F.A.Q. - Phil Phacts

[autisticdragonkin]

needs something explaining how he was sometimes called ADF-Fuensalida

 

[The Crazy Macer]

Ahuvuya sounds a lot like Hooves, it also helps that his front teeth look like they have been stolen from Mr.Ed

Ahuviya sounds sort of hoove-y, and he's derpy, so he used to get called Derpy Huves sometimes, but now just gets called Hooves mainly.

I always just assumed it was because he's a beast.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Thanks. Too bad something this easy to read wasn't composed for Jace.

 

[Mogambo]

Has he been in any relationships?

Yes he has. Phil previously dated Maria Pupo, a woman who had the pleasure of getting beat up by him in a bookstore. He was also briefly engaged to our own @tweaker the cat. Phil has shown an interest in underage women, as well as men that pay him attention and seem dominate. He has not let personal boundaries or disinterest stop him in pursuing those he lusts after.

AND

Is Phil really Hispanic? Can he speak Spanish?

No, and no. Phil is predominately Italian. His decision to be Latino started from an obsession with Jennifer Lopez and bloomed as he learned that oppression equals attention.

It's stuff like this that makes me believe Phil is a straight male who (for whatever reason) want's to be seen as gay. Maybe he thinks it makes him 'cute' like some sort of Hetalia character. Maybe it's just for attention. Still his obsession with Corrie and Jennifer Lopez kind of creeps me out.

Incidentally, I'm guessing Jennifer Lopez is the reason Phil chooses to identify as "Puerto Rican," as it seems a rather odd country to choose at random. It is rather amusing though since I'd hazard to guess there are more Puerto Ricans who want to identify as "Taíno" than Spanish, especially amongst the radical fringes that Phil wants to associate himself with. He also seems oddly aware and open about not being Latino at times, as if even his asspatters acknowledge its all fake.

In no particular order: Naruto, name changes, cosplay, Dusty, Corrie, communism (Mao is particular), Axis Powers Hetalia, bondage, yaoi, transgenderism, "transmisogyny" (his term for transphobia, and a way of appropriating feminist rhetoric for his own use), Hispanic culture, road signs, his fake country, tattoos, the term "gas lighting", bicycles, bicycle locks used as a weapon in relation to violent Hispanic feminism (oddly specific, but he has several posts and tattoos about it), blaming cis/white people, and most recently shoving things up his ass.

Is he still interested in all of these, or has he abandonned some of them much like he renounced his faux Jewish identity? I know he was apparently obsessed with yaoi, Hetalia and Naruto, but is he still?

It may be worth mentioning that ADF considers us of Hispanic heritage on the Farms to be "token hispanic friends," although it's not really essential to the list as I see it.

I wonder what he thinks of us Desis? Are we his token brown enemies? I doubt he could even find us on a map.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I wonder what he thinks of us Desis?

ADF probably doesn't think much of anyone who isn't ADF.

 

[EI 903]

Stickied. Good work, @Smutley

I wish every major lolcow had a thread like this.

 

[Axiom]

It's stuff like this that makes me believe Phil is a straight male who (for whatever reason) want's to be seen as gay. Maybe he thinks it makes him 'cute' like some sort of Hetalia character. Maybe it's just for attention. Still his obsession with Corrie and Jennifer Lopez kind of creeps me out.

Personally, I think ADF doesn't really have a sexuality. Not really. Like Chris, I think he's too developmentally delayed and mentally handicapped to have one. Like Chris, he just latches onto whatever sexuality and label he feels will make him fit in best with the group he's in. He really just wants asspats and he wants his chosen group to identify with him. But he's never had a sexual identity that wasn't ripped wholesale from porn or yaoi fanfiction. And, again like Chris, he goes way overboard with trying to APPEAR to be a very sexual person just to convince others.

When Chris was creepy on his various gal pals and tried to be too sexual and drew awful homemade porn, it was because in his head, that's what True and Honest Straight Men do and he wanted to be perceived as one. When ADF chased after Dusty and Corrie, when he walks around in bondage gear, even when he tries to blackmail Jordan into sticking ginger up his ass, it's because that's chat he thinks trans-lesbian bondage enthusiasts are all into and he really wants people to believe that he is one.

But he isn't. He's not anything. He's just a little boy playing dressup.

 

[*Asterisk*]

Stickied. Good work, @Smutley

I wish every major lolcow had a thread like this.

I take it the same won't go for my "Random Questions" thread?

 

[Big Nasty]

Personally, I think ADF doesn't really have a sexuality.

Yeah, Phil's so-called sexuality is apparently all about restraints and sticking stuff up butts.

There needs to be a section that explains that Phil isn't a "Sex Worker" as he claims to be, since his idea of sex work is being a "professional submissive" and that latina lesbians will somehow pay money to restrain him.

Also: He had a phase where he called himself "Felipe Vicente Delicias" before the "Ahuviya" phase.

 

[*Asterisk*]

There needs to be a section that explains that Phil isn't a "Sex Worker" as he claims to be, since his idea of sex work is being a "professional submissive" and that latina lesbians will somehow pay money to restrain him.

Phil could earn some extra cash if he had people pay to beat him up, but I don't think his "no darkies" policy will go over too well in that field.

 

[Pillow]

a "professional submissive"

To be fair, these are a thing in many parts of the world, including my country. There are experienced ladies who are specialized in various fetishes and use it as a way to make money, and they may earn a lot. You can compare it to adult entertainment actors, except they get payed for playing silly games with rich middle-aged men. They make their rules, taboos, prices and they have fun on the job.

But that's nothing to compare to drug addicted hookers you were talking about, so sorry for getting OT.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Are people exaggerating when they say Phil hates X?

Actually, usually not. Phil is a known racist, and has publicly admitted to hating Jews. He hates all men, and also anyone who is not transsexual, along with transsexuals who are truscum, and also anyone who is white. He also hates people who are wealthy, or people who aren't communists, or people who are Christian, or people who won't give him free things.

He also hates trans men.

 

[Weeping With Pity]

@Smutley Just woke up, so this will probably need some editing, but... could we add something like:

Did Phil really shit himself? / Has Phil ever shown interest in a man?

The turning point of his friendship with /pursuit of Dusty came when the latter invited him over to hang out, because he felt bad that Phil was an isolated little reject who was frequently bullied. Dusty's kindness was repaid with a lack of respect for boundaries and consent, to the point where his (in Phil's words) "five dollar foot long" was grabbed. Dusty was saved from either sexual assault or having to beat up an autistic manchild when Phil's excitement at touching a real penis caused him to lose bowel control. In what could only be a bid for sainthood, Dusty did not throw him out and make him walk home, but took the sobbing mass begging for mercy and threw him in the shower. This apparently traumatized Phil so much that he can no longer shower or... "wipe"... without bring triggered.

 

[Spooky_Scary]

AND

Is he still interested in all of these, or has he abandonned some of them much like he renounced his faux Jewish identity? I know he was apparently obsessed with yaoi, Hetalia and Naruto, but is he still?

I can't find the FB post but he recently did this "Timeline" of his "struggle and when he got to his weeaboo phase he looked back at it in utter disgust. He sperged on about how horrible anime was and that the only good thing to come of that era was his Sasuke assassinating John McCain doodle. I'd be willing to wager that he dropped whatever remaining interest in anime he had after leaving Occupy.

 

[Smutley]

He also hates trans men.

@Smutley Just woke up, so this will probably need some editing, but... could we add something like:

Did Phil really shit himself? / Has Phil ever shown interest in a man?

The turning point of his friendship with /pursuit of Dusty came when the latter invited him over to hang out, because he felt bad that Phil was an isolated little reject who was frequently bullied. Dusty's kindness was repaid with a lack of respect for boundaries and consent, to the point where his (in Phil's words) "five dollar foot long" was grabbed. Dusty was saved from either sexual assault or having to beat up an autistic manchild when Phil's excitement at touching a real penis caused him to lose bowel control. In what could only be a bid for sainthood, Dusty did not throw him out and make him walk home, but took the sobbing mass begging for mercy and threw him in the shower. This apparently traumatized Phil so much that he can no longer shower or... "wipe"... without bring triggered.

Done, and done. I hope you don't mind if I tweaked your write up Weeping With Pity to make it fit more in line with the original tone.

 

[Sczylak Madgar]

Here, I wrote this.

What's up with Phil and communism?

Phil claims to be a Maoist. However, it's quite clear that, like most people who feverishly support Mao, he doesn't grasp even the basics of Marxism, let alone Maoism. Phil's Maoism seems to be more of an attention-seeking stunt (&/or being attracted to the prospect of killing dissenters) rather than any serious intellectual choice, especially considering that Phil thinks that Mao-era China was some sort of haven to LGBT individuals filled with happiness and prosperity instead of the poverty-stricken, famine-addled hellhole it's throughly documented to be.

EDIT: Senpai has noticed me! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *

 

[Weeping With Pity]

Done, and done. I hope you don't mind if I tweaked your write up Weeping With Pity to make it fit more in line with the original tone.

Perfectly fair. I was half awake, and my emotions creep in when I discuss that particular incident.

 

[*Asterisk*]

Here, I wrote this.

What's up with Phil and communism?

Phil claims to be a Maoist. However, it's quite clear that, like most people who feverishly support Mao, he doesn't grasp even the basics of Marxism, let alone Maoism. Phil's Maoism seems to be more of an attention-seeking stunt (&/or being attracted to the prospect of killing dissenters) rather than any serious intellectual choice, especially considering that Phil thinks that Mao-era China was some sort of haven to LGBT individuals filled with happiness and prosperity instead of the poverty-stricken, famine-addled hellhole it's throughly documented to be.

Not to mention that Mao and Stalin and really most communist regimes and members in general despise the sexually abnormal or deviant, seeing such behaviors as a hallmark of the soulless bourgeoisie.

Phil's always had a knack for ignoring facts inconvenient to whatever stupid idea he has or misinterprets.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Here, I wrote this.

What's up with Phil and communism?

Phil claims to be a Maoist. However, it's quite clear that, like most people who feverishly support Mao, he doesn't grasp even the basics of Marxism, let alone Maoism. Phil's Maoism seems to be more of an attention-seeking stunt (&/or being attracted to the prospect of killing dissenters) rather than any serious intellectual choice, especially considering that Phil thinks that Mao-era China was some sort of haven to LGBT individuals filled with happiness and prosperity instead of the poverty-stricken, famine-addled hellhole it's throughly documented to be.

EDIT: Senpai has noticed me! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *

His obsession with China is also influenced by his obsession with Hetalia

 

[*Asterisk*]

His obsession with China is also influenced by his obsession with Hetalia

All the more reason why Hetalia's the worst anime in the entire world!