Facebook Update 2013-05-19

[cubesandcubes]

Spoiler

Satire

Dear Mr. Chandler,

You have brought me back from the dead by the sheer brilliance of your innovation. Please come to our new headquarters in Cupertino to pick up your cheque for a million dollars.

Sincerely,
Steve Jobs

 

[snowkitten91]

Spoiler

Satire

Dear Mr. Chandler,

You have brought me back from the dead by the sheer brilliance of your innovation. Please come to our new headquarters in Cupertino to pick up your cheque for a million dollars.

Sincerely,
Steve Jobs

Does that include the travel expenses? Remember that Chris already spent all of his money on your awesome products and, therefore, wouldn't be able to cover the costs of such a long trip from Virginia to California and back.

 

[cubesandcubes]

Spoiler

Satire

Dear Mr. Chandler,

You have brought me back from the dead by the sheer brilliance of your innovation. Please come to our new headquarters in Cupertino to pick up your cheque for a million dollars.

Sincerely,
Steve Jobs

Does that include the travel expenses? Remember that Chris already spent all of his money on your awesome products and, therefore, wouldn't be able to cover the costs of such a long trip from Virginia to California and back.

No. We have a cashier who pays all of the non-employee 3rd party innovators we routinely contact via email and cut massive cheques to.

 

[Holdek]

No trolling plans, please. Carry on now...

The sad thing is, at least if Jobs was still there, I could see the real Apple actually sending Chris a cease-and-desist letter. (Half-kidding.)

 

[WWWWolf]

^ I hope the local mcdonalds has an excellent therapist on hand

Last item in McDonalds menu: "Psychotherapy from Dr. Ronald McDonald: ONLY $14/hour. (Note: Not for people afflicted with coulrophobia. He can heal anything but that. It's the costume, you see. We've also noted it sort of triggers that sort of phobias so that's why this is so cheap.)"

So, duct tape is the new "Crayola fuckin' Model Magic" now? What's next? A duct tape Sonichu medallion?

Hah, what if he slowly realises that digging Sonic is so last decade, and moves on to Mythbusters fandom? He'll start writing fanfics about how he's a mythbuster. And puts duct tape in everything.

...I know, when I wrote it that way, it doesn't make any sense, but this is Chris we're talking about.

Given his taste for cutesy and self-derived abbreviations like the recent "q-sand," it also surprised me that he referred to it as "the Post," not "WaPo."

No, he would have abbreviated it as "W.P." Periods. Periods everywhere. It's not a proper Chris abbrevation unless it's hard to read.

You have brought me back from the dead by the sheer brilliance of your innovation. Please come to our new headquarters in Cupertino to pick up your cheque for a million dollars.

Sincerely,
Steve Jobs

Ohhh, this is an evil trolling plan. Chris arrives to Apple campus, notes the address is "1 Infinite Loop", and keeps driving in circles until his car breaks down.

 

[Holdek]

Spoiler

Satire

Dear Mr. Chandler,

You have brought me back from the dead by the sheer brilliance of your innovation. Please come to our new headquarters in Cupertino to pick up your cheque for a million dollars.

Sincerely,
Steve Jobs

Nah...Jobs would just steal the idea and claim it as his own. Like Xerox Star.

 

[OR 345]

You have brought me back from the dead by the sheer brilliance of your innovation. Please come to our new headquarters in Cupertino to pick up your cheque for a million dollars.

Sincerely,
Steve Jobs

Ohhh, this is an evil trolling plan. Chris arrives to Apple campus, notes the address is "1 Infinite Loop", and keeps driving in circles until his car breaks down.

Nah, he'd get locked out of his car somewhere in Tennessee and run out of money for tolls shortly after. He'd attempt to raise money by selling TRUE and ORIGINAL drawings until one particularly impatient couple, sick of hearing how important it was that he got his iDea book to California, pay the toll. By the time the police find and return him to Ruckersville, Barb would have changed the locks. The car never makes it.

 

[CatParty]

keeps driving in circles until his car breaks down.

so about 25 miles from the front yard (car beginning point)

 

[POWER]

Somehow I can imagine Chris hating on Android phones, much like the HEXBAWKS and people with Aspergers.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

The sad thing is, at least if Jobs was still there, I could see the real Apple actually sending Chris a cease-and-desist letter. (Half-kidding.)

At which point Chris would declare Jobs to be a troll, and immediately summon Rob Bell to sue Apple and obtain for Chris a controlling share of its stock.

Given his taste for cutesy and self-derived abbreviations like the recent "q-sand," it also surprised me that he referred to it as "the Post," not "WaPo."

No, he would have abbreviated it as "W.P." Periods. Periods everywhere. It's not a proper Chris abbrevation unless it's hard to read.

I'm surprised he hasn't already started abbreviating his iDea book case as "I.D. B-Case" or some idiotic shit.

 

[Trombonista]

I just realized why he used the term "iDea". See, the full name of the doohickey is "Christian W. Chandler's iDea Book Case". He wants everyone to know it was his idea.

He might as well have named it "ORIGINAL CASE, DO NOT STEAL".

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

^Well, unless he registers the trademark with the Virginia Library of Congress, Apple could use it without owing him one red cent.

 

[PyonPyon]

I was surfing the Cwcki and checked out Chris's Ebay page out of the blue. Looks like he sold the cracked iPod for $100. Why in the world would anyone pay that much for something that was wrecked by Chris? Excuse me if this was already mentioned.

I find it fairly amusing that he used the same newspaper article in the photo.

Here's the listing: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Apple-iPod-...D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

 

[CatParty]

I was surfing the Cwcki and checked out Chris's Ebay page out of the blue. Looks like he sold the cracked iPod for $100. Why in the world would anyone pay that much for something that was wrecked by Chris? Excuse me if this was already mentioned.

I find it fairly amusing that he used the same newspaper article in the photo.

Here's the listing: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Apple-iPod-...D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

not to mention covered in the rash inducing sludge that emits from his pores. also it was really close to his mouth. that poor ebay buyer...

 

[Null]

Why in the world would anyone pay that much for something that was wrecked by Chris?

Its hard drive.

 

[harvey dirdban]

I was surfing the Cwcki and checked out Chris's Ebay page out of the blue. Looks like he sold the cracked iPod for $100. Why in the world would anyone pay that much for something that was wrecked by Chris? Excuse me if this was already mentioned.

I find it fairly amusing that he used the same newspaper article in the photo.

Here's the listing: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Apple-iPod-...D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

Comes with earbuds. That have been in Chris' ears.

 

[CWCissey]

I was surfing the Cwcki and checked out Chris's Ebay page out of the blue. Looks like he sold the cracked iPod for $100. Why in the world would anyone pay that much for something that was wrecked by Chris? Excuse me if this was already mentioned.

I find it fairly amusing that he used the same newspaper article in the photo.

Here's the listing: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Apple-iPod-...D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

Comes with earbuds. That have been in Chris' ears.

In the interest of public safety I advise we inform the poor eBay buyer about his purchase.

Unless he already knows who the owner was that is...

 

[Chairman Meow]

I was surfing the Cwcki and checked out Chris's Ebay page out of the blue. Looks like he sold the cracked iPod for $100. Why in the world would anyone pay that much for something that was wrecked by Chris? Excuse me if this was already mentioned.

I find it fairly amusing that he used the same newspaper article in the photo.

Here's the listing: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Apple-iPod-...D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

Comes with earbuds. That have been in Chris' ears.

Don't forget it also comes with a

hard shell Skylanders Giants case

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I was surfing the Cwcki and checked out Chris's Ebay page out of the blue. Looks like he sold the cracked iPod for $100. Why in the world would anyone pay that much for something that was wrecked by Chris? Excuse me if this was already mentioned.

I find it fairly amusing that he used the same newspaper article in the photo.

Here's the listing: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Apple-iPod-...D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

not to mention covered in the rash inducing sludge that emits from his pores. also it was really close to his mouth. that poor ebay buyer...

Actually broken electronics on eBay aren't that unusual. Sold for parts usually. I do love his use of "gently used" with a picture of it's destroyed screen though.

EDIT- Upon further research it looked like the guy overpaid a bit. I found another, less cracked iPod (same gen and storage space) for $72. Also it looks like there are services to fix the iPod screen for $35ish. God I hope Chris doesn't go out and buy a new one automatically. Yeah, he probably will.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

I was surfing the Cwcki and checked out Chris's Ebay page out of the blue. Looks like he sold the cracked iPod for $100. Why in the world would anyone pay that much for something that was wrecked by Chris? Excuse me if this was already mentioned.

I find it fairly amusing that he used the same newspaper article in the photo.

Here's the listing: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Apple-iPod-...D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

not to mention covered in the rash inducing sludge that emits from his pores. also it was really close to his mouth. that poor ebay buyer...

Actually broken electronics on eBay aren't that unusual. Sold for parts usually. I do love his use of "gently used" with a picture of it's destroyed screen though.

EDIT- Upon further research it looked like the guy overpaid a bit. I found another, less cracked iPod (same gen and storage space) for $72. Also it looks like there are services to fix the iPod screen for $35ish. God I hope Chris doesn't go out and buy a new one automatically. Yeah, he probably will.

I was curious and looked at the iPod touches at target yesterday, because I forgot how much they were. --- $195!!!!!