true, but this is a rare situation where they didn't use enough. Watch a compilation of the boss battles and you'll notice that they are shockingly quiet. As if the world was partially put on mute. Enemies attack and fire with not so much as a peep. It's strange and unnerving in a way that you can't understand until you see it for yourself. Sound design is something that's easy to take for granted until you watch something that's missing so much of it.
Part Four: So What Now?
It's barely been two weeks and the negative reviews, negative videos, and negative comments are still pouring in. Enchanted Portals cost a whopping $19.99, the same price as Cuphead, minus the DLC and soundtrack. There are rumors that the devs have been blocking anyone giving even the most fair criticism of the game but I can't verify that.
So I want to open the floor to my fellow Kiwis. Have you watched any footage, seen someone play it, or heaven forbid, played it yourself? And if so, did you or your friend at least get to refund the game?
Dev's Facebook Account: https://www.facebook.com/PlayEnchanted/
Dev's YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/@xixogamesstudio1440
Dev's Twiiter: https://twitter.com/PlayEnchanted?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author
Here's a video that discusses that whole "Native American" controversy I mentioned earlier:
I'm spoiling this next part for length, but here are some pretty good videos explaining the many, many problems of the game if you want to see more of what everyone has been talking about.
But hey, it's not all bad!
...the soundtrack is okay. About the only thing people don't hate about it.
You know, if you ignore that it's mostly just the same song remixed again and again with different instruments and genres.
(Damn, everything about this game is cursed...)
Part One: A Troubled Beginning
So unless you've been in a coma since October of 2013 and just now woke up, then you're probably more than aware of a little indie game called Cuphead. To say that the game was a success both financially and critically would be an understatement of the decade. In fact, it was so influential that two Spanaids no one ever heard of saw the game and thought to themselves "Hey, we can do that too! What could go wrong?"
Well, how about fucking everything for starters?
The trouble first began immediately with the reveal of the teaser trailer for the project.
Did you notice a vague similarity to Cuphead? Well, your average person certainly did. This video alone has 15k dislikes to a meager 28K likes and outcries of "Cuphead Clone!" filled comment sections anywhere the game was discussed.
Even Facebook Normies took the time out of posting family and pet photos to clown on the devs!
Even so, the devs went ahead and opened a fundraiser on Kickstarter, which you can view here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/playenchanted/enchanted-portals-a-magical-coop-2d-platformer
So, how did it go? I mean, worse things have been funded there, right?
Oh. Oh my.
Add in some controversy about Native American eagles riding on a buffalo as a boss (No, really, that actually happened) and you would be forgiven if you forgot about the game entirely. Most people wrote the game off as a lost cause that would never see the light of day.
But if that was the end of the story, this thread wouldn't exist.
Part Two: An Unexpected (And Mostly Unwanted) Comeback
The devs went radio silent for about two years on all social media, only returning briefly in September of 2022 to address the Native American controversy, in which they replaced said Injuns with generic cowboys.
Even so, the few people who even gave enough of a crap to keep taps on the developers were surprised they were still trying to keep going despite overwhelmingly negative reception. They released a teaser trailer in June 2023 that didn't get much traffic but their troubles didn't really resurface until their release date trailer.
If you watched the first trailer I posted and then this one, did you notice anything... peculiar? Like the animation somehow looks choppier and less polished compared to their Kickstarter trailer? Several gamers certainly did, as well as several features that appear to have been cut completely.
Despite this, many people were still willing to give the game a fair shake when released. I mean, what could be the worst that could happen-
Yeeeeeaaaaahh... Everyone who was skeptical of the game was instantly validated. Almost no one gave this game any genuine praise.
Part Three: What Went Wrong?
Aside from trying and failing to emulate one of the biggest indie success stories in recent memory, what exactly soured people to Enchanted Portals? Well, having watched several videos by people who actually played it and watching a longplay of the game, I can narrow down the main problems to the following:
1. Lackluster Animation
It can not be stressed enough: Enchanted Portals might vaguely resemble an art style similar to Cuphead, but it is not the same animation style as Cuphead. Cuphead used painstakingly hand-drawn, frame-by-frame animation. Enchanted Portals cheated with rigs and puppets. Now, this doesn't have to be a bad thing; after all The Cuphead Show also used rigs to speed production. However, The Cuphead Show still used a lot of frame-by-frame elements to hide the use of rigs and puppets; only the most autistic of animation spergs would be able to tell the difference. Enchanted Portals, however, abused tweening like a 2003 Newgrounds animation made by your 12-year-old cousin you don't see except on holidays. You just can't draw rubber hose-style characters and not animate them like rubber hose characters. It just doesn't work.
Also a complete lack of transitions from one phase to another, a lack of death animation, and even a lack of transition from one section of the game to another. Sections will just randomly begin and end like a harsh jump cut.
2. Terrible Controls
From people who played it, the controls are said to be stiff, unresponsive, and floaty. It doesn't help that the keyboard controls (playing a platformer on a keyboard, lmao) are all squished together like you're expected to play the game entirely with your left hand instead of utilizing the entire keyboard with both hands. Even people playing on a proper controller complain of having to remap the controls to somewhat be able to play the game. But that segways nicely to the next point of contention...
3. Lack of Saving.
There is no saving whatsoever in this game. At all. Every time you boot up the game, you have to start the game from the very beginning. You got to the second to last boss of the game and had to turn the game off to go to bed? Fuck you, go back to the haunted forest level at the very start of the game. You painstakingly remapped the controls to your liking? Fuck you, the game forgot your selections, remap your controller again, moron. Even the damn checkpoints provided in the run and gun levels don't even work! Speaking of...
4. Too Many Run and Guns... That Suck Ass.
Pop Quiz: What's the worst part of Cuphead? If you answered "The Run and Gun" levels, you are correct. Even the biggest fans of Cuphead will admit they don't care for those sections and it's no wonder not a single one was implemented in the DLC. You would think someone trying to make a clone of Cuphead would take out the worst part of Cuphead. Well, not only did they not do that, they doubled down. In fact, not only did they double down, but the run and gun sections were procedurally generated. Say what you will about the run and gun sections in Cuphead, at least they were handcrafted with care. In Enchanted Portals, not only are enemy placements completely randomized, with enemies sometimes both appearing and disappearing into thin air at random, but so are the traps.
Also, way too long. Like, several minutes too long. And don't think you can just rush through; that's just inviting twenty of the same enemy type to gangbang your stupid ass.
5. Sound Effects... or Rather, the Lack of.
The big one. You might be thinking "So what? They just used a bunch of stock sound effects?" And yes, that is true, but this is a rare situation where they didn't use enough. Watch a compilation of the boss battles and you'll notice that they are shockingly quiet. As if the world was partially put on mute. Enemies attack and fire with not so much as a peep. It's strange and unnerving in a way that you can't understand until you see it for yourself. Sound design is something that's easy to take for granted until you watch something that's missing so much of it.
Part Four: So What Now?
It's barely been two weeks and the negative reviews, negative videos, and negative comments are still pouring in. Enchanted Portals cost a whopping $19.99, the same price as Cuphead, minus the DLC and soundtrack. There are rumors that the devs have been blocking anyone giving even the most fair criticism of the game but I can't verify that.
So I want to open the floor to my fellow Kiwis. Have you watched any footage, seen someone play it, or heaven forbid, played it yourself? And if so, did you or your friend at least get to refund the game?
Dev's Facebook Account: https://www.facebook.com/PlayEnchanted/
Dev's YouTube Account: https://www.youtube.com/@xixogamesstudio1440
Dev's Twiiter: https://twitter.com/PlayEnchanted?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author
Here's a video that discusses that whole "Native American" controversy I mentioned earlier:
I'm spoiling this next part for length, but here are some pretty good videos explaining the many, many problems of the game if you want to see more of what everyone has been talking about.
But hey, it's not all bad!
...the soundtrack is okay. About the only thing people don't hate about it.
You know, if you ignore that it's mostly just the same song remixed again and again with different instruments and genres.
(Damn, everything about this game is cursed...)
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