Ethan Ralph, Fugitive from Justice

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Heavy Rainfall2 said:
An absolute feltening. Honest advice Gunty, you're really getting fuck all by Balldo guarding. It's probably too late to flip but goddamn that was a bad decision.
Click to expand...
I wonder what Nick paid him? Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough and I’m sure he’s whining to Nick about it.

I guarantee Ralph has been hitting up Nick for more $$$ because of all the fallout of doing his dirty work. I just wonder how Nick is handling the Gunt at this point. With the criminal case still open he has to tread carefully.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Windy Moors, St. Alia of the Knife, AmateurComedicTaxidermist and 6 others
Ralph joins the DENIED club
1732744735901.png
tl:dr. Request to quash Ralph's warrant is denied
 

Attachments

  • Winner
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Canoodler, Smokeski, Cat Menagerie and 91 others
All Ralph had to do to spend every Christmas with Xander was not physically and emotionally abuse his mother and try to force her into a threesome relationship with a lolicon. He could right now be eating some pumpkin pie made by Faith, watching Xander pull the ornaments off the Christmas tree while Christmas music plays on the tv. But alas he instead lives in a hell of his own creation while Xander and Faith are doing all that with another man.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Feels
Reactions: Marsh Rabbit, Nurse Ratchet, Hidden Cat and 39 others
TO YOUR HONOR AND HONORABLE COURT,

My name is Ethan Ralph. You may recognize me as the host of the Killstream, of which you are quite possibly a big fan, even! I have a nationwide arrest warrant out in your jurisdiction for contempt of court, but Aaron also did that too so why isn't he in trouble. I live in Mexico because I had a lot of debts I did not want to take accountability for. I go visit my son whenever I want to score a victory over the Kiwi Farmers. The reason he doesn't live with me is because I released a sex tape of me thumbing his retarded mom's shitty ass, which is really a copyright issue.

I cannot visit him for Christmas, because I might be arrested for breaking the law, which is not fair. I also have cats which will die if I had to go to Minnesota to go to court, but they would be fine if I went to California to visit my son because they are special cats like that. I also have a shack full of piss bottles I need to maintain in Mexico.

I'd like you to make a special dispensation and completely alter the way the Minnesota justice system works, because I am the only person to ever have a son and cats and I'd really prefer to not go to jail.

I'm not trying to dodge court proceedings, I'm simply trying to evade them completely unless they can be done on my terms.

I hope you appreciate the uniqueness of my situation in that I am a person who would not like to be arrested.
 
  • Winner
  • Like
  • Semper Fidelis
Reactions: Smokeski, OlgaOfKiev, Hidden Cat and 87 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back