Opinion Everything wrong with the live-action Snow White can be summed up in one jacket - Rachel Zegler is in a Disney Princess movie… but no one else in Snow White is

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Everything wrong with the live-action Snow White can be summed up in one jacket​

I am pleased (?) to report that Snow White’s atrocious Party City dressisn’t actually the worst costume in Disney’s new live-action remake of its 1937 animated classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. That honor belongs to the outfit worn by Jonathan (Andrew Burnap), the new male lead, who’s more like Tangled’s Flynn Rider than like the original movie’s Prince Florian. For whatever reason, Jonathan sports what I can only describe as a jean-jacket-and-hoodie combination. Sure, it’s dyed a forest green in an attempt to make it fit into the movie’s fantasy vibes, but it doesn’t work at all.

I can’t stop thinking about this jean-jacket-and-hoodie combination, because it really speaks to my issues with the movie as a whole. Not only is Snow White’s costume and production design distractingly sloppy, but that particular outfit and character are so discordant with the movie’s tone and plotline that it undermines anything the movie might have going for it. Every character and subplot feels like it was brought in from a different movie. While each of them has some potential, they’re working against each other in one tangled mess of a movie.

[Ed. note: This review contains setup spoilers for the 2025 live-action Snow White.]
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The new Snow White comes from director Marc Webb (The Amazing Spider-Man), with a script from Secretary’s Erin Cressida Wilson and music by Dear Evan Hansen’s Benj Pasek and Justin Paul. Rachel Zegler (West Side Story, The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes) stars as Snow White, a perfectly pretty and sweet princess who’s been working as a maid in the castle since her evil stepmother (Gal Gadot) became queen after her father’s disappearance. A brief prologue shows us that once upon a time, Snow White’s parents ruled the land with kindness, baking apple pies for the common folk and dancing in the streets with them. But with the Evil Queen on the throne, people starve.

Snow White doesn’t really know anything about this, though, until she catches a thief in a bad hoodie (hi, Jonathan) stealing potatoes from the castle pantry. The Queen sentences Jonathan to be tied to the castle gates, but Snow White frees him from his public humiliation. When the Magic Mirror decrees that Snow has surpassed the Queen in beauty, the Queen sends a huntsman (Ansu Kabia) to kill the princess. Instead, he lets Snow White run away into the woods. There, she stumbles upon a quaint little cottage where a family of seven uncanny-looking CGI dwarves live.
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In this version of the familiar fairy tale, instead of staying in the cottage, Snow White insists on leaving so she doesn’t bring danger to the dwarves. Then she stumbles across Jonathan and his band of merry men in the forest. She learns more about what’s been going on in the kingdom and realizes she needs to do something about it. Meanwhile, Jonathan is so inspired by her sweet heart and goodness that he decides he’s done with only thieving for himself and his friends, and he needs to take a stand. Oh, also, they meet up with the dwarves again.

Adding more plot to Snow White isn’t an inherently bad idea — let’s be honest, this is a pretty simplistic story. But the problem with Webb’s movie is that nothing feels tonally cohesive. Each character comes from a completely different genre, and they’re all patchwork creations, as if the writer, actor, musicians, and costume designers were each given different notes about each character’s identity.

Gadot is acting like she’s the Big Bad in a dark fantasy movie, but she’s given a ridiculously campy patter song that would soar if someone with any comedic chops at all performed it. She performs so stiffly and seriously that the darker moments of her character feel on the verge of being comically over the top, though they never quite get there. Instead, she’s in a weird limbo: The Queen never feels like a serious character or a comedic one. Her costume design also contradicts itself. Her steep stained-glass crown is gorgeous and intimidating, but her gowns look like they’re made out of those sequins that turn different colors when you rub your hand against the grain, and she sports jeweled rings that resemble Ring Pops.
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Meanwhile, Burnap’s Jonathan is right out of a self-aware off-Broadway musical circa 2013, with his little anachronistic outfit and the quippy asides he mutters to himself. His big song is called “Princess Problems,” and he rags on Snow White for wanting to solve the kingdom’s oppression with the power of apple pies. His gang of bandits has a similar energy, which wouldn’t be out of place in something purposefully anachronistic, like Ella Enchanted. But as it stands, they’re just jarringly out of place with the movie’s other elements.

Zegler is the only one acting like she’s in a Disney Princess movie. She’s in a genre where the leading lady has such a pure and true heart that she can win over anyone just by remembering their name, batting her big eyes at them, and extending a hand of kindness. This isn’t a bad thing at all — the 2015 Cinderellaand the 1997 made-for-TV Cinderella similarly evoked those sincere fairy-tale vibes with great success.

Even though the dwarves look frankly disturbing (yes, movie textures have gone too far), Zegler’s take on Snow White works best when she’s with them. Her big “I Want” song is generic, but she sings with so much heart that I couldn’t help but be swept away a little. But when she’s wearing a cheap-looking dress with a necklace that looks like it came off the Claire’s sales rack, and juxtaposed with Jonathan’s snarky “Excuse me, princess” attitude and whatever the hell Gadot is doing, all the power of her performance is sapped.
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This new Snow White movie has been catching a lot of flak for a lot of different reasons. People were mad that Zegler (who is half-white) isn’t white enough. People were mad that she said the 1937 movie is dated. People were mad when Disney said the movie wouldn’t include the dwarves; people were mad when Disney said it would include the dwarves. And haven’t we had enough live-action remakes? Conceptually, this movie was doomed from the start. It was never going to please everyone, because everyone had a different idea of what the heck it should be.

But it seems like the filmmakers also had no idea what the movie should be. Instead of sticking to any one clear vision, the new Snow White has dozens of half-baked ideas that couldbe good, or at least cohesive. But they never rise to anything beyond flimsy concepts, seemingly tacked on to appeal to radically different quadrants of the intended audience.

In the prologue, Snow White’s father gives her a necklace with the words “Fearless, Fair, Brave, True” stamped across it. That sentiment might seem sweet if Disney hadn’t already pulled the same “assign a princess some adjectives” with its live-action Cinderella (“have courage and be kind”) and its Mulan remake. (“Loyal, brave, and true” — they couldn’t even come up with new adjectives for Snow!) The moment is a flimsy attempt to hammer heart into a story.And with its distractingly clunky chain and default font settings, the necklace doesn’t even look good. Snow White is supposed to be a story about how inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, but honestly, this movie has neither.
 
Sounds like it's using up a spare Star Wars plot they had laying around. Replace any instances of the word robot with dwarf, sit back and wait for the money. It's not as if the original film was that brilliant. It's the sort of thing you appreciate more as an adult for all the hours of craftmanship, but the kid me was bored witless whenever the dwarves went off-screen.
Yeah but that's because you were already made retarded by seed oils and other media

The movie doesn't work because they refuse to do alot of things associated politically with the original story:

1) Snow White here has to be the "princess" of a star wars style democracy kingdom where all is shared equally.
2) It can't be a love story and the love interest can't be a prince. He has be a revolutionary fighter trying to liberate the kingdom who she develops ambiguous affection for because of the revolution.
3) She can't clean up the house of the dwarfs. She has to be big boss-pants bitch and order the dwarfs to clean up after themselves.
4) The queen can't be older than snow white. They have to be the same age because no ageism.
5) It can't be a joint effort to remove the evil queen. Every single thing that happens has to be initiated by Snow White.
6) The presence of the dwarfs in any form is rather troubling politically.
7) The "rape kiss" of Snow White to make her wake up is also a very problematical part of the story. You can see in this movie that the kiss was added very late in production and was not originally intended to be there.

The core problem is that current disney utterly despises Walt Disney and all his creations.
So they just tried to make snow white a man. Which is what they always want to do. Make female characters into men
 
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7) The "rape kiss" of Snow White to make her wake up is also a very problematical part of the story. You can see in this movie that the kiss was added very late in production and was not originally intended to be there.

There’s a magical wakeup kiss in the new movie after all? After she made that big stupid deal in the interview before, about how “She DOES NOT GET SAVED by the prince”? Wow, I hope that gets rubbed in her face like a dog that pissed on the carpet.
 
There’s a magical wakeup kiss in the new movie after all? After she made that big stupid deal in the interview before, about how “She DOES NOT GET SAVED by the prince”? Wow, I hope that gets rubbed in her face like a dog that pissed on the carpet.

He isn't a prince in the movie. He a noble outlaw and revolutionary so the kiss can no doubt be seen as a revolutionary act of defiance on her part and its ok because she isn't saved by a prince. You can also kind of see in the movie that the kiss was a very late addition in the reshooting process.
 
I think the big problem was that the Mouse ended up making this movie twice.

They made the woke crazy progressive gurl power I dona need no Prince movie that was talked about first but then after the backlash from the leaks the number crunchers had second thoughts and order re-shoots and the unholy horror that was the CGI dwarfs to try to appease the more typical audience of a Disney movie then they tried to smush the two very different movie scripts together into the abomination that made it to the theatres where nothing made sense and all most all of the first draft was cut to the point the "dwarfs" seen in the leaks only appear for like 3 mins and have no line and then you have them trying to shoehorn in the romance with the Prince that was never written in and comes off as very blah.

So yah, the Mouse got spooked by the massive negative feedback and then spent a tonne of money trying to reshape it rather then just let it go and flop where it when and cost 150 million more and still flopped.

Lesson? Woke shit still doesn't sell. Even 10 years later people don't want this slop no matter how hard you try to ram it down their throats. It's almost like American's don't like being talked down too and scolded for their skin color by Hollywood. Huh...go figure.
 
There was a live action Snow White movie where the dwarves weren't really dwarves. They were just short guys. They were also going to rape snow white. While she was passed out of course. It was pretty metal.

Imagine snow white waking up in the middle of the forest feeling violated cause the "dwarves" fucked her and dumped her off back in the woods. LOL
 
The core problem is that current disney utterly despises Walt Disney and all his creations.
Because current Disney is run by kikes, and Walt haaaated him some kikes. Which just lends further credence to my theory that "modern" Disney is being intentionally run into the ground as an act of petty revenge by a tribe of neurotic rats known for engaging in petty revenge at every opportunity.


Imagine snow white waking up in the middle of the forest feeling violated cause the "dwarves" fucked her and dumped her off back in the woods. LOL
IIRC, in the original folk tale version of Sleeping Beauty, she's not woken by a prince's kiss. She's discovered by a king who isn't aware of her condition, rapes her in her sleep, then 9 months later she gives birth to twins, and it's the crying of her children that wakes her.
 
Was the copyright in danger of expiring on the dwarves or Snow Whites name? This reminds me of why we keep getting Fantastic Four and Spiderman movies, to keep the IP in or out of certain people's hands. Make something NEW or "bad" people get to use our characters, REEEEEEE
 
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Why can't they just put the old one in the cinema and just put together a shitty trailer that goes "REVIVE THE GOLDEN CLASSICS" or some shit like that?
Because...

The core problem is that current disney utterly despises Walt Disney and all his creations.

The original doesn't have the "right messages" for the audience. Further, the audience needs to "see themselves" in the film, instead of understanding that not all stories have to be about them. Which...if the box office is any indication, the audiences know that. It's just the Hollywood knob-heads think the audience is just like them.
 
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