Cultcow EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan / cannotgoogleme - Edgy weeaboo coomer with pedo tendencies and 15+ years internet history as a lolcow, now known as a disaster developer behind eternal debug build called "Yandere Simulator", confirmed groomer and dollfucker

[LucasSomething]

Someone on reddit told Alex do get his shit done https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere_simulator/comments/5gytun/real_talk/ of course he got mad and wrote a loooong answer.

>A 2019 release window isn't possible for Yandere Simulator

No. It's on target.

>I don't buy the "email excuse" anymore

I haven't mentioned e-mails at all since April. E-mails are not a big obstacle anymore. I do have to spend a lot of time corresponding with volunteers over e-mail, but this is necessary to have much of the content you see in the game.

>The game has been in development since 2014 and yet not much is done in terms of actual gameplay

It's not my goal to game "actual gameplay" until all core game mechanics are in place.

>I know that YandereDev's the only developer working on the game but I feel that maybe he could ask some people to help him develop the game.

Once we bring another programmer onboard the project, progress on the game would most likely halt for several weeks while the programmer is brought up to speed and various aspects of the game's code are refactored. Without a constant stream of progress, "Hype" for the game would die quickly. The success of the crowdfunding campaign is dependent on "Hype", so pre-Kickstarter would be the worst time to have a lack of progress for several months. Consequentially, now would be the worst point in time to bring another programmer onboard the project. Post-Kickstarter would be the most ideal time.

>Osana shouldn't take as long as it's taking.

If I had all necessary animations and assets right from the beginning, then she would have been done months ago, but I've been waiting for assets.

>Let's take a look at the indie game Hello Neighbor.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that game is "Hide from an NPC who is searching for you", right? Let's compare it to Yandere Simulator. In Yandere Sim, we have...

• Sanity-based animations
• Ways to lose sanity
• Ways to gain back sanity
• Becoming bloody
• Cleaning off blood
• Blood pools from dead bodies
• Cleaning up blood pools
• Changing clothing
• Filling and emptying buckets
• Multiple types of liquids with different properties
• 11 clubs that each offer a different type of benefit
• The ability to compliment NPCs, gossip with NPCs, apologize to NPCs, do tasks for NPCs, ask NPCs to do favors for you
• Numerous different types of personalities for NPCs
• Different reactions to murder based on personality, Different reactions to camera based on personality
• The ability to take pictures with a camera
• The ability to put pictures on a corkboard
• Equipping clothing at home that grants different bonuses
• The ability to gossip online
• Minigames that can be played at home
• The ability to burn an NPC's body
• The ability to shred an NPC's body
• The ability to dismember an NPC
• The ability to hide body parts inside of a trash can
• The ability to set an NPC on fire
• The ability to drown an NPC
• The ability to distract NPCs with sound
• The ability to purchase beneficial items from a vendor
• The ability to purchase guides to elimination methods
• The ability to kill someone by dropping heavy objects on them
• Different attack animations based on type of weapon
• The ability to poison a girl
• Leveling up abilities in class
• The ability to kidnap a girl
• The ability to torture a girl
• The ability to bring a girl to school as a mind-broken slave
• The ability to send your slave to kill someone and kill herself
• The ability to drive a girl to suicide by ruining her reputation
• The ability to befriend or betray a girl by following a "questline" from her
• The ability to electrocute an NPC
• NPCs with daily routines and schedules
• NPCs with relationships to one another who react uniquely when seeing someone specific die
• A whole bunch of other stuff that I'm not going to bother listing because I've already listed more than enough
• On top of everything else, numerous easter eggs

I don't mean any disrespect at all to the developers of Hello Neighbor, but come on, you really can't compare Hello Neighbor and Yandere Simulator. They are two entirely different types of games. Of course a game like Hello Neighbor is being developed faster. Obviously it is. It does not have the ridiculously huge scope of a game like Yandere Simulator.

>they're a bit on the side of being stereotypes of typical anime

I don't want to risk sounding like Kojima here, but you're going to be really surprised once the final game comes out.

>The teacher and nurse pursuing Senpai is a bit creepy, pedophilic and just plain wrong.

Pursing an 18-year-old is pedophilic? That is a very silly statement.

>The story can be reworked, the characters can be reworked.

Saying this without actually seeing what I have in mind for the story and characters is, honestly, quite foolish.

>Stop with excuses.

"Excuses"? So that's what it's called when a developer communicates with a usebase and gives updates about development and explanations for unexpected obstacles?

As the old saying goes... "Put up or shut up".

You're welcome to take your own advice. Put up with the pace of the game's development, or shut up.

>If you don't have the passion, dedication, or patience to work on the game anymore please be honest and let the fans know.

Already would have stopped if that was the case.

>Finally get rid of mission mode.

But tons of people enjoy it. Why would I remove a feature that tons of people enjoy? That would be incredibly foolish. And, no, there are numerous differences between Mission Mode and Hitman's Contracts Mode. If you think they are similar, you are looking only at the superficial similarities.

There have been numerous times when I read criticism for Yandere Simulator and agreed with it wholeheartedly, but this is honestly not one of those times.

And of course, his brainless fan replied

You showed that self-righteous idiot who is in charge!

Seriously,What he is even doing here?

Yeah, this is really petty of him, i'll write a comment here explaining why all of Alex "arguments" are extremely weak.

Spoiler: long

No. It's on target.

Is it? Despite all these godawful delays it's on target? What guarantee we have besides your word?

I haven't mentioned e-mails at all since April. E-mails are not a big obstacle anymore. I do have to spend a lot of time corresponding with volunteers over e-mail, but this is necessary to have much of the content you see in the game.

Okay i get it, you changed the excuse from "blame the emails" to "blame the volunteers" because no one would have the guts to complain about them, i get it ok?

Once we bring another programmer onboard the project, progress on the game would most likely halt for several weeks while the programmer is brought up to speed and various aspects of the game's code are refactored. Without a constant stream of progress, "Hype" for the game would die quickly. The success of the crowdfunding campaign is dependent on "Hype", so pre-Kickstarter would be the worst time to have a lack of progress for several months. Consequentially, now would be the worst point in time to bring another programmer onboard the project. Post-Kickstarter would be the most ideal time.

I like how you're counting on the paid programmer to do all the work lol. Relying on hype to sucess is a terrible idea Alex. If (and when) you fail, it will backfire much harder in your face. Also, this isn't a valid excuse to not hire some help with your patreon money bro.

If I had all necessary animations and assets right from the beginning, then she would have been done months ago, but I've been waiting for assets.

By "waiting" you' mean taking a vacation? Is this seriously how you work Alex? Can't you at least try to start her work without the animations? You literally can't do anything until the volunteers give you everything? That's... just pathetic.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that game is "Hide from an NPC who is searching for you", right? Let's compare it to Yandere Simulator. In Yandere Sim, we have...

Your entire list of "features" is pointless Alex. Half of them only serve to accomplish the same thing (kill) and the other half barely works (people reacting to blood) or isn't really impressive (oh wow you go to class and increase 1 stat...). Don't even try to brag.

I don't mean any disrespect at all to the developers of Hello Neighbor, but come on, you really can't compare Hello Neighbor and Yandere Simulator. They are two entirely different types of games. Of course a game like Hello Neighbor is being developed faster. Obviously it is. It does not have the ridiculously huge scope of a game like Yandere Simulator.

"Ridiculously huge scope"? The entire thing is made on unity with stolen assets Alex. Hello Neighbor will have multiple huge houses, a working physics and they make each of their models. That's much more than you can ever say.

they're a bit on the side of being stereotypes of typical anime

I don't want to risk sounding like Kojima here, but you're going to be really surprised once the final game comes out.

What the fuck does Kojima's "be ashamed of your words" has anything to do with anime tropes??? That was bullshit, Quiet did wind up have a shit excuse for walking semi naked, Kojima lied either to troll or to "hype" the inevitable controversy and give his game more attention.

Nobody will feel surprised cause we all know what to expect, shitty anime tropes. You can't unironically quote Kojima like this and expect it to excuse everything.

Pursing an 18-year-old is pedophilic? That is a very silly statement.

What about all the other students Mida preys? Are they all 18 too because you say they are? Silly is making a teacher/high school student relationship in a weeb simulator game.

Saying this without actually seeing what I have in mind for the story and characters is, honestly, quite foolish.

>"You don't know anything. You are a fool."
Nice arguments there Alex.

"Excuses"? So that's what it's called when a developer communicates with a usebase and gives updates about development and explanations for unexpected obstacles?

Unexpected obstacles like what? It's always "muh emails!" or "muh volunteers" or "i didn't have time to do finish the job!". Those aren't unexpected, they're excuses. Also, somehow Alex always finds time to stream and take random vacations.

You're welcome to take your own advice. Put up with the pace of the game's development, or shut up.

Already would have stopped if that was the case.

You didn't stop cause it's easy money and praise. You're certainly not doing this for passion, as evidenced by your lack of effort.

But tons of people enjoy it. Why would I remove a feature that tons of people enjoy? That would be incredibly foolish. And, no, there are numerous differences between Mission Mode and Hitman's Contracts Mode. If you think they are similar, you are looking only at the superficial similarities.

Because it was something nobody expected and it will eat a lot of development time? Yes Alex, it's literally stolen from hitman, almost everything is, you didn't even try. Also, "incredibly foolish" again? What are you, a jrpg villain?

 

[Cupcake9]

"And, no, there are numerous differences between Mission Mode and Hitman's Contracts Mode. If you think they are similar, you are looking only at the superficial similarities."

Aww, that's just adorable. He trully thinks his mode is diferent! Okay, who am I trying to fool? Even the goddam FONT used on this mode is exactly the same. The "win/game over" screen is the same, the music is similar, the objectives are goddam similar aswell. Am I really suposed to believe this is a completly diferent thing compared to Hitman?

BTW, that huge list of KEWL FEETUREZ surely reminds me of something!
"I made a game with Sanity-based animation, Ways to lose sanity, Ways to gain back sanity, (...) The ability to distract NPCs with sound, The ability to purchase beneficial items from a vendor, The ability to purchase guides to elimination methods, (...............), Leveling up abilities in class, The ability to kidnap a girl, The ability to torture a girl, The ability to bring a girl to school as a mind-broken slave, The ability to send your slave to kill someone and kill herself (......... STOP IT!!.......) and on top of everything else, numerous easter eggs! Isn't that impressive? ISN'T THAT ATENTION WORTHY??? WHY DON'T YOU LIEK MY GEIM???!!

And the best part is that a lot of things he mentioned can be easily done by any programer/developer, like the "being covered with blood", "kill someone", "distract an npc", "level up skills"... Gosh, Eva is ridiculous in every aspect.

 

[Lackadaisy]

>The teacher and nurse pursuing Senpai is a bit creepy, pedophilic and just plain wrong.

Pursing an 18-year-old is pedophilic? That is a very silly statement.

if you're an adult woman who actively chooses to bang a high school boy, him being 18 or not probably wouldn't deter you.

 

[Lalala]

if you're an adult woman who actively chooses to bang a high school boy, him being 18 or not probably wouldn't deter you.

Honestly from the perspective of a trainee teacher we really really don't need yet another goddamn 'sexy teacher' trying to justify being a predator towards a student, legal or not. We already have to jump through a million criminal checks and safeguarding hoops, Eva is basically fucking us over by putting a wrongun in his game for shits and giggles. It puts that stereotype back into the spotlight and can lead to shite like students propositioning their teachers and then reporting them when they get rejected.

 

[ArnbjornsBitch]

Eva's list of meme simulator's features is just beyond ridiculous. It's just as he made another game named 'Eating Simulator' and brags about the features like:

* The ability to look at food
* The ability to touch the food
* The ability to eat the food
* The ability to chew the food
* The ability to savor the food
* The ability to swallow the food
* The ability to digest the food
* The ability to fill a glass with water
* The ability to drink water
* The ability to exhale
* And finally, numerous easter eggs.

 

[cwcvillemayoress]

Someone on reddit told Alex do get his shit done https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere_simulator/comments/5gytun/real_talk/ of course he got mad and wrote a loooong answer.



And of course, his brainless fan replied



Yeah, this is really petty of him, i'll write a comment here explaining why all of Alex "arguments" are extremely weak.

Spoiler: long

Is it? Despite all these godawful delays it's on target? What guarantee we have besides your word?



Okay i get it, you changed the excuse from "blame the emails" to "blame the volunteers" because no one would have the guts to complain about them, i get it ok?



I like how you're counting on the paid programmer to do all the work lol. Relying on hype to sucess is a terrible idea Alex. If (and when) you fail, it will backfire much harder in your face. Also, this isn't a valid excuse to not hire some help with your patreon money bro.



By "waiting" you' mean taking a vacation? Is this seriously how you work Alex? Can't you at least try to start her work without the animations? You literally can't do anything until the volunteers give you everything? That's... just pathetic.



Your entire list of "features" is pointless Alex. Half of them only serve to accomplish the same thing (kill) and the other half barely works (people reacting to blood) or isn't really impressive (oh wow you go to class and increase 1 stat...). Don't even try to brag.



"Ridiculously huge scope"? The entire thing is made on unity with stolen assets Alex. Hello Neighbor will have multiple huge houses, a working physics and they make each of their models. That's much more than you can ever say.




What the fuck does Kojima's "be ashamed of your words" has anything to do with anime tropes??? That was bullshit, Quiet did wind up have a shit excuse for walking semi naked, Kojima lied either to troll or to "hype" the inevitable controversy and give his game more attention.

Nobody will feel surprised cause we all know what to expect, shitty anime tropes. You can't unironically quote Kojima like this and expect it to excuse everything.



What about all the other students Mida preys? Are they all 18 too because you say they are? Silly is making a teacher/high school student relationship in a weeb simulator game.



>"You don't know anything. You are a fool."
Nice arguments there Alex.



Unexpected obstacles like what? It's always "muh emails!" or "muh volunteers" or "i didn't have time to do finish the job!". Those aren't unexpected, they're excuses. Also, somehow Alex always finds time to stream and take random vacations.

You didn't stop cause it's easy money and praise. You're certainly not doing this for passion, as evidenced by your lack of effort.



Because it was something nobody expected and it will eat a lot of development time? Yes Alex, it's literally stolen from hitman, almost everything is, you didn't even try. Also, "incredibly foolish" again? What are you, a jrpg villain?

I'm pretty much tired of his bullshit with this whole game thus I've decided to be the "fan" that gives him a kick in the ass to get things done.
Funny how his reply is still full of excuses. I hope he actually stops his excuses and work on the damn game. Of course this is Alex we're talking about and he won't take my advice.
Funny how he didn't mention or yell at me for mentioning Lunar Sycthe.

 

[Encucumbered]

*The ability to slurp.
*The ability to have big busty boobies.
*The ability to sexualise minors.

 

[Cupcake9]

*The ability to forget that student/teacher relationships are illegal despite senpai being 18 years old.
*The ability to use the exact same model on every goddam student and claim they all have a "unique apareance", aka bigger busty boobies, neon-colored hairstyles and crazy looking stockings.

 

[Lalala]

I'd love to see this in reverse.
"Correct me if I'm wrong but Yandere Simulator is basically a "kill girls who like the guy you like" game right? Hello neighbour has
-The ability to climb through windows
-The ability to ring doorbells and run away
-The ability to pick up and throw bear traps
-The ability to make distracting noises to lure away the neighbour
-The ability to turn off the furnace to hamper the neighbours progress..."
Like if someone compared Yan-Sim to something like Agario I'd kinda get his point but this list he's made is such a transparent bitch out that it's been pointed out there are better devs working faster and making a better product than his precious Lunar Scythe simulator.

 

[zFlarex]

From the IRC:

I'm not a good enough programmer to program it any other way than how it is currently programmed. I'd need super explicit advice to get it to work any other way.

Funny how this still relevant to Yandere Simulator

 

[Keystone]

I'm not a good enough programmer to program it any other way than how it is currently programmed. I'd need super explicit advice to get it to work any other way.

I'm not a good enough programmer to program it

I'm not a good enough programmer

I'd say he's on the road to self-awareness with that statement, but we all know that just isn't the way of the Cow.

 

[zFlarex]

I'd say he's on the road to self-awareness with that statement, but we all know that just isn't the way of the Cow.

I made a comment on YandereDev's comment because he's doing the exact same thing again. You can see it over here.

 

[LucasSomething]

I just realized how ironic it is that Alex dismissed Hello Neighbor as "a game that you hide from an npc who searches for you" considering that's something you CANT do in YanSim, a Stealth game that calls itself inspired by hitman. Note that he didn't put "hide from npcs" in his huge list of features, that automatically proves YanSim a worse stealth game.

 

[Cupcake9]

I just realized how ironic it is that Alex dismissed Hello Neighbor as "a game that you hide from an npc who searches for you" considering that's something you CANT do in YanSim, a Stealth game that calls itself inspired by hitman. Note that he didn't put "hide from npcs" in his huge list of features, that automatically proves YanSim a worse stealth game.

Sometimes I forget YanSim was suposed to be a stealth game rather than a fetish/meme simulator. Oh well.

 

[vertexwindi]

Sometimes I forget it's supposed to be a game.

 

[LucasSomething]

Apparently Alex forgot too.

I can't believe i never joked about this. How do you make a Stealth game where the main character can't hide? I know these things usually look silly (like Hitman having a huge closet in every bathroom) but this is basic videogame design. It's insane how this game has been in development for years and the stealth never really went past "Just throw the clothes, weapon and corpse in the stove". Instead of creating new ways to hide evidence and places to hide, Alex increased the stove cooldown and created the delinquents to watch the stove.

Alex is like the game dev version of DSP. "This is how you DON'T design a videogame".

 

[cwcvillemayoress]

I actually mentioned he should talk to other developers (like the guys working on Hello Neighbor) about how to fix his buggy mess of a meme game.
Guess I'm on the list of "Midoris" bothering precious Devdaddy with my constant requests for an actual good game. I think he'd be pissed if someone makes their version of Yandere Simulator and it's actually a functioning non-meme game.

 

[zFlarex]

Apparently Alex forgot too.

I can't believe i never joked about this. How do you make a Stealth game where the main character can't hide? I know these things usually look silly (like Hitman having a huge closet in every bathroom) but this is basic videogame design. It's insane how this game has been in development for years and the stealth never really went past "Just throw the clothes, weapon and corpse in the stove". Instead of creating new ways to hide evidence and places to hide, Alex increased the stove cooldown and created the delinquents to watch the stove.

Alex is like the game dev version of DSP. "This is how you DON'T design a videogame".

I think she can hide behind some conveniently placed wooden object but it's pointless as fuck, because NPCs can still get you even if you hide.

 

[Lalala]

Apparently Alex forgot too.

I can't believe i never joked about this. How do you make a Stealth game where the main character can't hide? I know these things usually look silly (like Hitman having a huge closet in every bathroom) but this is basic videogame design. It's insane how this game has been in development for years and the stealth never really went past "Just throw the clothes, weapon and corpse in the stove". Instead of creating new ways to hide evidence and places to hide, Alex increased the stove cooldown and created the delinquents to watch the stove.

Alex is like the game dev version of DSP. "This is how you DON'T design a videogame".

Dude have you seen the delinquents give chase? There are zero variables, no ways to slow them down or throw them off the scent, that code is locked the fuck down. I've played and made a game of trying to find ways to stop them, shutting doors on them, teleporting around the map, going to class, going home, nothing works.
So the idea that Eva will then take this rigid as shit ridiculous code of "If I see corpse I will chase forever" and be able to introduce flexible variables like line of sight, time passed, location and hiding is cracking my shit up. He can't even figure out how to make those fuckers not run through walls when chasing, I sincerely doubt he can handle them giving up chase if Yan-chankunsama jumps into a box.

 

[zFlarex]

https://www.reddit.com/r/yandere_si...es_ayano_suffer_from_a_mental_condition_that/
Gotta love how they're parroting Eva's own definition of yanderes
View attachment 160025
Wonder if they'll request for Anime tropes to add it.

That's a sarcastic comment being made.

Dude have you seen the delinquents give chase? There are zero variables, no ways to slow them down or throw them off the scent, that code is locked the fuck down. I've played and made a game of trying to find ways to stop them, shutting doors on them, teleporting around the map, going to class, going home, nothing works.
So the idea that Eva will then take this rigid as shit ridiculous code of "If I see corpse I will chase forever" and be able to introduce flexible variables like line of sight, time passed, location and hiding is cracking my shit up. He can't even figure out how to make those fuckers not run through walls when chasing, I sincerely doubt he can handle them giving up chase if Yan-chankunsama jumps into a box.

Probably secretly disabled some colliders so the game has a higher a FPS, and as soon as the gym has colliders on it the FPS is fucked, obviously there are multitude of ways to fix the issue but that all involves effort which YandereDev won't put in. He also won't add the code to stop them as it meanings adding more if statements to check Ayano's position difference relative to her chaser or maybe if she is currently hiding in every Update method, and he already complains about how hard it is to edit the Update method.