🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[disavow]

Fun fact Commodus was killed by a wrestler after poison from his wife didnt work. But no Commodus was actually athletic (despite his competitions being rigged) although his childlike aspirations to the ring mirror our Gunt. Ronnie was no Aurelius though. Ralph is more a Vitellius with the temper of Caligula.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I didn't say that, I said the opposite. This fat little bitch just Googled something and is now pretending he reads books.

I'm sitting here just wondering if The Million Dollar Man's Virgil ever said something like that.

I wonder what history would have been like had Young Ralph had seen Caligula instead of Gladiator. Uber prude version of The Gunt?

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Ralph sure owns Harry here!

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1619358569048182785

Pure baller! $170 new on Amazon, $150 used! That'll own him hard!

https://www.amazon.com/Brand-Cross-Country-Jogger-Charcoal-Galaxy/dp/B01L7C47P8

Oh wait... Did he say ballin? I think he meant fallin.... There's a recall...

Delta Recalls Strollers Due to Fall Hazard

Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled strollers and can contact Delta for a free repair.

www.cpsc.gov

Clearly another WIN for the Ralphamale!

 

[Lidl Drip]

Ralph sure owns Harry here!

View attachment 4355832

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1619358569048182785

Pure baller! $170 new on Amazon, $150 used! That'll own him hard!

View attachment 4355841

https://www.amazon.com/Brand-Cross-Country-Jogger-Charcoal-Galaxy/dp/B01L7C47P8

Oh wait... Did he say ballin? I think he meant fallen.... There's a recall on that model...

View attachment 4355851

Delta Recalls Strollers Due to Fall Hazard

Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled strollers and can contact Delta for a free repair.

www.cpsc.gov

Clearly another WIN for the Ralphamale!

Not even a Maxi Cosi for Cozy Rozy, what a cheap fuck. You know he has done zero research into strollers cause otherwise he would know that what he bought is CHEAP SHIT. A decent stroller costs you around $400-500, a high end one is at least a thousand. Yes baby shit is expensive as hell, but if you want Meigh to live her best mommy influencer life you need to do a little bit better than this.

You know this is the first thing other than that onesie he ever bought for Rozy cause he would have shown off other stuff if he had purchased any. It's just fucking tragic and highlights what a piece of shit dad he is.

 

[BrieLarsonFan2004]

Ralph sure owns Harry here!

View attachment 4355832

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1619358569048182785

Pure baller! $170 new on Amazon, $150 used! That'll own him hard!

View attachment 4355841

https://www.amazon.com/Brand-Cross-Country-Jogger-Charcoal-Galaxy/dp/B01L7C47P8

Oh wait... Did he say ballin? I think he meant fallin.... There's a recall...

View attachment 4355851

Delta Recalls Strollers Due to Fall Hazard

Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled strollers and can contact Delta for a free repair.

www.cpsc.gov

Clearly another WIN for the Ralphamale!

HOLD ON ROZY!

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Ralph sure owns Harry here!

View attachment 4355832

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1619358569048182785

Pure baller! $170 new on Amazon, $150 used! That'll own him hard!

View attachment 4355895

https://www.amazon.com/Brand-Cross-Country-Jogger-Charcoal-Galaxy/dp/B01L7C47P8

Oh wait... Did he say ballin? I think he meant fallin.... There's a recall...

View attachment 4355851

Delta Recalls Strollers Due to Fall Hazard

Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled strollers and can contact Delta for a free repair.

www.cpsc.gov

Clearly another WIN for the Ralphamale!

Anyone got good pics of Rozy's previous stroller for a price check?

 

[Lidl Drip]

Anyone got good pics of Rozy's previous stroller for a price check?

It's featured in the cuba video. Looks like a stroller you can just pop the cheap second hand graco carseat they have into.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Cozy.tv Rozy looks more like the Gunt as time goes by, poor thing
I guess she lucked out in that respect, at least she doesn't look like Meigh.

 

[Makoto Niijima]

Ralph sure owns Harry here!

View attachment 4355832

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1619358569048182785

Pure baller! $170 new on Amazon, $150 used! That'll own him hard!

View attachment 4355895

https://www.amazon.com/Brand-Cross-Country-Jogger-Charcoal-Galaxy/dp/B01L7C47P8

Oh wait... Did he say ballin? I think he meant fallin.... There's a recall...

View attachment 4355851

Delta Recalls Strollers Due to Fall Hazard

Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled strollers and can contact Delta for a free repair.

www.cpsc.gov

Clearly another WIN for the Ralphamale!

That's a 5-Star Stroller bish. You mad Harry? You could NEVER afford a stroller like this. BITCH

 

[Spudnik]

It's featured in the cuba video. Looks like a stroller you can just pop the cheap second hand graco carseat they have into.

It's also somewhat in a couple resturant/hostage photos, and the handle is visable in the Ralphaceremony. Good call on a carseat adaptor, the handle lines up. isn't much cheaper. Ralph is a brand-bitch and probably just bought it because he saw the word "jeep" and thought it would look nice with his man-purse.

Edit: It doesn't appear to have had any recalls, pretty obvious Harry cares more about Rozy than Ralph does.

 

[Schlomo Silverscreenblatt]

Ralph had to buy discontinued dangerous strollers at a discount how pathetic!!! A real high roller like ralph could've bought something better.

 

[░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓ด้้้้้็็็็็้้]

Ralph sure owns Harry here!

View attachment 4355832

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1619358569048182785

At least Ralph took the beer can out of the cupholder before taking the photo.

 

[AltisticRight]

The only book Ethan has ever read was Faith's diary.

That's also a top stroller there Ethan, did you search "stroller 5 star" on amazon.mx and chose the one with free shipping? Pathetic, the absolute state of the Ralph household where he has to brag about a stroller. Why did he even take Harry's if it was such a cheap piece of junk? $170 versus $119, woah there big fucking deal alright, huge savings. A whopping $51, or just over 2 bottles of Makers Mark or 5 happy meals.

Keep winning.

 

[chudbere]

Rozy is around 10 months old now, and is likely close to outgrowing her first infant car seat and swapping it for one that is permanently installed in the car. Graco does make strollers that you can continue to use after they have outgrown the car seat, but it looks like their old one was not that model and only works with the seat snapped in.

I can almost guarantee that is why they got a new stroller, not to own Harry with spending *checks notes* $170. May is really gonna regret getting a three wheeled jogging stroller if she ever plans to use this thing anywhere but paved sidewalks.

 

[Derpy]

Ralph, that’s still a cheap stroller and not very sensible. I guess the incels will be impressed that it’s a Jeep.

We all know Morris has done more for your kid than you ever can and this cheap stroller isn’t the own you think it is.

Gucci glasses and a Jeep stroller will never change the fact that you will be paying rent for the rest of your life.

 

[Obscura539]

I always wondered what type of people fall victim to these silly branding campaigns. It is clearly a rebranded mass produced stroller. What does a Chrysler know about strollers? Does the Jeep brand command a premium? Weird.

Attempting to shit-talk your father-in-law’s contributions towards your child because you were ill prepared isn’t the flex you think it is Ralph.

Ralph, you could not afford to rent the house Harry owns.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

I don't know I always found the Aurelius statue quite amusing. It looked like it was looking down on him with contempt, saying to the viewer "and this is the consequence, behold this, the God's mistake" Ralph stands as an example of diametrical opposition to stoic principles and Roman virtues in general.

“When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love ...”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Jokes on you Marc, Ralph's doing none of that shit.

 

[Lidl Drip]

The only book Ethan has ever read was Faith's diary.

That's also a top stroller there Ethan, did you search "stroller 5 star" on amazon.mx and chose the one with free shipping? Pathetic, the absolute state of the Ralph household where he has to brag about a stroller. Why did he even take Harry's if it was such a cheap piece of junk? $170 versus $119, woah there big fucking deal alright, huge savings. A whopping $51, or just over 2 bottles of Makers Mark or 5 happy meals.

Keep winning.

Harry also bought the carseat that goes with the stroller, so he paid way more than Ralph if you add it together. He also made a smarter choice by buying a carseat + stroller combo because those are practical unlike the big unwieldy one Ralph bought. Comes with experience of actually being a parent. Not to mention that Harry also bought Rozies clothes, bassinet, diapers, bottles, toys and literally everything baby Rozy owns other than one shitty onesie from Portugal. Ralph is a deadbeat dad even to the child that lives with him. Both of his kids are financed entirely by their grandparents because Ralph is a broke loser who doesn't give a shit about his offspring.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Imagine bragging about what a piece of shit father you are. Unbelievable. Meigh you’re possibly worse than he is, co-signing this bullshit. Your dad took you in when you fled from Ralph days before you gave birth and sheltered you when Ralph abandoned you and newborn Roxicet once he got the photo he wanted for Twitter, for weeks long cocaine bender. Harry provided you everything for the baby. Ungrateful bitches both of you.

 

[Burd Turglar]

She really IS starting to look like her dear sweet pig pa.