Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

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Who did the worse beating?

  • The 14-year-old transgender prostitute in Lisbon.

    Votes: 599 24.8%

  • A Minnesota cancer patient.

    Votes: 1,302 53.8%

  • Mundane "Boulder King" Matt Jarbo.

    Votes: 517 21.4%
  • Total voters
    2,418
Imagine how much different Ralph's life could be if he laughed off one unflattering picture... ignored one stupid, off-the-cuff joke...

Forced from his homeland by a fat retard that sells coins. Foregoing a life with his bastard son, his first born who won't even carry on the Ralphaname. Fleeing between crackshacks and flophouses over the abject fear of an alog leaving corn at the door. Unable to return to the home and soil deeded to him, the only inheritance left to him by his father.

Are we still winning, Ralphabros?

In 2018 he was married to a woman out of his league and making pretty good money as a mid-wit moderator for vastly more interesting people. Ralph will never have it that good again.

And Ralph is fat.
 
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Commandant Swordfish said:
In any case, as much as I hate to admit this, I do think Piggy will outlive Metokur - assuming his health situation really is as bad as has been stated. Some time ago I formulated a theory based around a friend of mine, the general crux of it being them doing something truly retarded that would get any normal person killed and they themselves surviving. It's because they're too stupid to realise they should be dead. This theory held true until he hanged himself recently, which I'm gonna write off as an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object
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I agree Gunt may very well outlive Jim, especially if the latter's illness is as serious as he makes it sound. But what kind of life may Ethan expect to live? Constantly on the run from problems past, present and future (Gunt can't own up to any mistakes so he is destined to repeat them), risking getting STDs from hookers, health complications arising from his lifestyle, constant stress due to being coupled with a pedo mare and having no real financial stability. One could go on and on.

Metokur will go out with a shitposting legacy fondly remembered by many, Gunt will leave behind a stench of innumerable trashfires. Both legends in their own right, but for different reasons and with completely different legacies.
 
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Commandant Swordfish said:
There goes a lot of the interesting Ralph content to most, Ralph is slowly going to lose even more viewers and I think he'd rather die than have to admit to the fact he's now a nobody again with responsibilities, bills to pay, and children to avoid parenting.
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The only real way for Ralph to "die" would be to just ignore him. If everyone (besides the farms) were to ignore him for entire year, he would do the most insane/stupid shit imaginable just for some recognition.
 
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Commandant Swordfish said:
Imagine paying to be taught what can naturally be learned from frequenting /g/.

In any case, as much as I hate to admit this, I do think Piggy will outlive Metokur - assuming his health situation really is as bad as has been stated. Some time ago I formulated a theory based around a friend of mine, the general crux of it being them doing something truly retarded that would get any normal person killed and they themselves surviving. It's because they're too stupid to realise they should be dead. This theory held true until he hanged himself recently, which I'm gonna write off as an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object

The term "Dumb luck" I think does apply to Ralph, he could have very nearly died at least twice in the last 18 months, which makes me think he will be around for a while, mainly because I think he's simply too retarded to die. Hell, I even have my doubts the cartels will bother with him. Some fat stay-at-home gringo? I don't think he'd risk messing with them.

Let's say Jimbo has another 2 years in him, as retarded as Ralph is, I think Jim's going first - which is pretty unfair, I'd rather have Jim than Piggy. The only way I think Ralph is dying before Metokur is if he commits self-neck-rope. Which, with Jim now gone? There goes a lot of the interesting Ralph content to most, Ralph is slowly going to lose even more viewers and I think he'd rather die than have to admit to the fact he's now a nobody again with responsibilities, bills to pay, and children to avoid parenting.
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I dunno bro. If his driving is any indication, the chance of him getting Boatmurdered by either Pantsu or highway bandits isn't out of the question.
Fully eshay skits bruh V3 said:
The only real way for Ralph to "die" would be to just ignore him. If everyone (besides the farms) were to ignore him for entire year, he would do the most insane/stupid shit imaginable just for some recognition.
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"Pigman murders family, goes on rampage. Website Kiwi Farms suspected. Details at 11." Has a nice ring to it if I do say so.
 
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Pelican Bones said:
Imagine how much different Ralph's life could be if he laughed off one unflattering picture... ignored one stupid, off-the-cuff joke...

Forced from his homeland by a fat retard that sells coins. Foregoing a life with his bastard son, his first born who won't even carry on the Ralphaname. Fleeing between crackshacks and flophouses over the abject fear of an alog leaving corn at the door. Unable to return to the home and soil deeded to him, the only inheritance left to him by his father.

Are we still winning, Ralphabros?

In 2018 he was married to a woman out of his league and making pretty good money as a mid-wit moderator for vastly more interesting people. Ralph will never have it that good again.

And Ralph is fat.
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I've said this before but if he was able to even slightly poke fun at himself and take a joke he'd be in so much of a better place. I'd be a fan of his if he just owned being a fat wigger with temper issues instead of trying to portray himself as a suave intelligent badass.
 
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Commandant Swordfish said:
Hell, I even have my doubts the cartels will bother with him. Some fat stay-at-home gringo? I don't think he'd risk messing with them.
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The whole "the cartels will kill Ralph" thing is just a meme and I doubt there's any chance of anything like that happening.
That said, Ralph is the kind of person who likes to show off his "success", talk (lie) about how much he makes, and cover himself with "status" symbols like those stupid purses he bough; all of that, in a country where crime is rampant and people are desperate, paints a target on his back. All it takes is Ralph blabbing to the wrong person, his coke dealer, the guy down the street or whoever. And it goes beyond that, he doesn't even need to say much, he loves telling people he's an internet "celebrity" and to watch the kill report (a show where he constantly talks about how successful he is, talks shit about Mexico/Mexicans, etc.). Or even just his fucking neon red truck calling attention to the little obese manlet/piglet that would be very easy to subdue.

Also, knowing people that were born/grew up in dangerous shitholes, they've all told me the same thing; they grow up with this sort of enhanced awareness for danger, a sort of paranoia for everything and everyone. Something that is second nature out of necessity. Ralph does not have that, if he can get the shit beat out of him and his eye socket caved in in a place like Lisbon, then he shouldn't be prancing around in Mexico taking selfies in restaurants and calling attention to himself. There is a big chance he will end up in a dangerous situation just because he didn't pay attention/didn't read the situation correctly.
So while I don't think the cartels will get Ralph, I do think he's in more danger than he realizes, and it's a matter of when, not if (assuming he stays in Mexico long enough but it sounds like he intends to stay there for the foreseeable future), he gets into a culturally enriching situation that teaches him that Mexico is a dangerous place and no one with enough economic means would move there to live in a concrete box by choice.
 
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What happened between Ralph and Gator again? From what I gathered via the Ralph vs. Metokur stream and screenshots, Gator already felt he was underpaid and after the Metokur fight, he was done. but what made Ralph want to go tell Gator’s school he’s a white nationalist? What did Gator do? He shared screenshots or something?
 
HeyU said:
What happened between Ralph and Gator again? From what I gathered via the Ralph vs. Metokur stream and screenshots, Gator already felt he was underpaid and after the Metokur fight, he was done. but what made Ralph want to go tell Gator’s school he’s a white nationalist? What did Gator do? He shared screenshots or something?
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Xanax delirium and paranoid behavior
 
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HeyU said:
What happened between Ralph and Gator again? From what I gathered via the Ralph vs. Metokur stream and screenshots, Gator already felt he was underpaid and after the Metokur fight, he was done. but what made Ralph want to go tell Gator’s school he’s a white nationalist? What did Gator do? He shared screenshots or something?
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Ralph got beat up in portugal. Metokur did a stream and laughed at the pictures of Ralph beat up that Ralph posted on twitter and asked "why do you have a purse". Ralph went apeshit and started trash talking metokur and his greasy dog eating slant eyed big tittied korean wife for not protecting him or offering him asspats instead of laughing at the embarrassing content that Ralph himself posted. Gator said if he's shit talking his other more important e-daddy than "Ralph has lost it". Ralph then shit talked Gator for shaking pill bottles with jim and flamenco, Gator then dropped the pay lore. Ralph doxed gator, gator leaked pantsu dm's, autism vortex, fast forward to present day.
 
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HeyU said:
What happened between Ralph and Gator again? From what I gathered via the Ralph vs. Metokur stream and screenshots, Gator already felt he was underpaid and after the Metokur fight, he was done. but what made Ralph want to go tell Gator’s school he’s a white nationalist? What did Gator do? He shared screenshots or something?
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Odd behaviour from Ralph, who is usually so graceful when his relationships end.
 
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HeyU said:
What happened between Ralph and Gator again? From what I gathered via the Ralph vs. Metokur stream and screenshots, Gator already felt he was underpaid and after the Metokur fight, he was done. but what made Ralph want to go tell Gator’s school he’s a white nationalist? What did Gator do? He shared screenshots or something?
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What if I told you it was because Gaytor shook a pill bottle?
 
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