Facebook status 06 AUG 2013

[Marvin]

I'm fairly certain that whatever decency existed in how they treated Patti was entirely due to Bob. He probably had to yell at Chris repeatedly to let the dog out, let the dog in, take her for walks, play with her; he was probably the only one that tried to discipline her if she got rowdy or nippy, so on. Bob was the only one who even attempted to give a shit about things in that house.

Yeah, Clover and Snoopy are probably something pretty close to stuffed animals (that you have to feed and take care of their poo *stress sigh*) to Chris and Barb right now. Heh, hell, Barb's too lazy to do either of those things, so she has Chris do it. And he kills two birds with one stone by getting the newspaper and getting some q-sands at mcdonalds. God, how often do they feed the dogs salty q-sand patties, I wonder.

Kinda off topic: I just thought of something: I've always laughed at Chris being a dumbass when he abbreviates mcdonalds as "mcd," but that actually could be him fucking up "mickey dees." And that is something people use to refer to mcdonalds. Or around here, at least.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Just asking though: Does Chris treat Clover & Snoopy the same way as Patti?

Heh, well, if he did, they would be a lot better off. I don't remember too much about how they treated Patti. I think they just left her outside and fed her? That's probably the equivalent of what they do for Clover and Snoopy, just indoors. But yeah, doing the same thing, outdoors would be a lot better. Not ideal, but a lot better than what they're doing now.

Do you know how Chris feels about the dogs? Is he still all super stoked or are they more of an annoyance to him now?

 

[Marvin]

Just asking though: Does Chris treat Clover & Snoopy the same way as Patti?

Heh, well, if he did, they would be a lot better off. I don't remember too much about how they treated Patti. I think they just left her outside and fed her? That's probably the equivalent of what they do for Clover and Snoopy, just indoors. But yeah, doing the same thing, outdoors would be a lot better. Not ideal, but a lot better than what they're doing now.

Do you know how Chris feels about the dogs? Is he still all super stoked or are they more of an annoyance to him now?

He never talks about them, so I don't know. They're probably comparable to Barb in that he is annoyed by having to take care of them, but he still ultimately loves them. Or, rather, he finds them cute. Right now, that's probably their main value to him.

 

[Donald Duck]

Just asking though: Does Chris treat Clover & Snoopy the same way as Patti?

Heh, well, if he did, they would be a lot better off. I don't remember too much about how they treated Patti. I think they just left her outside and fed her? That's probably the equivalent of what they do for Clover and Snoopy, just indoors. But yeah, doing the same thing, outdoors would be a lot better. Not ideal, but a lot better than what they're doing now.

Do you know how Chris feels about the dogs? Is he still all super stoked or are they more of an annoyance to him now?

I always get the feeling that he treats the dogs like a child does with a new toy. They'll be all excited about getting it and will play with it constantly for about a week or two and then put it aside and forget about it. Occasionally they'll see it lying around and go "Oh yeah, that!" and play with it again for a short while and then forget it again, rinse, repeat, until it's either broken, stolen, or thrown away. Of course Chris would have to feed them, but that just amounts to him leaving food and water in a tray. I doubt he does much more then that to "care" for them.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Those poor dogs. Thought of as nothing more than walking dolls entrapped in a hoard and crumbling foundation, with a old emaciated and a big, fat,ugly hair Chris pacing around playing with Legos and whining that no girl comes to his home.

And the smells in that mess. The smells! Poor Clover & Snoopy probably think the house is haunted by now and are expecting to see iridescent, pink, glowing spheres any day now.

Well, those two dogs are actually luckier than Chris, at this point. They have one thing Chris doesn't have - each other.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Well, those two dogs are actually luckier than Chris, at this point. They have one thing Chris doesn't have - each other.

Won't last long. Selfishness is endemic in this branch of the Chandler/Weston trees.

 

[Thetan]

Just asking though: Does Chris treat Clover & Snoopy the same way as Patti?

As long as he doesn't start entertaining any ideas that involve a jar of peanut butter.

Just asking though: Does Chris treat Clover & Snoopy the same way as Patti?

Heh, well, if he did, they would be a lot better off. I don't remember too much about how they treated Patti. I think they just left her outside and fed her? That's probably the equivalent of what they do for Clover and Snoopy, just indoors. But yeah, doing the same thing, outdoors would be a lot better. Not ideal, but a lot better than what they're doing now.

The last time we saw a picture of Patti's dog run (around the time of the infamous house tour if memory serves) it looked serviceable - if a bit overgrown with weeds and long grass. A few hours outside in it, even if its in less than optimal condition, would still be better than being cooped up in the fetid shithole with Chris and Barb.

Taking them out for walkies would do his fat ass some good as well.

 

[Holdek]

Heh, well, if he did, they would be a lot better off. I don't remember too much about how they treated Patti. I think they just left her outside and fed her? That's probably the equivalent of what they do for Clover and Snoopy, just indoors. But yeah, doing the same thing, outdoors would be a lot better. Not ideal, but a lot better than what they're doing now.

Do you know how Chris feels about the dogs? Is he still all super stoked or are they more of an annoyance to him now?

He never talks about them, so I don't know. They're probably comparable to Barb in that he is annoyed by having to take care of them, but he still ultimately loves them. Or, rather, he finds them cute. Right now, that's probably their main value to him.

He also probably finds 14 B-Land more tolerable with him, Clover, Snoopy, and Snorlax, as opposed to just him and Snorlax.

Just asking though: Does Chris treat Clover & Snoopy the same way as Patti?

As long as he doesn't start entertaining any ideas that involve a jar of peanut butter.

Wait, what?

 

[pickleniggo]

Fuck's sake, how hard is it to let the dogs out of the house? Godbear dammit Chris.
Also, lol @ seeing messages in dog piss. It's like even Clover and Snoopy are trolling him.

 

[HealthyMcWrap]

I want the white knights to come out in full force for this update.

"Way to go Chris!!! You are so creative when you look at urine!!!"

"Great job having your dogs still pee on newspaper after a year!!!"

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I still don't think I see how this puddle is in the shape of a female...

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

Next thing we see is Chris talking about how their dog's diarrhea is shaped like a woman. I think he's just as more desperate as ever trying to find blank clues that seems to tell him that a woman will come to him.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I still don't think I see how this puddle is in the shape of a female...

I traced it over in the other thread:

Spoiler

 

[Trombonista]

I thought the urine stain looked like Sandy Rosechu.

Also, Chris constantly wants to get out of the house and away from Barb, but he can't be bothered to housebreak and walk the dogs, which would actually get him out of the house and away from Barb. And he wonders why things aren't going his way.

 

[Rio]

I still don't think I see how this puddle is in the shape of a female...

At this point, Chris is one of those types of people that see Jesus wherever they can vaguely make out a shape, like those people that say Jesus appeared in their coffee mug and stuff like that, except instead of Jesus, Chris sees his sweetheart.

 

[random_pickle]

To me it kind of looks like a clown with an afro. Damn Chris, you're getting delusional here.

Spoiler

Reminds me of one time when I cleaned up my lizard's shit. The stain left behind resembled a penis, balls, tip and all.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

I still don't think I see how this puddle is in the shape of a female...

Chris isn't one of those people who...you know...knows what things look like, though.

 

[Hasharin]

Also, Chris constantly wants to get out of the house and away from Barb, but he can't be bothered to housebreak and walk the dogs, which would actually get him out of the house and away from Barb. And he wonders why things aren't going his way.

To be fair, it's possible that when Chris thought for a moment about taking them for a walk, Barb immediately stopped him: Chrisshun! Ye ain't goin' anywherr! Mamma's butts arrr in trouble again, I think a new hole opened! Go get da duct tape!

 

[LordCustos3]

Just asking though: Does Chris treat Clover & Snoopy the same way as Patti?

Do you mean does he create cartoon versions of them to populate his fantasy mindscape?

I have no idea. Ask Marvin. That seems to be his lookout.

 

[CatParty]

Just asking though: Does Chris treat Clover & Snoopy the same way as Patti?

Do you mean does he create cartoon versions of them to populate his fantasy mindscape?

I have no idea. Ask Marvin. That seems to be his lookout.

They aren't dead yet.