Everyone wants experience but none gives it - "We need you to have 2 years of experience to lift boxes!"

[urr13 account]

Pajeetification of the job market means your entire resume should be fake, all your references are VA's you hired online and pay to say you worked at whatever company.

It wasn't always this way, at least not this bad, but you're dealing with millions of people whos entire education, qualifications, and work history is fictional and many companies are incentivized to hire them over you to have a more diverse staff. You basically have to be a borderline con artist to get an entry-level job now.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

You basically have to be a borderline con artist to get an entry-level job now.

Pretty much this, but more on the con- part of it. If you talk the talk you can get your foot in the door. A tolerable personality will get you places that a dream resume does not.

 

[Harm]

I found a guy with 25 years of directly applicable experience

Yeah, about that...

Just fucking lie

Literally everyone is lying on their resume except you, dummy.

I've lied in interviews for every single job I've ever gotten

Lie on your résumé.

I lie about having a masters degree and nobody knows. Lmao.

Here's the trick..... you lie on your CV.

Odds are you hired some liar like one of these people, lmao.

Speaking of which, I actually have 52 years of directly applicable experience, so feel free to hire me next.

 

[Day of the Cope]

A lot of people are saying "just lie". I'm going to tell you something a lot of people don't know or won't share:
Many of those listings were never for hiring in the first place and you're pissing up ropes.
Ghost jobs, phantom jobs, doesn't matter what you call them. In the end, they were never real to begin with.
The reasons are numerous: they want to look good by seeming like they're constantly growing, covering their asses by 'looking for a diverse workforce', or just busy work for HR.
Hell, in some cases, companies make listings with impossible requirements so they can eventually turn around to the government and say "see, we can't find anyone" then ask for more (cheaper) foreign workers.
Think I'm talking out my ass? We have companies willing to pay someone in another county pennies on the dollar to do 24/7 Zoom calls to take your fast food order.
There's a reason why the phase "it's not what you know, it's who you know" stands above all else.

Seriously, I hate to do the whole fucking doomer thing, but I think this image really summarizes how fucking bad things are right now.

A fucking 5 percent conversion rate with tailored CVs and custom cover letters... either most of those listings are bullshit or the economy is a complete joke.

 

[Raven of the Burning God]

It's so when the dangerhair in HR throws away all the resumes of white men, ni can tell ger supervisor it was due to not meeting the job posting requirements (legal) rather than admitting it was discrimination on the bases of race and sex (illegal).

 

[Mysterious Girlfriend X]

Here's the trick..... you lie on your CV.
Just make shit up completely, your job history, your education, your skills, fabricate everything.
99% of employers don't have time to check whether you're legit or not.
That's what I always do, every company I applied to basically got a custom made CV that I pulled out of my asshole, and I get good results.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

Apart from lying on your resume, the only thing I can recommend is doing voluntary work while you're looking for paid employment. That's what I did for a short period during my early 20s, and it was surprising how quickly I had multiple job offers for paid work after that. There are plenty of charities you can do volunteering for, even if you're on welfare benefits, and it definitely sets you apart from most of the other people who are applying for entry-level positions.

Not many places are going to turn down a volunteer, and it's basically free experience that you can put on your resume.

Alternatively, you can try to sleep your way into jobs/promotions.

A part of keynesian economics is to keep unemployment above 10% to keep wages low, but it also hurts people trying to get into industries.

That doesn't make any sense. Keynesian economics is primarily centered around the idea that economic growth is best stimulated by boosting aggregate demand, and you don't boost aggregate demand by having a low wage economy and/or high unemployment, because then people can't afford to spend money.

The real reason the economic/employment situation nowadays is so dire isn't because of Keynesian economics, but because of the neoliberal supply-side economic orthodoxy which has dominated since the 80s. Advocates of supply-side economics argue that their policies lead to growth, but the only thing that's grown exceptionally under their watch is outsourcing, CEO pay, share buybacks, and the net worth of billionaires. For everyone else, it's a racket.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

Not gonna lie, I believe the job market is complete fiction. Half of these companies do not even actually have the positions I've been applying for.

I feel completely fucking insane.

 

[libRT]

That doesn't make any sense. Keynesian economics is primarily centered around the idea that economic growth is best stimulated by boosting aggregate demand, and you don't boost aggregate demand by having a low wage economy and/or high unemployment, because then people can't afford to spend money.

Low unemployment over a period of time causes inflation as the wages for workers rise. When I said above 10% I didn't mean massive unemployment but I couldn't remember exactly what the figure was so i'm going to say between 10% and 15%, you're right that even keynesians recognise the problem with high unemployment, but the government doesn't, especially when it means that they can fill their pockets from lobbyists who want to supress wages, which has been contributing significantly to the economic inequality. Not the only factor though, the fact that governments want to regulate the fuck out of everything hurts necessary market competition which also exacerbates the problem.

 

[Tomlinson]

Pajeetification of the job market means your entire resume should be fake, all your references are VA's you hired online and pay to say you worked at whatever company.

It wasn't always this way, at least not this bad, but you're dealing with millions of people whos entire education, qualifications, and work history is fictional and many companies are incentivized to hire them over you to have a more diverse staff. You basically have to be a borderline con artist to get an entry-level job now.

How do you know if it's the fake resume or something else about the applicant?

 

[Flatline]

Many employers aren't even willing to train you to do the job they're paying you to perform.

Why spend money training someone who can't do the job when you can save money hiring someone who can?

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Not gonna lie, I believe the job market is complete fiction. Half of these companies do not even actually have the positions I've been applying for.

I feel completely fucking insane.

Yeah, it's maddening. My fallback position if I'm shitcanned at my current job is to ask around my AA group for work. In our current economy, a group of drunks are better at hiring and doing actual work than 6-figure HR and recruitment managers.

 

[Dialtone]

Just fucking lie, there's no repercussions other than getting fired (which is better than not getting hired in the first place). 90% of the time it's not going to matter, since either they're going to teach you how THEY do it anyway, or it really IS a job you shouldn't be applying for.

There's only 4 outcomes:

You don't get hired which you weren't going to anyway.
You get hired and they never find out.
You get hired and they find out, but don't fire you because you're working fine.
They find out and fire you. Oh well, you got some pay, some experience (lol).

Lying is very good, also leverage nepotism as hard as fucking possible, get daddy or mommy or your friend or fiance or whomever to get you in the door.

 

[Moon Guy]

Not going to like the job market is as broken as bossman's door. The facade of the door is there, but everyone sees is busted. I can only give you three tips to get work.

1. Lie on your resume. You want to know who you are lying to. Is it land-whale, danger-hair HR lady who works for a big megacorp. A person that is so useless and lazy that they will never read your resume. Or is the the company have 20-30 employees and there is a good chance the owner is the HR/Interview/future boss. Don't lie to that guy.

2. Find the recruiters/bosses. These people might be at golf courses or at bars/pubs near their place of work. Good to talk to them in a casual setting and make that good first impression. If they like you they may just ask for your resume personally. You get to bypass all this retarded buzzword AI bullcrap and get real human eyeballs on it.

3. Fuck the corps and start your own biz. Yea startups tend to fail a lot, but the trick is to bring your business to the clientele. Chill your business where ever you go, get it in people's minds. Hand out business cards to everyone you meet. Once you get those few first clients in, don't fuck up, and do good work; word of mouth will catch on like wildfire. You will end up so busy that work will have to be turned down.

Don't let the shitty market get you down. That's what the glowniggers want.

 

[MadStan]

You can lie on your resume all you want, but when you hit the floor doing the actual work it becomes pretty obvious you've got no experience for the jobs that require some thinking and use of mental skill.

I have an employee now that took me 5 hires to find someone that could actually do what they say they can do for real.

As a result, I pay him better than anyone I've ever had. I have tried to train several people, it is tiresome and they only want to learn enough to get by instead of becoming a professional. It's intolerable tbh and they deserve to be out of work.

 

[Soi Woh Jak]

Finally, my fucking area of expertise or rather frustration. I cant stand the job market and the education system. University doesnt mean shit anymore, they just teach you shit which will not be used in the job market, shit which will PROSPECTIVELY be useful down the line if the market decides to embrace said concept. The Tech industry reboots itself every 4-5 years which is probably the second worst part of working in the Tech Industry. I dont want my progress wiped every time corporate overlords decides the new tech makes everything go a nanosecond faster or changes margins by 2%. The first worst part of working in the Tech Industry is the utter lack of educational resources regarding the tech being used most of the time and the hubris displayed by companies in giving no time for people to learn things. Its been the biggest problem for me and the reason why Im frightened of shifting tech paradigms wherever I work, I cant master a new programming language with all its idiosyncrasies and intricacies over a weekend, I just cant and I fucking hate the expectation that I should become infinitely more knowledgeable than the textbook. Mastery requires practice, mastery takes time, its neither magic nor autism. Also most resources these days are videos and courses online, new tech is all based on online documentation not books. Im a textbook person, Im terrible at creating notes, I read textbooks and practice exercises from it, I hate the fact that the concept of a reference book is practically gone. I think Ill go on ranting and raving about tech and the job market till I die of asphyxiation but this is probably enough stream of consciousness garbage for one farms thread. TLDR: Fuck tech, Fuck the job market.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Half the people we hire for positions that ask for 2+ years of experience don't actually have any experience. The experience thing is just a legal way for us to turn down people we don't like for any reason without having to give the real reason. Small business though, big corporations might be different.

 

[Cornfed]

Hey OP, you are a real dipshit.
Entry level positions abound in areas like manufacturing, construction, food service, the things that make society work. It may not be what you want, but start there and apply your skill set to an area that you want to eventually work in. In a couple of years you will have gained that experience that employers are looking for twords high paying specialized positions.
Most of the time those experience requirements are there to see if you have held a job for a long period of time, and if you are worth investing in in terms of training. It is very expensive to mill through people, and reliability is worth its weight in gold.
Go apply for something, anything, entry level and stick with it. Bitching about not finding the job you WANT is less than non productive.

 

[The Repeated Meme]

Sucks to suck. Get good.

 

[We Are The Witches]

I appreciate all the responses.

Hey OP, you are a real dipshit.
Entry level positions abound in areas like manufacturing, construction, food service, the things that make society work. It may not be what you want, but start there and apply your skill set to an area that you want to eventually work in. In a couple of years you will have gained that experience that employers are looking for twords high paying specialized positions.
Most of the time those experience requirements are there to see if you have held a job for a long period of time, and if you are worth investing in in terms of training. It is very expensive to mill through people, and reliability is worth its weight in gold.
Go apply for something, anything, entry level and stick with it. Bitching about not finding the job you WANT is less than non productive.

That's what I'm saying though, to apply for all those things you just mentioned I need a year or sometimes years of experience. Or that's what they claim.

You want to work placing boxes from here to there? 2 years of experience please.