Everyone wants experience but none gives it - "We need you to have 2 years of experience to lift boxes!"

[We Are The Witches]

I'm talking about the job market, it's unbelievable. Seems like most of the jobs out there require for you to have a year or two at minimum in order to work at their place, even if the task is simple or would require less than half a week of getting used to/being trained on it. Yeah, you should still apply, but then you get Pikachu faced when turns out you don't have what was asked.

Obviously they don't want to train anyone, just profit at short term, but then this is how this toxic environment expands to infect the entire market. Looks like you need the help of nepotism, or just blatantly lie in order to access some entry-level job, which is absurd. So then by excluding the ones that don't lie in their résumé, you end up recycling the same people, specially if you are in a small town, preventing new workers or potential talent to have a go at it.

I know this is Kiwifarms, where the "space-engineers" living in their mansion with crack and anime figurines don't have to worry about this, but if you're at a point in life where you still have to search for a job, specially in a shitholed economy, this is a serious issue.

With the amount of idiots I've seen doing some shit job, and they're still not going to consider hiring someone new? Can you not train them in like a week, it's not rocket science; they don't give opportunities unless you do some shady stuff. And with the AI filtering (if they do) this is even shadier, it's all tricks and no actual skill, that's when you end up with your worker playing solitaire instead of doing what they were supposed to.

 

[libRT]

It is batshit insane, but even without those requirements, chances are you'd be competing with people who do have that experience. A part of keynesian economics is to keep unemployment above 10% to keep wages low, but it also hurts people trying to get into industries. The hubristic engineering of the economy forces workers into 'fake it until you make it' or 'cheat shit or eat shit' stratagems.

 

[Ibanez RG 350EX]

Many employers aren't even willing to train you to do the job they're paying you to perform. The worst part of my job by far is regularly having to feign understanding of systems I have no knowledge of and don't have enough access/resources to figure out on my own.

 

[Tar&FeatherFurrys]

This is why I always suggest watching youtube video's about the job field so you learn the lingo or interning (unfortunately for free) If you have the ability you can also form an LLC and have someone you know pose as a previous longterm employer to pitch in support for your reference. It's gay and retarded but it works. If you can talk the talk, you can generally get a grasp on the work as it's thrown at you so long as it's entry level for that field. I'm not saying this is good, or right, merely ways to work in a system that is twisted and failing. Then once you accumulate a year or two in that job you can jumpship to another position that requires similar experience. It's best to do so after enough time to accrue goodwill but short term enough that you don't get busted for being a fake it till you make it type individual. I have two nephews getting into the workforce now and it's fucking terrible, and I genuinely give my sympathies to anyone competing now. Just do your best to secure something soon, I can't imagine things will get easier after the economy hits the brickwall post elections.

Best of luck frens, we'll all make it in the end, just don't give up!

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

I know this is Kiwifarms, where the "space-engineers"

Hello there.

Yeah, its a pain in the ass, but the only real thing is to either join the military for job experience or be lucky enough to have gone to a college (if your job has a degree path) where they let you do coops. Otherwise you're gonna have to grasp at some straws/suck somebodys dick and network with them.

 

[Shroom King]

I was hiring for an open position. I found a guy with 25 years of directly applicable experience and I got an application with someone else fresh out of school.

Guess which one I hired? I am overworked and burned out, I don't have the time to train newfags, sorry.

 

[ArnoldPalmer]

I understand your concerns and do sympathize, but you gotta get that when you see this pattern, understand that the companies you're watching do this, aren't actually interested in hiring. A grand majority of LinkedIn and Indeed listings are fake, and the legit businesses that put out these ridiculous requirements, are capitalizing on one of two things;

1. They are taking advantage of the fact that you are a desperate and recent college grad, or one with a degree in low demand, because they can absolutely RAPE you on pay.

2. Once again, the job listing could be fake and is really just a product of HR busywork.

Job postings are at a recent boon in the year of our Lord, Jesus Christ, 2024. This is not reflective of jobs actually hiring. The job market is UTTER DOG SHIT right now, and if you live in a place that isn't exactly a big star on the map, like I do, you'll find that there are some fast food joints that haven't even reopened their dining rooms since COVID. THAT should be your finger on the pulse of the job market more than anything else.

McDonalds and Wendy's are not desperate for work, and a lot of them found out that operating a dining room is more expensive than it's worth, as all of their revenue is drive-thru traffic. That's reflective of most levels of Corporate America right now. There are HUGE companies out there right now that are reporting YoY earnings, but are getting that through firing all of their staff. Two big examples are Stellantis Group (Formerly FiatChrysler, Formerly Chrysler, Formerly Chuck's), and Best Buy (Magnolia, Jitterbug/Lively, Insignia, Dynex, Geek Squad, etc). I assume death for both of these companies inside of five years, and honestly, possibly the next two.

You guys better get ready for the winter and spring of next year, because our economy is buttfucked to Hell, and we're not bouncing back.

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

"We are looking for someone that has operated a jizz mop for 3 to 5 years, 2 years just isn't enough these days"

 

[Your Starter for 10]

Just fucking lie, there's no repercussions other than getting fired (which is better than not getting hired in the first place). 90% of the time it's not going to matter, since either they're going to teach you how THEY do it anyway, or it really IS a job you shouldn't be applying for.

There's only 4 outcomes:

You don't get hired which you weren't going to anyway.
You get hired and they never find out.
You get hired and they find out, but don't fire you because you're working fine.
They find out and fire you. Oh well, you got some pay, some experience (lol).

 

[MrTroll]

Literally everyone is lying on their resume except you, dummy.

 

[Trump's Chosen]

Just fucking lie, there's no repercussions other than getting fired (which is better than not getting hired in the first place). 90% of the time it's not going to matter, since either they're going to teach you how THEY do it anyway, or it really IS a job you shouldn't be applying for.

The reason they want someone with 2 years of experience is that when they got someone with 1 year experience, they had no fucking idea how to do the job (because they lied).

The worst thing you can do in anything where there's competition (and if there was no competition you'd have been hired on the spot) is to place on yourself more stringent rules than others place on themselves.

So yes, just fucking lie. If that seems unethical, wait until you find out what things they lied about in their job offering.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

I saw a sign at a diner yesterday which read: "experienced waiters wanted!" Imagine living in a society where it is impossible for young people to enter the job market because even the starters require experience.

Just fucking lie, there's no repercussions other than getting fired (which is better than not getting hired in the first place). 90% of the time it's not going to matter, since either they're going to teach you how THEY do it anyway, or it really IS a job you shouldn't be applying for.

There's only 4 outcomes:

You don't get hired which you weren't going to anyway.
You get hired and they never find out.
You get hired and they find out, but don't fire you because you're working fine.
They find out and fire you. Oh well, you got some pay, some experience (lol).

I've lied in interviews for every single job I've ever gotten, and I give myself phony promotions when writing a resume. No one has ever noticed, even when I took a temporary job that required a supposedly extensive background check.

 

[Grub]

I was hiring for an open position. I found a guy with 25 years of directly applicable experience and I got an application with someone else fresh out of school.

Guess which one I hired? I am overworked and burned out, I don't have the time to train newfags, sorry.

But on the other hand. I was hired for a job doing a skilled trade with absolutely no prior experience and trained on the job because all the experienced people they'd hired before me ended up being alcoholics or drug addicts or would demand a lot of money and still do shitty work.

And my favourite and probably the best job I've ever had was like the most generic ad that said something like warehouse worker needed or some shit that I applied for because I was sick of the type of work I had been doing, turns out it was not that at all, it was actually cool as fuck and they trained me from not even understanding that such jobs existed to the point where I was running a section of the shop. I'm still sad about having to move and leave that job and that was years ago now. That was by far the best place I've ever worked.

I never gave a fuck if a job said needed experience or not unless it was something I knew I just couldn't do without having experience. If I had experience in it sure great, but if not I would just make sure I mention any related skills or even semi related skills in my cover letter. I've gotten quite a few interviews for jobs that asked for experience I didn't necessarily have over the years. You just have to sell yourself. That's what looking for a job is. You're basically trying to prove to whoever why they should hire you to do whatever job over someone else.

Having been in a position where I've been having to go through resumes. First thing I look at before anything else is the resume itself. If it looks like a retarded sped who can't read or write or like someone who put the bare minimum effort in or their resume was formatted in a way that made it unbearable to read, I don't even bother. Then I looked through basically the types of jobs they'd done and whatever skills they'd listed. If they were all fairly different than what the job they would be doing is, I usually wouldn't bother. If it was someone that had done at least something similar to what the job would be, they'd be on the maybe pile. I can't speak for big corporate HR type hiring shit, but at normal businesses it's usually a person looking at the resumes and unless that person is autistic and fucked, they probably look at resumes pretty similarly.

Basically, if you see a job that looks appealing and you think you can do it, just apply anyway and sell yourself the best you can. The worst that can happen is you don't get a response. It doesn't hurt to just try and sometimes it works out well.

 

[Sho'nuff]

There are 2 types of job postings when it comes to experience. One is reasonable experience request, like one or two years on a position, even entry level. They aren't looking for specifically one or two years in the exact position, they are looking for some kind of equivalent. One to two years experience is nothing, unless this is your first job and you didn't do anything in high school and/or college, you should have one or two years experience.
The second type of job posting is the unreasonable request, to which they aren't actually looking for someone but have to legally post the job before they give it to someone else. A lot of companies may slightly lower the unreasonable request and search for resumes as well.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Lie on your résumé.

Do not do this if you are applying for any government job or alphabet agency. Also, never do anything that might involve forging documents. Other than that, bullshitting on your résumé and in the interview are quite doable for the private sector.

Never make up your education, past workplaces, or how long you worked at past positions. What you do is add skills onto previous positions that are close enough, and then you schmooze through the interview if they come up. As long as you come across as confident, the interviewer won't know the difference unless he or she starts asking more technical questions (so don't lie about a technical skill unless you at least know something about it). You can mostly get away with this when the job wants you to have bullshit skills. Never provide references unless asked and, if asked, be goddamn sure your reference will be good. Otherwise, have a friend pose as a past employer.

If you worked for a company that is now out of business, inflate your position. Say you were a manager or something. Who's going to tell them you weren't?

This is all quite unethical, but companies will lie to you, so fuck 'em.

 

[Tomlinson]

They are not looking for the job description as written. It's illegal to say exactly what they want or it would sound totally irrelevant

 

[LGTV]

I want to get into sound production. Mixing and mastering. It's impossible to get into the real industry because most of the time you have to already have your name out there to get picked to mix and master albums.

I have been mixing and mastering stuff as a hobby, but I can't really put "I have been mixing and mastering illegally obtained multitrack recordings ripped from Guitar Hero and Rockband for the past 10 years" on my resume and send that to Warner music/Sony BMG/UMG.

I'm going to go to college for it but I doubt I will get anywhere after that. I have been contacting people to get in idea on how to get in but most just ignore me.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

I lie about having a masters degree and nobody knows. Lmao.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

you sound young. Wait until you got 5 years of experience and all of a sudden you're overqualified.

HR are vermin and thus an HR genocide must be commenced and every queer colored hair and maccha tea drinking whore must be hanged for their sins.

 

[Idiotron]

Here's the trick..... you lie on your CV.
Just make shit up completely, your job history, your education, your skills, fabricate everything.
99% of employers don't have time to check whether you're legit or not.
That's what I always do, every company I applied to basically got a custom made CV that I pulled out of my asshole, and I get good results.