- Joined
- Sep 9, 2021
Another long one for the archives. Bring a drink and some food - maybe some extra water or a Fanta if you get thirsty. This is a three-part series in two chapters, and the author is rather proud of it. Let's have a look, shall we? The author was kind enough to list what kind of sex acts occur in each part, so for this section, it won't be anything major. That will come in Chapter 2.
> Jayce and Viktor don't celebrate dumb things
Suuuure they don't. They don't celebrate 'dumb things', they just fuck a lot because all that floating sperm aka pollen is messing with their hormones and making them horny.
> His dick wants to jump out of his pants and rub against Viktor's parted lips
OK, place your bets: how big do you think Jayce is in this one? 10 inches? Our legendary 12? Starting the pool now.
> A whole lot of sex. Like, a lot
Like? You want to be seen as a man, you can, like? Stop, like, writing like this?
> And that waist? Shit, he could spend a lifetime wrapping his hands around it - they fit so well he can touch his fingertips together
Yes, it's THIS FUCKING LINE. This line used in every single trans fic because we really need to highlight how fucking small his waist is. Do you want to know how many times this dumb bitch uses it? Three times. They can never seem to get how fucking repetitive it is.
> There's something in his eyes
> Something dirty. And dangerous
He was already ogling you and you already concluded he wanted sex. There's no point in drawing out something that's already made clear.
> All he thinks about is getting Viktor naked, spreading his legs, and wrecking him
Oh, are we gonna get the Hispanic Hog? Get your measuring tapes out.
> He's never experienced his sexuality this intensely
Of course not. He just needed a real man, a 6'0 Gigachad, to unlock his 'feminine wiles' - er, vagina owner wiles.
> Pressing into strategic spots - his waist, his hips
Both of which are uwu so smol.
> That's cliché even for you
I'll say.
> Spring doesn't affect human hormones in any way
It does, actually, particularly serotonin. You can tell this bitch did not do any research - and why would they for a trans smut fic?
> I like your pussy
Enough to write 10k words of him going down on it.
> It's not fair that Jayce can get him wet with just a handful of filthy words. But it'd be ridiculous to reduce it to that
That's exactly what it is: you, a female, are attracted to a hot male, and your body instinctively prepares itself to accept what he has on offer. You get wet at the tall, strong, muscular man because this is just your basic bitch female fantasy even if the author wants everyone to see this pooner as male. They cannot escape that female socialization.
> Hands big enough to wrap around Viktor's waist and ass at the same time
Yes, she wrote this fucking line AGAIN, and has made Jayce's hands so big he has reached Gorilla Puncher status. Who needs Chris Redfield when you've got this big boy?
> He honestly thought Viktor might be getting sick of his behaviour
I know I am.
> Something else gets bigger when I look at you
Fucking hell, that's cheesy. That's something a socially awkward teenage boy would say.
> Let me eat your pussy
Pretty sure I saw this in a badly acted porno somewhere.
> His pussy pulses and soaks itself
Like a sentient sponge.
> It's ridiculous
You got that right. You're a man's man, why on earth is your genitalia acting this way? It's almost as if biology is overpowering your logic and you just want to breed.
> God, his cock is a goddamn warhammer right now
Don't let Robert Baratheon find out.
> The secret key to getting Viktor to let him pull his pants down and fuck him until he screams his throat raw with orgasm
Easy. Talk to him like he's a horse and offer him oats, then you can use your horse cock on him.
> There's nothing in this world I enjoy more than walking around with your juices in my beard
Wait until it turns to summer, he'll have every mosquito and horse fly in that shit.
> spanish
That should be capitalized.
> Becoming a prison of muscle and bone around Viktor
These ladies love their muscle men. You cannot convince me they would not be BookTok authors in their spare time.
> I've been thinking about your pussy for hours, about making you come. Please, baby. Let me lick you
You might think this is sexy, but it's a major turn off for how BAD it sounds. Sure, in another context it can be hot. But it just sounds desperate and whiny. I've read similar lines from other authors and they can pull it off. Not here.
> He's a pile of firewood near open flames - just a matter of time before he catches fire
Redundant, as that's what firewood is for.
> Jayce's big, warm hands immediately claim his waist. Both of them let out a quiet gasp when they feel Viktor's body caught between them
Three times. Three times this accursed line has been uttered. I might crack a tooth if see it used any more.
> The chemistry between them is electric
And Jayce can plug up a transformer with those hands of his.
> Just as erratic as their heartbeats. And their hormones
I thought spring didn't affect human hormones.
> They're made for each other, and that's undeniable.
> When his hands fit Viktor's body like it was made just for him
Almost as if they have complementary bodies. Almost as if evolution made them that way for breeding purposes. Weird, huh?
> Vaginal lips
I assume this will be the only time I'll see 'vagina' in this. Also, the word you are looking for is 'labia'.
> Pleasing Viktor is always his top priority
We know. You said that already.
> Like a damn virgin teenager
Yeah, we know.
> His fingers stroke the dark curls already damp with slick
Here come the Rapunzel pubes! Always a staple.
> Compliments always made him feel vulnerable
Awww, look at that. The pooner doesn't want to admit they're beautiful
Give him a hug, would ya?
> Jayce is jealous as hell, even if he'll never admit it
He doesn't have to. Actions speak louder than words. He later admits it, anyways.
> Pissed off stray cat
I like to go with shit bull myself.
> Part pleasure, part pain
Cliché.
> Mine to kiss and make my wife until the end of days
Now, here I am told you never, EVER misgender a trans man. They HATE being referred to with any female title, and yet here we are. It's okay when THEY do it.
> Of all the men he could have fallen for, he chose the most territorial one
AKA you fell for the bad boy. Typical.
> The most handsome, the sexiest, the kindest, the sweetest, the most jealous
If he's 'the most jealous', that negates the kindness and sweetness. If you are kind and confident, you will know that your partner won't stray because they KNOW you are the best.
> His dick is about to explode in his pants
Like a hotdog in a microwave, eh?
> His hole wide open
I was right that 'vaginal lips' was the only time 'vagina' would ever be used.
> He loves eating pussy
You don't say.
> Brushing his lips over his beautiful pussy
All this obsession over how pretty his kitty is makes me think these authors have an absolute dungeon down there. It also gets repetitive real quick with how many times it's used.
The author just gave up editing halfway through the fic, I see.
> Viktor keeps insisting he go back to his pussy and take him to heaven
That's one hell of a line, and not a good one.
> I'm gonna make you come
> Jayce, make me come
*Insert Trump meme here*
> he doesn't want to see like a damn inexperienced virgin who can't control his body whenever Jayce touches or kisses him
Oh? You're saying your body is reacting to a hot, sexy guy? You don't say.
> Expose his sweet ambrosia
The cringe, it burns.
> Or the scratches he gave himself in his sleep
I detect some projection here.
> Viktor's hands are beautiful - slender pianist fingers
Unlike those boulder puncher hands. Those are a lady's hands.
> That big mouth can work magic
Why did I think of a grouper fish when I read that?
> It's so damn hot and stiff
Are we getting a belly bulge next chapter or nah?
> You have the prettiest cock in the world, my love
Is it thick and veiny, or...?
> Using Jayce's cock like a toy, grinding it against his pussy
I just thought of a hotdog going into a bike chain, for some reason.
This author really writes redundant statements. If you have a character say they are going to come, you don't need to write the other saying they're going to do the same - unless you want to ham it up with the sex talk or that character is KNOWN for that. Some authors can pull it off - I've seen it and enjoyed it - but this is just silly.
> Ribbons of cum land on Viktor's mound
Ah, glad we have the excessive semen production for this.
> He dips his fingers into the cum coating Viktor's dark curls and pushes them straight inside him
Watch him get pregnant, LMAO
> I'm going to be late to my appointment with the blacksmith
You ARE a blacksmith, homie.
Ekko only appears once and it's to give them cookies. Talk about a useless character. Get those damn darkies out of my slash!
> His pussy is throbbing for some strange, unknown reason
All that pollen is increasing his need to breed. I didn't think this was going to turn into an ABO fic.
> Lewd images keep flooding his mind like some damn cat in heat
So what you're saying is that you're a wild pussy HEYO
> Big, rough hands sliding down the curve of his back
Ah yes, those big hands that can wrap around his spaghetti-thin waist.
> Viktor's pussy clenches. His hole aches to be filled
If you can use pussy, you don't need to use hole. Simple as.
> It's like he has no control over his own body
So what you're saying is that when you get horny you become a dumb bimbo that just wants cock. OK.
> Not even when he's horny does he act this careless, this filthy
Are you sure about that?
> Viktor has only one thing on his mind, getting himself stuffed full of Jayce's cock
Yes, there is a belly bulge.
> Might slow himself down in his quest to fuck himself on Jayce as soon as humanly possible
Out of the way, preps, a pooner wants that Hispanic Hog!
> You'd think they'd never had sex before, or that Jayce was a virgin, judging by how frozen he is
Nah, he just didn't think his pet pooner was that freaky.
> He's absolutely unhinged
You don't say.
> Baby, what do you need?
> I need your cock, please
And then he asks AGAIN what Viktor needs despite him making it clear what he wants. Fucking idiot.
> Viktor's labia
That is acceptable to use, but not 'vagina'. Curious, that.
> The last bit sharp with jealousy
What's that about being a sweet, kind person, again?
> Bouncing in Jayce's lap without even being properly filled
That will be remedied shortly.
> So my precious Viktor is desperate to get fucked
What did I say about the bad dialogue?
> Jayce is the hottest man on this whole fucked-up planet, and he's his
Yep, just your basic bitch bodice ripper.
> Now let me take this off you so I can rail you hard and deep
What happened to being frozen in place like a virgin? He snapped out of it real quick.
> Viktor will never stop being in awe of Jayce's size. The first time he saw it, he'd gawked like it was going to split him in two
Of course. The Hispanic Hog is undefeated. He will never be a normal size in pooner fics, because they like their brown man having a big dick.
> He just breaths deep while his body adjusts to being filled to the brim
> I bet you can feel me all the way here, he adds, touching the lower part of Viktor's belly
Yep, called it. They're predictable at this point.
> Reducing Viktor to a moaning, panting, begging mess while fucking him is a fantasy that lives rent-free in Jayce's head
1. This implies he never actually achieved this before, meaning he's bad in bed and 2. Still a female fantasy.
> I want to ride you until you scream my name, babe. Until 'Viktor' is the only thing coming out of your mouth
It took me a hot minute to find out who was talking. The dialogue can get confusing sometimes, because there is no 'x says' or any indications as to who says what. You are left wondering why a character says something when, in fact, the other character said it.
> Even ambrosia wouldn't taste as sweet as hearing Viktor talk dirty
I thought his pussy WAS sweet ambrosia, and that was the best thing ever. What happened?
> Does it feel good, baby? Can you feel my cock inside you?
That's Jayce talking, btw.
> Yes, yes, yes - it feels so...big and hard
Hot. I've heard hotter sex talk at a Burger King over the menu.
> You're so tight and wet, taking my cock so well. My desperate little thing
Really? That's all you have to say? Not, 'Look at you, taking my cock so well. You've been hungry for it all along'? No food metaphors or mentions of how big Jayce's hands are?
> I should be fucking you all the time
They are. This was made clear in the beginning - they have sex quite often. Either the author did not remember what she wrote, or she just accidentally made Jayce look like a chump in bed. I'll let you decide.
> Then making you walk around dripping for me
You already said that.
> Fucking hell, yes, Viktor wants to be filled to the brim and strut all over Piltover like that
Redundant.
> He wants so many things with Jayce - sexual, romantic
That's how you know a woman wrote this. This is written with female sensibilities in mind: gay men are size queens, sure, but they sure as hell don't give a shit about romance.
> Whose heart rests in his partner's massive hands
I bet he could solo a gorilla with those hands.
> Viktor feels how his pussy yields to Jayce without a single complaint
Almost as if when you're that aroused, the vagina can do amazing things. As if it was made to do that.
> You were made for me, for my cock, for my hands, for my mouth
See point above. Almost as if Viktor, being female, has complementary gentalia.
> Like something carved out of marble and lust
These white girls sure do love their marble statues. Who says Greek statue twitter is obsessed with them?
> So close to the edge
She uses this term 13 times.
> Jayce whines so hard that veins pop along his neck and forehead
I think of a body builder doing a bad deadlift. Don't nick an artery there, lad.
> He's a kind, thoughtful man
Who happens to get jealous at a drop of a hat 'like a feral cat'. So nice, so kind. What a sweet baby.
> He guides himself into Viktor's hole.
Sex. You can use 'vaginal lips' but you can't even use 'entrance'? Oh I know what you're doing there.
> You're so wet and tight for me
He already said that. Note how the sex doing goes, 'I'm gonna cum' to the other going, 'I am also going to cum'. Very attractive. Such passion.
> He glances down just in time to see how much he came
Like a horse, naturally. Enough to fill a sperm bank. Enough to glaze a New York bakery.
> Hell, if Jayce could knock him up, he probably just gave him quadruplets
That's not how it works.
> Why the hell would he want to get Viktor pregnant?
For the same reason Viktor wonders why his pussy is acting the way it is around a hot male: biology. You want to breed him because, deep down, you know he is female, and you want to reproduce. Nature is calling. Viktor, being female, still feels its call despite all those years of T shots and claiming a different identity. All it took was pollen from male trees and this bitch turned into a puma in heat.
> Scientifically impossible
Spring does indeed increase libido. It's called 'Spring Fever' for a reason: longer daylight means greater happiness, and less stress hormones means you want to do the down and dirty.
> Here you are: full of my cum and eyes sparkling because your hormones decided you needed to be railed
Funny how MALE TREES put our wee pooner back to her female biology. You can say she had the man fucked right out her, lmao.
> Like embers or fire
Where are the oranges? I was told he smells like oranges or alcohol.
Of course. If he was ugly, none of these things would take off. It is your basic female fantasy put to paper, with different labels attached. At least this one doesn't have the male love interest admit that his lover's pussy stinks.
The second chapter promises to be raunchier than this one, and the author is very proud of it! It will be as long as this one, so when it gets updated, you're going to need to get ready for more vagina clenching and veins popping. Spring hormones sure do make people go wild!
The word of the day is 'vaginismus'. The plot of the day is, 'how can I turn a medical condition into a fetish'?
> He had to bend slightly to kiss him
Just how short is Viktor, here?
> Truth be told it had felt like an eternity
> Knew it had been a slow climb
Redundant.
> The thin strip of skin that showed on his lower back had been part of it
All he's missing is the tramp stamp
> Jayce swore his drink was more sugar than coffee
You just wrote he put too much sugar in it.
> He didn't want to undermine Viktor's autonomy so he just stood there silently behind him and tried his best to look intimidating
Oh? Why can't the trans man do that by himself? Isn't he a real man?
> There's something wrong, I guess, with me
I'll tell you what that is: testosterone. FTMs have higher rates of vaginismus than normal women do, and T is the reason why.
> Taking Jayce's fingers all the way down without so much as flinching
Yes, there is a deepthroat scene.
> As much as he wanted to rip Viktor's clothes off and drive him into the table
So much for his disability.
> He really needed this to happen again
> Fantasized too much about everything he wanted to do to just not do it
Eh, what?
> Considering his size
Ah there's the Hispanic Hog we know and love.
> It was tight, and Jayce could see the bulge of his cock stretching Viktor's throat obscenely, visible under the skin
12'' of a piñata puncher, right there.
> Feeling himself thrusting through it
> To really grab his upper body and properly fuck his face
So much for caring about his disabilities.
> He thought about it in his various fantasies, having Viktor every way he could
See point above.
Notice the language here used to describe those boring ordinary women: they do it for show, they don't do it to 'please their man', and they're overall a boring fuck. The trans man is naturally superior, having a male's sex drive while in a female body, crossing off those boxes in his fantasies that he wishes he could fulfill. You cannot convince me this is not misogynistic.
> The pale skin
We love our pale boys, don't we?
> Curls of soft brown hair brushed his nose, the tip of his cock peeking out and practically begging for attention
Ah, there's the Rapunzel pubes. Never a dull moment.
> The sounds of it he might already know, which was very hot
Such as?
> Jayce took his cock into his mouth almost delicately
Not like there's a lot to take into your mouth, but whatever.
Game, eh?
> Fuck Jayce what are you made of?
Gigachad genetics with fashy haircuts. That one incel fic has stuck with me, lmao.
> The heads of their cocks met
You need two actual cocks for that.
> The noises it made were obscene, wet slaps against Viktor's ass that by God he wanted to fuck one day
Is his dick making those noises, or his balls?
> Jayce realized how small Viktor was. His cock barely fit between Viktor's cunt
This rubbed me the wrong way. Not only does it imply Viktor is absolutely tiny, it implies he has a girl-like vagina. What the fuck?
> He couldn't remember coming that hard, ever. It seemed to last for an eternity
I'm not getting over that 'tiny vagina' comment. What did the author mean by that?
The author considered this the 'fluffiest' thing she wrote. She wants to focus more on dubcon. I don't know why she included vaginismus in this, but it says two things: either she's aware that it's common in trans men, or took a tweet fetishizing and sexualizing a condition many women suffer with and ran with it. Note how more focus is given to the penis owner and his pleasure vs the vagina owner's. That explains the BL's fixation.
> Jayce and Viktor don't celebrate dumb things
Suuuure they don't. They don't celebrate 'dumb things', they just fuck a lot because all that floating sperm aka pollen is messing with their hormones and making them horny.
> His dick wants to jump out of his pants and rub against Viktor's parted lips
OK, place your bets: how big do you think Jayce is in this one? 10 inches? Our legendary 12? Starting the pool now.
> A whole lot of sex. Like, a lot
Like? You want to be seen as a man, you can, like? Stop, like, writing like this?
> And that waist? Shit, he could spend a lifetime wrapping his hands around it - they fit so well he can touch his fingertips together
Yes, it's THIS FUCKING LINE. This line used in every single trans fic because we really need to highlight how fucking small his waist is. Do you want to know how many times this dumb bitch uses it? Three times. They can never seem to get how fucking repetitive it is.
> There's something in his eyes
> Something dirty. And dangerous
He was already ogling you and you already concluded he wanted sex. There's no point in drawing out something that's already made clear.
> All he thinks about is getting Viktor naked, spreading his legs, and wrecking him
Oh, are we gonna get the Hispanic Hog? Get your measuring tapes out.
> He's never experienced his sexuality this intensely
Of course not. He just needed a real man, a 6'0 Gigachad, to unlock his 'feminine wiles' - er, vagina owner wiles.
> Pressing into strategic spots - his waist, his hips
Both of which are uwu so smol.
> That's cliché even for you
I'll say.
> Spring doesn't affect human hormones in any way
It does, actually, particularly serotonin. You can tell this bitch did not do any research - and why would they for a trans smut fic?
> I like your pussy
Enough to write 10k words of him going down on it.
> It's not fair that Jayce can get him wet with just a handful of filthy words. But it'd be ridiculous to reduce it to that
That's exactly what it is: you, a female, are attracted to a hot male, and your body instinctively prepares itself to accept what he has on offer. You get wet at the tall, strong, muscular man because this is just your basic bitch female fantasy even if the author wants everyone to see this pooner as male. They cannot escape that female socialization.
> Hands big enough to wrap around Viktor's waist and ass at the same time
Yes, she wrote this fucking line AGAIN, and has made Jayce's hands so big he has reached Gorilla Puncher status. Who needs Chris Redfield when you've got this big boy?
> He honestly thought Viktor might be getting sick of his behaviour
I know I am.
> Something else gets bigger when I look at you
Fucking hell, that's cheesy. That's something a socially awkward teenage boy would say.
> Let me eat your pussy
Pretty sure I saw this in a badly acted porno somewhere.
> His pussy pulses and soaks itself
Like a sentient sponge.
> It's ridiculous
You got that right. You're a man's man, why on earth is your genitalia acting this way? It's almost as if biology is overpowering your logic and you just want to breed.
> God, his cock is a goddamn warhammer right now
Don't let Robert Baratheon find out.
> The secret key to getting Viktor to let him pull his pants down and fuck him until he screams his throat raw with orgasm
Easy. Talk to him like he's a horse and offer him oats, then you can use your horse cock on him.
> There's nothing in this world I enjoy more than walking around with your juices in my beard
Wait until it turns to summer, he'll have every mosquito and horse fly in that shit.
> spanish
That should be capitalized.
> Becoming a prison of muscle and bone around Viktor
These ladies love their muscle men. You cannot convince me they would not be BookTok authors in their spare time.
> I've been thinking about your pussy for hours, about making you come. Please, baby. Let me lick you
You might think this is sexy, but it's a major turn off for how BAD it sounds. Sure, in another context it can be hot. But it just sounds desperate and whiny. I've read similar lines from other authors and they can pull it off. Not here.
> He's a pile of firewood near open flames - just a matter of time before he catches fire
Redundant, as that's what firewood is for.
> Jayce's big, warm hands immediately claim his waist. Both of them let out a quiet gasp when they feel Viktor's body caught between them
Three times. Three times this accursed line has been uttered. I might crack a tooth if see it used any more.
> The chemistry between them is electric
And Jayce can plug up a transformer with those hands of his.
> Just as erratic as their heartbeats. And their hormones
I thought spring didn't affect human hormones.
> They're made for each other, and that's undeniable.
> When his hands fit Viktor's body like it was made just for him
Almost as if they have complementary bodies. Almost as if evolution made them that way for breeding purposes. Weird, huh?
> Vaginal lips
I assume this will be the only time I'll see 'vagina' in this. Also, the word you are looking for is 'labia'.
> Pleasing Viktor is always his top priority
We know. You said that already.
> Like a damn virgin teenager
Yeah, we know.
> His fingers stroke the dark curls already damp with slick
Here come the Rapunzel pubes! Always a staple.
> Compliments always made him feel vulnerable
Awww, look at that. The pooner doesn't want to admit they're beautiful
Give him a hug, would ya?> Jayce is jealous as hell, even if he'll never admit it
He doesn't have to. Actions speak louder than words. He later admits it, anyways.
> Pissed off stray cat
I like to go with shit bull myself.
> Part pleasure, part pain
Cliché.
> Mine to kiss and make my wife until the end of days
Now, here I am told you never, EVER misgender a trans man. They HATE being referred to with any female title, and yet here we are. It's okay when THEY do it.
> Of all the men he could have fallen for, he chose the most territorial one
AKA you fell for the bad boy. Typical.
> The most handsome, the sexiest, the kindest, the sweetest, the most jealous
If he's 'the most jealous', that negates the kindness and sweetness. If you are kind and confident, you will know that your partner won't stray because they KNOW you are the best.
> His dick is about to explode in his pants
Like a hotdog in a microwave, eh?
> His hole wide open
I was right that 'vaginal lips' was the only time 'vagina' would ever be used.
> He loves eating pussy
You don't say.
> Brushing his lips over his beautiful pussy
All this obsession over how pretty his kitty is makes me think these authors have an absolute dungeon down there. It also gets repetitive real quick with how many times it's used.
The author just gave up editing halfway through the fic, I see.
> Viktor keeps insisting he go back to his pussy and take him to heaven
That's one hell of a line, and not a good one.
> I'm gonna make you come
> Jayce, make me come
*Insert Trump meme here*
> he doesn't want to see like a damn inexperienced virgin who can't control his body whenever Jayce touches or kisses him
Oh? You're saying your body is reacting to a hot, sexy guy? You don't say.
> Expose his sweet ambrosia
The cringe, it burns.
> Or the scratches he gave himself in his sleep
I detect some projection here.
> Viktor's hands are beautiful - slender pianist fingers
Unlike those boulder puncher hands. Those are a lady's hands.
> That big mouth can work magic
Why did I think of a grouper fish when I read that?
> It's so damn hot and stiff
Are we getting a belly bulge next chapter or nah?
> You have the prettiest cock in the world, my love
Is it thick and veiny, or...?
> Using Jayce's cock like a toy, grinding it against his pussy
I just thought of a hotdog going into a bike chain, for some reason.
This author really writes redundant statements. If you have a character say they are going to come, you don't need to write the other saying they're going to do the same - unless you want to ham it up with the sex talk or that character is KNOWN for that. Some authors can pull it off - I've seen it and enjoyed it - but this is just silly.
> Ribbons of cum land on Viktor's mound
Ah, glad we have the excessive semen production for this.
> He dips his fingers into the cum coating Viktor's dark curls and pushes them straight inside him
Watch him get pregnant, LMAO
> I'm going to be late to my appointment with the blacksmith
You ARE a blacksmith, homie.
Ekko only appears once and it's to give them cookies. Talk about a useless character. Get those damn darkies out of my slash!
> His pussy is throbbing for some strange, unknown reason
All that pollen is increasing his need to breed. I didn't think this was going to turn into an ABO fic.
> Lewd images keep flooding his mind like some damn cat in heat
So what you're saying is that you're a wild pussy HEYO
> Big, rough hands sliding down the curve of his back
Ah yes, those big hands that can wrap around his spaghetti-thin waist.
> Viktor's pussy clenches. His hole aches to be filled
If you can use pussy, you don't need to use hole. Simple as.
> It's like he has no control over his own body
So what you're saying is that when you get horny you become a dumb bimbo that just wants cock. OK.
> Not even when he's horny does he act this careless, this filthy
Are you sure about that?
> Viktor has only one thing on his mind, getting himself stuffed full of Jayce's cock
Yes, there is a belly bulge.
> Might slow himself down in his quest to fuck himself on Jayce as soon as humanly possible
Out of the way, preps, a pooner wants that Hispanic Hog!
> You'd think they'd never had sex before, or that Jayce was a virgin, judging by how frozen he is
Nah, he just didn't think his pet pooner was that freaky.
> He's absolutely unhinged
You don't say.
> Baby, what do you need?
> I need your cock, please
And then he asks AGAIN what Viktor needs despite him making it clear what he wants. Fucking idiot.
> Viktor's labia
That is acceptable to use, but not 'vagina'. Curious, that.
> The last bit sharp with jealousy
What's that about being a sweet, kind person, again?
> Bouncing in Jayce's lap without even being properly filled
That will be remedied shortly.
> So my precious Viktor is desperate to get fucked
What did I say about the bad dialogue?
> Jayce is the hottest man on this whole fucked-up planet, and he's his
Yep, just your basic bitch bodice ripper.
> Now let me take this off you so I can rail you hard and deep
What happened to being frozen in place like a virgin? He snapped out of it real quick.
> Viktor will never stop being in awe of Jayce's size. The first time he saw it, he'd gawked like it was going to split him in two
Of course. The Hispanic Hog is undefeated. He will never be a normal size in pooner fics, because they like their brown man having a big dick.
> He just breaths deep while his body adjusts to being filled to the brim
> I bet you can feel me all the way here, he adds, touching the lower part of Viktor's belly
Yep, called it. They're predictable at this point.
> Reducing Viktor to a moaning, panting, begging mess while fucking him is a fantasy that lives rent-free in Jayce's head
1. This implies he never actually achieved this before, meaning he's bad in bed and 2. Still a female fantasy.
> I want to ride you until you scream my name, babe. Until 'Viktor' is the only thing coming out of your mouth
It took me a hot minute to find out who was talking. The dialogue can get confusing sometimes, because there is no 'x says' or any indications as to who says what. You are left wondering why a character says something when, in fact, the other character said it.
> Even ambrosia wouldn't taste as sweet as hearing Viktor talk dirty
I thought his pussy WAS sweet ambrosia, and that was the best thing ever. What happened?
> Does it feel good, baby? Can you feel my cock inside you?
That's Jayce talking, btw.
> Yes, yes, yes - it feels so...big and hard
Hot. I've heard hotter sex talk at a Burger King over the menu.
> You're so tight and wet, taking my cock so well. My desperate little thing
Really? That's all you have to say? Not, 'Look at you, taking my cock so well. You've been hungry for it all along'? No food metaphors or mentions of how big Jayce's hands are?
> I should be fucking you all the time
They are. This was made clear in the beginning - they have sex quite often. Either the author did not remember what she wrote, or she just accidentally made Jayce look like a chump in bed. I'll let you decide.
> Then making you walk around dripping for me
You already said that.
> Fucking hell, yes, Viktor wants to be filled to the brim and strut all over Piltover like that
Redundant.
> He wants so many things with Jayce - sexual, romantic
That's how you know a woman wrote this. This is written with female sensibilities in mind: gay men are size queens, sure, but they sure as hell don't give a shit about romance.
> Whose heart rests in his partner's massive hands
I bet he could solo a gorilla with those hands.
> Viktor feels how his pussy yields to Jayce without a single complaint
Almost as if when you're that aroused, the vagina can do amazing things. As if it was made to do that.
> You were made for me, for my cock, for my hands, for my mouth
See point above. Almost as if Viktor, being female, has complementary gentalia.
> Like something carved out of marble and lust
These white girls sure do love their marble statues. Who says Greek statue twitter is obsessed with them?
> So close to the edge
She uses this term 13 times.
> Jayce whines so hard that veins pop along his neck and forehead
I think of a body builder doing a bad deadlift. Don't nick an artery there, lad.
> He's a kind, thoughtful man
Who happens to get jealous at a drop of a hat 'like a feral cat'. So nice, so kind. What a sweet baby.
> He guides himself into Viktor's hole.
Sex. You can use 'vaginal lips' but you can't even use 'entrance'? Oh I know what you're doing there.
> You're so wet and tight for me
He already said that. Note how the sex doing goes, 'I'm gonna cum' to the other going, 'I am also going to cum'. Very attractive. Such passion.
> He glances down just in time to see how much he came
Like a horse, naturally. Enough to fill a sperm bank. Enough to glaze a New York bakery.
> Hell, if Jayce could knock him up, he probably just gave him quadruplets
That's not how it works.
> Why the hell would he want to get Viktor pregnant?
For the same reason Viktor wonders why his pussy is acting the way it is around a hot male: biology. You want to breed him because, deep down, you know he is female, and you want to reproduce. Nature is calling. Viktor, being female, still feels its call despite all those years of T shots and claiming a different identity. All it took was pollen from male trees and this bitch turned into a puma in heat.
> Scientifically impossible
Spring does indeed increase libido. It's called 'Spring Fever' for a reason: longer daylight means greater happiness, and less stress hormones means you want to do the down and dirty.
> Here you are: full of my cum and eyes sparkling because your hormones decided you needed to be railed
Funny how MALE TREES put our wee pooner back to her female biology. You can say she had the man fucked right out her, lmao.
> Like embers or fire
Where are the oranges? I was told he smells like oranges or alcohol.
Of course. If he was ugly, none of these things would take off. It is your basic female fantasy put to paper, with different labels attached. At least this one doesn't have the male love interest admit that his lover's pussy stinks.
The second chapter promises to be raunchier than this one, and the author is very proud of it! It will be as long as this one, so when it gets updated, you're going to need to get ready for more vagina clenching and veins popping. Spring hormones sure do make people go wild!
The word of the day is 'vaginismus'. The plot of the day is, 'how can I turn a medical condition into a fetish'?
> He had to bend slightly to kiss him
Just how short is Viktor, here?
> Truth be told it had felt like an eternity
> Knew it had been a slow climb
Redundant.
> The thin strip of skin that showed on his lower back had been part of it
All he's missing is the tramp stamp
> Jayce swore his drink was more sugar than coffee
You just wrote he put too much sugar in it.
> He didn't want to undermine Viktor's autonomy so he just stood there silently behind him and tried his best to look intimidating
Oh? Why can't the trans man do that by himself? Isn't he a real man?
> There's something wrong, I guess, with me
I'll tell you what that is: testosterone. FTMs have higher rates of vaginismus than normal women do, and T is the reason why.
> Taking Jayce's fingers all the way down without so much as flinching
Yes, there is a deepthroat scene.
> As much as he wanted to rip Viktor's clothes off and drive him into the table
So much for his disability.
> He really needed this to happen again
> Fantasized too much about everything he wanted to do to just not do it
Eh, what?
> Considering his size
Ah there's the Hispanic Hog we know and love.
> It was tight, and Jayce could see the bulge of his cock stretching Viktor's throat obscenely, visible under the skin
12'' of a piñata puncher, right there.
> Feeling himself thrusting through it
> To really grab his upper body and properly fuck his face
So much for caring about his disabilities.
> He thought about it in his various fantasies, having Viktor every way he could
See point above.
Notice the language here used to describe those boring ordinary women: they do it for show, they don't do it to 'please their man', and they're overall a boring fuck. The trans man is naturally superior, having a male's sex drive while in a female body, crossing off those boxes in his fantasies that he wishes he could fulfill. You cannot convince me this is not misogynistic.
> The pale skin
We love our pale boys, don't we?
> Curls of soft brown hair brushed his nose, the tip of his cock peeking out and practically begging for attention
Ah, there's the Rapunzel pubes. Never a dull moment.
> The sounds of it he might already know, which was very hot
Such as?
> Jayce took his cock into his mouth almost delicately
Not like there's a lot to take into your mouth, but whatever.
Game, eh?
> Fuck Jayce what are you made of?
Gigachad genetics with fashy haircuts. That one incel fic has stuck with me, lmao.
> The heads of their cocks met
You need two actual cocks for that.
> The noises it made were obscene, wet slaps against Viktor's ass that by God he wanted to fuck one day
Is his dick making those noises, or his balls?
> Jayce realized how small Viktor was. His cock barely fit between Viktor's cunt
This rubbed me the wrong way. Not only does it imply Viktor is absolutely tiny, it implies he has a girl-like vagina. What the fuck?
> He couldn't remember coming that hard, ever. It seemed to last for an eternity
I'm not getting over that 'tiny vagina' comment. What did the author mean by that?
The author considered this the 'fluffiest' thing she wrote. She wants to focus more on dubcon. I don't know why she included vaginismus in this, but it says two things: either she's aware that it's common in trans men, or took a tweet fetishizing and sexualizing a condition many women suffer with and ran with it. Note how more focus is given to the penis owner and his pleasure vs the vagina owner's. That explains the BL's fixation.
Indeed, you can never tell with skinny guys!
Holy fuck, pooners really are that desperate for the real thing, eh?
I know, I know, I wasted your time. Where are the real horrors, you ask? Well they'll be coming up soon. Figured some boring shit would at least act as a buffer. There's been a burst of new content, so it's a matter of picking which one will actually be horrifying. Most of them end up being more disappointing than they appear. 
Call me baited.
Care to square that circle for me?
).
