Fanfiction Horrors

While the punny title fits, I'm not sure what is worse, M/F scat fanfics, F/F ones, or M/M ones like this one:

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Link / Archive

The moment the elevator abruptly stalled between floors three and four of the hotel he and his boyfriend were staying at for a summer vacation, Shouto knew he was in trouble. Having to pee while stuck in an elevator would have been bad enough, but Shouto didn't have to pee.

He had to…defecate.

He and Izuku had been in Brazil for three days now, and everything had been going amazingly. Rio de Janeiro was beautiful—the perfect place to enjoy a lovely sunrise every morning, a hot day at the beach, and a plethora of sights to see and experience. They'd just gotten back to their hotel after going out for dinner—and unfortunately, it seemed as though the food had kicked his digestive system into high gear. It probably didn't help that he hadn't gone since the day they'd arrived.

When the bright emergency lights came on, Izuku pressed the call button to alert the staff that the elevator had broken down. Shouto listened in, and it quickly became apparent that the universe was out to get him.

A nearby villain attack had the road to the hotel blocked until further notice, meaning firefighters were not only going to be busy assisting paramedics at the scene, but they had no way of reaching the hotel anytime soon, thanks to a barricade of cars the villain had surrounded himself with. Local heroes were en route to confront the villain, but in the meantime, all Shouto and Izuku could do was wait it out.

Shouto briefly wondered if it was a sign.

Izuku sighed as the call ended, “Well, just because we're on vacation doesn't mean villains will be, I guess.” He turned to Shouto and paused, his eyebrows furrowing in concern, “...Are you okay, Shouto? You look tense.”

Shouto was tense—because how could he be anything else when the pressure inside him was steadily building up like a volcano ready to erupt? “I… have to use the bathroom,” he muttered in shame.

“Oh!” Izuku blinked. “Do you think you can hold it?”

Shouto squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the contents of his guts steadily moving down. “At this rate, probably not,” he said through gritted teeth. He hated to admit it, especially to Izuku, but the pressure in his lower abdomen was refusing to let up, and it was starting to hurt. He really didn't think he could wait long enough to make it to the bathroom.

“I have an empty water bottle in my backpack from our hike if you want to use that?” Izuku offered. Shouto flushed red as he realized that Izuku thought he simply had to pee. If only it were that easy…

“I don't… I don't have to pee, Izuku,” Shouto painfully admitted.

Izuku's eyes widened. “What? Shouto, when was the last time you—”

“Three days ago,” Shouto cut him off, before a cramp rolled through his lower abdomen so sharply that he helplessly whined in the back of his throat. As he clenched his anal muscles with as much strength as he could muster, he was unable to hold back a series of loud, humiliating farts that echoed within the confines of the elevator.

Izuku immediately turned red in secondhand embarrassment, quickly averting his eyes and stammering, “It's—it's okay, Shouto! I know you can't help it! Did—uh, did that help at all?”

Shouto blinked tears out of his eyes before answering only because Izuku sounded genuinely concerned and not at all disgusted despite the smell that had filled the small space. “Not really,” he whispered. “It still feels like I'm about to shit myself.”

Izuku winced, looking around the elevator as though a solution would suddenly manifest itself in Shouto's time of need. “I… I'm sorry, Shouto, I really don't know what I can do…”

“This is hardly your fault, Izuku,” Shouto reassured, despite the panic clawing its way up his throat. “It's just…” Another large bubble of gas escaped Shouto's desperate clutches. “...unfortunate timing.”

“Um… maybe you can just poop in the corner?” Izuku suggested timidly. Shouto gave him a strained, deadpan look.

“And be arrested for property damage and indecent exposure?” Shouto drawled. “No, thank you.”

“I'm sure the staff would understand, given the circumstances—”

“Izuku, no,” Shouto said firmly. “I just… can't.”

Izuku looked down, biting his lip. A tense silence spread between them. A few minutes passed with the silence only being broken by Shouto’s guts betraying him with more bubbles of gas that made their confinement even more unbearable.

Suddenly, the pressure in Shouto’s lower abdomen shifted sharply, and even as he gasped in pain, he could feel the tip of a thick turd stretching him open.

“Shit—shit—shit…!” Shouto exclaimed in panic. “Izuku, it’s coming out—it’s coming out!” He instinctively reached back to press his buttcheeks together through the thin fabric of his jeans, praying he could force his body to stop with external pressure.

Izuku made a distressed noise, reaching out but not quite touching Shouto, “Listen, Shouto—you are not going to make it to the bathroom. At this point, you're just hurting yourself… I think it's time you just…go.”

“I… I already told you I'm not pooping on the floor—!”

“Then don't,” Izuku interrupted. “Just… go in your pants.”

Shouto's head snapped up, “Izuku…!”

“I'm serious!” Izuku insisted, finally setting his hands on Shouto's shoulders and giving them a comforting squeeze. “You're in pain, and your body is already trying to let go. Trust me, it's okay.”

“N-no…” Shouto whimpered as he finally regained a smidgen of control over his bowel movements. He could feel the warm, solid log sticking out of his hole and dirtying the inside of his buttcheeks, but it hadn’t ventured far enough yet to soil his clothes. Shouto didn’t want to admit it, but the cramps in his lower abdomen and the insistent pressure in his rectum were wearing down his resolve—and it didn’t help that Izuku was encouraging him… “Don’t make me do this…”

“You’re already doing it,” Izuku said gently. “You just need to let yourself keep doing it. I promise, Shouto, I will not think any less of you. I love you.” Izuku brought his hands down Shouto’s arms and carefully pulled his hands away from his backside, holding them lovingly like he’d done many times before. “It’ll probably feel weird and gross, but I’d rather you be uncomfortable than in pain. Please, Shouto… Just relax.”

“But…!” Shouto whined and squirmed in place. “God… I'm pathetic, aren't I?”

“No, never,” Izuku promised, squeezing Shouto’s hands. “You're only human, Shouto. Anyone could have ended up in this situation.”

Shouto shyly looked into Izuku's eyes, “Even you?”

Izuku blushed but held eye contact, “Even me.”

Shouto's legs were shaking now. Every breath he took was shallow as he tried to keep control over his body.

“Do you trust me?” Izuku asked.

“More than anyone,” Shouto answered honestly.

Izuku smiled faintly, “Then stop holding it. Let yourself go—you'll feel so much better.”

Shouto hesitated a moment more, ducking his head shyly, “Can you…Can you help me?”

“Of course,” Izuku answered immediately. He slowly guided Shouto down into a squat, kneeling on one knee in front of him—never once releasing their handhold. “Here—spread your legs.”

Shouto’s legs were still stubbornly pressed together, the fabric of his boxers and jeans stretched taut over his backside from squatting, just barely helping him hold everything in. He looked at Izuku and—just to make sure—asked, “You really don’t mind?”

Izuku shook his head, “Not at all.”

Shouto sighed, shaking his head in resignation, “I can’t believe I’m doing this…”

He took a deep breath, holding it deep in his chest as he carefully shifted his legs apart. As he did so, he could feel the poop between his buttcheeks resume its movement, continuing to push its way out of him at a steady pace without his direct input.

“Breath, Shouto,” Izuku reminded him.

Shouto exhaled shakily, finally allowing his body to fully relax. As his anal muscles lost their tension, the first log quickly pressed against the inside of Shouto’s boxers, forcing the fabric to stretch outward before the turd began to pancake and pile up against Shouto’s butt with a soft crackling noise. The smell quickly rose, causing tears of embarrassment to well in Shouto’s eyes; his breath hitched when the first log of poop finally broke off into his pants. He wasn’t done—he could still feel pressure at his hole, but it seemed his body wasn’t going to force the rest out.

Despite the circumstances, Shouto did feel better—physically, at least. The pain was gone, and his need no longer felt quite so urgent.

Izuku pulled one hand away from Shouto’s to reach up and wipe the teardrops from Shouto’s eyelashes, “Hey, you’re fine. You’re doing great, love.”

“I think I can hold the rest, Izuku…” Shouto murmured.

“Shouto…” Izuku sighed. “I think you've held it for long enough. Just let yourself finish going—it's not like it'll make much of a difference, clean up-wise.”

Shouto huffed, “But I'll have to—you know… push.”

“So what?” Izuku asked, genuinely confused.

“If I push… it won't feel like an accident anymore,” Shouto admitted. “It'll feel like I'm doing it on purpose…”

“... Would you have chosen to poop your pants if the elevator hadn't broken?” Izuku asked after a moment of thought.

“Of course not, Izuku,” Shouto grumbled, glaring half-heartedly.

“Then you aren't doing this on purpose,” Izuku said firmly. “It's an accident, even if you help things along, because this wouldn't have happened at all if we weren't stuck in here.”

“I guess…” Shouto conceded reluctantly.

“Good, now poop,” Izuku ordered with a grin.

Shouto couldn't resist a slight giggle at the ridiculousness of it all before he began to push with a grunt of effort. The pressure at his hole quickly resolved itself with a long series of crackles and pops; the poop solid, yet moldable as it filled his pants.

While Shouto was actively crapping his pants, Izuku waited patiently, holding Shouto’s hands and looking at him with nothing but compassion. This situation, if nothing else, had at least solidified Shouto's decision that this was the man he wanted to spend his entire life with. Not just anyone would comfort their partner through such an ordeal, much less without laughing or making fun.

When the last bit of poop finally added itself to the mess in his boxers, Shouto released a low sigh of relief. He hadn't realized just how bloated and full his abdomen had been until now—it felt so much lighter now that everything was in his pants instead of his guts.

“Are you done?” Izuku asked.

Shouto nodded sheepishly, “Yeah.”

“...And? How do you feel?”

“...Better. So much better…” Shouto dropped his head with another sigh. “But I still can't believe I just shit myself in an elevator, while on vacation, with my boyfriend of all people…”

Izuku raised an eyebrow, “Would you rather this had happened with someone else?”

“Absolutely not,” Shouto deadpanned.

Izuku smiled in amusement, “Didn't think so.”

Shouto eyed Izuku, who was still kneeling on one knee in front of him, and snorted, “You know, I was supposed to be the one kneeling down on one knee during this trip.”

Izuku froze, “Shouto…?”

Shouto shook his head and looked Izuku in the eye despite the embarrassment still clinging to his cheeks, “This isn't exactly the romantic moment I was waiting for, but…”

Izuku’s breath hitched, his eyes preemptively filling with tears.

Shouto continued, “Izuku, I love you. I love you so much, and you've proven to me time and time again that you love me too. We've fought by each other's side since high school, and even now—with literal crap in my pants—you continue to look at me as though I'm something special. I can't imagine not spending the rest of my life with you; so, I must ask… will you marry me?”

Izuku burst into tears, nodding frantically and squeezing Shouto’s hands so tightly he feared he might fracture a finger. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes—oh, Shouto…!” Izuku sobbed, before suddenly lunging at Shouto and knocking him over and onto the floor.

Shouto, unfortunately, felt the…situation…in his pants get worse as his butt hit the floor before he ended up on his back with Izuku's arms around him. The poop squished up and down his crack, but the sensation ceased to register the moment Izuku pulled back just enough to draw him into a deep, open-mouthed kiss. Even the heavy smell in the elevator wasn't enough to deter Shouto’s enthusiastic reciprocation. He moaned into Izuku’s mouth, arching up into him and feeling Izuku grind his hips down to meet Shouto’s in response. Izuku groaned low in his throat at the friction, breaking their kiss to meet Shouto’s eyes. His pupils were blown wide, and Shouto was sure his own were no better.

“As much as I love you, Shouto,” Izuku panted, beaming. “We can’t celebrate our engagement in a broken-down elevator.”

Shouto snorted, “Or with shit in my pants.”

Izuku laughed, “Yeah, that too.”

“How about, after we finally get back to our room and I take a shower, I propose to you properly?” Shouto suggested, smiling. “I can get down on one knee, put a ring on your finger, and then we can celebrate. Sound like a plan?”

Izuku reached up and gently caressed Shouto’s cheek, “...Yeah, the best.”

Izuku hummed happily to himself as he and Shouto stepped into the elevator to return to their hotel room. He couldn’t stop his lingering glances at Shouto—with his beautiful blue/gray eyes, his strong jawline practically begging to be kissed, and his long, lovely two-toned hair that was tied back into a messy bun. It was this incredible man who had planned their entire vacation to Rio de Janeiro, citing that Izuku was working himself too hard and needed a long-overdue break. Izuku couldn’t say no when Shouto added, “Besides… We could use the alone time, don’t you think?”

Alone time with Shouto Todoroki—the kindest, sweetest, most handsome man Izuku had ever had the pleasure of meeting? The same man who had asked Izuku to be his boyfriend while hiding his face behind a bouquet of red and white roses? The one whose arms Izuku fell asleep in every night and whose face he woke up to every morning?

…Yeah, “no” was never an option.

Izuku's musings were abruptly cut off by the sudden stop of the elevator, which had just passed the third floor. The emergency lights came on a few seconds later, bathing them both in a bright white light. Izuku was closer to the button panel, so he went ahead and pushed the call button to alert the hotel staff that the elevator had broken down. They had made sure to book a hotel with English-speaking staff, since both Izuku and Shouto were fairly well versed in the language after years of study for international hero work.

When the call went through to the front desk, Izuku explained, “Hello, this is Izuku Midoriya from room 615. My partner and I are stuck between floors three and four in elevator two.”

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience, sir! Unfortunately, the road to the hotel has just been blocked by a villain who created a barricade of cars around himself to avoid arrest. We’ve been informed that heroes are on their way, but in the meantime, no one can get through to the hotel. First responders are also en route, but it will be a while until they can come to get you both out. I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait.”

“That’s okay!” Izuku reassured. “We were just coming back to our room, so we aren’t missing any plans or anything!”

“Thank you for understanding. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to call back. We’ll call you when firefighters arrive to get you out.”

“Okay, thank you!”

“You’re welcome.”

Izuku sighed as the call ended, “Well, just because we're on vacation doesn't mean villains will be, I guess.” He turned to Shouto and paused, his eyebrows furrowing in concern, “...Are you okay, Shouto? You look tense.”

Shouto’s legs were tightly pressed together, his jaw clenched. His arms were crossed over his chest, and if Izuku didn’t know Shouto like the back of his hand, he’d assume Shouto was angry about the elevator.

“I… have to use the bathroom,” Shouto muttered in shame.

“Oh!” Izuku blinked. They had both peed before they’d left the restaurant, but Izuku supposed Shouto did drink more soda than he did. “Do you think you can hold it?”

Shouto squeezed his eyes shut. “At this rate, probably not,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I have an empty water bottle in my backpack from our hike if you want to use that?” Izuku offered.

“I don't… I don't have to pee, Izuku,” Shouto admitted, flushed red.

Izuku's eyes widened. Shouto had to poop so bad he didn’t think he could make it? That didn’t make sense—he usually went every morning like clockwork. “What? Shouto, when was the last time you—”

“Three days ago,” Shouto cut him off, before whining helplessly in the back of his throat. Izuku saw his thighs tremble with tension before a loud series of farts echoed around them.

Izuku’s cheeks burned in embarrassment for Shouto, quickly looking away out of respect and stammering, “It's—it's okay, Shouto! I know you can't help it! Did—uh, did that help at all?” The smell didn’t bother him—in all honesty, the sludge villain he’d once faced had smelled so much worse.

“Not really,” Shouto whispered, sounding on the verge of tears. “It still feels like I'm about to shit myself.”

Izuku winced, looking around the elevator as though a solution would suddenly manifest itself in Shouto's time of need. “I… I'm sorry, Shouto, I really don't know what I can do…”

He hated feeling so helpless; he was a hero, not to mention Shouto’s boyfriend! There had to be something he could do for him…

“This is hardly your fault, Izuku,” Shouto reassured, but the poorly hidden panic in his voice made Izuku shrink back in guilt over witnessing such a vulnerable moment. “It's just…” Another loud ‘POP’ came from behind Shouto, “...unfortunate timing.”

“Um… maybe you can just poop in the corner?” Izuku suggested timidly, trying to help. Shouto gave him a strained, deadpan look.

“And be arrested for property damage and indecent exposure?” Shouto drawled. “No, thank you.”

“I'm sure the staff would understand, given the circumstances—”

“Izuku, no,” Shouto said firmly. “I just… can't.”

Izuku looked down, biting his lip. A tense silence spread between them. A few minutes passed with the silence only being broken by the sounds of Shouto fighting a losing battle with his bowels.

Suddenly, Shouto gasped in pain—alarming Izuku.

“Shit—shit—shit…!” Shouto exclaimed in panic. “Izuku, it’s coming out—it’s coming out!” He swiftly reached behind himself, pressing his buttcheeks together through the fabric of his jeans.

Izuku made a distressed noise, reaching out but not quite touching Shouto. He didn’t want to make things worse with unwanted contact. “Listen, Shouto—you are not going to make it to the bathroom. At this point, you're just hurting yourself… I think it's time you just…go.”

“I… I already told you I'm not pooping on the floor—!”

“Then don't,” Izuku interrupted. “Just… go in your pants.” It wasn't ideal since Shouto would definitely be humiliated, especially when they get rescued, but an accident seemed inevitable either way at this point, and Izuku would rather Shouto decide to do it than have his body force him to do it.

Shouto's head snapped up, “Izuku…!”

“I'm serious!” Izuku insisted, finally setting his hands on Shouto's shoulders and giving them a comforting squeeze. He was relieved to see Shouto accept the contact. “You're in pain, and your body is already trying to let go. Trust me, it's okay.”

“N-no…” Shouto whimpered, the sound breaking Izuku's heart. “Don’t make me do this…”

“You’re already doing it,” Izuku said gently. “You just need to let yourself keep doing it. I promise, Shouto, I will not think any less of you. I love you.” Izuku brought his hands down Shouto’s arms and carefully pulled his hands away from his backside, holding them lovingly like he’d done many times before. “It’ll probably feel weird and gross, but I’d rather you be uncomfortable than in pain. Please, Shouto… Just relax.”

“But…!” Shouto whined and squirmed in place. “God… I'm pathetic, aren't I?”

That Shouto could think so little of himself during a moment of vulnerability made Izuku internally rage at how Endeavor had raised Shouto. He may be a better father now, but Izuku would never be able to forget the scars that still linger on Shouto's psyche.

“No, never,” Izuku promised, squeezing Shouto’s hands. “You're only human, Shouto. Anyone could have ended up in this situation.”

Shouto shyly looked into Izuku's eyes, “Even you?”

Izuku blushed but held eye contact, “Even me.”

Shouto's legs were shaking now, and his breathing was shallow. Izuku could tell it was taking all his strength not to release right then and there.

“Do you trust me?” Izuku asked.

“More than anyone,” Shouto answered honestly.

Izuku smiled faintly, even as his heart raced with love, “Then stop holding it. Let yourself go—you'll feel so much better.”

Shouto hesitated a moment more, ducking his head shyly, “Can you…Can you help me?”

“Of course,” Izuku answered immediately—he'd do anything to help Shouto feel better. He slowly guided Shouto down into a squat, kneeling on one knee in front of him—never once releasing their handhold. “Here—spread your legs.”

Shouto’s legs were still stubbornly pressed together, the fabric of his boxers and jeans stretched taut over his backside from squatting. He looked at Izuku and asked, “You really don’t mind?”

Izuku shook his head, “Not at all.” He really didn’t. He’d be a hypocrite if he did, with the number of times he’d accidentally wet himself because he was too stubborn to just go to the bathroom during a stakeout or patrol… Thankfully, his hero suit had a liquid-proof layer that kept his accidents private.

Shouto had no way to hide this accident, so Izuku would have to take extra care to make sure Shouto was alright in the aftermath.

Shouto sighed, shaking his head in resignation, “I can’t believe I’m doing this…” He took a deep breath, holding it deep in his chest as he carefully shifted his legs apart.

“Breath, Shouto,” Izuku reminded him.

Shouto exhaled shakily, his body visibly loosening up. It wasn’t long before a soft crackling noise reached Izuku’s ears. Though his eyes remained concentrated on Shouto’s expression, he could see out of the corner of his eye the physical evidence of Shouto’s accident. A bulge gradually formed under Shouto within his jeans, though it thankfully didn’t seem to be discoloring them. Hopefully, they’d be easy to clean—Izuku knew they were one of Shouto’s favorite pairs.

It didn’t take long for the smell to reach Izuku’s nose, but again, it really wasn’t that bad to him. He could tell Shouto felt differently, as tears welled in his eyes and his breath hitched.

Izuku pulled one hand away from Shouto’s to reach up and wipe the teardrops from Shouto’s eyelashes, “Hey, you’re fine. You’re doing great, love.”

“I think I can hold the rest, Izuku…” Shouto murmured.

“Shouto…” Izuku sighed. “I think you've held it for long enough. Just let yourself finish going—it's not like it'll make much of a difference, clean up-wise.”

Shouto huffed, “But I'll have to—you know… push.”

“So what?” Izuku asked, genuinely confused. Shouto had already pooped in his pants—pushing now would just finish what his body had started out of desperation.

“If I push… it won't feel like an accident anymore,” Shouto admitted. “It'll feel like I'm doing it on purpose…”

‘Huh, I didn’t think of that. I can see why that would be a problem for someone like Shouto,’ Izuku thought.

“... Would you have chosen to poop your pants if the elevator hadn't broken?” Izuku asked after a moment of thought.

“Of course not, Izuku,” Shouto grumbled, glaring half-heartedly.

“Then you aren't doing this on purpose,” Izuku said firmly. “It's an accident, even if you help things along, because this wouldn't have happened at all if we weren't stuck in here.”

“I guess…” Shouto conceded reluctantly.

‘Victory!’ Izuku cheered mentally.

“Good, now poop,” Izuku ordered with a grin.

Izuku was quite proud of himself when Shouto giggled a little before pushing with a grunt of effort. He was even more proud of Shouto for allowing himself to keep pooping, finally clearing his backed-up system with a long series of crackles and pops that expanded the bulge underneath him. This was a nightmare situation for anyone, but for someone raised with such high expectations as Shouto was, Izuku could only imagine how hard it was to let go and allow himself to be so vulnerable, even in front of his partner.

Soon, Shouto released a low sigh filled with relief.

“Are you done?” Izuku asked.

Shouto nodded sheepishly, “Yeah.”

“...And? How do you feel?”

“...Better. So much better…” Shouto dropped his head with another sigh. “But I still can't believe I just shit myself in an elevator, while on vacation, with my boyfriend of all people…”

Izuku raised an eyebrow, “Would you rather this had happened with someone else?”

“Absolutely not,” Shouto deadpanned.

Izuku smiled in amusement, “Didn't think so.”

Shouto looked at Izuku and snorted, “You know, I was supposed to be the one kneeling down on one knee during this trip.”

Izuku froze, “Shouto…?” ‘He—what?’

Shouto shook his head and looked Izuku in the eye, still red in the cheeks, “This isn't exactly the romantic moment I was waiting for, but…”

Izuku’s breath hitched, his eyes preemptively filling with tears. ‘Is this really happening?’

Shouto continued, “Izuku, I love you. I love you so much, and you've proven to me time and time again that you love me too. We've fought by each other's side since high school, and even now—with literal crap in my pants—you continue to look at me as though I'm something special. I can't imagine not spending the rest of my life with you; so, I must ask… will you marry me?”

Izuku burst into tears, nodding frantically and squeezing Shouto’s hands so tightly he almost activated his quirk. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes—oh, Shouto…!” Izuku sobbed, before suddenly lunging at Shouto and knocking him over and onto the floor.

Shouto quickly ended up on his back with Izuku on top of him. Izuku wrapped his arms around his fiancé—his fiancé!—for a moment before pulling back to kiss Shouto. He slipped his tongue inside Shouto’s mouth, feeling Shouto respond in kind. Shouto moaned into Izuku’s mouth, arching up into him. Izuku felt his own arousal coming to the forefront, and ground his hips down to meet Shouto’s. The friction between their clothed bodies was delicious, pulling a deep groan from Izuku. Unfortunately, he wasn’t so far gone as to forget where they were. Izuku reluctantly broke the kiss, pulling back to meet Shouto’s dilated eyes.

“As much as I love you, Shouto,” Izuku panted, beaming. “We can’t celebrate our engagement in a broken-down elevator.”

Shouto snorted, “Or with shit in my pants.”

Izuku laughed, “Yeah, that too.” Now, that he had forgotten about. Somehow, it just hadn’t registered as important in the wake of Shouto’s proposal.

“How about, after we finally get back to our room and I take a shower, I propose to you properly?” Shouto suggested, smiling. “I can get down on one knee, put a ring on your finger, and then we can celebrate. Sound like a plan?”

Izuku reached up and gently caressed Shouto’s cheek, “...Yeah, the best.”

‘You’re the best, Shouto…’
 

Attachments

I've seen it, and the answer is, not very well. Can write eloquently to detail a mediocre sex scene but anything outside of hardcore sex they just can't do.
...I dunno about "eloquently" for the sex scene.

Said this earlier in the thread, but for a beginning author, writing m/m sex scenes has a lot of the same issues as writing two dudes fighting.

"Wait, whose butt?" is the same question as "wait, who's choking whom?" if an author is in over their head with matching pronouns. And then you get clunky epithets as a disambiguating mechanism, "the older man licked his lips" or "the blue-eyed man swept at his foe's ankles."
 
And then you get clunky epithets as a disambiguating mechanism, "the older man licked his lips" or "the blue-eyed man swept at his foe's ankles."
Thank you for articulating this, it's one of my pet peeves in any kind of writing but especially traditionally published, edited writing.
 
Nothing hits harder than pregnant sex. Sprinkle in some public voyeurism and statue sex and you are all good to go. Features a dick that looks like the sandworms from Beetlejuice.
sandworm-beetlejuice-character.jpg
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> The vision itself is enough to make his cock twitch in adoration at his partner
> It is alluringly tempting to have him on his cock
> We're late is because you think with your cock
We just started and we're talking about penis already? Damn. Thinking with your (lack of) cock indeed.
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> Pumping an obscene amount of blood into his throat and down between his legs
Wrong time to make a Charlie Kirk joke? He's really sticking his neck out there.
> He is denied the thin lips of Viktor
Sounds like a hard pass. You know what they say about white boys and thin lips.
> Sky keeps looking from Viktor to Jayce and back again, where she adds a knowing smile
And the first thing Jayce does is get irritated at her. Free my girl from these chopped men (and a half).
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Yeah he's glowing because he's so white the sun can reflect off him like a satellite, genius.
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> What are they understanding, which he isn't?
This doesn't make sense. 'What do they get that he doesn't?'
> Really? And it's mine?
No he fucked the random janitor. And the superintendent. And the local druggie. And DJ Spitz. Of course it's yours, you fucking retard.
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> Lists of names of previous alumni of the Academy
Taking 'fucking on their memory' literally, I see.
> Mine. You're mine now
> Only yours, fuck
Sounds more like banter in an e-sports lobby than legitimate sex talk.
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> You're so warm, just for me?
This is supposed to be sex talk, yet he sounds confused at everything.
> Then I will have you back home, coming on my cock
Wonderful. Now why do you sound confused at everything?
> In that soft warmth, Viktor forgives him for not noticing the bump growing
I assume he's very early on in the first trimester where a baby bump isn't that visible until 12 or so weeks.
> Oh my stars
Who invited Bugs Bunny? What's up, Doc?
> Grapes
Lol. Lmao.
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> The coil in him tightens and releases
Cliché.
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> Your ass has gotten softer as well
What ass?
> There's star shine
You mean his eyes are twinkling? It's a pretty description but it just sounds weird in this context.
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> With only his underwear on his bottom
*Wearing only his underwear
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> He's quite right when he says everybody will know he's pregnant
Depends. You're still pretty early in the first trimester. It's when you're past 12 weeks that things really start to show.
> They'll all know you're mine
You said that already. That's on top of the love bites declaring 'THIS BITCH IS KNOCKED UP'.
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> Mel doesn't need anything
Yeah, fuck that nigger!
> Teetering inside him, moving, filling him out
He's like a see-saw.
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> Still a kiss
*Stole a kiss
> The fingers squelch with the amount of slick
Always with the squelching and slick. Makes me think you're fingerbanging an octupus.
> Mount of curls
You mean 'mound'? Forget the Venus mound: he's going an Olympus Mons going on down there.
> It's not uncommon, someone tries to run off and fuck in a corridor or a classroom.
Use a semicolon.
> Pulls himself out that makes Viktor's mouth water feverish like
This isn't English. 'Feverish-like' doesn't make sense. Just use feverish.
> The cock itself, large, girthy and with a crooked side to the ride by the end
You're telling me he has a dick like those sandworms from Beetlejuice? Nice fucking model!
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> He collects the slick
He's gonna be the best that no one ever was
> Collects the shiny slick
That's twice. Keep going and he'll get Raichu.
> On top of Viktor's mount
*mound.
> The visual of how far up it goes gives them both an unhealthy amount of optimism
Let me guess. It goes up to his belly button.
> With a swipe from rear to front nerves
This tells me nothing. You can just say 'ass to clit'. 'Rear' is so unsexy when you can't stop describing that flat ass as full.
> With a bit more that will never see the inside of Viktor's insides
The floor is made of floor ahh sentence. In any case, the author forgets she wrote this, as he ends up going all the way in anyways.
> His fingers can't reach around Viktor's waist anymore. With the bump in the way, his thumbs can't meet
Of course it's THIS fucking line. He's just uwu so small and his hands so tiny. When I read this, I had to think if the author was referring to the baby bump or his dick bump.
> Slowly grinds against Viktor. Slowly, faster and faster
This is a contradiction. 'He slowly grinds until he picks up speed' sounds a lot better than writing it like someone just flipped a switch.
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> Keeps ramming in
We know.
> That he can reach all the way inside and get this moaning mess out of him
You wrote that he wasn't able to get all the way inside as there were a few inches he couldn't push in.
> I want them all
That isn't specific. He asked you how many kids you wanted. This is like a kid in a toy store being asked what toy they want; of course they are going to say 'all of them.'
> I can't get more in than this
We went from a few inches being left out, to going all the way inside, to him not being able to push it in. Pick a struggle.
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So glad you got your front hole and front nerves tickled. Seriously, how hard do you have to go out of your way to avoid using 'clit'? Pregnancy is fine but that isn't? You can produce all that slick like a hagfish and THAT is what sets you off? Incredible. They can use the tags no problem, but using the anatomy is demeaning. Making trans Viktor squirt like a Blastoise works too, I guess.

Fujofrankenstein has updated her public proposal gone bad fic. Witness a man undergoing the perils of rejection with lady friends ready to commit hate crimes on his behalf.
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> he can't sleep, can't eat, has called in every day for the past week
> Can't break himself to care about anything now that Viktor is gone
> It had all been Viktor
If this strikes you as a parasitic relationship and one where the brown man has no sense of self that is disconnected from the titular white (wo)man, you would be correct. I will say this, though: it would have been funny to see Vi go toe-to-toe with a trans cripple. Can't have the pink-haired lesbian commit a hate crime, now.
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> There was no one to build for. No one to be for
I really do think that these people don't care about this character. They refuse to see him as his own person and this fic just lays it out in the simplest language.
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> First time he's brushed his teeth in days
It's common for manic depressives not to bathe or brush their teeth for days or weeks on end. It's a sign of their mental illness. In this case, it's due to an unhealthy connection and a lack of established boundaries. Jayce proposed in public when he should have asked what Viktor wanted beforehand.
> Chappell Roan
Yeah, that fits. Fujo/Cleo loves every fancy, modern artist there is and Roan is a known supporter of trans causes so it's appropriate that she's referenced.
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> A woman with kind eyes and a quiet voice and Jayce decides that he hates her
She did this in her prior fic where Jayce adopted teenage Viktor. That was an Indian female therapist and she went full ham on how much she hated that bitch. This is just her inner misogyny coming out.
> I haven't showered in days, weeks maybe
Imagine the smell. I bet he looks like Gary from Team America after his vomiting stunt.
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> It's not about being destabilized. It's like the operating system has been deleted
"I can't function without a white person" is what you mean to say. And they say white people don't invent anything.
> The question blindsides him. There was no before Viktor
That's the problem. These authors cannot see him as an independent character; they view him as an extension of their white fave. They're erasing his gifts and intelligence to become this mopey, depressed bum because they get a thrill out of him.
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I don't think the author knows, either. When he isn't a groomer with BPD who tries to get a kid to take care of him, he's doing this. We're just going to brush over that misogynistic thought of his, too.
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He chose a different life pattern and his pet Mexican is acting like he burned down Tenochtitlan. How pathetic. I'd say this if he were a woman, too.
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> I read about codependency
> Has the emotional foundation of a house of cards
It's always nice reading about male borderlines/bipolars and how utterly unstable they are. The only thing they're missing are the mood swings and violent tendencies. People love projecting their moods onto him and this is one example. The author was sexually abused as a child and decided to 'vent' with her Barbies. This might not be pedophilia, but it's still bad for how OOC it is.
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> Be a pooner
> Join a transgender group chat
> They're his only friends
> Not even his boyfriend is as close to him as they are
> Cannot cook for himself
> Is a moody piece of shit
Wow, look at all those boxes being ticked off. Oh, I have to say this: if this is taking place in California, he's going to be very limited on what he can get done because California has so many regulations it isn't funny. They wanted to build a monorail there with a French company but it took a decade just for approval and the French just built one in North Africa instead. The more you know.
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> Intense, frantic fear of abandonment
> Borderline personality disorder
We'll just cut the nastier parts of it out because we can't have this guy become abusive, can we? That's only for our age gap fics, right Cleo?
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> He's even doing the goddamn BPD workbook
Borderlines usually pop up in their teenage years. If his mother was keen on his mood swings he would have gotten tested then. He's also not very anti-social, either, so this is just a disorder people love throwing out on a whim. They see 'oh this guy is traumatized and impulsive, he's just like me!' when male borderlines tend to be absolute pieces of shit. They never talk about the narcissistic element of it. I do wonder why.
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> Was any of it real for you?
It probably was, but as you're a borderline every word is going to be seen as an attack. That's why the public proposal - that your partner didn't even want or was aware of - was seen more as an affront to his feelings than Viktor's own. That is where the narcissistic part comes in.
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Sounds codependent and unhealthy, but that's the MO of male borderlines. They are physically incapable of letting go. Rather than this be a character flaw that raises your hackles, it's just seen as cute and silly - the way it would if a woman wrote it. Female borderlines are told to internalize their feelings. Males just don't get diagnosed as much despite having far worse symptoms and behaviours.
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"Your son has a mood disorder and the author forgot that it shows up differently in men than in women. I'm actually a narcissistic piece of shit and lost my marbles when the love of my live rejected me. I would be a stalker if MY feelings weren't hurt. Aren't you proud, mama?"
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I hate both of these characters. The 'cis' man is a borderline who thinks every disagreement is an attack on is person and thinks a public proposal being rejected is like the Alamo being lost to the Texans. The trans man can't be a man and tell his borderline pet that he's moving to California for a new job that includes new pay with a rival company for technology they do/do not hold the patents to. Hope you like San Francisco's shit maps, buddy. It'll be great for your health.
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I don't know what's worse: him passing out, or him getting sick and dying in San Francisco. He'd have better luck - and it'd be cheaper - getting stabbed with needles from a bunch of angry bums. He'd get the real POZ-itivity on that side of town.

As part of this BigBang, we're gonna teach some stuck up rubes some manners by Sticking It To the Man! If you can handle characters more limp-wristed and useless than a pool noodle, that is.
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It's canon that Viktor did steal an Academy uniform and snuck his way inside the Academy before being noticed by Heimerdinger. This takes a different approach by making him a limp-wristed baby once cops confront him over trespassing.
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Should've told them to come back with a warrant while he gets his lawyer. Viktor would normally be a bit more savvy and guarded than this, but no. We're really going with the moody sumbitch because it makes him more relatable.
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This dialogue is absolutely cringe. Yes, I get these Enforcers are supposed to be big meanies, but how am I supposed to take them seriously if they can't even say any hard slurs? They don't care if they bully cripples because they do it all the time. That kind of moral posturing isn't going to work on them.
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> My research will bring us closer to equal
The classic 'I'LL SHOW THEM WHAT'S WHAT' nerdy threat. Until you start building Ace Combat-style superweapons, no one is going to be phased.
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> There was not a force in the world that could stop him from continuing his research
> Had his research stopped due to Enforcers
Lol. Lmao.
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> At least he had some scrap of dignity left
He was a wanted criminal and the Enforcers just...let him walk away? That was the first issue. The second was him not even bothering to try to defend himself when Heimerdinger was right there. Liability is right: if you can't stand for yourself, who on earth do you stand for?
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> I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me
> Clearly gives a shit what everyone thinks about him because he just said he was a liability
It's only the first chapter.
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Silco is one of the top Chembarons in the Undercity. While he might not have been known Topside at this point, he was well known as a drug smuggler. Viktor, being a Zaunite, would absolutely know who he is.
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> What does this have to do with me?
He just told you. You're a genius and Zaun needs that genius to build things to make the two cities equal. You said that yourself, remember?
> Or you, for that matter?
He's a Chembaron? That's his job?
> The poison in our air, our water, our bodies
You said that three times already.
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> I would not say I went there to escape
You did, though? You went there for an opportunity. That's a form of escapism.
> He didn't know much about Silco
He should, considering he's an industrialist. Yeah, he's starting out NOW but people in the Lanes know who he is.
> He wasn't a snitch
Of course not.
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> Kingdom of Zaun
First it was 'the nation of Zaun', now it's a kingdom, even though no one is crowned a king in either city. Piltover is based on Venice's merchant clans and Zaun is run by gangs. There is no monarchy in either place.
> I am the undercity
Real "I am the Senate" vibes. Least Viktor knows who he is, now.
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Saying it three times and knocking your heels together will totes make it true.
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> People were ignorant and scared of magic
On the contrary: Piltover was founded to escape mages. This isn't hatred due to ignorance but familiarity.
> Do they all have different runes?
This man spent his youth traveling the world studying runes. How the fuck does he not know what they are?
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> Pathetic stray animal
It wouldn't be a Jayvik fic without the animal metaphors for Jayce. All he's missing is a shock collar.
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> I have no idea what is going on in that city
This is the same guy who'd given Jayce tours of the Council chambers. He knows what goes on in that city even if he doesn't look like. This is a man who knows the tea.
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> She didn't stand up for him at all
Did he expect her to? He just blew up the apartment she bought for him. She does have a right to be suspicious. However, she was one of the few who DID stand up for him in the show and said he was a brilliant kid, just misguided. None of these characterizations are good.
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> Didn't have anything illegal the Council knew about
> Admits that there were illegal things in his apartment but they were stolen anyways
Logic.
> They didn't look like expensive gems
Who are you kidding? They look like raw blue diamonds and are Shuriman crystals; OF COURSE THEY ARE VALUABLE. He wouldn't have wasted his time getting them or bartering for them if he knew they weren't.
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> I don't know anything about the Undercity
Yes and no. He knows that's where you go to get information on illegal stuff. If he didn't know a little bit about it, Ekko would not have scoped him out and snitched to Violet that his apartment needed to be raided.
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In the show Powder's backpack ends up in the river, and she doesn't get it because the water is too toxic to swim in. In this case, the bag never went in the water/was pulled back up by someone who didn't grab the crystals for themselves. It is also a matter of convenience that Powder stole his journal as well when that wasn't remarked upon by Jayce earlier.
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> Spent years working for him
And yet, he had no idea who he was before.
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The funny thing is, the gang that attacked Vi's gang all worked for Silco. They would've corroborated the fact that Powder had stolen something valuable. Are we going to address that fact? Nope.
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> Doesn't want to use weapons
> Makes a giant hammer that shoots laser projectiles
OK, bud.
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I was gonna say: is Jayce going to be here when Grayson gets whacked, or is there going to be a twist? Turns out, there's a twist, and Viktor is in that bar totally not being suspicious wearing a white hood (no, there's no pointy end to it, stop thinking like that).
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There's art for this:
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Not great, not terrible. He looks like a whitewashed Ringwraith, lmao.
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In this iteration, he doesn't go down there to barter for goods to help with his research, even though that was the entire cause of Ekko trailing him in the first place. Therefore, it means he DID go to Benzo's shop to get those items, and the author forgot about it; or, he did not and the author has a massive plot hole as Ekko has no way of knowing Jayce is wealthy and can be ripped off.
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The sudden POV change threw me off. Should've kept with Jayce's POV.
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> Are they sending Enforcers to harass cripples now?
Yeah, they can and will, because nothing stopped them from killing people on the bridge during the riot. You being crippled wouldn't change that.
> Knuckles turning white
> White-knuckled grip
Glad his knuckles can do that twice.
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This is supposed to be a light BDSM fic and yet there's no 'dom' attitude coming from Jayce. I assume this will change once Chapter 6 comes around, but there's nothing so far that indicates that's his personality. If not for their names, they would be completely different people.
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> It's you
> What's me?
Sounds like something from an Edgar Wright movie. Now I gotta see the smut and the art for it, because if the writing is this bad, the art and smut has gotta be bad, too.

I don't think I've ever read something that sounds like it was narrated by Colonel Sanders, but here you go. From the same author who has a fetish for making people human toilets.
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> Hooting and a hollering knot of people bunched right round a corner table
Silco, the POV character, does not talk like this. At all. This sounds like an even trashier version of IWTV where Jacob Anderson, try as he might, can't nail down a Louisiana accent.
> Filed his polished nails into real claws
Sounds like he was never a 'broken soul' to begin with - unless you count the incest thing.
> His bright-eyed little brother waiting on him hand and foot
Funny how this keeps happening to trans men.
> Cum-drunk stupor
Everything else has a southern accent, but there are no Southern idioms for semen. Interesting.
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> His doe-eyed lil bro
Yeah there isn't a shotacon reference to this at all, no sir. Even though this character is not 'doe-eyed' and is actually older than the giant purple penis monster over here.
> Spreading his legs like a real hooker, revealing his wet hole to the onlooker's delight
Implying he isn't a prostitute already.
> He pulls his cock out next, and that thing is an abomination in itself, let alone lined up against the wife's small cunt
A man with a Grimace cock ready to spread open his tiny waifu's vagina? We're ticking off all the boxes here. We've got barely legal lil doods who can be misgendered on a whim provided you've got an eggplant dick, and said eggplant dick haver having the same anatomy as the evil colonist from Pocahontas. Is he going to belt into song about how this is revenge for Columbus?
> Fat purple head bullies its way inside and the boy's plastered grin wobbles
How young is Viktor in this? Glad you asked, because an age isn't given. When he isn't having his ass being pissed in the author flexes her shotacon skills.
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> Boy's back bowing into a painful looking bend
Disability doesn't exist when it comes time to taking 14 inches 💅
> Like a good little boy, his wife is agreein'
One of these things is not like the other. Force-femming a trans man is OK when WE do it, sweaty. Stop treating our clearly hetslop work as hetslop!
> Soaks the luxurious fur coat with pungent piss
Hope he's got an enzyme cleanser. I bet you that waifu with a tiny pussy - does he have 'protuberant pussy lips, by any chance? - has a UTI and that's why the urine smells. Nothing like handing out STIs like your dick is Grimace handing out Happy Meals.

Did you like this rootin' tootin' hollerin' Southern fic? I say, I say boy, you just don't have the brains to understand such literature, boy!

BTW, these were the Kinktober prompts for this month.
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I know exactly who is going to be the baby trapper ad who is going to be the prey on Day 21. Same with day 19.

Also, that is a woman on the left. The hips, the butt, the angles...that's all woman, baby. They aren't even trying to hide it at this point.

Earlier ITT I covered a wildly popular fic called 'Machine 4 Man'. Even if you had no interest in reading it, it became infamous for lines such as 'unblooded girlchild', 'athletic anal' and other witticisms such as 'lube poured down his thighs like diarrhea'. An artist, so moved by these lines, decided to get a tattoo of one of the lines from said fic. It wasn't the ones listed above, because that would be too cringeworthy to wear on your skin.
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I can see why 'unblooded girlchild' might not look good, considering it sounds like something Jeffrey Epstein would wear on a t-shirt.

I HAD to post this: MGCraig got one of her piss kink fics plagiarized and was devastated AO3 allowed it to happen.
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Her Dom triggers were not activated.
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Luckily, the plagiarized fic was deleted. She can rejoice in her piss kink again.
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That 'adopt a human' Omegaverse has been updated. Our white Kunta Kinte is getting around, finally.
The author apologizes for this chapter not being beta-read, as their totally masc dood is having their period and as such, does not have the mental faculties to do manly things like reading and editing. I doubt I'll notice a difference.

Jayce celebrates his breakthroughs both with his research and with 'breaking in' Viktor, by announcing that Viktor's 'eccentricities' are slowly fading away. It doesn't occur to him that this is a result of being born a second-class citizen and how bizarre it would be to buy one from a pet shop. Viktor takes to his journal vigorously, and Jayce approves - but not without wanting to see what his human slave has to say. He's progressive, he swears! You just can't keep all of your secrets from the alpha male, because only alpha males can have independent thoughts. He praises Viktor for his cleaning skills - disability notwithstanding - and for cleaning up his hoard of books. He finds the journals he owned when he was younger that were annotated by Ekko, before casually saying that Ekko, the token black kid, is illiterate. Nice.

We get a look into how this society operates. Omegas are not even allowed journals because their thoughts and actions should be subservient to their alphas.
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> Acquired through regular means
Regular meaning...? What, a slave market?
> They often produce what is often referred to as a blank-slate omega
And what are alphas, by contrast? Noble savages? Because if we're really going by that, alphas CHOOSE to retain power through their means and they CHOOSE to take others as slaves. There's no Biblical excuse or biological excuse to explain why they are superior, they just are.
> That same inner alpha, was one again his undoing. Far too late did he realise that his pride had manifested audibly
AKA he was purring too loud and the omega got spooked. Alpha males purr, grumble and vocalize their thoughts like they're PC hardware trying to play Battlefield 6.
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> The notebook belonged to him given that he was his guardian
It's not slavery because it's omegaverse, sweaty~~ Stop thinking too hard on how awful this is, IT'S TRUE FUCKING LOVE, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

Mel arrives, and she smells like apricot, plum, and honeyed amber. She's there to make sure everything's going well. Jayce is star-struck and appears to treat her well (for once) because it'd be terrible optics for a black woman to be a slave. She's there for the runic matrix diagrams, and Jayce has a moment where he doesn't know where they are until he gets a Eureka moment thanks to Viktor's notebook hanging out of his pocket. He goes back to the storeroom where Viktor was hiding in Chapter 2 and finds what he's looking for. The scene ends, and we move on to learning about how Viktor is becoming very good at finding hiding spots like he's a mole trying to scurry away from sunlight.
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> Newfound ability to hide
> Only comes out with the promise of food
Damn, he really is like a raccoon.
> The original intention was for Viktor to take responsibility for cooking completely
Of course. Omegas are tradwives but made ~acceptable~ with all the misogynistic shit associated with such expectations viewed in a more 'positive' light. It's Just Biology that you need to get on your knees for Daddy and Scrub Daddy.
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> Practically catatonic but loose-limbed enough that he could be carried
And none of that is viewed with concern because human beings who act like that are immensely traumatized. What's his solution? Hand feed him like he's a dog.
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> Surely the shelter didn't charge you an adoption fee?
I love how he just appears out of a hole from nowhere before Salo starts talking like he's a squirrel searching for nuts.
> A soft hand wrapped around his curled fist
Took me a minute to realize that's Viktor's hand doing it and not Salo's.
> An angry alpha rarely boded well for their omega
You don't say. They'll get into fist fights, rip each other's throats out with their teeth, have terrible testicular tantrums (literally, their balls/pheromones give off insane smells) and maybe rape someone here or there. There are no laws stopping this because alphas hold all the power. What a world.
> The growling had stopped. The growling that came from his own body
They growl like wolves, hoard food like crocs, and rape like chimpanzees. Even pigs have better manners.
> Fresh laundry, milky, lavender
So he smells like a Chinese laundromat. Nice.
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> The thought of someone looking at him and not feeling a sense of empathy, of horror at the cruelty he'd been subject to...was incomprehensible
....you literally bought him from a fucking pet shop. Bought like he was dog thrown aside from a former owner and you needed to rehome him. How fucking blind can you be to how shitty you make things sound?
> Viktor's scent was incredible
Does he still smell like a Chinese laundromat?
> The view of his creamy, unmarked nape
Creamy, white, pale, milky, pale, white, alabaster, ivory, creamy, white, pale, swan-neck, white, moon-like, white, pale, white...you get it, yet?

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> It would be awful if this set them back from the many steps of progress they'd made
THAT is an issue, but not you buying a literal human at a pet shop. There's no fixing this retardation.

Viktor collapses before he can go to bed. Jayce wonders how long he's been keeping this a secret and wonders if he can get him to talk, but all he gets is wheezes. He noticed him being 'peaky' earlier, but him being a white boi this wasn't a cause for concern. He hand feeds him soup like a baby and lets him rest, hoping nothing bad will come of it. Jayce has to order him to stay in bed and rest and not clean or cook like the trad, obedient housewife he's meant to be. He does recover over a few days and Sky says it's probably just a cold. He's well enough on a Wednesday to cook a nice home meal, and this happens:
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> Crawled dejectedly across the floor
> Thinks about how much he looks like a cat
Nothing like forcing a disabled man to crawl on his hands and knees while calling yourself a progressive.
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He apologizes for 'not being clear', when the biggest issue is how an omega doesn't even feel safe to eat on their own, even in secret, without fear of reprisals. All this man is missing is the title, 'Overseer'. Not to worry, he gets to ask Viktor if he can come back to the Academy with him, and he agrees, so we're all good!

...until this happens.
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> Says she's more progressive than other Councilors
> Still believes in traditional 'secondary gender roles' and thinks omegas only exist to shit out pups
So she's really no different than our alpha male, here.
> They'd taken measures to improve their well-being
That clearly doesn't include abolishing the sale of humans in pet shops. That's more than a wee oversight.
> You adopted him from a rescue shelter
See point above.
> Barely managed to keep the growls at the perceived insults towards his omega at bay
Is he going to start fist-fighting a woman? Do protections exist on the basis of sex, gender, or secondary gender? I must know.
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> He'll never be able to bear pups if you don't take better care of him
Progressive indeed. Nothing like forcing a subset of humanity into a role that you claim is biologically ordained and that their sole purpose is to gestate and raise children while alphas get to enjoy the fruits of their labour and the wide world itself...wait, what are we basing this on, again?
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> The coughing fits start at lunch time
> He previously did not eat at lunch time
> It's clearly not a viral disease but a persistent one based on an underlying condition
Sorry, uh, um, we're gonna talk, like, Justin Trudeau, sorry, um, well, look I'm trying to be serious here, we're gonna stop buying people from pet shops um, we believe in equality here uh, sorry, 50/50 parity, if you fight your alphas your alphas win.
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?? The fuck? Sounds like 'quagga', a subspecies of horse/zebra that went extinct in South Africa. Also very close to MAGA but we can't have it be Make Alphas Gay Again. We are TRADITIONAL in this house!

Who wants a bath with Mage Hitler? We do, we do! If you can handle the shitty formatting you, too, can enjoy this erotic massage on the top of an apocalyptic Mount Olympus. The lines for this fic are:
- the man leaned in and wrapped his lips around the fat clit that emerged from between the curvy folds. Sure, this didn't look like the standard pussy
- whining like a kicked puppy while pumping him full of his dick.
- The gummy walls of his pussy were even greedier now

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> As if he was a beautiful painting
He still looks like Asmongold.
> Pale palm
We know he's white, thank you.
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Nice that he has a somewhat clean apartment in his pocket dimension. Hopefully it looks nothing like his lookalike in that he has wild roaches climbing on him.

We get a minor flashback of Viktor working on the Hexcore and how he gets 'distracted' by Jayce there and the Hexcore reacts violently to his ministrations, sending a burst of energy up towards the ceiling. No one is harmed because of Jayce's massive man tits, and all he can think of is being lovesick for his lil guy. Turns out that the room he was placed in is the same lab in the flashback, cracked ceiling and all, and we get some more character development from Asmonviktor.
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> I don't care for other timelines
And that's the problem: you totally don't care but you doom them anyways, creating cosmic genocide on an unknown scale and getting away with it because you got to engage in a homoerotic pose with your 'partner'. People really will give passes to their white faves, eh?
> If only I could bring back enough flesh into Jayce's hollow statue
You can't. He's Hexcorized; Shimmer won't do shit. His flesh is made of stone now and it cannot be reversed. Maybe you should ask instead why he can't just use his reality-warping abilities to do it but that's contradictory.
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> Not a mistake, a crime
*War crimes
> If I am not here, who will send you home to your mother and to your future?
This could have all been avoided had you not given him the rune as a kid. This is a bootstrap paradox.
> Perhaps Jayce was biased, but he didn't think he deserved such a fate
He is biased and Viktor DOES deserve that fate, it's just that the fandom gives him so much more slack because he is their tumblr white man. They won't hold him accountable, but characters like Sky will be killed on a whim just because.

Jayce instantaneously forgives Viktor because he 'could never hold a grudge' and happily indulges in the fruits and figs Viktor offers him. He grabs his 'slender wrist' to keep him from walking away. Jayce has to re-learn how to use the showers - and admits he doesn't even WANT to bathe - and Viktor says he likes his new caveman-hobo look.
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> Jayce had been right there, breathing and perfect. At the start he belonged to Viktor
Already we're out here with the 'this man is my property and he can't live without me' characterization, which is something endemic in this fandom. He is a grown ass man. Give him his independence.
> People like Salo or half of the fucking council could destroy lands for personal profit
That's exactly what you did. Do you not remember the Hexgate fail safe that was leaking radiation into the Undercity?
> Jayce was one of the few people who was trying to keep the rich at bay, make lives better, mostly at his own expense
That's not true, either. He was from an upper middle class family and wasn't exactly poor. Second, his inventions weren't to IMPROVE lives but to improve WORKING CAPABILITY. He was never about cleaning the air like Sky was. He was just trying to make miners work harder.
> Constant panic attacks behind the curtains
Why am I not surprised?
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> His beauty not at all tainted by age
He just looks like an old leather chair while having Asmongold's face.
> Arcane claimed the pale skin beautifully
So he magically got his flesh back, but can't give stone-man Jayce his own flesh back? Logic.
There's a brief argument on how Jayce doesn't feel regret on saving Viktor and how dead things don't feel emotion because Viktor exists in a Schrodinger state where he isn't sure if he's dead or alive. How does he solve this? Sex, of course.
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> Not once had he thought about this part of life
Wiping out billions will kill your sex drive. Who knew?
> Not something he imagined doing at his humble over sixty years old
That's it? Thought you'd be older. Still not older than the Roach King.
> You feel so alive on top of me right now
This dialogue makes me want to inject myself with the G-virus.
> Big hands
There're the Yeti punchers!
> When you're perfect
This should be included with a semicolon.
> Viktor would look like a porcelain doll
He's just so fragile and cute.
> Mapping out every crease of slick skin
This makes me think his genitalia is comparable to that of a harbour seal. I do not become convinced otherwise when the author keeps going with this.
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> I've heard these sounds only in my wet dreams
Men don't talk like this. Most people in general don't talk like this.
> His hand was drenched in juices that sparkled with arcane patterns
Magical pussy juice. Who knew? MLP fans have new competition.
> What a hungry man Jayce Talis was.
A hungry hungry hippo, more like.
> A great lover too and they had only just started
> Great lover
> Has sex lines that make Stifler seem like a sex god
> Talks about wet dreams when people drop those terms when they're thirteen
This man can make Rosie O'Donnell go straight, I'm sure.
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You forgot white. Where are all the descriptions talking about his pale skin?

Jayce wakes up and finds Viktor writing at his desk, clearly in a 'Do Not Touch Me' mood. He asks if Jayce is ready to be sent back as he has 'overstayed his welcome' - the author writes it as 'overstated' - and while Jayce is reminiscing about all the good times they had and how special Viktor is to him, Viktor asks Jayce to kill him. This rips him out of his reverie and angers him, with him remarking 'You think you can just leave?' which is a valid complaint. Viktor weaponized his hammer even further - with corrupted magic no doubt - and now he wants the easy way out.
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> You think you can just leave?
Good question. You don't get to back out of this.
> You said you love me, you care for me! You think I'm the villain who deserves this?
YES. You killed BILLIONS because of your eugenics cult and you doomed other timelines. Even Thanos didn't do that shit; he did it to HIS universe and HIS alone. You're worse than the Flood, the Combine or the Reapers. At least the Reapers gave advanced warning and the Flood didn't attack people that didn't have a high civilization!
> It is your fault
Wisest words ever spoken.
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I love the tonal whiplash. We go from arguing one minute to being supportive the next. Can you at least TRY to be consistent?
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> Why didn't the mage heal his leg then?
Good question. It's because he wanted him to suffer to 'get in the right mind' to kill his Viktor. He loves him so much he'll let an Arcane corruption eat him alive.
> Did you not trust me with taking responsibility?
I wouldn't. That's like me trusting Demo Lovato to not do drugs.
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> Now closer to a machine to a human
So you already failed, nice. All of this shit is for nothing.
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*Troupe
Interesting how NONE of the Enforcers are shocked to see him or asked where he's been considering that Piltover is under martial law. Not one of them reports to Cait. Isn't that weird?

What's also weirder is that Mage Viktor brings up the 'clone paradox' in that this version of him and the OG version of Viktor are going to see each other and not freak the fuck out because Reasons. He wants to 'save' this world and give it a future. I also noticed that the dialogue has devolved into snarky Joss Whedon style, because Jayce says that Viktor's commune looks like 'a trap in a golden wrapper'. He notices how the people are 'off' and unreactive to his presence because he isn't totally mind-raped as he was in Ep 7. He sees his Viktor and goes goo-goo eyed at how ethereal and beautiful he is. Of course, this also is a trap because Viktor wants to 'heal' Jayce and our boy here is having none of it.
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This really is a Joss Whedon plot, holy shit. Nothing like introducing paradoxes to end a paradox you created all because you couldn't not give a rune to a kid.
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> Whoa, such a dominant, condescending tone
> If only he could be the one kneeling down
Imagine thinking about sucking dick when you're trying to prevent an apocalypse. Like whoa, man, calm down. Your dick doesn't need to jump the border.
> Viktor was always stubborn, pushing through blatant classism
> Setting up a system that was somehow worse
Yes, mass eugenics and genocide does have a nastier ring, doesn't it? It makes it even more sinister when said instigator goes 'I dindu nuffin!' when pressed about it.
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> Is this where you've been this entire time?
I am legit as confused as you are.
> I wish I was here
Who is 'we'? Which Viktor are we talking to? The OG one?
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> I brought him with
*I brought him with me
> The man tagged the Herald close, sealing their lips together
Holy fuck, they're gonna bang already? I actually spat out my drink a little when I read this. The tonal shifts are incredible.
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This dialogue, man. It's fucking terrible.
> It is a shame to let all this power go to waste
Who knew that a good dick could prevent genocide? Someone tell Ben-Gvir that.
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> Large tan hands
We always need a reminder on how big his hands are.
> Before his transformation, Viktor definitely had less of a curvy build
He still doesn't have one. Suggesting he's curvy means you're admitting he's actually female.
> Both Viktors were making small sounds, clearly fighting for dominance
Not this line! We don't need 'tongues fighting for dominance', homie!
> With Mel he tried to be a patient lover
White pussy sure does have that effect. Makes you lose your mind and want to commit cosmic genocide just to get it. Black girls could never.
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We can handle genocide, eugenics, class and race warfare and calling a black woman a monkey...but we don't tolerate shaving pubes around here! That is the real war crime! Call the UN and tell them that shaving pubes needs to be up there with state-mandated famine!
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> He had already had sex with Viktor once
Thank god it was quick. This time it's going to be far, far worse.
> Mmmm Viktor I'm
Are you having sex or winning at the claw machine?
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> Being over thirty all of his orgasms counted
You're still young. Unless that Arcane corrupted fucked up your cum - and I'm sure it did - you can still get it up.
> He actually had a problem keeping his dick down around his partner
White pussy will do that.
> Do you have the parts for it
I love the implication that the only compatible parts for a penis is a vagina. You heard it, folks: penis-in-vagina is natural, normal, and healthy sex. Anything else is an abomination and we don't like that.
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> Human and pale
We know he's white, thank you.
> Fat clit that emerged from between the curvy folds
'Curvy folds'? I have never heard of a 'curvy pussy' in my life.
> This didn't look like the standard pussy
No because this was edited in Photoshop. Also, this is a real line.
> A string of purplish saliva
They jut got done eating Haribo sugar-free gummy bears. The resulting explosion will not come from their ass.
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> Mmm feels warmer than usual
I'm sure you keep the internal temperatures of standard pussies on hand, eh?
> His pussy was pulsating, massaging him and milking everything it could
A literal fleshlight.
> He could see a little bump in Viktor's tummy
Stop using 'tummy', it makes you look retarded.
> The Herald's ass was pressed nearly against Jayce's heavy balls
Let me guess. They're bigger than ripe tomatoes and his dick is larger than a squash. We won't focus on proper storytelling but we CAN talk about how magic vagina is like a gummy bear!
> How did you manage to screw Medarda when you're ready to cum just from putting your cock in? Usually I hold on better
AKA 'My white pussy is better than that nigger pussy. It can literally save the world. White pussy pride worldwide!'
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> I have spent too much time being in someone's shadow, being overlooked and having you be taken away from he
"My white pussy is better than nigger pussy" v2.
> Ahhh Mmmm
Peak sex talk right there.
> Whining like a kicked puppy while pumping Viktor full of his dick
Whining like Kaya while getting shocked, you mean?
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> Gummy walls of his pussy
I was not joking about vaginas being compared to gummy bears. These authors always come up with the wildest ways to describe female genitalia while going out of their way to not call it female genitalia. This author will now be known as the 'gummy pussy' author.
> Pussy oozing even more slick to ease the way for Jayce's cock
If only LA Beast ate this instead of his sugar-free Haribo gummy bear challenge.
> He pushed his dick in as far as possible, right against the greedy womb
> There was so much cum that it started dripping out
The Hispanic Hog has a horse dick and ejaculates like one, go figure. But now I gotta wonder: does that 'gummy pussy' absorb it like a Bounty towel or does it just become a wet mess like a Haribo gummy bear after it evacuates one's bowels?

If you're wondering whether there was any solution to the paradoxes in this fic and whether the world was saved...you don't really get one. That was all thrown out the moment our Hispanic Hog whipped out that Thick n Veiny and decided to stick it in magical, glittery gummy pussy. The best part of these fics is that none of my words are exaggerated; they really do end up like this.
There is art for this fic. It's as terrible as you can imagine.
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Surely it's not that bad saar, it can't get any worse -
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Hope you like your nipple pus and blubber! Nice body for a man who was starving in a pit for six months. Least that dick looks somewhat human - but it still resembles the Beetlejuice sandworm.

Prettybadmagic has stuck to her roots by making her 'fave' a dog again, and has leaned wholly into the Fetlife puppy play dynamic. Woe be the white woman who gets racial accusations thrown at her, she'll just double down and become her own Barbecue Becky. No telling if people will tattoo lines of her fic on their arms with this one. She has decided to go all-out with the barely there zoophilia.

As expected from this author, a real Colleen Hoover-4chan ADHDemon baby, her lines are not exaggerated. These are the boner-fuels for this fic:
- The only thought in Viktor's head is woof. Whew, doggy. Atta boy.
- His dick is enormous. He has the physique of a gym bro, bronzed and hairless. Golden_boy does not miss any trips to the groomer, being so clean shaven with a fade suited for the hall of barbery fame.
- He has masculine, architectural bone structure with a square jaw and a sturdy brow that would make incels piss themselves.
- Now there's a pet he would like to swaddle in a network of knots, his dick a bloated, red cucumber leaking juice like a burbling spring.
- Put him beneath a chair with the seat cut out for forcible pussy devourment.
- Back to the high school days of wearing a too-tight binder on his pancake chest and wondering if the closeted jocks accepted him as a man or not. So he's truly cock and balls deep in the insecurity cesspool, the black chasm of cisheteronormative body politics.
- His personality irl could be scores different from his world's goodest boy facade.
- likes to think it screams composed dom, but he's not hairy, buff, or intimidating enough to give daddy upon first glance. It's hard when daddy wants to both call the shots and get railed within an inch of his life.
- But he looks handsome. Clean cut. Fuckable, even. Though he may not be ace, he's likely demi, requiring a somewhat of a personality connection before boarding the train to pound town.
- offering to the ADHDemons
- More radiant, because he’s life-sized and warm and smelly like mainstream deodorant.
- He packs so much meat in that silly banana hammock it never stood a chance to hide itself.
- He was not lying about taking direction, which continues to operate as boner fuel
- prime blowjob position
- But it seems you're trying your best to give me genital heatstroke.
- stealing an omegaverse style sniff of his soap and natural body odor
- the entire affair bonks him on the head with a horny hammer, dizzying him.
- No, a dogman fell out of the sky attuned to his exact horny wavelength.
- Is that what you want? A little puppy orgasm?
- it is no shocker than he’s nutting, given the fortitude of his dick’s pulsations between them
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> Fursonas and collars encouraged
Great, so it's Michigan Fur Fest but private.
> A good friend of the animal kingdom - both in his sexual and private life
We're taking the 'white girls fuck dogs' thing seriously, aren't we?
> Suspended from the ceiling before a theoretical skinning
Accurate description of this fic and its Colleen Hoover witticisms.
> He isn't asexual
He is canonically. But we might as well make him a trans furry zoologist who has a thing for dogs. Man, we really are ticking off all the boxes, aren't we?
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> Woof. Whew, doggy. Atta boy
Please serve yourself a helping of shotgun mouthwash.
> His dick is enormous.
Of course. We can't have the bottom be 'properly equipped' can we? M4M had them roughly equal in size and that seems to be a one-and-done deal.
> He has the physique of a gym bro, bronzed and hairless
> He has masculine, architectural bone structure that would make incels piss themselves
PBM has always loved poking fun at 4chan culture while sounding like a 4chan user herself. She loves using the 'trendy' lingo to sound 'based' but writing an entire fic about a white woman fucking a dog isn't the own you think it is.
> A man that handsome and strong having the online persona of a docile dog
This author really, really has a dog fetish and she keeps proving it with each fic she publishes.
> His dick is a bloated, red cucumber leaking juice like a burbling spring
All of these lines are 100% real. I do not make them up.
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> Put him beneath a chair with the seat cut out for forcible pussy devourment
PBM isn't really exact with the tags, but Viktor does seem to be trans in this. You'll learn more in the next screenshot.
> He won't feel shy about locating the restroom
If not, give him a shock collar and summon Hasan. Everything will be made right.
> There are not enough woofs and barks to encapsulate Viktor's interest in this man
Shut the fuck up. Genuinely.
> His favourite g-spot vibrator and fucks into himself until he creates a puddle on a towel beneath his ass cheeks
This was a line that made me go, 'is he trans in this?' Turns out she didn't tag it.
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> Anti-anxiety medication
Of course. It doesn't affect his sex drive either because that would be a real Debbie Downer, gnomesayin?
> You're on the sexual marketplace and you might not get bought
Nothing about you not buying someone instead. Be the white woman you are and fuck that dog!
> Wearing a too-tight binder on his pancake chest
And that was the first sign of, 'yeah', that's a woman. Second was the 'closeted jocks accepting him as a man or not'. What do you mean closeted? They're just fucking a woman. They'll nod their heads and go 'yeah yeah, sure' to get easy pussy because you're easy, simple as.
> The black chasm of cisheteronormative body politics
Penis-in-vagina sex, especially giant dick-in-tiny-vagina sex, IS HETERONORMATIVE. Now take your Colleen Hoover and shove it up your ass so you can find the g-spot you don't have up there.
> Likes to think it screams composed dom, but he's not hairy, buff, or intimidating enough to give daddy upon first glance
You just look like a nerd who's trying to sell me car insurance.
> It's hard when daddy wants to both call the shot and get railed within an inch of his life
You still look like you're trying to sell me car insurance and the best 'fucking' you'll do is stick the stick shift up your hooha.
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> Clean cut. Fuckable, even
No.
> She has enough manic rizz to make any anxious bean feel comfortable in their lack of contribution to a social circle
Fucking off yourself with these shitty lines, PBM Hoover. 'Unblooded girlchild' was bad enough, now this?
> Silco, Jinx's keeper
We're going with Jilco too, now? OK.
> A few ponies, some poodling furries, even a mermaid
Someone invited the MLP fans, I see.
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> An offering to the ADHDemons
Can't decide whether I want to tell the author to fuck off again or put it on a t-shirt. I suppose I can do both.
> One second away from sobbing so hard he pukes
Better loosen up that binder, lil dood, so you can fit in among the real men.
> He's life-sized and warm and smelly like mainstream deodorant
Really has the 'we both laugh at our son's big balls' attitude, doesn't it? Colleen Hoover meeting 4chan is something I never expected, but here we are.
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> It's like a Greek God decided to get teleport(ed) into the future and get freaky with it
I'll pay big money for someone to cosplay as Kratos, stuff him in a cage, and set him on fire like you could with that guy in the first game (fun fact: that scene is only available in the NA version of the game. It's censored in other versions).
> Maddie is a friend, an equally fastidious transfemme
Great, she trooned out the evil ginger, too. She's a quirky, double-crossing natal female in the show. Now she's just a dude.
> Four flowers sat in a diamond shape framing her breasts. She looks like a kinky bouquet
I like how there's more emphasis on the art of rope binding than about the transfemme getting hung from the ceiling. What? It's for ART this time around. A different kind of 41%.
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> He gives Jayce a wimpy, damp handshake and a dearth of eye contact
You can't be a daddy dom if you can't look someone in the eyes and smile. Even boomers can do that.
> Manually corrects himself staring at Jayce's tits or his pronounced bulge
Any guesses as to how big he is in this one? He was 8 inches in M4M, Viktor seven.
> Viktor's body reacts by giving him an erection
Well know, I have to know if this is an actual dick here or a clit.
> Thank God for his dick's discretion, a blessing Jayce doesn't share.
Again, is this a micropenis or a clit?
> He packs so much meat in that silly banana hammock it never stood a chance to hide itself
Sounds like you need to stick it in a blender, Mr. Nerd.
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> I had this whole gay awakening thing and the puppy stuff happened pretty naturally after that
You would have had to know what that was in the first place. Guarantee you he was a furry beforehand.
> Viktor restrains a horny groan
Fuck off.
> Doesn't believe in auras or energies or any new age bullshit
Says the person who uses 'cisheteronormative' seriously, while wanting to engage in penis-in-vagina sex.
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> The crotch of his briefs is almost uncomfortably slick at this point
From a vagina or precum? She's being vague on purpose here.
> A dommy reflex
OK, that needs to go on a t-shirt - or a tattoo - for how stupid it is.
> Cunt-munching as a treat
That settles it, then.
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> Good boys get away with everything
Especially if they've got 10 inches on them.
> Imagines himself as a cartoon wolf with drool dripping from his tongue
So he becomes Jim Carrey's "Mask". Is he going to do a Cuban Pete conga line?
> Prime blowjob position
Keep at it with these 4chan Hoover lines, PBM.
> Many thick inches that shoot down his chiseled thigh
He's around 10 inches in this. And how big is Viktor? He has a roid clit, so it's a meager two.
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> I have the luxury of hiding my arousal, being not nearly as endowed as you are
M4M Viktor had at least 7 inches. This is trans Viktor trying to be a daddy dom and failing, and can only cough up 2 inches. Sad!
> It seems you're trying your best to give me genital heatstroke
I cannot believe this is a real line, ad infinitum.
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> Soft dom, if we're getting technical
You're a woman, if we're getting technical.
> Stealing an omegaverse style sniff of his soap and natural body odor
I will not so kindly ask you to go fuck yourself, PBM.
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> The entire affair bonks him on the head with a horny hammer, dizzying him
NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS. Outside of your tranny Discord servers with your fellow autists, normal people don't talk or think like this. The ONLY achievement you have is making a fic trying to mock incels while sounding like a femcel with a rape and pet play fetish.
> He identifies with little beasts that are small and crushable
Nothing says 'I love animals' like working at a zoo and then saying a critically endangered animal should become extinct due to habitat destruction. Sounds a little sadistic, if you ask me.
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> He's soaked. Crossing and uncrossing his legs in masturbatory torture
Sounds like you need to go extinct like that chicken.
> He used to maladaptively daydream about being a transhuman robot
She did this in M4M where Viktor wanted to have a nine foot cock and rape Jayce with it. He even told Jayce about this fantasy - about wanting to anally gape him - and that was brushed under the rug. People praised her and sucked her metaphorical dick over that but I didn't. It's weird shit, bro. Get some help.
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> He could combine both his dreams of domination and his sexual proclivities
Nothing is sadder than a pooner who dresses like Michael Douglas in 'Falling Down' and thinking she's masc and can cut it with the boys.
> An absolute studmuffin
And you unironically dress like an incel.
> His cock and balls really burden the sling of his jockstrap
> He bobs his head up and down those two inches of flesh like they're ten inches, something worth choking on
1. You could have done that. Viktor is canonically hung, look at his bulge. 2. If his thumb is 2 inches long, that means his hands are smaller than mine and that he's really hovering around 5'0 inches in height. He's laughably small. No wonder no 'closeted jock' took him seriously.
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> Viktor has two inches. Two inches that are rock hard in his briefs
If he went to a circuit party he'd have a mental breakdown as every gay man there would be calling him a loser faggot for having something so small. It's always the pro-trans doggy day tales shit that lets this fly.
> This is a very natural instinct for dogs - sniffing genitals
I am not getting over how this author really, really has a dog and race play fetish. This has gone beyond a simple roleplay; she really does see this character as unworthy of being treated as a human.
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> His natural reservations meet the fantasy of rawdogging on night one
Probably because no one wants to rawdog a two-inch microdick haver. Kills the boner brigade IRL, not sure if you catch that.
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> He's an artisan of lipwork
I'll accept this one.
> Jayce is a dog. He's orally inclined
I really am inclined to think this author sincerely believes that.
> He's mouth-to-mouth with the hero from a romance novel who somehow plummeted to the irl
IRL your teeny tiny roid clit wouldn't please anyone and cannot be used for penetration, and your feelings would be uwu hurt and you'd be crying anime tears like it's a fucking Naruto episode.
> The warmth of it runs from his pelvis to the center of his ribs. Impossibly sized, which is why this is good
You said he was ten inches; this gives the impression he is nearly 15, making him larger than most computer screens. I will accept this is just him arching his back and leaning over Viktor, but still. 10 inches is big, but there are other record breakers.
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> My instincts are to hump you
Never beating the allegations.
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> No, a dogman fell out of the sky attuned to his exact horny wavelength
Sounds like you need to be SPAYED and NEUTERED. See that boy howl when that 10 incher goes into the blender Lorena Bobbitt-style.
> He doesn't play coy about his hard dick
> Worries somehow Jayce has gotten inside him the science fiction way
'Science fiction way'? He can just shove himself inside your skin like you're cookie dough and fuck your insides. If his dick is as hard as a SWAT ram, as you insist it is, why not stop there?
> He's never had his face licked with such exuberance
> He doesn't even like being wet
The pooner who calls a brown man a 'feral beast' doesn't like showering. Who knew?
> Is that what you want? A puppy orgasm?
I can't believe this is real.
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> It is no shocker that he's nutting, given the fortitude of his dick's pulsations between them
Another real line you have to read to believe.
> They are compatible
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia.
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> Would he like to go off his leash again, directly into his cunt?
He'll drill right past those two inches like he's Deepwater Horizon cracking the ocean bed for oil.
> Walking around with cum pants
That implies he even washes those pants.
> I fear I may also have an anxiety attack if I see you with other people
That's nice. We get lines like 'boner banana hammock' and 'puppy orgasm' and the guy can't see him with other people before having an anxiety attack. Pop those pills so those ribs can get a ribbing.
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> pictures an anime mind-meld situation
Cool. Where's Asuka in her battle mech to rip off your arm in a last stand for eternal glory?
> Ultra short-shorts and a cropped tee
Yeah that screams 'I suck dick for cock!'
> Like having a service dog
Yeah she's not beating the allegations. She takes this 'this brown man is a dog to me' very, very seriously.
> Enya
You keep our Celtic Queen out of your goddamn mouth! I'll summon the power of Will Smith and Mike Tyson to slap you so far back there isn't a dog for your white ass to fuck.
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> As a rigger
THESE FUCKING RIGGERS
> Literally kicking his feet
Nothing like a soft dom who talks about puppy orgasms and who looks like he's going to sell you a shitty Buick. I can't wait for 4chan Colleen Hover to continue with this.
 
Luckily, the plagiarized fic was deleted. She can rejoice in her piss kink again.
All freaks and kinks aside, I support the eternal torment and suffering of plagiarizers. They're the jeets of literature. Kill them all. Let God sort 'em out.
 
An author who swears her future career is being a McDonald's line cook shows that she's not really cut out for the sciences by having her dainty self-insert wear a mini skirt and breast tape in a lab where sparks are flying. The lines for this fic are:
- I would brand you just over your pussy, but it will ruin that pretty bush of yours and your happy trail.
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They're already mechanics. Now let's talk about that shitty dress code.
> Taking testosterone long enough to be perceived as his true self
> Wears the sluttiest clothing imaginable that are not appropriate for an industrial setting, let alone a scientific lab
Hope you enjoy those chemical burns. They'll be gender affirming when they burn off 90% of your body.
> Not manly enough
Meanwhile he wears short skirts that female scientists aren't even allowed to wear in the lab.
> Delicate collarbones and his slender, pale legs exposed
get your drinks ready because you'll be seeing a lot of that.
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> Delicate skin
Drink.
> His rival since they were both academy students
And he never created Hextech. Why the jealousy?
> Not a cuckoo obsessed with magic
Your only character development is that you're a growling animal with a big dick.
> Demeaning, overly sweet voice
Now why would he talk to a True and Honest Man like that?
> After all, he thought nobody would call his gaunt face and crooked leg a 'pretty little thing'.
> Dmitri didn't deserve to see Viktor's bare thighs and his bony butt covered with that skirt
I really am waiting for him to spill dimethylmercury on himself and watch as he slowly loses his mind.
> His doe eyes
Fuck off.
not manly enough 3.PNG
> His delicate throat
Drink. This is used eight times.
> Bikinins
I think she meant 'bikini'.
> Got to see the dark curls on his mound and the apex of his thighs
There's the Tarzan pubes we know and love!
> A drop trickled down his milky inner thigh
We know he's white, thank you.
> The fact that he was glistening just from Jayce growling
Get it? He's turned on by his alpha male stature. He just loves those alpha males, they're gonna give him some nice, strong pups!
> His partner's hands held his legs up, fingers touching in the middle
Before you ask, yes, this dumb bitch uses the 'his waist was so small his hands met in the middle' line.
> Mix of pain and pleasure
Cliché.
> His fragile body
Drink.
> Felt his hair stinging his labia like tiny needles
Pubic hair isn't supposed to do that?
> Sitting on a desk top with his pussy bare
He can't exactly see his vulva with all that hair. It acts like a natural shower curtain.
> Cinnamon-vanilla scent of his pussy
I am not joking; on top of everything else, the author wanted his snatch to smell like Martha Stewart's kitchen.
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> Bit the delicate skin
Drink.
> Grabbed Viktor's waist with one hand
He's just uwu so smol.
> The tape Viktor bound his tits with was black
Look at that. His gender-affirming breast tape matches his panties! Very masc!
> The tip was almost where the dark hair of Viktor's happy trail ended
A true 10-12 incher. We're ticking off all the boxes.
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> Him a disabled, Zaunite orphan feeling so desired
Aww, he's getting picked! Now, test the waters by dumping some hydrochloric acid on him as a whoopsie daisy.
> Look, baby. It's poking out of you
> He could see the outline of Jayce's cock shifting beneath his thin skin. An obscene sight
Like fucking a snail.
> I would brand you as mine in the forge
Whoa, there. We don't need a white Django Unchained.
> I would brand you just over your pussy, but it will ruin that pretty bush of yours
It'd also stink to high hell because that's a lot of sulfur. You like rotting eggs with your vanilla pussy? Have at it.
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> His fingers meeting in the middle
Enough. Get. Another. Line.
> Balls slapping against Viktor's perineum, tip hitting his cervix
I love how his personality is nothing but a growling man beast who has a big dick.
> Rubbing his finger on the warm skin covering one of his protruding veins. His hands were unable to fully wrap around it
Yeah because he has dainty lady hands. Itsy bitsy ones. He's just so small.
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> His erect length was wider than his own wrist
Because he's so dainty and delicate. Of course Jayce is gonna be bigger than his wrist - an Apple pen is bigger than his wrist.
> Slid his finger in his hole
Which one?
> Or they two were a few meters away from the lab door
This isn't English.
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>Marking the thin skin of his larynx
I bet it's so thin a paper cut would be like slashing open an artery.
> His hole squeezed around the plug
You are forgiven if you don't know which one. That's his vagina that's plugged, and his anus that's getting fucked.
> Cum inside him form the sight
*From. While we're at it, will his cum split the skin or will it be absorbed like collagen?
> Pale face
We know he's white.
> He looked like a doll made of porcelain
He wants to be seen as a man so bad yet the author can't even give him the time of day to treat him like one LMAO.
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> Cornered by two men twice his size, a protector and a predator
Dmitri the Doodle is a predator because...wait for it...he still views Viktor as a scared, incompetent little girl and Jayce doesn't, even when textual evidence shows otherwise. Aside from being described as fragile, what has Viktor done? Nothing, aside from getting fucked by a massive penis.
> Assistant?!
Why is this posed as a question?
> Territorial gaze on him
Women love it when two men fight over them. It's sperm competition in action.
> Like a guard dog
Always a dog and man beast. Interesting how this keeps happening.
> Silently letting him know that he was his, not Dmitri's
I think the bruises and plugs are proof enough of that.
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> Sees him as nothing more than a confused Zaunite girl
> Admits that he could have fixed it himself
So what was the whole point of this, then?
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You should've. You're a grown ass man. Get a business card for him!
> Some pet I found in Zaun
Yeah, actually. You keep calling him a porcelain doll and a fragile lil thing. What else am I supposed to think?
> Watched the cum drip out of his gaping holes
Well at least you have a fire retardant on hand.
> Ex-rival made pitiful attempts to chat up on him, just to be humiliated
He wasn't, though? Viktor seemed pretty offended that he got misgendered. Well, he misgendered HIMSELF, but that's besides the point.
> Googles
Lmao.
> The smear on his hollow cheeks contrasted with his lacy attire
Working with electronics and STILL wearing inappropriate clothing? OK now I really am getting the dimethylmercury and saying it's fairy dust.
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Using potentially radioactive energy to make cheese? What, you want that mould to become sentient now?
> Too big for his delicate fingers
He's just so delicate, so pale, so fragile and so uwu he can't be trusted around equipment. The fuck you mean he struggled to be seen as a man when a single breeze could make him yelp like he got shocked by Hasan? Sometimes trans authors themselves are proof of their own stereotypes: they want to be seen as independent and strong, yet can't stop writing bad smut fic where it's the exact opposite. Literally a 'too delicate for science, so you need a real man to help you' ahh reasoning.

That arranged marriage omegaverse is nearly completed. We now enter the 'Taken' arc where Latino Liam Neeson comes to save the day.
Viktor is hungry. His captors have taken his clothes and have left him basically naked in a basement where they have to forcibly feed and bathe him. This doesn't last long as gun shots are heard and Vi pounds down the door to rescue him. Jayce follows soon after and they embrace, with Viktor thinking 'he needs his alpha' because he's been nothing but helpful during this entire thing. Finn and Jayce have a standoff and we learn that Jayce was the one who took his jaw. Apparently Finn has claimed Viktor as his omega - because the only thing Viktor has been is a damsel in distress who just gets pregnant - and triggered an abortion, but that was all smack talk. The fight is very brief and is ended when Jayce headbutts Finn out of a headlock and blasts him into a wall with his hammer. Bam, villain done. Appeared in two chapters and is now gone.

When Viktor wakes up, he doesn't recognize his alpha.
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> Regressing into purely omegan instincts is a common reaction to this level of trauma
So they revert to cavemen when triggered, OK. Alpha males become Scooby Doo Cro-Magnons, the omegas just become dainty, helpless rabbit who need their alpha. What an absolutely regressive culture.
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> He had to keep his alpha's pup safe
I'm amazed he still has it given all that malnutrition.
> The omega made an inquisitive chirping sound
So he's a smoke detector.
> You were gone for nearly three weeks
Funny, that. I could've sworn it was only a few hours.
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> He had to soothe his alpha
STATE MANDATED SEX SLAVES
> He was safe
Always about safety with these people.

Chapter 21 starts with this:
omega instincts 4.PNG
What would happen if those betas identify as Alphas? What then? Oh, right, we don't accept THAT kind of self identification. Keep those penis owners away! 😤

Viktor undergoes some disassociation that is horribly written and there is a mention that the fetus has 'signs of life', albeit faint. Jayce, happy that his omega is back, makes him a new collar because above all things we need to show who owns whom. One could almost forget that Viktor is a genius and an inventor, too, because the only time it's ever mentioned is when Jinx makes a joke about him using a laser weapon against Finn. Silco comes in and apologizes for not doing better, and then we skip to a Council meeting. Turns out, it wasn't Salo but Hoskel who was behind the attacks because he didn't like getting short-changed. Who knew Salo could be a snitch? It doesn't matter anyways because they plan on removing him for being a patsy. The chapter then ends with Viktor holding his hand over his belly while Jayce sleeps because think of the poor babby.

You really aren't missing much. This might not be on the level of ADHDemons but it's short and shitty.

I hope you've gotten over your fear of clowns, because this one has a clown fetish. We're talking about the honking noses, heavy makeup, big shoes, shitty art, everything. 'Do you want to fuck me, Honky Hammer?' and 'Your whole-mm clown cock fucking in me-' are a few of the lines from this fic. Also features a balloon being used as a condom. Author thanks her beta-reader for 'editing it to perfection' while missing commas, periods, and formatting dialogue to precisely tell the reader who is speaking. F on all fronts, shitty fanart included.
bafkreiafuhsazjtytdklbhdh7owzyjdmghrsj3uo4qwevtb4ulcekbglfm.jpg
"bbno$ meets Ed Gein colourized"
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Reading this, it's obvious an editor did NOT make it better. Beta-readers will not always be your heroes; sometimes, or most of the time, they WILL make it worse.

Progress Day is a big festival and our down-and-out-soon-to-be-fucked-lil guy is enjoying the festivities. He thinks about a lizard plush he got and how he never was able to own one as a kid. As he explores, he finds the circus tent, staffed by the fish man Steb, and it's there that he gets interested in all things Clown World - literally. It's there he hears of a clown named 'Honkin' Hammer' and that grabs his attention.

The inside of the tent is like if the Ringling Brothers decided to go drag for their events, with everyone decked out in sparkles and glitter. Caitlyn is the queen of glitter here and Viktor muses how someone like her could be in charge of this event. We cut to Jayce's POV and how he prepares for his shows: the token lightbulb-enhanced mirror, the layers and layers of makeup, and how he really enjoys dressing up when people publicly perceive him differently. Jayce asks Vi - who is decked out in a leopard print suit, which honestly doesn't suit her - if Cait is OK with this and the author keeps stressing via dialogue that it is 'for charity'. When Vi asks him why he does it, he admits internally it's because he has a clown fetish an externally he tells her that he wouldn't be the Man of Progress if he didn't do it for charity.

When Vi tells him Viktor is there he starts freaking out, going awfully white for a Mexican mutt, and wants nothing more than to be fucked in his clown costume. He wants his red lip paint to stain Viktor's protuberant pussy lips red, coat him in the AMERICA, FUCK YEAH colours of red, white and blue. Regardless, Jayce is freaking the fuck out (x2) and gets a bit nervous, but it's alright because he has time to destress. The author makes a note of Viktor's 'delicate fingers', which will no doubt be brought up again (and again) when it comes time for the smut.

Jinx and Ekko are trapeze artists and the author doesn't think much about physics as Ekko wears a giant clock around his neck. I've decided to post a snippet of it due to how poorly it's written - AND it is, in fact, beta-read.
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> He had a huge fake clock
I initially read it as 'fake cock' but Ekk doesn't get as much attention towards his dick than Jayce, so...anyways, wearing that big, heavy piece of jewelry for their feats isn't going to help them. It'll interfere with their sense of balance.
> Kazoos going off
Make them play the MGS3 theme and I'm sold.
> She'd lifted him with her bare hands easily
Yeah, no. Strongwoman or not, males are heavier pound-for-pound than females. She'd have to be on something in order for her to do that.

There's a knifethrower - that I assume is Isha, or it's Lux, who knows - who manages to not hit Mylo, and Cait tames a mighty beast to the audience's thunderous applause (it's a druvask). Finally, Jayce comes out and he looks and sounds as ridiculous as his namesake. He has a giant squeaky hammer on his head and he's basically Krusty the Clown if he decided to work out in a forge and take ketamine and get high on oxygen pumps. He's also really good at making balloon animals. When he smiles, Viktor notices the tooth gap - the author writes it as 'tooth gaped' - and the mystery is solved.
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Honestly? This is the first clown fetish fic I've ever read and until I read ahead, it's not the worst I've seen. The alpha male ones and 'his pussy drooled like a dog' or 'protuberant pussy lips' for an 11-year-old are way worse. This is just bad in a 'haha funny' way, where you can just snicker along. It's not one of those where you audibly go 'what the fuck' - yet.

After the show, Jayce has a little breakdown on Viktor recognizing him and whether he'll be seen as a freak for what he does in his spare time. That lasts for about a minute before he pulls down his boxers - blue with lipstick kiss imprints - and starts masturbating.
clown world 3.PNG
> I liked it a bit too much
He wants that balloon animal popped inside him.
> His body was like a furnace and his dick was twitch just at his words
Don't you already have a bulge?
clown world 4.PNG
If I was your beta-reader, I'd tell you to add a period after a line of dialogue is completed. It looks far more professional, but your beta-reader was a lazy ass who got evicted from Lazy Town. This is basic stuff, people!
> Felt his bulge curve the space between his thighs
Uh oh, that Hispanic Hog is really bending like a balloon animal! Can he twist it into the shape of a Dachshund?
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> The bulge got harder when the lipstick was being applied
There's a boner, then there's a boner-on-a-boner. A paradox of boners. Quick, let me write a fic on that like PrettyBadMagic IRL. I want these ADHDemons released.
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> Pushing himself down onto the obvious bulge
We know he has an erection, thank you.
> Maybe it was his lack of childhood wonder
?? He never lost it?
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> He nearly tossed Viktor back
Guess he forgot he was at the circus and not the rodeo and buckle bunnies can't be thrown like that.
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> He had discarded it with the pants
Wow, that was easy. It's like they just disappeared off him like he activated a cheat code.
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> Go ahead, my horny little clown
Oh, I am SO using that.
> The folds stained in white face paint
Thank God it's non-toxic because you don't want turpentine up your coochie.
> The deep rumbling groans sent vibrations to his cock
Aren't you already hard?
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> Took his bud of a cock in his mouth
Let me guess. Jayce has a honkin' balloon animal in his pants and he can play Operation with it.
> Pale expanse of skin
We know he's white, thanks.
> Looked like he was eating a buffet meant to feed dozens of people
More like a white American discovering the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet really IS all-you-can-eat.
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> Sucked like he was the sweetest candy this circus could offer
On top of writing the vagina/vulva like a flower, can we stop with the food descriptors of it? It's a vagina. It's not going to taste like candy even if you ate all the gummy bears in the world or shoved a Scentsy up there. It's not going to work.
> He was sucking on his clit like it was a lollipop
See point above.
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> He smelt incredible, the natural musk of his cunt filling his senses
Does he smell like cinnamon and vanilla?
> Punishing his cunt so brutally
Punching that hole with his tongue like he wants to win at skeeball.
> The smudged paint now looked gorgeous all over his abused sex
Least it doesn't look like a McDonald's play place or some psychedelic trip like that one fic.
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> I'm sensitive please no more
> Don't stop, don't
Pick one.
> Pressing his mouth against his cock, his teeth grazing against the swollen cock
Redundant. Your mouth is already against it.
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> Working his cock with his tongue
> Worked his pussy well
Redundant.
> You're so mm
Peak sex dialogue right there.
> Choked sob
> Stuttering and choking
Don't summon St. Floyd, now.
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> A clear liquid burst out of his aching cunt, it splashed across Jayce's face
Guess he won't need to wash his makeup off after all, eh?
> It was hot, V, fuck you're perfect
> So vulnerable, so perfect
How repetitive. That's one lazy-ass beta reader.
> Sliding his tongue against Viktor's tongue. Viktor could taste himself on Jayce's tongue
The floor is made of floor.
> Eyes flickered to Jayce's very hard, very needy cock
This makes it seem his dick is already out and exposed, but no. He's still clothed.
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> Swollen, veiny length hanging between his thighs
Before you ask: yes, he's one of the Big and Veiny ones. You know what to expect. Should've come decked out in horse regalia since him having a horse dick is all he's written as.
> Bolding clinging his palm to Jayce's bulge
Is his dick out yet, or not?
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> Do you want to fuck me, Honky Hammer
Hell yeah, he's gonna shove that Hammer into that Lil Clown Cunt and blow you up like a kazoo!
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> Heavy, throbbing cock to bounce out achingly hard, red and leaking
I thought it was already out, but no, because of the way it was written he was giving him a handjob INSIDE his pants.
> Hot. Wet. Desperate kisses
Why isn't this merged into a single sentence?
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> Please Viktor. Suck my cock I need it so much
I could totally tell with that level of desperation.
> He saw it, the way the red slid up and down his cock, smearing generously across the thick veins
I don't think the paint has 'safe to suck cock with' on the box. Just sayin'.
> Throbbing dick still deep in his mouth
We know. It never went anywhere.
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> The way his tongue slid across his cock, the tip being suckled like it's candy
What did I say about genitalia being compared to food?
> Feeling Viktor smirk against his length
He wouldn't be able to do that with his mouth full.
> Fuck me like a good little clown
Another quote worth putting on a t-shirt.
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> He's been safe and he's prone to believe Jayce isn't sexually active either
Doesn't matter. You are not supposed to use a balloon as a condom because the material is not designed for sexual intercourse, let alone for his XXXXXL Magic Mike Meat. It's definitely not going to hold semen as well as you think it will.
> Will it fit?
The classic 'It won't fit' 'I'll make it fit' but make it Clown World.
> Almost as if he was indeed self aware of his size but didn't speak on it
Why the fuck wouldn't he be? You've got a fucking Dodgers bat swinging around down there and you need an XXL condom like you need XXL shoes. The fuck you mean he isn't self-aware of his dick size?
> His oral fixation had also left him very well stretched, prepared for his partner's needy, twitchy girthy
Doesn't matter. The latex of that balloon would very likely irritated the vagina.
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> He could still move efficiently within the latex
Latex balloons are normally made with synthetic latex, whereas condoms are usually made with natural latex that is derived from a rubber plant. I can't believe I'm fact-checking a clown fucker fic.
> He really couldn't with the glistening folds tempting him like a golden apple on a tree
The only thing 'golden' will be the puss from all the vaginal irritation and/or the STI you gave him because you decided Krusty the Clown needed to get freaky.
> "Please let me ruin you Viktor" Jayce asks?
> No, he begs desperately
Has as much power as, 'You moronic idiots! He shooted angstily.'
> Felt the instinctual need to kiss Viktor's abused cock head
That cock head is barely the size of your thumb.
> Small milky white thighs
We know he's white, thanks.
> He got a bit giddy seeing how well his hands wrapped around Viktor's entire thigh
If I see 'his hands met in the middle' I will be using a balloon animal as a 'Brooks was here' prop.
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> Now I get to be fucked by one
With the wrong material that is more likely to irritate your vagina, might I add.
> Latex
> Colorful blue piece of poorly made plastic
WHY ARE YOU USING IT AS A CONDOM, THEN?! Latex and plastic are two different things! UNLESS you're talking synthetic latex, which uses petroleum as plastic does, but natural latex - THAT IS USED IN CONDOMS - comes from a RUBBER PLANT.
> Felt like he had dipped his dick in hot water
That's one way to boil a hot dog.
> Your whole mm clown cock fucking in me
This is a real line, and beta-read, to boot.
> Your cunt was made for me
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia.
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> Pacing himself not to rut into him like a needy animal
Can't have that alpha male come out and fuck those sloppy omega holes, eh?
> C'mere Honky
I can't. I fucking LOST IT
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> I'd be the best birthday clown for you. I can juggle and stuff too
Only thing you're juggling is balls here, buddy.
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> Viktor could feel his precum starting to slide and ooze out of the balloon
That means it's about to break and you're going to be saying hello to Honky Junior - Gender Undetermined.


This sex dialogue is still awful and actually makes the whole thing seem like a parody. Him flipping Viktor around like that while being bound is a nice move; you sure he wasn't meant to be a trapeze artist, or would that massive hog just drag the whole rope down?
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> That thick, veiny cock stroking along his walls
He actually wouldn't be able to feel it with the balloon on.
> The way his accent was heavy on his tongue, his wet tongue fighting against Jayce's
Redundant.
> Begging Jayce for it but he didn't need to. He'd never have to beg
Redundant.
> Every grunt as he bottoms out inside him, every slap of skin
This is an incomplete sentence.
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> Squeezing and sucking at Jayce's dick with his pussy
Another real line.
> Porcelain skin
Can't get enough of that white, pale, creamy, porcelain, alabaster, white, pale, swan-necked beauty, huh?
> Fuck Viktor
Yeah, fuck that guy! Literally and figuratively! Fuck this guy because you and your beta-reader couldn't use a comma!
> Spurting what seemed like endless ropes of white into his aching cunt
What was the point of using a balloon as a condom, then, if you planned on taking it off and ejaculating inside? My gripe over using balloons as condoms would have been completely avoided.
> Smelt of his partner
A nice double entendre there.

They clean up, Viktor says Jayce is his and that they should do it at one of their homes next time, and the 'edited to perfection' ending is this:
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Here, since I'm doing this for fun, I'll fix what your editor could and would not:

"So you chose Honky Hammer?"

" Yep. With the big, pink squeaky hammer and everything." He paused, thinking. A blush came on his cheeks, not unlike the come he just sprayed on Viktor's face. "I know it's such a turn off -"

Viktor moved to cup his cheeks, cutting him off, "Hey, it's charming to me." He pressed a chaste kiss to Jayce's pouty lips. "I love it."

Nine months later, 'Cuban Pete, Gender Undetermined' Arrives, and everyone loses it at the new trapeze act. They also lose it when the baby ends up becoming another casualty and the whole circus has to be shut down by the government because they were skirting their taxes. I made the last bit up, can't you tell?
All freaks and kinks aside, I support the eternal torment and suffering of plagiarizers. They're the jeets of literature. Kill them all. Let God sort 'em out.
I find it hilarious someone read her fic, copied and pasted it, and posted it in JJK and someone recognized it enough to tell her. There's some cosmic irony in someone getting their piss kink fic plagiarized when their writing style is soft-plagiarized by other shippers enough that AI can copy it without a hitch.

They clearly did not add enough 'Dom triggers are activated' to make it unique. What a thing to plagiarize. A piss kink fic? Not the underarm licking one or the bitching one illustrated by the Big Chin yaoi artist? That really IS jeet behaviour.
 
As part of this Big Bang, listen and learn as someone cannot decide whether spooning in bed crosses the line between romance and friendship. Featuring erotic massages and deepthroating sleeping pills, this tiring tale will make you go 'aww...when the fuck is it ending?'
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> Broad chest
You know a woman wrote this when they don't stop talking about how broad the manly man with the 'more well-hung than hung' genitalia is.
> Like he's afraid to let Viktor go
*Clutches him so tightly that they could fuse, like he's afraid to let Viktor go.
It actually sounds better without that.
> Can't let himself dare hope that Jayce feels the same way
You are spooning in bed, and this isn't the first time this has happened. This is not something platonic people do. You're willingly sharing a bed vs wanting a separate bed for your needs. You're being romantic.
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> Would Jayce be disgusted if he knew how impure his thoughts were?
Depends. Do you want to fuck him in a clown costume? Do you want to anally rape and gape him with a nine foot mechanical cock? If not, you might be a little too vanilla.
> He always does when Jayce brings up his health. He hates people focusing on his difficulties
So make them focus on something else. You are choosing to make it a problem.
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> Is this how you woo all the pretty girls?
> Just the special ones
I love how the author just inadvertently clocked Viktor as female here without even realizing it. Why is he calling a True and Honest Man a woman?
> How can he not be satisfied with the generous gift life gave him when their paths crossed?
This is where the codependency thing comes in and it gets irritated real fast. It takes under a minute for Viktor to become a victim and he doesn't change from that one bit.
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> After all, from Jayce's perspective, this invention is all his life
This is an incomplete sentence. "This invention is his life's work" or 'this invention defined his life' makes far more sense.
> How can Jayce be so oblivious to his desires? Shouldn't he have noticed the tender looks he can't help but give?
This is a real 'NOTICE ME, SENPAI' move where he wants a man to acknowledge him but doesn't do anything but act like a wallflower about it. Jayce doesn't notice because you don't MAKE HIM notice. He's choosing to be a cagey woman who wonders why a man won't reciprocate when he doesn't even make his intentions clear.
> It's as if Jayce's kindness is twisting a knife right into Viktor's heart, giving him illusory hope
Spare me. You're upset and start crying because a man isn't paying attention to you? Jesus Christ. Sounds like you need some feminism in your life.
> He can't help it
Must be those female hormones coming through.
> His arms are so long that one of them can still reach his aching leg
All I think of is Lanky Kong. I bet you he can climb buildings with them like a Bandersnatch from Resident Evil.
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> Ironically the cause of his sadness and the remedy
Ugh, I'm going to get sick of this, aren't I?

So what happens with Jayce here is that he's having a panic attack - because why not - over a thesis paper they have to submit. Viktor has to be the emotional support and offer emotional labour to him, and walks him through the panic attack. He wonders if this is all a waste of time and feels bad for his mother, citing the fact she worked all those jobs and long hours to put him in the Academy, despite the fact his family was upper middle class thanks to his father's blacksmith business. He was never poor and many authors seem to forget that, this one included. Viktor tells him that no matter what, if the prototype works or not, he will help him through it.

He cleans up the apartment and tells Jayce to go to bed, and all Viktor can think of is HIS feelings and how flustered he is. He goes to his room to check if he's still asleep - and there's a mention on how his heart will explode from his flustered feelings - and Jayce gives him a fake smile that he hates and asks if he wants to watch a space documentary with him. Afterwards, when Viktor seems to be annoyed at Jayce rattling off facts from something he seems to have watched already - he asks Viktor if he could stay with him in his twin bed to help him sleep. Viktor feels like the universe is shining down on him and that he's cursing his luck because he feels he's spoiling their friendship. They end up sleeping together - platonically, for now - and we cut back to the present.
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> Maybe there's a tiny little selfish part inside of him that wants to enjoy this intimacy
I find myself not giving a shit because the author keeps saying this. It's very much a one-sided yearning bordering on obsession, and does not seem healthy at all. This is a woman who is upset her senpai doesn't notice her and then proceeds to get irritated when said senpai does and wants to spend time with him. Make up your mind!

Viktor doesn't like people focusing on his handicaps, yet the one who refurbished his apartment to make it more accessible was Jayce. He had this man wait on him hand and foot and was still ungrateful. He keeps worrying that he will spoil their friendship and that his love might not be unrequited as he thinks given how touchy-feely Jayce is being today. A paragraph later he says he would be 'totally fine' with Jayce not reciprocating his feelings despite him saying a paragraph ago that he was not, putting his characterization on par with Casey Anthony.

When he enters the kitchen Jayce has made some pastries and our lil dood has not even bothered to dry his hair with the towel, so Jayce does it for him. When he does, Viktor gets yet ANOTHER thought that maybe his feelings are reciprocated.
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> Maybe he has a chance
Maybe, maybe not.
> Has nothing happened because he never tried to show his desire?
What does it say that a pastry fresh out of the oven has more sex appeal than you? YES, you never bothered to show you desire, so why wouldn't your little himbo know? He isn't a mind reader.
> Puts Jayce's index finger in his mouth first, sucking the glaze on it
> Viktor is devastated; he failed, but he did harm his friendship in the process?
...you shoved his finger in his mouth when there was absolutely no sexual tension in that room. You more or less tried to gag him with it. This entire interaction is the most autistic thing I can think of. Where is the Sonichu medallion?

Jayce then asks him what he plans to do for the day. He says not much and plans to spend the day researching with Sky. Jayce detects that Viktor is not being honest and Viktor knows that Jayce knows. Our Latin Lover leaves and our lil autist wondered what the hell went wrong. Shoving a guy's finger in his mouth while trying to be sexy isn't as dramatic or comedic as you thought it was, huh?

When Viktor returns from his day with Sky, he finds Jayce in their shared bedroom. They use Jayce's to sleep in and Viktor's to work in because there are no tables in the living room for some reason. Viktor has to confront his innate autism and awkwardness to apologize, but decides to nag Jayce instead based on how he's sitting.
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> Starts on a rant of his own
I get the impression these two are not on the same wavelength the author insists they are.
> I'm my own person
So act like it.
> When did he become such a coward? He hates himself for even thinking of backing off for a second
Because the author decided the uwu wallflower would be great characterization when it wasn't. He's been a coward for the whole thing.
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> Did I do something?
Yeah, but not in the ways you think.
> I don't want private space, I like having you by my side any time
That's not healthy. This is more than codependency; this is clingy, borderline behaviour. This same character is fine with Viktor self-isolating and being gone for days; now he can't function if they can't share the same room. Logic.
> He would never want to hurt Jayce's feelings
There's that female socialization coming through.
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> I can't be sharing a bed with you every night anymore
Which is a fair request. The borderline responding with 'it doesn't make any sense' twice apparently cannot respect boundaries. He's a man child. So, when Viktor does confess that he has romantic feelings for him, this happens:
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> I often year for more than I should. When we share a bed, I want to cuddle and never let you go
You know a woman wrote this because a man would just proposition the other and find someone else if he refused.
> I'm attracted to you Jayce
"I deepthroated my finger in order to turn you on. Did it work?"
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> I don't want you to let go
> I don't want it
Oh God, I'm getting Jon Snow flashbacks.
> I just never dared to think, really think about you that way
Look at that. The wallflower really WAS noticed!
> How would anyone look at me that way...
1. You're a loner by nature. 2. You don't even like other people. 3. This 'notice me senpai' going to 'I'm finally picked' is something so female in nature it honestly sounds misogynist to even write it out. This is someone who couldn't even find the balls to say how they feel despite being a 'real man' and just stuck to hoping they'd be picked like they're a Disney princess. Enough with this shit.
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> It looks like he's fishing for compliments
Correct, you are, because you want to be validated. That's really the basis for these fics: to be validated and never questioned on your True Self.
> What does Jayce mean?
?? He just told you? Why would he toy with you when that isn't even his MO? This is just another case of the Pick Me being 'humble' and not accepting compliments because they're the Ugly Duckling.
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> I should have said something much earlier
You're right. This would have been over a lot faster.
> How determined is he to abandon this
You don't seem that determined if it means you're promised dick.
> I nearly passed out when you licked my finger this morning
I could've swore that Viktor was the one who shoved his finger in Jayce's mouth, but I'll take the retard tap. In any case, it was NOT sexy or seductive because there is no sexual chemistry between them to begin with. They're just autists stringing along. There's nothing going on there.
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> It worked so well I couldn't stop thinking about it all day
And yet he never appeared strung-up or affected by it at all. Logic.
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> Let me hear you
You already are? He's not being quiet?
> Thinks they act like hormonal teenagers
You don't say. All of this could have been avoided had you just said, 'Hey, you want some fuk?'
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This sex dialogue isn't treating me so well. While it is actually edited unlike the clown fic, it just doesn't have any power behind it. It's just...meh.
> His dicks suffocating in his pants
This makes it seem as if he has two dicks. Don't give these people any ideas.
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> Jayce is a man of passion
I could never have told you that because he was just a man child in this.
> It must not have been easy, as he is heavily panting
You don't weigh more than a sack of potatoes. He's panting because he's excited.
> Stops a moment to lie next to him
I thought they were standing up? Guess they waddled to the bedroom to do it after all.
> Large hands wrap around the entire of Viktor's waist
THIS. FUCKING. LINES. If I made an omegaverse soyjack I would 100% use all the instances I've seen this line as a background. Holy fuck is it the most repetitive line in existence.
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Fu-uck Ahhh ahhh
Me when I lose in a 3 stack Pred game in Apex
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Huh. Thought there would be major payoff for all this trouble. This author actually struck gold with a competent artist and she just gave...this. It's got to be one of the most autistic smut fics I've ever read with a character who complains their senpai never notices them when they make no effort to be noticed. It's also up there with Major Arcana in that the characters don't actually have any chemistry yet they fuck anyways, and you can't even have the benefit of having it be between two men where they actually CAN fuck and be done with it. I can't believe the Condom Clown fic was better than this one - and it didn't have the 'his thumbs met in the middle' line either.

You've seen clowns use balloons as condoms. Now get ready for some steamy action between an Asmongold cosplayer and a statue. Get your fill of obscene trails from a lovesick pussy. The lines for this fic include:
- His disbelief shines from his eyes watching his childhood hero, the one who saved his life and inspired his whole research, cloaked and lapping at his dick like a cheap, shy whore hired for a night.
- inhaling the scent like cockdrunk.
The author lists herself as Anonymous, but her profile can be found here.

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> As the catalyst of the world's end, it is a fault as much as it is a gift
Is it really a gift when you cause wide scale genocide and continue to choose that option because you can't get your pussy filled?
> A man who wants to own and posses and be chosen without hesitation
AKA what happens when the Pick Me doesn't get picked and decides to go Mega Hitler.
> To rake such a back bleeding
?? 'To rake such a back until it bleeds'.
> Like a shy maiden
So shy he rides a stone cold dick - literally - because he's bored and tired after killing billions. Who knew a good dicking could have saved the world?
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> All that's left is his puffy, pink cunt
Why is it puffy? His cat definitely is NOT the same in the dark.
> Stiff clit peeking out like it wants to be kissed from the dark, messy curls of his pubic hair
It must be pretty big considering it's barely fighting against the Tarzan rainforest down there.
> Mmm ah - your kisses
Just stick with the puffy cunt, girl.
> Pull his too-sensitive pussy up into Jayce's mouth again and again
You really must have a magic coochie because I can't imagine going in raw and dry every time on a literal statue.
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> The wet slick of his cunt slipping and rutting against porcelain-soft metal
Last I checked, that metal did NOT look soft. It's jagged and sharp. Again, magic pussy because ain't no way that thing isn't getting its meat tenderized.
> Fuck his fingers around his clit
don't you mean 'fucking his clit around his fingers'?
> He feels his heartbeat throbbing in both his ears and cunt
But is it 'fluttering shyly'?
> A viscous, lightly iridescent sheen glistens
> An obscene trail of Viktor's affections from his lovesick, soaked pussy
Yes, this is a real line. I'm glad the Arcane stirs within him so much that his pussy juice glitters like it's fluid in a lava lamp. Don't drink it or else you'll end up on a Chubbyemu episode.
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> Since he changed fates to become his mage
That's not a bad idea at all! Continuing to destroy timelines all because you want that cooter stuffed like a Black Friday shopping card isn't my image of love and devotion, but you do you, girl.
> He has to gather data from another Jayce. Measurements
AKA he needs a living Hispanic Hog so he can replicate the stone dick he can ride on statue Jayce.
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Haha, get? It's because he's a pussycat! It's a double entendre!
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> Your thing is...not small
Of course not. It's the Hispanic Hog we're talking about.
> Fingers teasing the heavy balls beneath his length
Get your drinks ready because you are going to hear about his balls three times.
> He wouldn't tell him he's not experienced in doing this
Born to shit, forced to wipe kinda situation, eh? More like 'born to fuck, forced to get fucked.'
> Research where he's absolutely soaked through sucking off another timeline's much younger than himself Jayce
"Is that an oil spill on the floor?"
"No that's just my Arcane pussy juice."
> Inhaling the scent like a cockdrunk
There's the unintentionally funny lines I wanna see!
> Just to swallow him back down to the hilt
Not bad for someone who was just choking on it and could only go halfway. Looks like that pocket pussy applies to his throat, too.
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> Push his cock in so Viktor doesn't have to
He really doesn't because he's already there to the hilt.
> Mkes
When you're so horny you forget to proofread.
> When Viktor tries to gargle out his name
He literally can't, not when that dick is magically bent and down his throat to give him his daily ration of protein.
> His stupidly big cock soaked from drool and precum
Damn. He really is Mr. Hands. BTW, Viktor sounds like Biden when he's talking with his mouth full. Maybe he'd be a President that sucks dick instead of being a Monica Lewinski.
> His periuneum
He can see that under his heavy balls? Those big ole swingers?
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> The whole cylinder twitching with his cock
Must be that magic Arcane saliva making it vibrate like a washing machine.
> Not and then
*Now and then
> He can picture how heavy and pent-up his cock is in the mold, purpling at the head
He doesn't have to because Jayce didn't ejaculate. He's still hard.
> His heavy balls
You've said that three times already.
> He's sure there's a puddle of his slick smeared across the patterns of the floor below him
Careful, that's an environmental hazard. A real G-virus in the making from that G-spot.
> The mold is set and his cock is still beautifully hard, flush and heavy with the need to blow his load to any willing touch
Another real line. I don't see why it would go soft considering it's big, heavy, read and twitching (x3). There's no stopping that horse cock, neigh.
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> This perfect cock will fill him every day. His greed should be sickening
TFW you end your world and get so bored you need to open a portal Black Mesa style not to destroy THAT world, but to make a dildo out of the lover you made into a statue. I can't tell if that's a cosmic horror or if it's supposed to be romantic.
> His warm, thick cum spills onto the back of his tongue, plunged deep to pump down his throat
Impressive that he can bent that big, heavy thing. The Arcane can do anything, including making your throat like a waterpark slide for easy deepthroating.
> He came into his pants only from sucking cock
I mean, look at the state of it. Wouldn't you?
> From the cum sticking to his esophagus
I guess you can say it's a good CAULKING, eh? 😉
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> In a big to hide the jerk of his clit
I see what you did there. You meant 'bid', but tried to make that clit anywhere near the same size as that dick. It ain't working.

I love the implications that despite this being an apocalyptic dimension, there were enough materials lying around to make a dildo and replicate a semen pump. Everyone else is a literal statue or machine husk but the guy at the top can get his rocks off because he found the motherlode from his universe's sex toy shop. Priorities.
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> A lick of his cunt
Is it a cat? Wait, don't answer that.
> He's going to milk the pump into himself until either he or it runs out
Everyone else is dead from a widescale mechanized apocalyptic genocide but at least that pussy can get stuffed with fake cum. What a world.
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> To end this all for good, to bring the loop to a close and eject themselves into a new life
Who knew that ending a bootstrap paradox required a lifelike dildo that you attach to a statue because you didn't want to die a virgin? M. Night Shyamalan couldn't come up with that.
> Children's laughter
"Yeah I might've ended entire worlds and killed billions, but I'm the one that deserved a giant dildo up my snatch and to pop out four kids in my cottagecore dream. Fuck you, it's trad!"
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> Licking his hips
Wow, his tongue must be pretty damn long.
> His cock looks huge like this
We know. You have already said it's 'stupidly big' already.
> Heavy and hot against his swollen t-dick. The size difference is ridiculous
Well, yeah. You are comparing a marble to a bowling pin. The thickness and sheer masculinity of such a penis cannot be doubted, whereas you, with all your world-ending magic, cannot even give yourself one that's a fraction of its size. Sad!
> The veins and the ridge of foreskin catch against his fluttering entrance
Oh wow, the silicone even caught the foreskin? Amazing.
> Your size is breathtaking, mouthwatering, making his cunt ache and drool
1. We know he's big. 2. Is his pussy drooling like a dog? It drools at least three times in this.
> He feels so warm
> His cock just feels so warm
You didn't need to write this twice.
> His tongue laps at the seam starving to be choked in turn
??? Choked by what?
> Dazefly
When you're so horny you write that instead of 'dazedly'.
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> His cock looks as thick and heavy against his pussy as it feels
WE KNOW. You've written this, what? Four times already? We know your statue Mexican is big, alright? He can smash down all walls and make God tremble at it size.
> It might not fit. He's fingered himself plenty enough times, but Jayce is nowhere near small
"It won't fit" "I'll make it fit" ahh scenario. Also, see point made above.
> All of them, undoubtedly, cum by this pretty, fat cock, over and over and over
I love the implication that him having a vagina is the normal, natural variation and that it's the only way he can have true and proper sex. What do you mean by that, dear author?
> The lube he made is viscous and thick
What happened to that magical vagina juice? Did it suddenly disappear?
> Their noses bump to follow
What?
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> You're so big
Yes, we get it. This is the sixth or so time you've said this already. Just shove that shit in and be done with it.
> If I feel your pelvis kiss against my pussy while I'm this perfectly full I'll come on the spot
So much for 'it won't fit'. That pocket pussy dimension is limitless.
> As it leaks slick
What was the need for lube, then?
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> I'mmmmokay...don't stop yet
Should've just focused on the dick size and deepthroating. I swear, the actions might be hot but the dialogue just kills it.
> Binding flesh and silicone to make a functional limb
> A perfectly evolved functional penis would, of course...
It means that it requires a functioning pussy, because PIV sex is the only natural sex there is. Very tradwife and conservative, dear author!
> His cock is functional. Fully. It has accept itself as part of his body
I love the implication he can give him a functioning penis yet refuses to give him a functional body, leaving him there as a living dildo that cannot move and cannot react (well, just barely) and is trapped there for eternity. Genocidal pussy really does make a man forgive all sins.
> The gift and want to love and fill and fuck him stupid
"No, I won't give you your body back. You have to stay that way as evidence of our mistakes. But I can give you a functioning penis so I won't have to die a virgin anymore. Sound good?"
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> His rim clenches around nothing in anticipation for it
Sorry, but no anal this time around. This is a Christian server.
> Now his pussy is drooling non-stop, stretched to its limit on his stupidly thick length
1. That's the second time his pussy has drooled like a dog and 2. How many times do you need to write that he's 'stupidly big'? Just get on with it! So much for 'not making it fit' when he took it like a champ anyways.
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> I love your cock
Hard to love it when you keep writing about your pussy drooling and how 'stupidly big' it is. I'd love it more if he just used his mouth to deepthroat.
> Lay a claim the Arcane can never take
You sure about that? Your vagina juice was looking like the East Palestine, Ohio chemical spill.
> His own climax barrels into him, dribbling slick
Why did you need lube, again?
> Squirting Jayce's stomach drenched through tears and wailing moans
This makes it seem he took his stomach out and squeezed it like a sponge. I know the author means that he squirted ONTO his stomach, so she should have written, "drenching his stomach with his squirt" instead.
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> Despite the lack of any physical swell to feel he's so full it's making him lightheaded
> Excesses leak out in rivulets between them
> Warm and snug in his cum-stuffed cunt
> His unplugged cunt leaks heavy globs of warm cum, stray threads drooling
What's that about no physical swell? The man ejaculated enough to reintroduce every animal that went extinct.
> Slaps up to rest heavy and cum-slick against his cunt is full of hunger and need and overstimulation
This is a run-on sentence. What is overstimulated? The cunt, or the cock? Both?

Not very many smut fics bore me, but this one did, even if its reasons are difficult to pin down. The dialogue was obviously the weakest element even when the premise was as basic as it gets - tiny, virginal vagina stuffed full with the 'It can't fit' 10-12'' baton - and it became a slog pretty quickly. The clown fic, as goofy as that was, flowed better and it had some funny lines in it. This one just didn't hit. Maybe my brain is fried from being tired, but it feels like it's overcompensating. Yeah, you get oodles and noodles of semen and a well-hung male (whose only character trait is that he is well-hung so you 100% know he's 'cis'), but you don't get the full course meal. I actually ended it at that part because it was just a slog. I'm not sure if I covered the author's other works, but I reckon they're the same.

There are those in the bookmarks that disagree, however:
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Well, Barney_Is_My_Whore says it's good. He loves you, he loves me, he loves post-apocalyptic universes that still have the resources to create lifelike dildos and semen.

I am very curious as to what surprises linger in this fic. It's another entry for this year's Big Bang, and also has accompanying fanart - that actually seems GOOD for once - so I decided to take it for a spin.
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OK, I like the dialogue. It's dynamic and in-character. Surely it can't get any worse than this, right?
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> His cheeks are becoming more rose-tinted
This is where we first get the idea that Viktor has feelings for Jayce, whereas Jayce is oblivious. He does not say oblivious for long, because his doppelganger arrives and moves to make things straight.
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This is where we get the 'I can't fuck up the timeline/There's no time/I can't explain it' rationale when he does everything wrong to begin with: he hugs, and later kisses, Viktor, he pushes away his younger version and antagonizes him, and then they engage in group sex. That's the exact opposite of not interfering with the timeline.
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> I'm not supposed to be here
"No one's supposed to be here"
> It's not easy to explain
> Proceeds to do everything wrong and still explain what happened in snippets
> I've never lied to him
That's not true. You DID - especially regarding the motives in bringing his Viktor back to life. It was all based on a broken promise.
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> Your partner can speak for himself
I'm with Viktor here. He can absolutely speak for himself and he is not a piece of meat. One of the few times I'll give the author some credit for giving him a spine - but my mind can change.
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> It doesn't matter
> I've already told you both too much
Count how many times he says this. It's a lot. He says he cannot change the timeline but he is already doing that by interacting with Viktor and acting all touchy-feely and invoking the wrath of his younger self. He 'can't explain' because 'there's no time', but he can whip his dick out and engage in some double-dipping. Make it make sense.
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> In love? Jayce isn't sure what that means
> Later admits that he knows what it means because he assumes his older self fell in love with him
> Admits he's a coward for not kissing Viktor when he sees his older self do it
So he knows what it means. And again we have the 'I can't tamper with the timeline/I can't explain' rhetoric when older Jayce just turns around and does it anyways.
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> Who the fuck cares
The future? Billions of lives that are at risk due to Mage Viktor? C'mon, man!

Jayce also has a point here: his older self keeps saying he 'cannot explain' what happened in the future and yet he's making a move on his partner and practically cuckholding him and expecting him to take it. It's a shitty and irresponsible move to make.
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> This is a poor use of time
> Proceeds to have a gangbang anyway
Logic.
> It wasn't as if he had kissed him
> Jayce was the one who did that. So if Viktor should be kissing anyone, it's him
Here's the thing: he IS kissing you, just a futuristic version of yourself. You're getting jealous of the future version of you despite asking 'Is This Love?' Pick a struggle.
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> He'd always thought it was jut bashfulness, but now he is considering Viktor had more feelings below the surface
You don't say.
> I remember how lacklustre you were at this age. You have no idea how to handle someone intimately
This is a future where Jayce was not in a relationship with Mel, so he doesn't have any experience with pussy eating. However, futuristic Jayce does, and he knows how to eat pussy, BUT he prefers white pussy to black pussy because White Pride Worldwide.
> Not someone as beautiful as him
Meanwhile it's a skeleton with shit-thin lips.
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> Do I have a say in this dick-measuring competition?
No, but your pussy does.
> It couldn't be that weird
You're getting cucked by the future version of yourself. I'd say that's pretty weird.
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> Velvet tongue
That's the second time that tongue has been referred to as velvet.
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> He punches himself. Not literally, again
Imagine if he did. It'd be a nice Fight Club reference.
> Sloppy sounds of his tongue on Viktor's sex
Ah, the classic 'Chinese noodles at 2 a.m.' sound.
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> Why did they wait so long?
Didn't you act shocked at future Jayce saying he was in love with your partner? If you knew all along, why DIDN'T you act on it?
> How he could circle his wrist with just one of his palms
He's just uwu so smol. If I read the 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' I really will learn how to make a soyjack and plaster every time I've read that line on it.
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> Then Jayce recalls the smug smirk of his alternative self's face and decides to keep his thoughts tucked away in his mind
Having disposable black girlfriends helps a lot, eh? That black sugar means nothing when white is the default.
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> He knows himself, now in more ways than one
There's no time to explain the future yet you can gangbang.
> Viktor's erect cock and suckling on it
And it's still barely the size of your dorsal head.
> Mixing in with the taste of Viktor's juices is a hint of saliva and musk of a man who probably hasn't cleaned his mouth in a while
He's sucking a large dick that hasn't been washed in six months, either. Imagine getting an STD from a guy with a mouth nastier than a WW1 trench and a dick with smegma so thick you could pave a road with it. Keep that dirty-ass mouth away from me.
> Spit directly on his twitching cock
Gross. You don't need to spit if he's already that wet.
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> Circling around Viktor's cock
See point above. These authors will never understand that writing a roid clit as a cock when you have a massive example of man meat standing right next to it is hilarity that will never be caught in words. 'Inadequacy' isn't even close to describing it.
> He can feel how slim and small Viktor is under his palms
Really waiting for the 'thumbs met in the middle' line. Any time now.
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> Even the faint taste of his own cum doesn't deter him
It should. Shit would taste like spoiled meat and cooked salamander. Even the late Anthony Bourdain wouldn't touch that shit.
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> I've always wanted you to
Alternative Jayce said he couldn't change the timeline yet here we are.
> Jayce has to take a second to visualize their size difference. The tip of his dick just about reaches Viktor's belly button
Ah, the classic 12 inch Hispanic Hog.
> You think I can't take you, right?
"It won't fit" "I'll make it fit" ahh ending.
> Presses the head of cock against Viktor's hole
I really thought this would be a gangbang so both holes would get filled, but no, it's the 'front hole'. Least it wasn't that ABO fic where the author thought she was being dastardly sexy by making our alpha male say that.
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> Sees a pair of hands wrap around Viktor's midsection
Closest we'll ever get to 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle'.
> How you deserve to feel like the most beautiful person in the world
Every time I read this, it smacks of projection. So many Viktor fans project onto him and would love nothing more than to be called beautiful despite looking like elephant seals, so they love imagining they're this character and have a beautiful, 6'2 Latino call them such. It's so fem-brained flowers and Brittany Spears posters are popping out of my head.
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> Someone who hasn't shown him an ounce of respect since they've laid eyes on each other
Despite that, he's fucking the 'man' of his dreams and altering the timeline - but in a GOOD WAY, because all that's needed to avoid an apocalypse is to stuff a pussy with a 12 inch dick. Forget any and all drama that happens in-between - you don't wanna lose THAT kind of meat. That white pussy needs to get stuffed to avoid a cosmic Holocaust.
> Bronze chest, alabaster skin
There's the creamy, white, pale, alabaster, ivory, white white white skin again.
> Feeling the squelching sounds of their fluids mixing
Again with the Chinese noodles at 2 a.m. sound.
> Gods, I love you too. I've never not loved you
Did we not start this off with him acting dazed and confused at what the word was?
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> His clothing and hammer are gone from the floor as well
How to be sent back in time: savour some white pussy and spew out a gallon of cum. Someone should've told Donnie Darko or Dio Brando that.
> I would have been yearning after you for Gods know how long if it weren't for him. Have some respect
He got punched in the face because he was cucking his younger self and antagonizing him. All that 'There's No Time/I can't explain' clichés were thrown aside from a gangbang.

Their post-coital bliss involves them talking about time travel and Viktor joking about how Jayce was totes jealous of his older self. Apparently, the apocalypse is now prevented because they now love each other. Forget all the other variables that would lead to the same ending and decisions made by others out of their control; they fucked and the future is saved! Woohoo! We love plot holes!
 
This author had a little bit of a crisis writing this one, and admits that it may not be her best work. In her own words:
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She had Hamsterbunsss, who I featured in the SJW art thread, illustrate this for her. The real horror is that this is the fanfic version of the 'Cats' movie, but instead of shitty music you just get this. Lines for this fic include:
- I need your cock in my cunt, I need you to fill me with kittens

bafkreigmilfa2qp53eqh2zm2ujeiuonrhhulhcmmajyr3nztu4l56al6k4.jpg
Better than the heart-shaped nipples, but not very good. Just basic shit.
Don't worry, dear girl, I'll be a shoulder for you to cry on. Now let's read the work you wrote after your house got set on fire.
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You'll never guess who this kitty is and what the plot twist is. We've got a shapeshifter on our hands.
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> A house cat
So one would assume he's house trained, eh? A real double entendre right there.
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If our shapeshifter is fine shitting outside, what else is he fine with doing outside? *wiggles eyebrows*
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You'd think a vet would know what sex a cat just by looking at its genitalia, but even here we cannot misgender a fucking cat. The cat is a 'little dude' vs the female it so obviously is. You can shapeshift from a human to a cat, but you cannot give yourself balls. Guess that's for slugs.
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> He didn't think that the cat was a stray, not with how well kept and clean it was
> You're too pretty to be a stray
You can either describe it as such, or have him say it. You don't need to write it twice.
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> You are a baby. Little baby boy
Are we pretending that cats are trans, now? If you can't determine a cat's sex now, there is no hope for you. Even troons get stunlocked by the 'How Do You Know?' question if their cats are male or female.
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> Little dude
How do you know?
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And there's the twist: the house cat is none other than our lil dood here, who inherited the Bunnypuppy strain from the CoD universe. Let's not address how humanity now has shapeshifters amongst them or how they are treated; just focus on the smut, goddammit!
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> He felt the bone-deep tiredness that anxiety leaves in your body sink into him
"He felt the bone-deep tiredness sink into him" works just as well.
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> He knows that cats can't understand humans
This cat with a bum leg can seemingly jump up on countertops no problem. Seems like a major detail to overlook, and that is on top of the injured front paw.
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> Not held back by their twisted hind leg in the slightest.
Huh, almost makes you think the disability is an afterthought and not something that directly impacts their life. I also love how he's still calling the cat a 'dude' despite knowing what sex it is.
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> A foot placed between Viktor's spread legs
That's not a sexual pose at all. It's also weird to do because who's manspreading like that in a vet's office at the front desk? You gonna spray some of that alpha male pheromones to make the uterus havers go crazy, too?
> Pale hands
There's that white, pale, alabaster, ivory, cream, milky white skin we all know and love.
> Realizes he's been caught; caught ogling his coworker's hands
He's doing that while standing BETWEEN his legs, btw.
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Yes, that's an incomplete sentence. I don't know if there was supposed to be an em dash or what, but someone's beta reader didn't catch that.
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> Matches you and I with our bum legs
Bum legs that are not drawn that way in the fanart, might I add. They look completely fine.
> Like fate
Well then I have to wonder what God allowed for shapeshifters who look like furries to wander around humanity, because that's definitely something in our evolution to overlook.
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> Watching private practices melt away into nothingness due to bad staffing and underpaying their workers
Sounds like they should unionize. Do they unionize their practice, or is it private practice for me but not for thee? Do they pay Sky a lower wage? These questions must be answered, stat.
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> He balls up the burger wrapper and wipes his hands on his scrub pants
Nothing says hygiene like having burger grease on your scrubs. Did we learn nothing from COVID?
> You can put the wrapper down, Jayce. I'm disabled, you can't just assault me
Oh I can think of something else he's going to assault you with. It's long, thick, veiny, and comes up to your belly button. No, it isn't a lava lamp, why do you ask?
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> Press a kiss to each eyelash he can see
You must have tiny-ass lips, then. A real soyjack put to life. That, or his eyelashes or so huge you don't need to worry about pest control because he'd just catch them like a Venus flytrap.
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What kind of lotion? Hopefully it's O'Keefe's.
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> He falls asleep before Viktor's door closes and wakes up to the sound of his door opening
This is one helluva way to write a time gap, and then the author forgets that it's even morning to begin with.
> Viktor doesn't have a lisp
I'm sorry, but when he's written as having one, he sounds like an even faggier version of James Charles. I didn't believe that was possible, yet here we are.
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> In the glow of the moon
Babe, you just wrote this happening IN THE MORNING, so the sun is out. The fanart also confirms that this happens in daylight. Where was your beta-reader? This got passed around in Discord and not a single person told you?
> Cat ears
> His pupils are huge
Holy fuck, this really is Cats the Musical.
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> Knee high socks
You know it's authentically tranny when:
> It's his Viktor leaning over him
> It's still his Viktor
> Forgets about the not-quite-Viktor lisp
So is it Viktor or not? Seems you can't decide on that basic fact.
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> Tastes sweet like cinnamon toothpaste
Is that his natural taste or did he actually use cinnamon toothpaste?
> Taunting Jayce like a cat in heat
And no matter what, don't misgender the clearly female cat-human. That pussy IDENTIFIES as a human man, thank you very much!
> He's inhaling honey
Oof, careful there.
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> Jayce can see how wet it is between his legs from here. It coats his thighs, turning the skin pearlescent
You really, really missed a chance to make a pussy joke there.
> I need your cock in my cunt, I need you to fill me with kittens
Now, hang on a minute. Do you have cat anatomy or human anatomy? Is it a cat vagina or a human vagina? He kept calling you a dude when you're a female cat, and you're able to gestate offspring. Are you going to plop out half-human, half-cat hybrids and if so, is that in the medical record somewhere? Do we have Aktion T4 for cat people? I must know.
> I need your cock in me
You said that already.
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> The pale sea of Viktor's back
No Dead Man's chest or Davy Jones' Locker here. You're just going to be wondering if this cat person will shit out hybrids like it's a sci-fi horror movie.
> Liquid dripping out of his cunt and pooling onto his balls
Is that because of his human pussy or pussy pussy?
> You were made for me, weren't you, baby boy?
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia. You also have to admire that he still doesn't want to misgender the cat person.
> His fingers find Viktor's cock, perky and erect between a tuft of pubic hair
So does the exogenous testosterone affect his physiology? Because those t-patches and creams are toxic to cats.
> He starts jacking Viktor's cock in an erratic rhythm, buried to the root in his cunt
This makes it seem as if he bent that roid clit around and is fucking him with it.
> His cock tip teasing his cervix
Ah, we're going with the Coke bottle cock, eh
> I need you to cum in my womb, fill me with our kittens
You said that already.
> Coating his cervix, cum squishing out with every extra thrust he could manage
Man, the Pillsbury Doughboy has really hit rock bottom if he's sounding like this.
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> His fingers squelch in the mess inside of him
So is he really gonna pop out half-human, half-cat hybrids and infect the world with Taylor Swift-looking Cat creatures? Because if that's the case, the US government is going to send in the PETA Marines to find out what sick shit is this. Maybe it's better that your father's house burnt down and you totaled your car, because that's Gods way of saying to stop writing this shit.

This next one comes from an author I actually like, so I wanted to see how she handled this subject. Needless to say, I did roll my eyes at this but wanted to give it a fair chance. This is not available to non AO3 users, but is rather long, so I'll do the usual: summarize the non important parts, and screenshot the interesting and/or juicy bits.
Viktor is a Chembaron in this one and Silco tells him they found our Latin Lover poking around one of the processing plants. He can't pay, because while his family is well-to-do they aren't drowning in money. They decide he can pay it off by using his face for blackmail pornography. Viktor is written as the 'librarian' to Silco's snake and they often work in tandem in how they can make money off of someone. They know Jayce will bring in a lot of money thanks to his looks. The damages - mostly caused by Silco's goons destroying things in turn - come up to $8000 (in gold, it must be said), but this is a number they make up to scare people into behaving. The things he broke were 'inconsequential'. Knowing he can't pay it off as he's a student, he jumps at the opportunity to pay it off in porn - just as the two wanted him to do.

They set up the cameras and Jayce walks in, being described as 'exceedingly handsome' for the third time, wearing makeup to cover up his bruises and donned in his Academy uniform. Viktor tells him he must refer to him as 'sir' or else he will be marched out of the room straight to Silco. He then tells him that he will be photographed naked and that he will eventually be sexually penetrated, to which he blushes and looks away. When told he can be photographed alone, the fees would only be reduced by 10% (from 25%). Either way, the boy is about to get his ass blown open because Silco's goons are the ones who are going to be participating and all Viktor can promise is that he 'won't be maimed'.

While setting up with Jayce looking all pitiable and bug-eyed, Viktor inwardly admits that he's his type and that Silco must have known that when he found him. They do have instant cameras, but they take pictures in sepia tones, so they're similar to the ones from the 1930s with the quickness of a Kodak camera.

Jayce strip teases. Viktor likes his muscles and wonders how he has them as a student. He suspects he isn't virginal, but shy, and there's another remark about his muscles and how they flex under his clothes as he takes them off. He then starts posing Jayce and remarks that he would look great in shibari (the rope art). More remarks on how his body is gorgeous and then he moves to unbuttoning his pants. The reader waits with baited breath to see how big he is below the belt.
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That's a first. Usually authors will drone on about how, even flaccid, he can break down a door with that man meat. Of course this could change and he's a grower, not a shower, but I agree: the potential is there.
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Great. Now we have the queercatfan sentence structure. I swore this wasn't an issue with this author's earlier work's, but maybe Beth's shit really has corrupted me.
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> This inexperienced shell was a performer, a person who made the whole room look at him
There. Much better.
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This is the fourth time he has been described as beautiful.
> I would use a series of dildos
Normally one would probably think he would be trying to 'loosen up' his beautiful boy there before sticking his own dick in, but no. He literally has no dick.
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> But you will need to follow my instructions completely, as they are for your benefit
Queercatfan needs to be burned at the stake for infecting this fandom with this shitty writing.
> Mainly fucking men much larger than himself
Are they aware a pooner is fucking them or are they all blindfolded? It's almost as bad as finding out you got fucked by a Thai ladyboy.
> As this was his workroom and not his personal collection
This can be added to the prior paragraph.
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> No one wants to see an old man in this position
Correction: no one wants to see the Runeterran version of Asmongold walk them through a BDSM session.
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> Beautiful, Jayce and I know just the finishing touch.
*Beautiful, Jayce. I know just the finishing touch.
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> Never had someone touch me there sir
Well at least it's not the kind of bullshit tradfujos do where they freak the fuck out if their designated top gets fingered.
> Buttox
Huh. Never seen that instance used before. You learn something new everyday. Using informal slang rather than 'buttocks' seems to be quite the overlook.
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> Beautiful, Jayce
Take a drink based on how many times he says that.
> Which earned him a whine, but it was quickly replaced with a training dildo
There.
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> He pulled out the training dildo and picked something with a bit more heft
Not bad for a 'workshop' that doesn't have your personal collection lying around. Imagine being the Chembaron known for using dildos on people. Sounds like a plot found in The Boys - oh, wait, that WAS a plot (or close enough with the cake farting).
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> Fuuaaa fuck fuck fuck
Accurate representation when you lose your position in League.
> His young paramour
We're there, already?
> Staring back at him in shock and horror, instantly realizing his mistake
Commas are your friend.
> Never fully catching the airway, allowing Jayce the pleasure of begging for mercy
See point above.
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'Rabbit' is the common term used for bottom Jayce. It's a reference to his buck teeth.
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> It was just him and Jayce, enjoying each other in delicious debauchery
> Make sure that he feels good, comforted, safe
You can't even do sexual torture right because safety and consent is your first priority. You're supposed to be the Runeterran version of the Mafia. What do you mean you care about consent?
> Make him an offer he couldn't refuse
Marlon Brando would make him smuggle cocaine up his ass. If you want to be the Big Bads, make them do bad things.
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*Peeking
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> He had done this dozens of times over the years, watching as handsome young men fought with themselves against the pleasure and broke themselves over their choices
Given the choice between fucking themselves on a dildo vs fucking the Roach King, I can see why they'd choose the dildo. It's their version of 'I choose the bear'.
> So pretty, with his sweat glowing in the light, hair tousled, his eyes rolling in the back of his head
There we go.
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> Now he was captured for all eternity as a perfectly well-fucked rabbit
OK, there's the quotable line for this fic.
> Sweetness and sunshine, so proud of himself
*He smiled, all sweetness and sunshine, so proud of himself
> Even with streaks of grey, he knew he could catch someone's eye
Is it because of the dildos, or that dried up prune cunt? I gotta know if that shimmer is keeping things wet down there.

Viktor then tells Jayce his name and offers to buy his debt by keeping the pictures he took for himself. Jayce, suspecting a catch, asks what it is, and Viktor says he wants to have sex with him. He asks if he will be the receptive partner because he is 'a little raw' and Viktor offers him the chance to give him oral as he is a 'self-made man'. Jayce doesn't get the double entendre of this, but the readership is meant to assume he's got a Frankendong or made himself a robo-dick. Either way, Jayce accepts the proposal and says he has a lot of experience with it, so his confidence is through the roof. Viktor asks him if he likes older partners, and Jayce, through a veil of embarrassment, says yes, but later says Viktor is 'really, really handsome'. They start undressing and we get a smut scene of sorts. There is no penetration, unless you count a tongue.
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> Tattoos like his were practically expected in Zaun
> He had forgotten they were a bit of a novelty for most Pilties
The author doesn't elaborate whether she's referring to zippertit tattoos or just tattoos in general. She actually doesn't focus much on the trans element for once.
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> Viktor liked hard facts and measurable outcomes
> Refuses to ever admit that he's female or acknowledge that his body is female
Lol. Lmao.
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> He was wet
> Soft. Warm. Wet
Did you expect him to be dry, or something? Like sandpaper?
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> The sensation, a different sort of satisfaction
This is an incomplete sentence. "The sensation was a different sort of satisfaction." There.
> Taking his entire bottom growth in his mouth
That's not much. It's only two inches.
> Warm and strong, gentle and safe, eager and beautiful
You know it's not a real BDSM safe when the author can't stop stressing how they want everyone to be safe. It isn't about safewords, either, but a general sense of safety. Which sex is more concerned about that, again?
> Stoking him back to front
For a minute I thought she meant 'stroking', but stoking works too as that's how you start a fire.
> Kissing him as reverently as before, drinking him in, literally humming with pleasure at the task
Much better.
> He kept teasing and sucking, increasing his intensity in measured increments
There's not much there that he can work with.
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> It wasn't deep, but for someone who wasn't keen on being penetrated it was perfect
That tongue will go deeper than your t-dick ever will. Remember that.
> Fuck him. Fuck this
My sentiment exactly.
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> Silco was flipping through the instants, absently nodding at the results
Commas are your friend.
> Started dislodging the camera from its stand and walked over to the two of them with it in hand
See point above.
> He knew he was at a disadvantage
Funny how that always happens.
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> Silco knew Jayce was his type
Which he already acknowledged in the beginning of the fic.
> I decided (to) settle his debts
> Fucking fucker
Guess that buck'o'five wasn't enough.
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> He held out his hand, formalizing the exchange
Commas are your friend.
> Not exactly the stupidest use of money but it was damn near close
There. Sounds better, doesn't it?
> Being interrupted mid-tongue fuck seemed certainly justifiable at this point
OK, this made me laugh. There's a tinge of self-awareness here.
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Some WIPs shouldn't be completed and/or should be rewritten and edited. The queercatfan sentence structure tanked this one. I've read this author's other works and have enjoyed them, and she does have a very popular fic that was illustrated by Yakichou, so to see the quality dip disappointed me. While it isn't as awful as the one I'm going to post next, it was a real downer. It could have been a lot better.

This is from Cadoan, a well-known author in this fandom. This is part of the BigBang and she collabed with an artist, as it is a mutual exchange. The quality of said artists vary. This is them celebrating it:
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What is this art, you ask?
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That's not even her worst one. You're working with this quality of art and congratulating them for it? People really will slobber over the worst shit. I also find it funny how he's brown, but the penis belongs to a white man - probably after being cleaned of all that grime and smegma.
With the shitty quality of that art out of the way, I can begin diving into this project.
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> He could feel the arcane festering in his leg, spreading through his body like some sort of rot
I highlighted this to see if the author would ever come back to this. I guarantee you she will not.
> Would it ever matter in the end?
You tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter-er-errrrr
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> He wrapped his hand around his soft cock and gave it a few trying pumps
I don't need to remind you this guy hasn't bathed in months. That is one smelly, dirty dick he's holding there, like rotting meat and foul dick cheese, and he's going to jerk it. As bad as that is, it's not the worst thing that's going to happen. That's next:
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> Sucked two fingers into his mouth, tasting grime and dirt
> Sticks said fingers right into his asshole, that hasn't been cleaned or wiped properly in months
Yeah, he only goes into the second knuckle because he's either got shit clogged up there or he's been shitting himself for weeks after eating bad meat. You think GRRM's 'the more she drank, the more she shat' was bad, well - ever tried fingering yourself in the asshole after spending time in a ravine?
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> He couldn't wash his hands in the pond of water that collected at the bottom of the ravine as that was his only drinking water
Congrats. That water will still get shit in it because you need to use your hands to drink. Hope you like dysentery.
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I'll admit, I did like this scene before it devolved into the dream orgy. I'm not getting over the fact his ass is unwashed and that's apparently hot as fuck to these people.
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> Don't overthink it
I'll say. If he was getting his dick sucked as it was, someone is going to vomit. That smegma is on the level of the infamous MLP cum jar.
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> Through the lavender pastel hair covering his mound
Glad the Tarzan pubes went through a trek through Equestria and came out that colour.
> Fingers on each side of his swollen cock
What I find funny is that, despite this being a dream, the author remains committed to this character having magic vaginas when they can have any genitalia they want. She really wants to hammer home the, 'PIV sex is the default' argument. No double dicks in THIS Christian server!
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> Allowing him to push the whole length of his cock past his lips
That 'cock' is only two inches, remember. It's easy to shove it into your mouth and 'take it so well' when it's smaller than a Reese's cup.
> Circle Viktor's narrow waist
Cadoan has used the 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' line before. I'll bet Hitler's left nut that she'll do it again.
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> Angled his cock and sank down on it, continuing until he was buried fully inside
This again assumes that dick is sparkly and clean, because ain't no way is shoving something that the CDC would lock away in a Level 4 lab up your hooha a good idea.
> The men on top of him
Lol. Lmao.
> He flattened his tongue against Viktor's cock
Guess he magically brushed his teeth, too. The Arcane must have some great dentists.
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> He hadn't meant for Jayce to fall down the ravine and hurt himself
Yes, he did. He needed it to happen so he wouldn't balk when it came time to kill him at the commune. He knew what he was doing.
> His heart still ached the same as it had done the day he had lost his Jayce
His Jayce is still alive, perpetually, as a statue. That should be absolutely horrifying but nooooooooo....it's romantic, cuh.
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> This was not the plan. He couldn't get this close to the Jayces that made it this far into their journey
> Proceeds to break every rule because he's just that horny and lonely
> His large hand shot out to wrap around his thin wrist
He's just uwu so smol.
> Let Jayce press their lips together in a kiss
This is a guy who has not brushed his teeth in MONTHS. You are going to taste and smell the nastiest gingivitis as well as rotting meat in his teeth. If there is anything that will kill a sex scene immediately, it's bad breath/dirty teeth/rotten teeth and dick cheese.
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> Guilt over the fact that this Jayce wasn't his, guilt that he had given into the temptation
So did he do this all the time or is this just an exception? As it turns out, he DOES do it all the time, and dooms these timelines on purpose because he wants that pussy filled. He really is worse than Griffith.
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> The Arcane that had touched them both that connected their souls
The same Arcane that is corrupting and rotting his flesh? The same one YOU are slowly killing him with? It looks like the author forgot that simple fact and forgot about his rotten leg. That shit would smell too but fuck that, we need to doom thousands of timelines because you want to chug some dirty smegma.
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> He leaned in to kiss him
> The same person that Viktor had doomed his own reality for
Would it kill you to doom him with some mint toothpaste? Imagine tongue-fucking this guy and you get some rotten salamander down your throat. How do you end up sounding dirtier than Bluefolf?
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> The same passion he would doom every reality for
So what was the point of throwing him down that ravine, then? Punishment? Because that could have all been avoided with you just implanting the memories of stone Jayce into him. He could have climbed to the top completely healthy, if a little mentally unwell.
> He remembered them kissing, pressed together naked, making love
I assume he had a bath and was shaved when this happened, vs fingering a dirty asshole that hasn't been wiped or washed in SIX MONTHS.
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> He pleaded for Jayce to come back to him
YOU TURNED HIM INTO A STATUE. IT'S YOUR FAULT, YOU DUMB FUCK
> I am trying to fix it all. My mistakes, they are -
Entirely self-inflicted. Now, enjoy some gum disease.
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> His limps were colored a dark, purplish black
They're about to turn a completely different colour from the STD he's about to give him from that unwashed dick. "Let me take care of you" how about you take a bath first, you dirty wetback? If you're so filthy the cartels don't even want to touch you, what does that say?
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> He wrapped his other hand around his impossibly skinny waist
It's the 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle' iteration. We get it: he's so fucking skinny he makes the 90s heroin chic look plump.
> How their atoms create new molecules
The only thing your atoms are going to create is a brand new disease the likes of which the world has never seen. We're talking shit the Umbrella Corporation doesn't even want to weaponize. We're talking new world syphilis ravaging millions looking like a trip to the candy store. WASH. YOUR. DICK.
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> They were both left panting when he finally bottomed out, buried to the base
> Buried himself to the hilt again
Cliché.
> He found his swollen cock
He's touching that with literal shit-covered fingers. He never washed his hands after fingering his ass, remember.
> Hot sticky waves
I'm gonna need an H-bomb to clean this up.
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> Let us get ready
How about you take a fucking bath? You're capable of ending entire timelines yet can't materialized a pressurized hose to clean him up? Luckily for him, Dirty Jayce ends up getting sent back, and his statue Jayce ends up being reborn into a clean, naked version of himself. No more rotten smegma and food in his teeth! He's clean as a whistle and doesn't look or smell like a New Delhi shitting street. Just don't think too hard about a guy potentially spreading a brand-new disease with that dirty dick!

If you are going to be a hater, be devoted and thorough. That way, people might get a chuckle and always remember you.
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Nah, I still think I'm gonna be a transphobe. If fanfic is free, so is hatin'.
 
This spicy Italian meatball decided to dive right into a Firefighter AU by watching only three episodes of Chicago Fire, decided that was enough, and hoped against hope that she wouldn't get lynched. It's her first time writing smut and a trans character, so please, keep the 41% rope away from her, yeah?
We start with an apartment complex on fire. Vi and Jayce are going door-to-door for survivors, and the author decided to immediately break the tension by having Vander call Jayce a 'sexy meat kebab'. Jayce is then startled by a cat and its owner - the aforementioned 'don't lynch me' Viktor', and he tells him it's all going to be OK. Viktor decides to waste precious time by grabbing his jacket and telling him the cat's name is Rio, as if the building is not in the middle of turning into a Roman candle and they aren't suffocating from smoke inhalation. No, seriously - they are cracking jokes and standing there until Vi comes up the elevator - that is somehow still working - to get them. She takes Viktor and the cat away and that leaves Jayce alone - his decision, naturally - to stand in the burning apartment. He makes it out of the window and jumps Assassin's Creed style from the second-story window. The scene ends, but don't worry, everyone's OK. Vander strides into the mess hall and tells Vi and Jayce they need to return to the hospital to correct their paperwork as their witness testimony doesn't add up. Why this became Law & Order, I cannot tell you. But hey, three episodes of Chicago Fire are enough.

As it turns out, they returned to the hospital for a police report, and not the police station itself, because Reasons, even though if it was foul play it is no longer under their jurisdiction but that of the local police department. The fire was caused by a cigarette butt that was dropped on the ground next to flammable chemicals and exposed wiring in the basement. The smoker? None other than Viktor, because he's been conducting 'mad experiments' in an apartment complex instead of building a nuclear reactor in his backyard.

There's a bit of dialogue between Vi and Caitlyn and them poking fun at Jayce getting all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at mentions of Viktor, 'the guy with the cat' he rescued.
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I wasn't kidding about the dialogue. This was translated, too, so the intent is definitely not lost in translation.
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> Russian-like
> Probably Czech
Those are two different ethnicities. Besides, you already knew he was Czech because Cait told you.
> He tried not to think of any possibility other than platonic love
??? You just saved the guy and you're already thinking of whether he's in a relationship? The fuck?
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> He had to stop talking now
Please do. You sound like a retard.

Vi later asks if Jayce asked Viktor out. Thank God he didn't, because I don't know what I'd do with the cringe.
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> That was not the time for a protest chained to the fire truck's engine
And what are you protesting FOR? You've been a professor for years and never once demanded that Zaun have its own fire department? What?
> Washing the hood of one of the vehicles with a water hose. His wet dark t-shirt clung to his skin
Oh God, not the sexy fireman in a wet t-shirt! It's the cliché of all clichés!
> Not at all prepared for the memory of being lifted by those arms
You barely weigh more than 90 lbs soaking wet. His backpack would weigh more than you.

Viktor goes into the mess hall and is greeted by Vi, Loris, and Mylo, who's sporting a sore arm after an arm-wrestling competition gone bad. Mel makes a joke about there being 'too much testosterone' in this room, which is funny as none of it will go towards our lil dood here. Vi takes his presence as a threat, thinking he's going to file a malpractice complaint, when he's really there to offer food. The author spells 'Whoa/woah' as 'wo'. As Viktor is getting the air squeezed out of his lungs from Vi, everyone else is making jokes about how he's 'the cat guy' and how he is totally Jayce's type. Viktor goes to leave, but then nearly gets barreled over by Jayce who ran into the mess hall in a hurry, catching him like he's a real Cinderella waiting for her prince. They start flirting - and everyone is watching them, btw - before Jayce notices the food Viktor gave them as a thank-you gift. Turns out, Jayce doesn't even like doughnuts and before Viktor's disappointment can hurt him, Jayce shoves a pink one in his move. He loves to munch pink things vigorously.

But before our flirts can continue with their ham-fisted dialogue, a call goes out for fire and ambulance services and they get into motion. Viktor is then approached by Mel, and the author could not resist making her the quasi-villain in this:
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Nothing like the token black woman being the villain even when she isn't even the focus of the ship. Here she is trying to sell this man a calendar and our white fave is *this close* to using a racial slur.
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> Witch
> Objectifier of the human body and a sadist
Lmao, what does that make YOU, buddy? Never change, white fujos. I'd respect you more if you just called her a nigger.
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> Her sister's school is on fire
> Makes cock jokes and how a guy who saved a man and his cat needs to get fucked
Yeah that's totally appropriate. Nothing about the situation, who called, whether the building was evacuated, etc.
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Now here we get a major plot hole that the author isn't even aware she wrote: Viktor was initially at the fire hall with Mel when the alarm was pulled. There would have been no time for him to get back to the school, evacuate the students, and do a head count. This makes it seem he teleported there a la Skyrim style.
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> Had a strength inside him that felt unstoppable
That includes teleportation magic because there's no way he could be at two locations simultaneously. This is a major oversight the author and her beta-readers missed.

As it turns out, the school fire alarms being pulled was a prank done by Powder and Ekko. Viktor gives them a verbal lashing before demanding that Jayce come to his office for his own dressing down - a true double entendre - for just doing his job. Viktor rages at him that he picked him up without his consent and how he didn't like that (spoiler: he did, in fact, like that) and they decide to fuck in his office while children are outside. Very smart.
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> It didn't seem like you were so very against being manhandled without your consent last time
He was in danger. Consent is automatically given.
> I'd let you manhandle me however you'd want now
Called it. He hates it but he really likes it because it turns him on.
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They're doing this in the school Vi thought was on fire. This is the worst time to fuck because the mood should be completely different. You were panicking about kids you thought were missing and how you want to ride a firefighter's dick? HUH?!
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> Your punishment for lifting me without consent
You just said that you'd let him manhandle you. I know Italians are dramatic but COME ON.
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I don't know why she wrote him as shocked when it was clear that 'wet patch' was not followed by an erection of its own. It's obvious what kind of plumbing he has - it's pipe that needs to be laid, not pipe-fighting-pipe.
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> Foreign words, or at least Jayce thought they were words
Now imagine if I said an excited Italian was just speaking 'foreign words' that aren't really words. I'd be basically saying they were talking gibberish. Would a True and Honest Italian appreciate that, or would they get mad? Probably not nearly as mad as a Czech being called a Russian.
> So good, you drive me crazy, my hero
'And they say that a hero can save us, I'm not gonna stand here and wait'
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> Licking the juices that were slicking his own mouth
I know she's referring to pussy juice here, but it makes it seem he's chugging his own spit.
> Rubbing his hard, clothed cock over his still wet, sensitive sex
No actual smut happens. It's all clothed sex in this Christian server, baby.
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> Hot and fucked out
Where?
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> He really did look like a puppy licking its owner
We're never leaving behind the dog allegories, are we?

They clean up and Jayce notices that Viktor has the calendar open to December, when it's only April - correction, it's late March, author forgot the month she set this in - where he's naked with a Santa hat over his junk. He writes down his phone number and tells him 'thanks for the donation'. Guess he didn't need to call Mel a manipulative devil after all if that's what he really wanted.

This next one is a long one, so buckle up tight. It is from an author known to write underage content and is a connoisseur of said content. While this one features adults (for once) it takes a stalker/serial killer bent that reminds one of Dexter or Silence of the Lambs. It's OK to be a creepy stalker provided you're hot. Your soul mate will love it if you mail them cow hearts while singing arias over grand ole Venezia. Includes this winning, quotable line that will make you go, 'the fuck is wrong with fujos?'
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😐
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> He'd had no say in what Viktor wore to the actual wedding
I guess our lil dood only got a say in wearing a tuxedo vs a white dress our Lascivious Latino so desperately wanted.
> A visceral mental fantasy of gutting the man
> Be a Latino
> The first thing a white woman does is write you as a sadistic murderer
Must be a day ending in Y in California.
> (it's) more than a little overboard, but he always is when he's angry
He just doesn't turn green and he doesn't become an Avenger, sorry.
> As if he should have been wearing kitten heels and a fucking Betty Boop dress
The author did say she was going to feminize this character, and damn if she didn't decide to go the Dita von Teese route. What part of this character is a True and Honest Man, again?
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> Sometimes bored enough that suicide begins to seem like a tempting option
He's a sociopath, so suicide isn't done out of profound grief or suffering. It's done to 'show off' and prove a point; 'What would you do without me?' is the motive for their deaths. The violence is a means to an end because they want the witnesses to their actions horrified.
> Intense. Off-putting. Obsessive
You know it's bad when even the school counselor isn't drumming it up to mere Latino love, but a dangerous kid that should probably be in youth prison - or get a Netflix documentary.
> Broke into a girl's locker to leave her a birthday present
> Has a picture of the counsellor's face beaten in with a hammer
They start young, and they usually start with women. Isn't it gender affirming to know your serial killer boyfriend engages in sex-typical behaviour with you?
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> Research is a useful tool for scientists and sociopaths alike
I think the author is speaking from experience here. I do have to laugh at the 'cultural homogeneity' bit as if they don't solely focus on the white man (and a half) and center their experiences over everyone else. It's a case of a progshit claiming to be for the blacks and browns while refusing to step foot anywhere they might roam.
> Sliver of fingernail under dermis
Speaking of research: the dermis is the middle layer of skin, not the surface. You are not scratching that open with a nail.
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> He thinks about the wedding night as he stalks Venetian alleyways in search of his bride
1. Notice he's the one feminizing Viktor and innately views him as female, whereas Viktor wants to be seen as male and wear male clothing, and 2. It's amazing how he did not get robbed by African migrants. He isn't going to 'slink around', he's going to get jumped and beaten.
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> A peak of white lace from the underwear he'd worn for Jayce
Very masc.
> Enough to piss himself on the walk back to their room
Was that part of the kink or was he just that blasted?
> He'd much rather undress and unconscious Viktor
Ah, we've got a rapist in the making, too. Implying he isn't one already.
> Not that Viktor asking for things tends to fact into their relationship
Funny how that works. Funny how the trans man is always the one getting stalked and abused by the 'cis' male, and never the other way around. What do you mean by that, dear shotacon?
> Sniffs the air like a hunting dog
They really are never beating the allegations that they only seem him as a beastly accessory. This has happened way too often to be a fluke.
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> He sent a letter, back in November, that had been ignored
> Failed to account for his emotional sensitivity
Oh yeah, that's a very male-centric way of stalking. The 29 text messages is a nice touch along with the burner phones. Any more and he'll be claiming he's a Nigerian prince, too.
> Five page love letter
> Installs secret cameras in his underground lab and apartment
> Utterly convinced they are soul mates
She's managed to make this character worse than Dexter Morgan, John Doe and Homelander. Amazing work.
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> Isn't sure he possesses the willpower necessary not to jump him in the halls
Latinos and rape allegations/accusations, name a better duo.
> Able to find all his ex-boyfriends on Facebook
> Says he's a 'great catch' even when those thin-ass lips would be mocked to hell and back as well as those lack of thighs
> Doesn't matter anyways, he gifts him a cow's heart that's drained of blood but somehow isn't
He also killed the butcher, too. Real Homelander shit.
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> Glaring wall of evisceration via text
> Links to articles and impassioned pleas about animal cruelty
Yeah, that's a female-centric thing to do, but even then, it's also remarkably stupid. You are dealing with a serial stalker. Most women would either obsessively block or prepare to file charges. Our lil dood here just takes it in stride.
> He loves Viktor so much because they are soul mates and meant to be together
Says the Latino man whose major character trait is being an obsessive stalker, rapist and murderer. Anything else and he'll be a villain in 'Sicario'.
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> The first thing he's going to do is manhandle him
Funny how that keeps happening to trans men.
> He also promises to crush his wind pipe with his big man hand
> Gets a flashback on how he nearly killed another boy by shoving him onto the tracks Jeet-style
> Murders a guy he says 'deserved it' but has no remorse over the boy he left to die
Right. Also, the bit about humans smelling like pigs also suggests some research here. We're similar in DNA, so it fits. Jayce being a med student while also being unconsciously transphobic and ableist is also funny, even if the author doesn't realize it.
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> In any universe, timeline, or possibility
Is he a rapist in all of them? Because these white fujos really seem adamant on making that a fact.
> He could fix that if Viktor asked for it, and even if he never does they could spend the rest of their lives fucking
You know he's an unreliable narrator because he's the one talking and making himself important. What's that about cis men centering themselves in everything? It clearly isn't a problem when it comes to your spicy straight yaoi.
> Fucking Viktor is like putting his hand on a hot stove
Odd choice of words, but OK.
> He is comically unequipped to take him - given his size, given Jayce's
Let me guess: our Latino rapist here is packing the legendary 12 incher, the one that makes SWAT teams flee. There'd be nothing smaller or average if it didn't mean rearranging someone's organs in their uwu so smol uterus.
> His reaction gives him cuteness aggression
So basically the only thing trans men can give off, as cis men are not threatened by them. The deer allegory is just the cherry on top.
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> They're perfect for each other
In all honesty, this would make for a great OC. It's a great exploration into a twisted motherfucker who thinks he's owed someone's body. It has absolutely nothing in common with this character.
> How else will be ensure that he is his husband and justify all of this?
Man, we've got everything from NPD to BPD to sociopathy. Just shove everything in there to create a blend of fuckery never seen before.
> Steady increase in libido that takes almost three years to settle into a routine
Well, damn. Those SSRIs must be hammering that testosterone into the ground.
> He wonders now if he isn't at all partially responsible
Mailing someone a cow heart and people's organs will do that.
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> He has a perfect pussy
I love how straightforward this bit is compared to the audacity of everything else.
> Demure as a fucking lamb
Ah, I see we're using this language while retaining the 'hunting dog' and beastly ones for our Latin Lover here. There's nothing behind that stylistic choice, I'm sure.
> He shaves in the heat
...dry? Why the fuck would he shave dry? Your 'pretty in pink' lobster there would have the nastiest razor burn known to man.
> Plush lips and swollen little cock
That would be surrounded by nasty sores. USE MOISTURIZER
> The split where he opens up in the middle
Oh, there's gonna be an even bigger split when he's through with him.
> He needs to fuck him
> He is not unfamiliar with CNC
Son, that's not CNC. That's just full on rape. The whole 'as far as fetishes go rape is relatively tame' thing also FLOORS ME because what the fuck you mean rape is a 'fetish' and that's not the worst that can happen?
> Viktor doesn't like choices
Now who decided that for him?
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> Sometimes his fantasies turn ugly
You don't fucking say. He said rape wasn't 'all that bad' of a 'fetish'.
> He hasn't killed at all since the slaughterhouse and that was forever ago
You'll never guess what spurs him into a 'murderous rage': another 'cis' man going after his prized bride!
> Freshly shaken from the panic attack
Funny how that is written as being worse than the comment around rape. Just Guy Things.
> They're oversensationalized garbage that most people in his field scoff at
Suuuuuuuure they are. Oversensationalized garbage from the author who doesn't know that Venice smells from its shallow lagoons and that it can get nippy at night during the autumn months.
> His baby can't bake at all
He's so independent as a man, he can't even cook for himself! This True and Honest Man would manly find a way to burn water dude-ly. Look at him fucking up pre-made cookie dough! What a loser!
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> Unbuckles with such speed that he tears a hangnail in the process
> It goes from a hairline pin to a divot in his knuckle
FUCKING. OUCH. That made me cringe more than the snippet about him rearranging Viktor's insides.
> Devastated he's chosen to hide his perfect pussy for this
I am still wondering if he shaved that shit dry.
> His underwear, still unwashed and crumpled from the day he pulled them from Viktor's laundry hamper
Ah, yes: nothing like huffing stale T-addled vagina juice like you're going to turn into Mr. X from Resident Evil. All you are going to smell is crusty sweat and onions, not 'delectable pussy juice'.
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> Happens to coincide with one of his worst self-esteem days
I wonder what that is from an outsider's perspective, because this is a sociopath talking so they honestly believe they are the victim in everything.
> He tries to approach any evidence of mental health with neutral, clinical interest
"Rape wasn't the worst fetish" ahh neutrality. I'm sure he tells himself it's for science while he hunts down those chuds.
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> First time he has killed since the slaughterhouse
> Throws said corpse in an alleyway where there might be cameras
Very, very smart. He strangles the guy, considers that he will now have to dispose of the body, and just dumps him behind a restaurant. Least you could have done is sold the body to Sum Ting Wong and Co. and say it's just a different kind of pork and rice. Instead, he kills him in what could accurately be compared to Detroit's backstreets, so maybe it really is isolated after all.
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> Four hours later riding the biggest toy he owns
This is meant to show this is a 'freak4freak' relationship and that Viktor is honestly charmed by all the attention he gets.
> Pin Viktor by his lower belly and scramble his insides properly
He doesn't need a knife for that when his dick is a death dagger.
> Fuck him as hard as he wants, until he either passes out or breaks down bawling
Or until you give him a vaginal prolapse. Yeah, he might squirt, but you'll also physically turn him inside out and good luck explaining that to ER doctors.
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> His jaw grinds into fragile muscle and clamps down hard
Imagine getting an infection from that because a Latino serial killer with a gigantic dick that wants to 'rearrange your insides' wants to rape you as a fetish-not-fetish. Hawt.
> Force him to take Jayce's cock out here instead
Is he going to be as raw as his skin was when shaving, or his he going to magically squirt like a GTA truck?
> Shove the pills right to the back of his throat
Remember: he likes it better when his victims don't fight back.
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> He looks like he wouldn't mind being crushed in the slightest
He's just uwu so smol.
> He's so small that Jayce could probably choke him to death one-handed
Let me guess: he's barely above 5'0 and Jayce's hands are so big they can wrap around his waist twice with room to spare. He's just to itsy bitsy.
> Stream-of-consciousness horny bullshit
Sounds like something PrettyBadMagic would write. Pretty sure these two authors know each other.
> White of his throat. Prey animal pale, cadaver in the moonlight
There's that white swan-neck we know and love! Never a dull moment with our white, pale, ivory, creamy, white, pale, ivory, alabaster, creamy, white white white skin!
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> He lifts him in a bridal carry
I bet you you could fold in half like a deck chair and put him in a bag in your car, that's how small he is. Hell, you could shove him in the cooler with the Coors Lite like that pair of authors that decided that'd be great for a wedding.
> Four people he killed
> He thinks that kind of makes him a serial killer
You think?
> Involuntary psychiatric hold
Take a guess what he tells the (female) psychiatrist placed in his care.
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> Tends to be hostile to most therapists
Notice how nearly all of them are female. He doesn't do this with male ones.
> History with personality disorders
You don't say. Those people are absolute nightmares, and the proof is right here in front of you.
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> Seven years ago now
He's been doing this seven years and he occasionally feels 'shame', but it's not shame in the traditional sense. The only thing he feels shame on is a sense of inadequacy, not due to guilt. He's worried about his perception as a lover and his sexual prowess being threatened.
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> He isn't a sociopath
You're a sociopath and a borderline. That is confirmed by the 'I'm not scared of you rejecting me anymore' line, because that is solely based around his mood and wants, not those of his victim. Stalkers who may be rejected by the object of their stalking often resort to murder.
> He just wants to make sure he's safe
By engaging in 'consensual non consent' a la drugging and actual rape. Fun guy, there.
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> Everything in Europe is narrow, maybe that's why his bones grew that way
And America is what? Fat? Too bloated and heavy with hormones? Forget the t shots - he could become a man with all those hormones in the beef and chicken alone!
> His big hands dragged over his torso
Yes, he has the yeti punchers.
> Surprised to see he's shaved
Did he do it dry this time, too?
> The veil completes his look. His white dress is stained black along the hemline
I bet it stinks like foul water. I'm still amazed none of them got robbed because you know a Gypsy would want that dress.
> The most beautiful boy he's ever seen
No hips, no ass, no lips, no colour in said lips, a literal skinned chicken wing. But that's MILF material these days.
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> Thinks he can force his whole hand inside him
I mean, knowing this guy, you know he fucked the Thanksgiving turkey one too many times. Shoving his fist in there and ripping out the uterus thinking it's an edible wouldn't be out of the blue for him.
> He's messy with it, drool and slick down his chin like a wild beast
Always a beast, always an animal, always some creature that fulfills every nasty stereotype you can imagine. Even competitive racists cannot compete with the white fujo. You want a reflection of pre-Hart-Celler Act America, there you are.
> Fingers pruned
Hey, our lil dood might be drugged, but that pussy still poundin'.
> Bullies the rest in as though his entire body isn't screaming at him not to
Seems rather redundant as he was going to do it anyways.
> Ragdoll lethargy, soundless other than the blunt breaths he keeps forcing out
Well, yeah. He's drugged. He only gets out of it because he's fucked too hard, and I'm not joking about that.
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> He's actually passed out
You really think someone under 90 lbs wasn't going to pass the fuck out after you drugged them? Really? All that medical knowledge and you still pulled a blank?
> Equally so is the urge to fuck him with all the sweet slow tenderness; to make love to him
Is calling rape a fetish that 'isn't so bad' and stalking someone for seven years the definition of sweet, sweet love? We might have different standards for that.
> Too warm to be a dead body
This makes me think he raped corpses on top of murdering them, but since he's exclusively attracted to vagina, he might have avoided boinking corpse assholes. Can't be damaging our masculinity, now.
> Spearing in hard, Viktor's thighs forced almost to his shoulders
Disability doesn't exist when you're getting mating pressed, sweaty
> Voice thick with residual terror
Yeah I don't think this is 'consensual non consent', buddy, this is just rape.
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> want you to break me, please
That's not a hard thing to do. True enough, Jayce just decides to punch him in the stomach, bruising and popping those organs he's rearranging and who the fuck cares about internal bleeding when you've got internal dicking?
> So much blood in his cock that it's painful, balls tight up against his body
He must be bigger than 12 inches because you usually don't get light-headed unless you're packing a big one.
> Deep up against his cervix where it has to hurt
Notice how it's all about pain, here, while he maximizes his pleasure. He only ever does this with female characters, which says a lot. He doesn't do this to male corpses, but he does punch the one he claims to love and drug and rape them.
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> One big paw around his throat
IIRC, his hands are so big he could lift up our lil guy with one hand. Those Donkey Kong hands have to be used for something.
> I'm not done using my wife's little pussy. You just said I own you, so act like it by being good and fucking taking it
Fascinating how it's always the FTMs who get sexually owned and controlled by cis men, whereas their trans sisters wear the dog collars and demand their asses get plowed on the regular.
> Get me pregnant
Great. It's the 'GET PREGNANT GET PREGNANT' shit I saw in 'mango loco'. Bad memories, man.
> Already has him in a mating press
Guess that's the only applicable way after he punched his stomach so hard he became a pretzel. Abusing disabled people is fine if it's a kink, sweaty.
> He's coming again, unbelievably, he's coming again, that or the first one is still going
Knowing he's an unreliable narrator, I wager it's the latter.
> Never-ending torrent of wet, his cunt fluttering and milking Jayce's cock as if there is any possibility of wringing more come from it
So does he measure how much sperm he produces for his little waifu or is that aspect of his medical knowledge unimportant? They always make it seem like this man produces gallons of semen like a star breeding horse.
> He's hot pink where Jayce stretched him out, his hole still contracting and clenching
Honestly surprised he isn't black and blue like Grimace and the Hamburglar - if they got jumped and mugged in Detroit.
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See? The author pulled the rug right out from under you! This was all arranged, loving, and 100% consensual. Ignore the remarks on how this guy sent him 29 text messages and mailed him cow and human hearts. Ignore the fact that he said rape wasn't that big of a deal and that he's more likely to yeet that baby straight to Dracula's castle rather than knock his perfect pussy up.

This was loosely based on the author's own honeymoon, and I legit wonder if she really wants to get stalked in Venice and then drugged and raped, or if she wants to keep it a 'kink' and write fic where it's done to underage teens. All I know is that Dexter fucking Morgan would be a better boyfriend. At least you've got Doakes to help you out.

The rule that these types of fics are only successful because the rapist is hot is confirmed by this bookmark comment:
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Sure. I'll set you up so you can get jumped by a bunch of Africans who will happily punch you in the gut. They won't be as hot as your favourite caveman, but you can get your diversity sex quota in.

In this spin-off of 'Secretary' for a sub bottom week that is already saturated with content, Anon here decides to go YUUUUUUUUUUUGE with the cockiness, cockerels, and cocksures you can expect, coupled with gargantuan, gravitational ball sacs that could draw in their own event horizons. It's the best, the best I've ever seen, you've never seen anything like it folks, we're gonna hammer home trade deals with it. Lines for this fic include:
- Saltlick-sweet pre-cum coats impatiently down the length
- That includes scenting him with the dizzying, inebriating smell of his ball sac
- It's all musk and masculine, the smell clinging to the smooth, pendulous balls
- He has to admit, this is one of his favorite things: kissing and sucking each ball. They hang with the gravity of seed just waiting to fill him up
- The emptiness is quickly replaced by fingers, idly playing with his folds, slipping inside to test how his hot jizz fills him up so thoroughly.
- So wet for me all over. You like it when I stuff you, baby? You like that your pussy doesn't want to let me go?

I also discovered this author actually wrote a fic I liked, so let's compare and contrast. It also has art, which can be viewed here:
vesp - jayvik sketch comm (plain text ver).jpg
Look at those yeti punchers. It looks like he's fucking a child, despite the fact they're adults. He could pop off his head like a cork.
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Right off the bat we have a politician that sounds an awful lot like the Bigly Man, albeit that he's more muscular, hotter, and younger. He won't be tearing down historic buildings for ballrooms, but he will be tearing them down for sex dungeons.
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> Massive body
It's everything you expect: he's 6'2, written as 6'7, 280 lbs of solid muscle, the fujo's real dream. Men like that don't get fingers up their asses because that isn't 'manly'.
> I never expected my partner to sell me out like that
He wasn't. He was telling the truth that you were selling out your other partners for gain.
> That's the vicious, ruthless Jayce Talis he knows
He isn't vicious or ruthless. Even League's Giopara doesn't act like this. Fujos saw that bearded look and went, 'what if I made him an abusive rapist, pedophile or sex pest?' This guy has a WIZARD HAT in his room, he is a NERD.
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Partners are supposed to be honest with each other. He's straight up treating Viktor like he's John Bolton, lmao
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> Taking liberties with his body like he's a ragdoll
I am never getting over how these authors will always write the trans man as a floppy fleshlight/sex doll while the 'cis man' is always sturdy, in control, and uses their strength over them to make a point.
> Squeezes him enough to feel through his clothes
At this rate he could crush his hip bones because there isn't even enough flesh to grab in the first place.
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> Eager to drive his fingertips into his waist in a brutal grasp
He was already doing that.
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> Black, lacy panties
> Insists he did not wear it for Jayce's benefit
You don't wear expensive lingerie if you didn't intend to bait your 12'' Mexican man meat to go Sinaloa cartel on that pussy.
> Earns him a sharp slap across his ass
It'd be like playing a Tibetan bone flute because there's no ass there.
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> It's more an ornamental show of dominance
You don't say. It also says a lot how it's always the cis man with a penis doing it. What are you trying to say with that, dear Anon? That only penis owners can dominate? 🤔
> Is often blind when it comes to his own hypocritical nature
> Behaves like he's throwing a tantrum
We call it 'mantrum', or 'testicular tantrum' because this isn't how an adult acts. He only gets away with it because he's 'monstrously huge', because of course he is.
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> Jealousy never fails to manifest predictably
> Vicious pride of his hold over Piltover's Golden Boy
Is it really a hold when you revert back to a scared rabbit the moment this mantrum caveman starts growling?
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> Distinct protrusion pokes his lower back, heavy, insistent, and there
I bet he could mix a cement truck with it, that's how big he is.
> He's at the mercy of a very corrupt councilor
So much for holding him accountable. If you knew he was always corrupt (and it isn't in his nature to be corrupt, and that goes for both versions), why are you even partners with him?
> Petting him like he's an animal to be tamed
There's an animal here and it isn't the perfect pussy with protuberant lips here.
> If his partner weren't such a self-righteous prick
That applies more to Giopara, but he's at least an honest asshole. This isn't Talis; it's your fanon version of 'rough, sexually dominant alpha male' Talis that tradfujos just absolutely love.
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> He fists around the monstrosity
> Jayce Talis is, naturally, huge
Of course. There isn't a fic where he isn't. We can't have an aggressive alpha male who's average. We need the cement mixer, the fracking drill, the dick that could dig out Deepwater Horizon.
> Despite their grievances, his pussy aches
Of course it does. All these lines about being SOOO defiant and SOOO independent and it all melts away as soon as that 12 inch police baton starts smacking some bitches. Just observe the blowjob scene below.
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> Pulsing veins
Yes, it's one of those: thick as a Gatorade bottle, the stuff you see in la_bordeliere's art. I wonder what would happen if you bit down. Would it spray like blood in old horror films or would it be foamy like arterial blood?
> Saltlick-sweet pre-cum coats impatiently down the length
Nice, he produces enough semen for a star-studded race horse farm. You'll be winning every game with him.
> Tasting brine
Your vagina is definitely going to stink like the New Jersey harbour after this.
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> The way his cum had left streaks and silk strands across his face after he had sucked him off
Here I thought New York bakeries were expensive.
> Treats blowjobs like a novelty every single time
It says a lot when this 'beloved partner' decided that getting someone to choke on his dick was an expression of love. If anything, that is the most male-centric thing I've ever read because they legitimately do believe that. Radfems really did nail it on that.
> Tongue pressed into the meat without reprieve
Meat that tastes like literal spam. I do wonder what would happen if you bit on that vein.
> Enjoys sucking dick
You don't say. It's the only thing you're viewed as good for. It's funny how that keeps happening to trans men. You'll never be viewed as equal to men but you are natural cocksuckers.
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> The dick and balls being his favourites
> It's based on some primal urge buried deep in the nucleus of the brain - the cingulate cortex, if memory serves
Memory is not serving you well because it has nothing to do with 'scenting'. It has everything to do with motivational outcomes to behaviour, making it directly tied to mood disorders like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Given this characterization, that hits a lot closer to home than you think.
> That includes scenting him with the dizzying, inebriating smell of his ball sac. It's all musk and masculine, the smell clinging to the smooth, pendulous balls
So not only does this guy have a police baton dick, his balls can smash concrete. One cannot help but notice how 'masculine' here means 'the male with the largest genitalia and who acts the most aggressive'. They know what males are when it comes to their spicy straight porn and describing a man's huge balls.
> He has to admit, this is one of his favorite things: kissing and sucking each ball. They hang with the gravity of seed just waiting to fill him up
What happens when you squeeze them? Will they burst like a ripe orange?
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> Taking nearly all of Jayce inside his mouth
He doesn't have a problem until Big Nut Sac here decides to go jackhammer on him.
> He sucks a kiss to the side of his massive cock
We know. You can't stop obsessing over that monstrous male appendage. You know what males are because you associate larger genitalia with more masculinity.
> I knew it was for me
> Discovers it was for Dmitri
> Chimps out and decides to literally choke Viktor on his penis like he's Linda Lovelace
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> His voice sounding more and more like a dwindling flame
That's what happens when you try to pretend to be a man in front of 'more well-hung than hung' masculine man here.
> It's interrupted by Jayce's cock shoved past his lips, hard. Rough. Stuffing his mouth full
On the bright side, he won't need Botox for this thin-ass lips. All those big dick veins will plump them up with their natural adrenochrome.
> Every delectable inch of his perfect cock burrowing deeper in his mouth
I just think of a roided-up naked mole rat.
> The taste of him filling him up everywhere - his nostrils, mouth, and causing his eyes to water immediately
I'm surprised cum isn't coming out of your eyesockets. She does nearly have Viktor aspirate some of it where it DOES come out of his nose.
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> His mouth is nothing more than a welcoming hall for his thick cock
Guess he really is a living blow up doll, albeit those dolls have more 'meat' on them. Let this line be the titular motto for trans men: you are nothing more than a welcoming hall for penis owners while you gush (literally) over their big balls.
> Facefucks him at a callous pace. He's never been at the receiving end of such treatment
The fact he acts surprised at this when he is well aware his 'friend' is callous, manipulative, corrupt, hypocritical and a manchild isn't lost on me. This guy is like Chris Chan with muscles and you want to act shocked at his behaviour?
> His throat used as nothing more than a sheath for Jayce ramming in and out of his mouth
At this rate, this man could swallow an eight ball no problem and spit it back up.
> He plummets his dick deep into the confines of his throat, the tip kissing the back of his pharynx
So we know he has a big dong, veiny and thick, and somehow it can bend like that without snapping like a Snickers bar. I don't think I've read a BJ scene that's been so tedious to get through, but this is becoming a very popular fic, so...guess I'm the only one *shrugs*
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> Merely a tool to warm Jayce's cock behind his desk
We know. You wrote that three times already.
> Fucking into his mouth back up to a quick-fire pace
He'll be the opposite of drinking through a straw: he can suck back a cement truck's contents.
> He grinds his pussy to alleviate the mounting pressure
I know for a fact that this monster dong is going to be 'rearranging his insides' and that it goes up and above his navel. I bet 'he can feel it in his throat' among other things.
> This isn't his loving partner in the lab or his fresh-faced Academy pledge
Correct, it's the 'headcanon Jayce': the beastly, ruffled, no-nonsense Alpha Male to Outdo All Alpha Males with monstrous genitalia and masculinity to show who is boss and who the real man is compared to the tinier, meager vagina owner. There's clearly nothing deeper to read into this, no sir.
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> It's hot, shooting down his esophagus in spurts, the force so sudden that it leaves him gagging
> Filling his sinuses full, almost at the risk of flooding his nostrils
I'm sure his 'I can't breathe' really made St. Floyd raise a few eyebrows because he didn't go through eight minutes of a knee press without semen going through his nose. He was clearly born the wrong race.
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> Hubris in snuffing every flame of opposition in his chest. It's the control he likes to wield over others
AKA he's a corrupt motherfucker who cannot be trusted and doesn't like to be talked back to, but we're not going to address that because of his monstrous man meat that he wields as well as his behemoth ball sac.
> Viktor isn't the type to be easily conquered
The past few paragraphs show how you are indeed easily conquered.
> This time is an explosive display of power
> His ass would no doubt be a crimson color
Forget that; he's using the full force of his palm. He's going to split skin. Your protuberant pussy lips are not going to be pretty if they look like a Labubu shoved through a blender.
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Of course it does. Now, let's see all the usual clichés be used full force for it as it gets stuffed and then some with that monstrous Mexican man meat.
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> Every hit that comes down stokes his arousal, his pussy leaking with anticipation
At this rate I'm surprised he didn't split the skin. That was a full-force slap, a true pimp hand.
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> Smooth over the curve of his ass, marvelling at the skin
What ass? He doesn't have any junk in the trunk.
> He's spanked to a round cherry-red, a splash of crimson in honor of House Talis
More like he's the shade of a Behelit and he's about to summon the apocalypse.
> Gods forbid Viktor wear anything for himself
You can stop it with the sass because we know he shuts the fuck up when that man meat gets whacked in front of him.
> Wholly childish, but Jayce is greedy like that, ever spoiled
He also has rage problems and terrible moods, and would probably end up on a true crime podcast with a bunch of hybristophiles.
> His winking hole
*sigh* which one?
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> Black lace and delicate bow
Very masc.
> You're soaked
Yeah? That wasn't obvious from him humping your leg 'like a bitch in heat'?
> His jaw is still sore, his throat feeling torn and abused by his earlier efforts
Hey if you get a staph A infection, just say it was for the Greater Good because you suck dick so well.
> His partner's form casing shadows and dwarfing Viktor's entire body
He's just uwu so smol. Compared to that Godlike Adonis with big muscles and masculine wiles and manly male body, what is he? A cocksleeve, a sex doll, and uwu itsy bitsy thing that gets both holes drilled out like an oil patch in Alaska. Drill baby, drill.
> He's blessed with the stamina of all things because Jayce is still painfully hard
He comes twice and is still rock-hard because we don't believe in actual male stamina here. A guy with a dick that big IRL is going to be passed the fuck out once he's done.
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> I think my dick can fill you up much better than this, hm?
You THINK? Homie you can jettison the Border Patrol budget with that thing.
> Drenching every single one of his fingers. His thighs feel damp, slick
Well, then. He won't have to worry about tears because he squirts like a deep sea squid.
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> He clasps onto Viktor's waist
No, 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle'? Huh.
> It kisses his cunt, and Viktor imagines a ribbon of slick and pre-cum threads them both, the sipping sound a soft suggesting of what's to come
'Sipping sound'? What?
> His tip is huge
Yeah we figured that because of how much attention you gave to that blowjob scene. He should already know it's huge because he took it down his throat already.
> Skating the rim of it before popping his thumb in
Thank God you clarified which hole, otherwise I would've never known!
> He's a slut, through and through, but only for one person
So he isn't a slut, then. He's just sexually experienced. A solo cocksleeve for a manchild who has black temper tantrums, if you will.
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> In one swift motion, he thrusts in hard and fast, balls-deep
> Like he's being launched into a space that exists in a higher plane
More like being launched into space, literally. You're so tiny and frail he could send you to the upper troposphere.
> Maybe if Jayce were in a better mood, he would have given him the grace to adjust before moving
The man was already leaking like a wet squid. You could shove a Michelin tire up there and he'd be fine. This also suggests that our Equipped Mexican Man Meat was ever in a good mood/capable of said good moods to begin with.
> He's reduced to nothing but a cocksleeve for the Councilor to enjoy, a little toy there to sate his every desire
This is one of the most overused lines along with 'his waist was so small his thumbs met in the middle'. It says a lot that the only thing a trans man can do is be a cocksleeve/sex toy/blowjob enthusiast while the cis man enjoys everything else, including the mantle of peak masculinity.
> His winking, puckered hole
Well thank God you clarified which one it is, otherwise I wouldn't have told the difference between that hole and the 'front' hole.
> He hasn't been in such an exposed position for this long before
Keep an eye on this because the author writes it twice.
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> He shoves what remains of it into Viktor's mouth
> Gently, his palm raises to his face, guiding it to the side for a kiss
??? Did you remove the panties from his mouth, or...?
> It's a claiming, an act of ownership in a thorough display meant to carve itself deep into his flesh
It sounds more like the act of a manchild who has to engage in corporal punishment because he didn't get his way and had someone talk back to him. And, it bears repeating, that the 'cis' man is always the one doing this and hardly the other way around. What do you mean by this, anon?
> His pussy convulses endlessly as his cells split apart and spread
That's right: he gets pulverized down to the cellular level by that monstrous Mexican man meat. I'm sure William Birkin didn't think the G-virus would do this.
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> Spurting deep inside, stuffing him to the brim
> Can feel the rope of sticky cum slipping out of his pussy, drenching his thighs
The classic, 'hung like a horse, and cums like one too' trope. I wish this wasn't a thing.
> It's a pent-up load, judging by the way it seems to fill him up and overflow
Definitely more than the 5mL average. You could glaze a whole batch of donuts with that shit.
> He doesn't know how much time passes, but they soak in the silence
Good, because I was just about to ask how he got hard again and pumped yet another full load into this cocksleeve. The US military would like to know where he's getting this fuel.
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> Sometimes Jayce is a little much
You don't say.
> He doesn't know what to do with his devotion
That isn't devotion. It's abuse. You fully admit he has this mantrums and black rages that are absolutely indicative of a borderline nightmare but somehow that is romantic because he is 'masculine' and packing in the meat department. To quote a GTA civilian: 'I don't care if you have an eight inch dick, you ran over my dog!'
> It's because Viktor has never been on the receiving end of such attention before
You wrote that already, and it was already untrue because they've done this more than once.
> Aims straight for the hilt
Cliché.
> Pinch at a nipple, relishing in the cry
Ah, so he does have pain sensation there. If he has had the zippertit surgery, that is.
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> Jayce is inside again, hard and fast
Not bad for a 12 incher getting that blood flow to one area so easily. The NIH would like to find his location.
> While his pussy clamps down on the girth entering him with a purpose
So much for 'it's too big' 'it won't fit'. He's taking it like a champ, as Negan would say.
> So wet for me all over. You like it when I stuff you, baby? You like that your pussy doesn't want to let me go?
This is a case of 'shutting the barn doors when the horse is gone', because bud. You KNOW he's wet. You just saw your combined ejaculate look like the bubbles out of Yellowstone.
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> Working himself back up into a sloppy frenzy
I want to know what kind of drugs he has because that 12 inch Mexican man meat is relentless.
> Aided by a slippery, foamy mess
I guess you can say he's got a rabid cock, eh?
> His cock had definitely, decidedly slipped out and reentered the wrong whole
Uh oh. Thank God he's wetter than the deep sea because he'd be outdoing Sasha Grey in a minute. Forget licking toilets - he can SHOVE a toilet up that booty.
> Hard, animalistic, and deep
Never getting over how they cannot stop writing Jayce like an animal. Mm yes, the darker skinned man is always written/drawn as hung and monstrous and acts like a manchild...whatever could be meant by that?
> Ruts into him like he has never known satiation
Must be part of that manchild mentality. Only benefit he has is that limitless stamina.
> He's carved his shape into Viktor's cunt
He's fucking his ass, Anon. Not his cunt. She later remembers this and proceeds to write him plowing that back hole instead.
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> Nngh
You were doing fine until you summoned Joe Biden dialogue.
> Gonna cum and ruin your tight ass
"I'm gonna stretch this out until I can play it like a tuba"
> Grinds into him while his hole milks him dry
That's the second time a second hole has milked him like a cow. Moo.
> Councilor Talis' cum, his black anger, his insecurities, his jealousy, his pride, his brilliant mind
All that and you focused on him being a manchild. In the more popular, actual gay fic this anon did, Jayce was far more gentler, understanding and in-character; this is just an abusive prick with the classic 'Latino Rage' archetype hanging over him like a cloud.
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> His hips falter to the hilt
Third time this has been used.
> Emptying a precious, thick load in his ass
It doesn't sound all that precious when he produces so much semen the Strategic Petroleum Reserve is jealous.

I ended it here because this was one of the most tedious fics I've ever read, and I did like the author's previous installment. This one just went on forever and bored me to tears. The obsessive focus on this man's gigantic balls and his dick veins can only go so far, but what really did it in was the manchild bullshit. I could have given it a total pass if not for the manchild behaviour. No matter how you spin it, anon, manchildren with black rages are not hot, and neither is insisting they are the more 'masculine' ones due to the size of their genitalia. As the saying goes, 'it gets to a point'.

SenLinYu has given an interview on how she wrote Alchemised. The book has recently gotten more reviews on YouTube, with many wondering if it should be boycotted outright as it was a HP fanfic and JKR is engaging in trans genocide. Someone also needs to tell her that light makes her look orange.
 
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OK, let's try something not-so-tedious this time: good ole-fashioned racism. Has a guy become a shapeshifter who clocks his partner from smelling their own menstrual blood. This is the third time 'acres of creamy flesh' has been seen in a written work outside of Felcher-Martin's 'Manhunt'.
Right off the bat we have an 'extraordinary' family that has 'larger-than-life builds' that are buddy-buddy with everyone and don't raise any eyebrows on who they are and what they do. No, it isn't the Cullens. These big baddies don't sparkle in the sunlight. No, it's even worse: Ximena was married at 17 to a literal soul-sucker, who admitted that he used her as a 'sleeve' to please him and get heirs off of her. Her husband is later murdered by his father and brothers for daring to marry outside the family, as no race mixing is allowed. She flees, and meets a mage who grants her three wishes: the first to rewrite her new husband's memories so that Jayce was always his, the second that his origins were changed so he can always find a home in Piltover, and the third to cloak his origins so he isn't outed as a mixed race supernatural beast. If this is an allegory for race mixing, I gotta tell the author to really consider switching sides.

Jayce learns about his Freljordian heritage and how he's actually a cave troll a beastly man who can't control his urges because why the fuck not.
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> Warns her son about his shifter nature
> Is immediately proud he's an apex predator and how he can do whatever the fuck he wants
A real Homelander.
> His father was a creature lost to bloodlust and violence
So, he's spiritually Israeli is what you're saying. If you don't believe me, the author explains this and actually makes it seem far worse.
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> To mate, to breed and to curse
And he later clocks his partner as female by smelling their menstrual blood. The fact he knows exactly which sex to mate with really does show none of these people believe their own bullshit. This is really your fanfic version of 'Quicksilver' or that minotaur fucking book.
> They make him purr instead, pleased as punch with the proof of his dominion and deadliness
So he's happy with his innate male privilege and how no one can possibly stand in his way. That's not toxic masculinity at all. He gets pleasure at the fact his own mother is terrified of him, and we're supposed to act as if he's the pinnacle of what a man is?
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> How to conceal his scent, how to select the most viable target
Of course he shoves his own mother aside, despite her suffering at the hands of his father, and goes with another mother-figure that 'harnesses' his beastly instincts. Sounds like you hate women, dear author.
> 6'5
He's 6'2. They do this to make him a foot taller than Viktor for their size difference tag.
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> His father's tribe is known for their warmongering, for strength, for smithing and masonry
So Genghis Khan and his tribe with the added benefit of being Freemasons. Add in some usury and they really will be spiritually Israeli.
> Including weapons of mass destruction that have exterminated entire masses of sentient beings
...nevermind. So he's proud of being descended from a bunch of genocidal maniacs who rape their way out of boredom. I wonder why Vastaya were kicked out of cities 109 times 🤔
> His species' lust for blood is only matched by their lust for sex
This is why they're enslaved so often, btw. But it's different for his people because they were the ones doing the enslaving and raping.
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> He learns mammalian physiology
> Immediately learns which ones are the females
Top kek.
> His obscenely tiny waist
Oh, here we go with the Empress Sisi waist. He's so smol he can wrap his hands around it twice, squeeze it, and then throw him in orbit with the thrust from his gigantic Mexican man meat.
> His pale-cream skin
It wouldn't be complete in a monsterfucking story without the palest white bitch to exist.
> His cupid-bow, rose-pink lips
His lips are pale. He doesn't have pink lips. He doesn't have almond-shaped eyes either - and the author later retcons this by making them 'doe-eyed'.
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> Daydreams of violently squishing Salo till he is a mess of bone and viscera
You know what they say: violence is in the genes, and it sounds like you need to be SPAYED and NEUTERED for the betterment of humanity. Wiping out entire families because 'it's in your blood' is a very, shall we say, Israeli thing to do.
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> The day
*On that day
> The hunger translates to sex, and he fucks enough of Piltover's elitist whores
Glad STDs don't exist because this guy would be the Runeterran version of syphilis. Making him a manwhore and a sex beast is also totally not stereotypical, either.
> From a woman who had declared him mentally unstable to the whole of Piltover, her offer of comfort is paltry
Is she wrong? You sure are proving her wrong by acting like a beast and fucking every hole in existence because It's Just Biology.
> pale, slender, doe-eyed
What happened to his eyes being almond-shaped? Did we forget that already? This also leans into the 'taming the beast' archetype where our pale, slender, tiny-waisted white menstruator tames the 6'5 brown beast, which isn't racist at all.
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This is the thing that gets me: these authors will always harp on and on about how trans men are men and that men can have vaginas, yet write about how a beastly man can immediately clock them by smelling their menstrual cycle. The jokes truly do write themselves. 1+1 = 2 indeed.
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> His partner's blood smells like melted sugar
Huh. From some men talking candidly over game chat, they'll say it tastes like battery acid.
> Reign of terror for the citizens of the Undercity
So he ends up feasting on drug addicts and those in dire straits, and Viktor, ever the stand-up for his people, just accepts it because his partner is doing it and he's turned on. Logic.
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> Excitement and arousal outweigh his fear
Yeah, I'm sure he's wet as a mop seeing a 6'5 beast man sucking back a random druggie's blood when he can be sucking back his white pussy juice instead.
> The Vastaya in him howls for his partner
Sounds like he needs to be SPAYED and NEUTERED instead.
> He is weak-willed against his partner
You're just weak, period. That man's hand can wring you out like a dish cloth around that itsy bitsy waist.
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> Frail body
He's just pale and fragile, the perfect counter to the huge, beastly, masculine man.
> Viktor is the one overflowing with emotions, the one who is more emotionally charged
Nothing like calling a person trying to escape their sex by saying they're 'more emotionally charged'. It ain't a mantrum because you aren't even enough of a man to be respected for having one.
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> The way he allows people to hurt him with their inconsideration and prejudice
So...you?
> They are wrong. Viktor does (has the superior EQ)
Which is funny, as women are said to have higher EQs than men. This man doesn't just clock him by his menstrual blood but by his moods 😭
> He is a chameleon by nature
But he's 'in tune' with his beastly, murderous self because he felt pride knowing he came from a group that engaged in ethnic cleansing like he's from the Yamnaya.
> How do you define lowlives?
Good question. Jayce tells him he's only going after rapists and druggies:
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Which, of course, is only a half-truth, as he later admits he goes after innocent people too. Most of those afflicted by Shimmer are down-on-their-luck and haven't assaulted anyone, yet he goes after them. What he hasn't done is go after the Chembarons. That is what should raise eyebrows.
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> He will make him understand
With what? Those gargantuan balls with their own gravity?
> He had argued that criminals, if offered proper resources and rights, would not engage in criminal behaviour
> Jayce believes that men who rape and abuse will do so regardless
Hate to say it, but the guy descended from a bunch of genocidal beasts is right: you cannot change people like that. It's in their nature. Giving them resources only does so much. You would think someone who spent time in that environment would realize it's not just the environment as there are those in Zaun who are legit evil.
> They won't consider rising up against the ones in power
So his solution - one might say a final solution - is just to straight up kill them. 'Kill the homeless to eliminate crime' ahh logic.
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> He has considered butchering the whole population and burning the city down
So much for 'only going after the bad guys'. He just wants to kill them all so he can do it for his fragile white pussy here.
> Hunting in Piltover is akin to committing suicide
He had no problem doing that earlier. He just chose Zaun because, to him, those people going missing are just criminals and no one would miss them. He also somehow still cares for his mother despite basically dismissing her after she called him a lunatic in front of his peers. Consistency.
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I wonder if these poems are self-made or from a song. It better not be Ethel Cain.
> Still pretended to be a normal Piltovan male
You pretended?
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> Has the upper hand at
If he starts howling and pissing the sheets while talking about fingering and owning that 'front hole' I am going to lose it.
> It makes the Vastaya in him perk up in interest
That's right: he knows he's moody because of his menstrual cycle. I'm never getting over how fucking funny that is.
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> Can you smell me?
He answers in the affirmative, thereby clocking him as female and always knowing it, and then saying if shit goes wrong he can just wipe his mind. Sounds like he'd be perfect for the SCP Foundation.
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> Your menstrual cycle heightens my thirst and raises my bloodlust
And then Viktor asks if he can smell anyone else's menstrual blood, and he says no. We only like WHITE menstrual blood around here; nigger blood need not apply.
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> Just because the words came out of his mouth doesn't make them sound any less cringeworthy
Yeah, it also highlights that he's a foreigner and can't speak English well. I thought we didn't like xenophobia around here. The lampshading here doesn't help you, either.
> Folded like a piece of beautiful crafted origami
Oh, so like this:
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> Don't make a martyr of yourself
Says the guy that's killed hundreds of his people in the name of 'satiating his bloodlust' because 'It's Just Biology'.
> You're exposing yourself to more and more danger because you cannot control yourself
Clock that tea.
> You're accused me of lacking in control three hours ago
Yeah, because you openly admitted that smelling his fucking period blood raises bloodlust. The instructions are right on the box.
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> I know you can control yourself around me
It's because he's white. He was draining the other crackheads because they were the wrong race.
> Driving his pheromones into a mouth-watering frenzy
I keep telling you, that white pussy hits different.
> Do you know the number of people I have to drain to satiate myself during your period? 30 every day
He's killing more people than the Ustase and no one in Zaun is talking about it? Yeah OK.
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> Followed by a cackle that sounds maniacal even to his own ears
He's doing the Chris laugh, I see. Stop it.
> But they wouldn't offer you the same courtesy
"Yeah I'm proud of my ethnic cleansing ancestors and killed hundreds of people because I can't eat your endometrium lining...but look at me, I'm totally a gentleman!"
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> I want you to bite me
Wow, this really did become a monsterfucking hetslop fic. BTW, that poem is real: it's from an Iranian poet. I'm sure she's proud realizing it's being used in this method.
> Wrap his skin around the other man to the point of suffocation
Uh...
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> Before tracing his lips along the surgical lines under his pecs
> Sealing his lips around the sensitive nub for a firm suck
Glad he still has nerve endings there. Usually the nerves get fried because the nips have to be placed in the wrong place thanks to female ribs not being as wide.
> Rolling and undulating his tongue against miles of pale-cream
'Acres of creamy flesh', courtesy of this author, in honour of Gretchen-Felker Martin. It would also be feet because this itsy bitsy dood is not miles long or wide.
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> The cinnamon spice of his cologne
That's not his cologne. That's his menstrual blood, because the author described said blood as 'cinnamon'.
> The natural pungent musk of his skin
AKA he doesn't bathe and that testosterone onion smell stinks up a storm. Pepe Le Pew would be disgusted at it.
> Before nipping him on his clit
With those teeth? Ouch. Double Fauci ouchie with that 'paper-thin' skin of his groin. He's just so pale, fragile, and thin-skinned. Perfect against this big ole beastly brown man.
> Every new burst of exquisite flavour
OK when is he getting his Michelin star?
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> Allows the man to grip his fingers and grind his bones into dust
I'm sure he can do that while gripping a stapler.
> Breaking his cunt open on his cock
Funny, anon ITT wrote a very similar scenario. She even has the 'slick foam' too!
> Honey sweet and satisfying
You already wrote that his pussy juice tasted like honey.
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>Squirts with a tortured scream
There's the GTA firetruck spray we know and love!
> Baptising him clean, fresh and new, as his mouth gulps down communion
So does his squirt taste cleaner than his rank musk? I hope so.
> Most satisfying image of devastation, debauchery and calamitous beauty
Stop trying to sound like Anne Rice. You're writing this about someone who has no lips, no ass, no muscle tone, no thighs or breasts, and looks like a Walmart chicken breast. You think ending the world over a Walmart chicken breast is worth it?
> less angel and more whore
You're calling him a whore while he's exclusively devoted to you and only wants to sleep with you? God forbid female people have a sex drive. Why isn't he called a manwhore? Oh wait - HE IS. It smells like FUCKBOY around here.
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I learned a new word today: moue is a pout.
> Into his throbbing clutch
I don't know why the author decided using a term used to describe a purse is being used for a vagina, but it's weird, man. am I going to find an iPhone and a Dior makeup palette in there?
> Suck the juices off
I just think he's chugging back a 7/11 slushie.
> Hole, quivering and gushing around his careless digits
I don't think I've ever read a description of a vagina that manages to sound so lifeless. It's oozing like a squid, but it's just a hole - er, a clutch.
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> The span of his hands not long enough to wrap around the width
He's just uwu so smol.
> The beating warmth of his cunt around his dick is devastating, the easy with which his partner's cunt stretches to accept his girth is obscene
You wrote him squirting so much he gave this beast-man a bath. I think you could smuggle all the weapons sent to Ukraine up there no problem.
> He is pressed into the pulsing warmth to his root
> Shuddering when he bottoms out
He was already bottomed out.
> His strokes are punishing, bullying their way past the spongy opening against his cervix
Yeah, no. Cliched 'obscene squelches' aside (seriously, these people need new lines), you are not bullying open that cervix. It's too small to be forced open. I've seen this way too much and these people need to return to health class.
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> To feed him his blood. Claim him bind him so he is his and only his
And he didn't have to use rape and howl like a dog! Amazin'!
> Face smeared with tears and snot
I just think of that journalist from Scary Movie who had a giant snot bubble while she was running in the woods.
> Slick froths around him
Me when I pour too much Dawn in the sink and it overflows:
> Milking his cock for all its worth
Hey, it's just like that anon fic! Another cinnamon-scented pussy milking a giant dick like a cow!
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> The tip of his cock firmly bullying its way through his partner's cervical opening where he unloads
Again, that doesn't happen. Cervical stimulation is possible; penetration is not. There is suspension of disbelief (such as this man being half-shapeshifter) but you can only stretch things (haha) so much. Cervical penetration is one of them. Unless it's a magic tongue you are NOT getting up there.

After agreeing to the marriage, Viktor drinks his blood in a reverse Twilight move, gets his energy back, and reaffirms that he is his and his alone. He's a monogamous slut, mind you.

I still had a good laugh at this solely from this man clocking the other from their menstrual blood. You can't be more on-the-nose than that. The whole reason I screenshot these is for stuff like this. You wouldn't believe me if I didn't show you.

Do you remember Westworld? That big HBO hit that petered out near the end? Imagine that but with fatties. I don't know anything about Westworld so I am flying off the seat of my pants here.
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> Some of his fellow sculptors, programmers and mechanics are obsessed with crafting the most beautiful, the most perfect specimen
It says a lot that they 'default' specimen they choose is a woman with a vagina, or a vagina owner. It's never a basic orifice - but a vagina. They are very specific on that.
> Those whose internal radar enables them to clock him
Clock him as what? An android, or a woman?
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> For the rowdier guests, he's a walking target
He's not even safe as an android from those dastardly penis owners looking for a quick fix. He should take some lessons from the TX from Terminator 3 and have a built-in flamethrower.

As for the wife thing, I was waiting to see if this author would cuck Mel again, but no. The wife and mother-in-law does not exist. He made it up.
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> What about a bear? It doesn't get any badder than that
Try an elephant, a rhino or a hippo.

They talk for a bit more before he temporarily shuts down Viktor for an update. There is, in fact, art for this fic, and you can see that Viktor is just your basic woman, breasts included:
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Everybody loves a dirty, greasy incel who looks like he belongs in Disco Elysium fucking a mid android. It's definitely not Sean Young in her prime.
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Aww look at that, he's in love!
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> Says he must retain his autonomy
> Admits that he can shut off his favourite machine at the touch of a button, meaning he doesn't really have autonomy
Uh huh. He's only using that naïve, cutesy android to fuck. They never pick the independent ones because they'd immediately turn into SHODAN.
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You can add that to the prior sentence or use an em dash.
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This is supposed to highlight the naivety and purity of this android against the grumbled, down-on-his-luck programmer who is otherwise not conventionally attractive and wishes he could have a girlfriend - or, at least that is how it would be perceived if a man wrote it. As a woman wrote it, the focus is more on the sweetness of our pure android and how they 'just want to please'.

I do find it interesting how the android has a perfectly sculpted labia and that Viktor's disability does not exist. You KNOW a man sculpted that one. As for the disability, the author later notes that the brace is only there to mimic Jayce's disability.
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It's not ableism when WE do it, sweaty 💅
> Do I have this as well?
Yeah. And he gets it unplugged.
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> No concept of shame regarding his body
AKA the Madonna and the Whore: pure, innocent and virginal, yet an expert on sex. A man's true wet dream through and through.
> He hasn't spoken to anyone but the hosts about much of anything
So the beardy bro shut-in whose girlfriend is an android, eh? Haven't read that one before.
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You, too, can erase a character's disability where other fans would rip you a new asshole for provided you make them a robot. They'll never jump you if you write for their favourite pairing, either.
> How many of us are there?
Uh oh. You can't be asking that, or you'll have a Replicant Uprising.
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> A lot of it is also your code, which I programmed
"I programmed you to be my perfect waifu" ahh argument.
> The intensity of the magnetism that draws him to Viktor is both undeniable and utterly inescapable
Lmao where? I don't see it anywhere.
> Made to be thin. Frail. Fragile, even.
There's that 'pale and fragile' line. He's just so uwu smol and so cute.
> Far from either of his mosquito bites
So he programmed a trans robot that he wanted to be his waifu, complete with a vagina, labia and other juicy bits, but also calls him by male pronouns because....uh, transdroid rights!
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> Some guests like to rough up hosts
Which ones? They wouldn't happen to rough up the vagina owning ones, would they?
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> See, that's your loyalty value doing its job!
You cannot tell me he programmed him to not act like a weird Lolita android to take advantage of. This is creepy as hell. Where's all this chemistry that the author insists is there?
> Why have you not repaired yourself?
Because he would no longer be the token disabled man of colour. He needs those specialty points.
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> Beautiful braces that are fantastically imperfect
That he also doesn't need because he was walking just fine without them. He jumped down from the table, remember? That limp is there because Jayce wants a fellow disabled study-buddy-fuck-buddy.
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> He finds his computer lagging
Uh oh, here comes that twist! Our waifu is becoming aware!
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> Gentle as velvet on a plush, naked body
I reiterate: you cannot convince me this is NOT a fat, bearded, smelly office worker's wet dream of wanting an android waifu waiting on him hand and foot, but written by a fat, smelly woman vs a man.
> How you despise when someone harms me
I'm still waiting for this romance and chemistry and magnetism. All I see is a chubby programmer upset other people are abusing his toy. There was more chemistry between SHODAN and the SOLDIER in System Shock.
> Viktor is soft, and Jayce is hungry
The perfect waifu.
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> I don't remember
> Nobody should have to contend with such atrocities
So that robo-pussy got raped. Multiple times. If this is meant to be tragic, it sure doesn't seem like it.
> I can teach you
"I can be your knight in shining armour unlike those mean chuds!"
> Slender fingers towards his own engorged clitoris. Would he prefer that Jayce also called that a cock? He'll have to ask
You could have just given him an actual one. He's an android; they can possess any kind of genitalia you want. Someone programmed and designed that labia and female genitalia on him. That had intent. You wanted 'gay' sex with a vagina because it's, what? Easier?
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> He gets them shimmied down far enough to allow his cock to stand fully at attention
> He sticks his hands into his trousers
Then it isn't 'standing fully at attention' because it's still trapped by fabric.
> His eyes fly open and his fingers rocket out of Viktor's cunt
All I think of are fingers launching back at Mach 5. Damn, is android pussy that volatile?
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> Until Viktor picks him up
Imagine he becomes fully sentient and then starts offing men. That would be too radfemmy for these pooners.
> Like a knight would his dear damsel in distress
It's funny how this keeps happening. Who keeps getting feminized as the damsel, again?
> Wet and loving alike. Sometimes several times a night
A literal incel wet dream come true: a Madonna and Whore android who never gets tired and is always happy to deepthroat that big ole meat.
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If this guy looked like Jack Black - and he does, from the drawing - it wouldn't be hot. He's lucky he has that face card.

The next morning, Jayce is early and Viktor is ecstatic to see him, eager to learn more and 'become his own man'. There's a line about how his wires trail behind him like an 'impossibly long braid of a fantasy princess' and Jayce remarks that he can't wait to start every morning like this with his waifu who is 'becoming a man'. Viktor announces he'd love to collaborate with Jayce on his future research because he is reading the work of his colleagues, but he doesn't really care because he's too busy thinking about that android pussy.

But we get another twist: Viktor really IS becoming self-aware, and whacks Jayce across the head with a chair. He then hooks Jayce up to the gurney and begins experimenting on him, a dramatic twist on the beardy bro losing his android waifu.

In terms of the chemistry and romance, it's non-existent. I didn't grasp it at all. It's just the tag and the ship being hammered in. The only part I liked was the end with Viktor finally becoming independent and realizing this fat fuck ain't shit. Other questions - such as why he was programmed with female genitalia where he could have both if we really wanted to lean into the 'trans robot thing - are unanswered because the author didn't really think about that. Most Jayvik BigBang authors just write as they please and get whatever artists they get. The art itself wasn't awful, but Jayce just looks fuck ugly. I am glad he got his 'I'm a progressive boyfriend' shit pushed in. Funny how the part that's meant to be horrifying ends up being the most interesting.

English isn't this author's first language, but writing basic bitch shit like this is. It also has art in there somewhere, which I will post if I find it.
Jayce is going to uni and he's worrying about whether his roommate will be a nuisance or not and whether anything he does will be a mistake. Previously, he was pacing his room and then magically finds himself in bed again - consistency is not the author's strong suit - before getting up properly this time and showering. He shaves off his hobo beard and Cait texts him not come over to her place in sweatpants because she has a 'surprise' waiting. What is this surprise? He can get piss drunk and high before he heads off to uni. When he arrives, it's not a small gathering but a full on house party, and he finds Vi outside smoking a cigarette. She interrogates him, asking if he's 'the Talis boy' and he is utterly intimidated by her. Cait then points out that he's dressed similarly to her, to which he asks if he's 'dressed like a lesbian', whatever that means (and it's an odd thing to say because he is a man, so he can't be butch). Vi makes a joke about him being offended by lesbians and he goes 'NO NO' in all caps before she makes it clear she's joking. When he enters the house proper, he ends up meeting his Bisexuality Crisis that he literally shoved between the kitchen counter and himself.

After eyeing down his wannabe goth/punk emo boyfriend, Viktor recognizes Jayce after the latter spilled cheap alcohol on him. Viktor has piercings everywhere - on his ears, nose, septum, lips, basically the same version in MGCraig's wedding fic - and is written to be beautiful and god-like when he just looks like scene trash.
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So he dresses like Gerard Way from 2007 and unironically is dressed more 'like a lesbian' than Jayce is.
> Take a picture, it will last longer
Are we stuck in the aughts?
> It's really pretty
Men don't talk like this.

Viktor tells him he had to move to Zaun to complete his high school year, hence their loss of contact (social media apparently doesn't exist here) and announces that he's at PDI (Piltover's Distinguished Innovators) too. Jayce makes a joke that almost seems insensitive - that he 'wasn't cut out for it' - before laughing it off and yapping about how great it is to see him. Viktor, biting his lips, can't stop thinking about Jayce's lips and the crush he had on him. When Jayce goes to clean up the drink he spilled on him, we get a flirting scene where he asks Jayce what's so fascinating under his shirt and he awkwardly says, 'belly button'. It's as cringeworthy as you can imagine. He eyes nipple piercings and wonders if he has piercings 'somewhere else', before Viktor reads his mind and answers in the affirmative, meaning he has labial and clitoral piercings.

They go to a beer pong table to play catch up, joking about the game being Jayce's 'downfall'. Viktor offers him some Czech vodka and Jayce does not take it well. They laugh it off, but there's back-and-forth dialogue (shitty, I might add) on how he can't handle it well. They leave to go find other people, and then this exchange happens:
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Nothing like shitting on the lesbians while uplifting your basic bitch reverse workaround hetslop. EW, LESBIAN SEX! Grow up.
> Was he annoying?
Yes. In real life I'd probably stick a shock collar on him to make sure he never says a word.

In another room, they find people playing spin the bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven. While there, Jayce spies Sky and Lest getting touchy-feely with Viktor and he doesn't like it one bit. Get that nigger and that tranny away from MY tranny, bro! This boy can't help but get skewered by such a piercing, Gerard Way gaze. He's just so flustered! Lest asks him how he knows 'Vitya' - which is the Russian term used for him, while Viktor here is Czech - and he says that they went to middle school together.
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> The alternative style suits him
It really doesn't. It just makes him the stereotypical pooner. I bet he smells like weed, onion and patchouli.
> He doesn't wanna be weird
You ARE weird. And annoying as fuck.
> He knows he is bisexual
Well, provided the author isn't pulling the 'I'm gay' card, we're good. I do think she will try to do it with Viktor, though.

They win the next spin the bottle round and move to a new room for privacy. Viktor has a big bag of weed he stole from Vi and he jokes that she's not going to beat up her 'crippled friend'. It's not ableism we WE do it, sweaty. They light a joint and smoke in the bathroom, and Viktor gets a little panicked that Jayce has been talking to the MTF gigahon tranny. Jayce congratulates him on his supposed relationship with Sky, to which Viktor clarifies - and I suspected as much - that he is 'gay'. Jayce, acting all awkward, thanks him for 'coming out' and Viktor says he had crushes on boys in all of middle school. He's a workaround straight but don't tell these authors that because vagina owners can be men, you dirty TERF.

Viktor calls Jayce a 'himbo' to which Jayce insists he is not. They light the joint properly and smoke it, which is supposed to be very homoerotic. He also says that Cait will 'absolutely kill him' for smoking weed, even when she sent him the text encouraging him to do it at her place, meaning she was aware that the drug would be passed around. The author isn't aware of her own internal logic. Lame! They sit in that tub and smoke more, and again, it's supposed to be homoerotic with all the mutual sharing of air and focus on the lips, but it is lame AF. You can tell it isn't just an ESL problem but a writing problem in general. It's just awful.

They then begin kissing, first with Viktor's wrist and then a kiss proper.
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> Which almost encircle the entirety of it
This. FUCKING. LINE. GET A NEW ONE, YOU UNORIGINAL RETARDS
> See how his hands rest against Viktor's waist
You already wrote his 'thumbs nearly met in the middle'. How many goddamn times do I need to see this fucking line?
> He is ethereal
He looks like a Philly druggie.
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> Nipping then excruciatingly slowly sucking on his tongue
Why am I thinking of a lamprey latching onto a shark, instead of a homoerotic, deep and sensual kissing scen?
> Two men
Lol. Lmao
> He is a lost cause
So why are you tongue fucking him, then?
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> His cunt also throbs with a heart of its own
So is that heart going to be popped like a balloon from that belly bulging 12 incher or is that just hyperbole?
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These jokes aren't funny, and pulling the 'Sorry I speak Chinky English/No Habla Ingles' isn't going to cover your ass.
> Sprout's girlfriend?
Why is this questioned? You KNOW it's her girlfriend. She told you.
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> Really doesn't wish Vi's cock blocking worked
Honestly, this would be way more interesting if she just beat up the 'scene cripple' and turned this fic into a hate crime not seen since 'Boys Don't Cry'.

I also cut some of the scenes because they don't really do anything for the plot and they're just a slog to get through.
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> Loses the balance in their dance of tongues
Oh no, not the 'tongues battled for dominance/danced' cliché! Lame!
> He will never get used to how big Jayce's hands are
Ah yes, the yeti punchers. His hands are so big meanwhile yours are uwu so smol. Tiny hands, tiny waist, just a tiny wee fairy about to get split in half like the West Bank.
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> The kiss feels like a battle of control
I don't think I've read a kissing scene that has bored me so much. At this rate, you might as well write in your mother tongue because this No Habla Ingles/Ching Chong No English is getting on my nerves. Don't make me call ICE.
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> Smiles at him in a way that could only be described in novles
Breaking the 4th wall, I see: 'My fic is totally not like those lame romance novels!' Newsflash: it IS hetslop, you just don't want to call it that.
> Grab him and oh!
Every time I see oh! I'm going to come oh! Knocking with the mackerel truck oh!
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> His cock is thick and girthy
> His fingers do not meet
Is that because your hands or too small, or his dick is larger than a Coke bottle? Must be tiny hand syndrome; you should try running for President.
> Proves difficult due to the man's girth
> He lands home directly to the hilt
Not just that, that girthy man meat also bends like a bendy straw because he can see it in his throat. Also, cliché.
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I'm so glad an erect penis that's the size of a Coke bottle can bend like that without snapping like a piece of Bratwurst. Writing is shit but at least the deepthroating is good, right?
> Can't help but throb at being manhandled?
"Strong independent genderspecial gets wet when a sexy 'cis' man shows them what a real man is" ahh reaction
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> Brushed against his cock
> Slick bush
Tarzan pubes AND clit piercings? Man wanted to mow down the Congo but stopped at the border, I see.
> You wondered if there were other piercings you can't see
And you answered in the affirmative. He should know already.
> This was destiny to him
If this is destiny, I'm summoning the Flood or the Combine to get rid of this cringe.
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> You are being ass
The absolute state of this fic. Also, I thought describing eyes as 'orbs' was something we left behind back in 2010.
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> It's been a while since his body has been in sync with someone's chemistry like this
Almost as if you aren't actually gay and you have complementary genitalia.
> Chubby dick's foreskin
That's not a dick and that isn't foreskin.
> Which you could call mock fucking his cunt
I mean, it IS mock fucking. And boy does it drag on longer than that tongue.
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> Which only earns *an intense suck at his dick
That is not a dick. You are really comparing an eraser to a bowling pin. Getting humiliated in the genitalia department every time is an L that will never stop being funny.
> A tongue is being pushed deeper inside him
His tongue was already inside him.
> Like a man starved
Cliché.
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> His whole sex is throbbing and twitching in a rhythm now
That tune? 'Men at Work - Down Under'.
> Noises heard from his cunt are downright pornographic
We talking Fake Taxi pornographic or Ron Jeremy pornographic? Because even the Hedgehog would be wondering what these lines are.
> You eat like a man starved
You wrote that already.
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> I'm on birth control and testosterone
I wonder if it's BC with estrogen in it, because as we all know, they cannot stand the use or mention of estrogen whatsoever. It's more triggering to them than writing two Confederate-era fics.
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> He will never get used to being manhandled in a manner that doesn't dehumanize him
You're still getting feminized, though, because of how uwu so smol you are. In any case, this manhandling is 'different' because it's a man you're physically attracted to. How did that line go? 'Beautiful men with big dicks get whatever they want'. This is that put into practice.
> Unholy amount of orgasm
Never despair for T-influenced vaginal dryness when you can orgasm so much you can raise the water level a few feet.
> Slides him right to the hilt
Cliché.
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> Lower belly
It's still lower than that because it's tucked in above the bladder. Here I expected a belly bulge but no, I got some weird-ass hernia.
> Wet, squelching sounds
Looks like the Chinese noodles are back on the menu.
> Like he was made to be here all along
Almost as if you have complementary genitalia and that's what the vagina was made to do: take a pounding.
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> Trembling through his orgasm
> He can't stop fucking him through his orgasm
> orgasms stuck in place unable to pull out

BOY that's quite an orgasm, eh BOY?
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> He would not survive another orgasm
> Has his third orgasm
Suffered through it like Blitzkrieg, what a trooper.

Afterwards, Vi confronts him about them fucking in her room, and Viktor gives him his number to stay in touch. You think they're bound to stay apart but no...they're roommates at uni! What a twist! Now, give the author a nice comment so she can write more Ching-Chong/Andale Andale ESL with shitty formatting and Gerard Way pooners in an 'edited to perfection' sequel.

The UnhingedAO3tags account is popular for posting out-there, whacky tags people use for their fics. In a stunning twist, they were absolutely ratioed for...complaining about the tagging system for ship dynamics, which was one of the things their own website stood out for.
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"It is not their job to tag correctly" - Except it literally is? That's what your website AS AN ARCHIVE is used for?
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NemoEntropy, of 'the girl there is DARK, JUST AS YOU LIKE 'EM' fame also said they were being retarded:
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First it was their Palestine comments, and now this. I really wanna know who the actual user behind the account is.

I'm sure you remember the "wow, you criticize stuff so much yet never post anything of your own" argument that is used by anyone who gets a spicy comment. That has been reused and reborn:
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"It's fandom etiquette" - that is rich coming from someone who is besties with a shotacon (prettybadmagic) and was in a kink server that had a DEFCON meltdown over whitewashed art. Their dom triggers weren't just activated but shock collared.

"Their own stuff is dog shit" - and nine times out of ten, yours is too. Margo hasn't posted since December last year.
 
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These in particular have always made me question what the actual fuck is wrong with people who use AO3 or Fanfiction.net. I get the rhetoric of "If you don't like it, dont read it! It's fanwork!" but when do we draw the line at fanworks and borderline illegal content?

- Harry and Luna as Pedophiles.
- Harry literally being raped and skullfucked.

I get having an outlet for things. But this seems way, wayyy too prevalent in these communities to just be an outlet.
 
I get having an outlet for things. But this seems way, wayyy too prevalent in these communities to just be an outlet.
And outlet...for WHAT?

I get if something bad happened to you and you're fucked up and your brain is firing incorrectly. But leaning into it is unhealthy and should be discouraged. These writers and readers just have a morbid fascination that reflects poorly on them--and that's the most mild and generous interpretation.
 
Prettybadmagic has come out with the second chapter of her Puppy Play fic. She is really going all-in with 'Latino men are dogs' and wants to shove them in cages like she's an ICE agent. Prepare for this chapter's Colleen Hoover witticisms, which are:
- one hundo p
- tried not to goon hard over a stranger
- Chivalry is a good go-to method of winning your date’s heart. And a good thing for a dog to do. It really showcases obedience and loyalty.
- serious rizzmaxx
- Like he's gonna somehow fail the test of when and where are you going to nut, which is not unlikely. His dick can be unpredictable at times, hence the transition into kink from his prior world of vanilla, where he was expected to be aggressive and hump his hard-ons away with very little flourish. The frat formula. Heteronormativity.
- As a puppy, his humping doesn’t have to end in fucking raw
- ramps up the I-need-to-eat-you-out-immediately quotient, as if intelligence is stored in the birth canal.
- He loves the bouquet of cunt. It tastes more like meat than dick, even though dick is allegedly meatier.
- He’s over the initial excitement of must devour cock and can now properly worship the rest of the action, from perineum to pubis.
- He doesn’t want tortoise-paced torture and he doesn’t a lightspeed milking.


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> one hundo p
I legit wonder where the fuck she's getting this dialogue from. Tiktok? Gen Z? Because not even the most ghetto of ghetto trash talks like this.
> He learned how therapeutic it is to become a dog every now and then
> He turned his walk-in closet into a den, with a human sized dog bed and everything
Well, then. He can sit outside in a shed, with a chain and everything. He can also get a shock collar that will be used every time he gets off the bed. If he wants to commit to the bit, those are the rules he has to follow.
> He's well-liked by every gender
And how many genders are there?
> Slender gay guy
He's not gay, because his sex is not male. He has a vagina, and Jayce knows that for some reason despite Viktor never announcing that he's trans.
> He was tall but tiny
> Jayce could fit the entire circumference of him in his bare hands
Great. It's THIS fucking line. He's just uwu so smol and he's just a big ole dog. Fuck it, I'll save Kaya and give this fucker the shock collar instead.
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> tried not to goon too hard over a stranger
Because that's weird as fuck and you can be charged.
> Six foot five muscular dog
This author has a major problem getting the heights of characters wrong, and this was seen in her 'colt 2 stallion' fic. Jayce is 6'2. This is done to make Viktor look even smaller compared to him.
> Mentally jumped off a bridge ten times
This is also literal; he later admits that he has thought about using suicide as emotional blackmail. Great characterization.
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> A gold chain that he wishes was locked around his neck permanently
A Latino Kunta Kinte? Damn, would the film be called 'WHIPPED' instead of 'ROOTS'?
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> An intoxicating amount of human
Which apparently means smelling like Shrek because pooners stink to high heaven.
> Never beating the dog allegations
I can't tell if the author is being self-aware here or if she's trying to mock the haters. She is legitimately committed to making the token Latino a dog while making a fic trying to mock 4chan. She's trying to be progressive but ends up sounding like she watches Murdoch Murdoch.
> Viktor is captured within his wingspan
I bet he can dunk him like a basketball, too.
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> Viktor isn't an object
And Jayce isn't a dog, but we have new stories to write after 'unblooded girlchild' and we gotta raise up our inner Klansman, so let's go all out, shaka brah.
> I took twice my usual dose of anti-anxiety meds
A pooner on anti-anxiety meds? You don't fucking say!
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> They run over me like a semi truck
If you weren't sexually attractive, you would undoubtedly come off as a clingy creep. Men who are overly nice like this are a walking red flag. He really sounds like he's overcompensating for his obsessive behaviour. This is a borderline who should be locked up with the grippy socks, not with a P. Diddy collar.
> Jayce has been envisioning a collar and a wedding ceremony
Best I can do is hand you over to PETA.
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> I fuck with sushi heavy
...who talks like this outside of California? Maybe I'm out of the loop, but they legit talk like college kids from Life is Strange.
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> His internal organs mush within the confines of his ribcage
Careful. That might become literal if he decides to take you to a Korean BDSM shop.
> He imagines his mouth on Viktor's cock, his tongue in his cunt
Now, did he clock him from that itty bitty waist or did he declare he was a 'trans dom'? That was never answered in Chapter 1. Hell this wasn't even tagged that he was trans until recently.

Jayce figuring out he wants to be a dog because Catholic nuns beat him and his dad used a belt on him doesn't surprise me. She took Catholic guilt and turned it into a fetish.
> He likes cages and bandages and gags
So he's an ICE agent, but kinkier.
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> It's hard to be feeling so horned up in both his cock and heart
Colleen Hoover-ass line. How does one's heart get horny?
> His stunning beauty
No hips, no ass, no thighs, no lips, no muscle. A literal fucking bone for his dog to gnaw on.
> A good thing for a dog to do
Dogs can't be chivalrous. They're dogs.
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> Makes him blush like a fifth grader
There's the barely-there pedophilia. Why are we talking to fifth graders about BDSM sex? Your Epstein 'unblooded girlchild' is coming through.
> Serious rizzmaxx
Fuck right off.
> He can come from butt stuff
The silver lining here is that this 6'5 breeding stud is totally fine with prostate play. Here I was thinking our dear seme could never be reduced to that.
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> He's been a virgin for six months learning all this kinky stuff
Literally, or figuratively?
> I have a lot of Catholic baggage
You have a lot of Latino baggage as well, because no one else wants to be locked in a cage aside from an illegal immigrant.
> It feels weird to be doing this in a restaurant and not far away from a family of five, grandma included
They're exhibitionists, full stop. PBM has a fetish for subjecting others to her weird shit, and it continues to show in her work.
> The frat formula. Heteronormativity
The gall to say this is 'heternormative' when you are fucking a woman pretending to be a man isn't lost on me. You SAY you like butt stuff, but you won't actually be fucked in the ass by a man because that's too homophobic, but you will tolerate a woman doing it. THAT is heteronormative right there, you microwavable cunt.
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> He wants to be a good guy deep down
You come off as a creep. It's only your 10 inch Mexican man meat that protects you from deportation from the BDSM scene.
> As a puppy, his humping doesn't have to end in fucking raw
OK you are getting the shock collar. I am putting it on the highest settings.
> He regresses into the puppy part of his brain
Then lock him in a cage and put him outside. He doesn't belong in human society.
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> They're so close to getting in each other's pants and junk and there won't be a ton of of guesswork
An astute observation, there.

I do think it's funny how Viktor is a zoologist and knows what sex is in animals, but not humans. He's a 'gay man' because he says he is. Woof. Bark. Growl. Rawr.
> An uphill battle of ADHD and dyslexia
You can overcome them. It's just you are literally too autistic to function. He's a 6'5 Chris-chan who went to the BDSM club instead of sticking with Sonichu.
> Ramps up the I-need-to-eat-you-out-immediately quotient, as if intelligence is stored in the birth canal
If that was the case, you wouldn't be the Anchor Baby version of Chris-chan, you'd be a genius. The fuck is this line.
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> Appears to only exist to be a bigger screen for a Switch
Of course he has the money for that and not a PC so he can mod his little shibari dolls.
> A few knit throw blankets draped elegantly over the arms
Very masc. Unless you're a 90-year-old Scotsman, I don't want to see it.
> Too much blood has diverted to his dick
If I poke it, will it start spraying like the vomit in The Exorcist?
> They very atmosphere is tinged with crush
More like Candy Crush, amirite?
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> He is a respectable man
If it wasn't for his big dick privilege he'd be in an institution. He's weird, man. Like Charles Manson weird but wants to be a furry.
> I can't sustain much actual torque or impact
Nah, fam, ram him like he's a border fence and plow that pussy like you want to be a DACA daddy.
> He picks him up by the waist and tosses him back on the bed
So much for not being able to handle torque. He just got thrown like a football.
> It's too nice to turn into scraggly scrap yarn
He can afford a Switch but not actual yarn? Cheap ass.
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> He can't help holding the entirely of his waist and admiring its trimness
This fucking line again.
> The way his pale skin clashes with his tan
He's so white the Klan would've put him on a poster. They wouldn't like him mixing with a Latino Catholic, though.
> Viktor likes the dog experience
He'll like the PETA one more.
> His cock pokes out from a wild triangle of dark pubes
There's the Tarzan pubes we know and love!
> The best punishment there is for staggering beauty
You're fucking someone with the thinness of a KFC chicken wing.
> It's a perfect mouthful, the right size for him to swirl his tongue around
Remember in Chapter 1 how Viktor couldn't stop comparing his itsy bitsy roid clit to that massive 10 inch baton our Latino Dog had? I 'member. Now it's a 'mouthful' even when it's only two inches - and the author directly confirmed that.
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> He is a good man doing good things
You're an ADHD weirdo who would be either painting Warhammer figurines or fighting homeless crack addicts. Pick your poison.
> With his hungry cunt and pounding cock
What's his cock pounding? The Staples button? 'Wow, that was easy!'
> It's a really pretty cock
It's 2 inches and he's sucking that shit back like a melted slushie.
> He loves the bouquet of cunt
OK, THAT needs to be on a lesbian T shirt.
> It tastes more like meat than dick, even though dick is allegedly meatier
It tastes like 'meat' because it's human flesh, and the clit and dick are homologous organs. Female anatomy is more inwards than outwards. You'd think Miss Unblooded Girlchild would know that.
> He's over the initial excitement of must devour cock
OK, put that on a shirt for the gays.
> From the rippling skin at the entrance of his hole
Which one?
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> Will he nut again?
> There's always the potential for another orgasm
You answered your own question.
> Mashing his nose into the pretty heat of his cock
Ironically, it's around the same size of his nose.
> If it was up to him he'd never move his lips from his divine hole
Well, since you're a dog, eventually you'd want food so you'd start eating that hole. You DID say it tasted like meat, so...
> He can't imagine anywhere he'd rather be than facedown in his pussy, lapping up his abundant juices
How about a proper job?
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> Hasn't seem him pissed off like this
And I can't take it seriously because this is, what? A 5'5 lil dood bossing around a 6'5 man who wants to be a dog. Get the Hasan collar and we'll start talking.
> Eating master gave him a raging erection
This honestly sounds like the lyrics to a Rammstein song.
> Like a sin that God hates as much as being gay
You aren't gay. You literally went down on a female. God has more qualms about you pretending to be a beast. Maybe this should be filed under 'white girls fuck Latin dogs' than reacharound heterosexuality.
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> You are being hurt to make things right
OK so deport him.
> There's no way he doesn't notice the excruciating bloat of Jayce's cock
I just think of a bloated corpse rather than a hard-on. Or a Boomer from L4D: shoot it and watch it burst.
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> He can't hold himself together
You don't say.
> He may as well piss on it. Puke on it, or worse
OK time for you to be chained to a tree. Even dogs can be potty-trained. You're even worse than a crack head.
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> They are soft and sweet touches, the type for a beloved dog
White girls really do fuck dogs, if PBM keeps at it. She took the 4chan thing way too seriously.
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> Not with his hand closing down on his meat
If he squeezes it any harder, will shit come bursting out like a popped zit? Inquiring minds want to know.
> It's a habit - fighting whatever his dick wants
Sounds like on top of having a personality disorder he has a sex addiction problem. AKA he'd be a rapist if things didn't go well for him.
> Negotiation is Him
These are the best negotiations in the history of negotiations, believe me folks
> He doesn't want tortoise-paced torture and he doesn't (want) a lightspeed milking
Another real line.
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> He wants to live the rest of his life with him and that's a big fucking problem
Indeed it is. And we discover he was in a relationship with Mel, dumping him after only 10 months:
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> Too stifling
> Wants to be a dog
> Demanded too much from a 'vanilla' woman who wasn't willing to indulge in his kink
And you want to complain about heteronormativity. This is the second time a black woman has been used as a punching bag; the first was Sky being Viktor's mammy, cleaning up after him and him basically calling her a nigger.
> Thank God I'm not crazy
You drove away a girlfriend because you were literally too crazy for her. You had to find a pooner on anti anxiety meds with a dog fetish in order to feel 'sane'.
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This one went a little quicker than the prior chapter, but if the POVs alternate, that means we have SSRI Dog Fucker up next. Hold in your woofs, shaka brah.

Slavery and Omegaverse go hand in hand like s'mores and a fire. This is yet another Big Bang entry, with art (that has yet to be embedded) and the author is very, very proud of her spin on Roots. This will have 9 chapters and, I assume, art for each one that will be posted as soon as I can grab it. It's also another story that seems to heavily be inspired by the Israel-Palestine conflict, but with omegaverse on top of airstrikes and hissing Hebrews on TV. Somebody call the ADL.
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Right off the bat we start off with a bridal kidnapping, where omegas are plucked right from the depths like they're prizes to be won in war. That isn't hyperbole, btw; there was a war won and the Zaunites lost, so now omegas from the city are to be sold like human cattle. No, we aren't addressing how terrible this way of life is - That's Just Biology, Bro.
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> The electric rod fizzles, the entire air stinking of steel and his panicked pheromones
I keep saying they should use omega pheromones as a form of riot control spray so they can get all the alpha males to fight each other. Just one big Andrew Tate mosh pit. Imagine it.
> Blood tests. Physical examinations while he was asleep
Oh no, how could they tell you were female when you have a vagina! You identify as male, there's no possible way they could have deduced your true sex!
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Sounds like you should identify out of your designation and enjoy some male privilege - oh wait, you can't do that. You cannot identify out of your omegan identity because that's innate and something you can't change.
> They're Betas
> They were definitely betas
This was beta-read. I'm glad Betas smell like Koala bears though.
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> Like a newborn faun
*eyes narrow in suspicion*
> Am I to be eaten
Yup, hung from a tree and gutted like the newborn faun you are. Hope you like being turned into a purse.
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> Fear is a part of their daily lives
And yet, they never rebel or launch any kind of civil rights movement because all alpha males have to do is collectively organize, mass rape them, and force them back into the home. Who does that remind you of? They don't even have any artists or writers on their side. They just shut up and accept it because It's Just Biology - or, as the author puts it, 'you're an omega, and that is reason enough'.
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> They affix a collar to his neck
Ah yes, this. That's so they can show off that they are property and so alphas cannot rape them on a whim. It's a fancier, slimmer hijab.
> Maybe this is how omegas are treated as a status quo
You think? Did you not just say you've lived in fear your entire life?
> Mildly offended he is not seen as more of a threat
To quote the author, 'you are an omega, and that is reason enough'. If people were afraid of omegas, they would not be slaves.
> Male and female omegas
Makes you wonder why females even exist if males can have fully functional female reproductive organs.
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Even during war and state-sanctioned sex slaves, they still have time for fancy nail art. Priorities.
> Some have a glazed look in their eyes as they're being fussed over
> Others have handcuffs or are chained to tables
> Others are chained with rings around their necks
> More have muzzles
Might as well call it the 'Trans-Omega-Atlantic Slave Trade' where instead of getting them to pick cotton, they're there to suck dick. A worse version of the Babylonian marriage market.
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> His skin is still ghostly pale
We need that white skin to compare and contrast to our beautiful, muscular alpha male with bronzed skin. Anything to forget the fact he's fucking a chicken wing. Being skinnier than Nicole Ritchie does help with androgyny, but people still clocked you anyways because you have a magic vagina. such a mystery how they can tell.
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They have polyester but no rights for omegas. Who works in the petroleum fields in this universe? Alphas or betas? I doubt omegas are because they probably aren't even allowed into university aside from learning how to fuck and give birth.
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> You are anything but
He's a flayed chicken wing but go on insisting he's got the looks of Adriana Lima.
> As if he weren't a commodity to be sold off
Yeah, sucks that you can't identify or transition out of THAT gender, huh?
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> The daily airstrikes on his underground lab for the past seven years
Do not fucking tell me this is an Israel-Palestine reference. If it is, it's a shitty one: they don't have supersonic jets or aircraft that can deliver precision strikes. They only have zeppelins and Zaun is situated pretty deep in the rock where most of the payload wouldn't hit or would blow up the entire city due to its toxic gases. You wouldn't get any pretty omegas if all of them were incinerated.
> That means there is no need for these places
And then the author immediately retcons that because there's still a slave market and prostitution of omegas has not been abolished. If you want civil rights, start there.
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> But for Piltover and Zaun to come to a ceasefire in years?!
> A ceasefire? Was it a trick? Misinformation perhaps?
This is beta-read and the author and her beta didn't realize that when a character makes a declaration or a statement of fact, it doesn't help to have them question it a second later. Internal logic is very important in writing.
> You're our final pieces of merchandise before the markets close indefinitely
This introduces a conundrum that is ironically pointed out: had he just got up later in the day, or done something to prolong his capture, he would not have been sold. However, even if the markets were abolished, omegas do not have rights. One must also wonder why the auction is even happening if said practice was already abolished...unless it actually wasn't.
> Fetch me those flowers
Fucking hell, she went with the Aryan Woman in a Wheat Field tradwife look.
cd2.jpg
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> We cater to Piltover's esteemed families
So they are keeping the marriage market alive despite it allegedly being abolished, meaning he would have been sold because that is his place as an omega.
> He will be kept as a pet, a consort, a concubine, and be made to bear kits, kept as a brood cat himself
Huh. Usually they're compared to dogs, but cats are fine too, considering we are comparing humans to house pets.
> There wasn't any reason for anyone to suspect him of his secondary gender
This was already addressed when he was in the makeup chair. His thin, skeletal body is responsible for said androgyny.
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> We have well-bred alphas too
But they aren't sold as meat, they volunteer to be there. They're not being bought from other alphas because it isn't considered 'manly' to be mounted by another alpha, remember.
> There was a time before the bridge disaster when they didn't sell off kidnapped people
Right, they just kidnapped them because they're omegas and they are not considered full people. Know what I never see in these ABO fics? Slave/omega revolts. There were plenty of slave revolts in history because even a slave will have enough of their mistreatment. Not so here. Omegas just sit there and take it because It's Just Biology, Bro.
> They lace him up in a white silk dress
Hey, you might be given a fancy gold chain that reeks of barbarism but at least you get a nice, feminized white silk dress that denotes your true sex! We're abolishing gender roles out here with a nice Israel-Palestine flavour. No, omegas are not an allegory for goyim SHUT THE FUCK UP
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> At least the makeup is subtle and not-heavy handed
It sure did sound like it because Babette needed a lot for his undereye circles. I bet he looks like James Charles.
> He can practically feel the pheromones leaking from the other side of the door
So alphas are basically Indians but instead of smelling like shit, they just smell like unwashed Indians. A degree away from shit, but with oil, pine tree oil, and absinthe.
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> Uppity omega bitch
Now swap 'omega' for 'nigger' and see how it sounds.
> Wore owners. Worse lots in life
This is basically that Columbus PragerU video but with omegaverse: yeah it's bad, but it's better than being dead, right? Forget the fact that the slave trade was allegedly just abolished; you're going to be sold as a slave just cuz and markets are trying to sell off unused stock. If slavery is abolished, he cannot be sold as one, yet he is. He's a fancy indentured servant.
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> He's fully capable of whatever your heart desires
He'd break like a stale breadstick. Hell a stale breadstick would be better.
> He can't risk being sold to some rich, sick Piltie, forced to be some disposable toy for them
...you are in a market WHERE THEY ARE DOING JUST THAT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT
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> Alpha pheromones flood the room, oppressive and heavy like gravity
I told you: Indian stand-ins.
> It's the stupid, lowly, primal desire to dick measure
He's going all rah rah 'alpha males are stupid', but watch him go bug-eyed when that 12-14'' police baton that will 'rearrange his insides' and will 'go up into his throat' comes out. He'll be on his knees bending that dick like a silly straw and swallowing down gallons of semen like whey protein. The 'size difference' tag is here, so he's going to be uwu so smol while Jayce is massive like a silverback.
> He doesn't need to walk since he'll be on his back most nights
Offensive when random alpha says it, dirty and sexy when Jayce will.
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> Every lungful is fill of disgusting alpha pheromones
You'll get a lungful of something else very soon.
> Had his lot in life really amounted to nothing more than this? Was he always fated to return to this cage?
Yes and yes. He'll bemoan his background in this screenshot, before going Boudica in the next:
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> He's not going to take this lying down. He will find a way out
Suuuuure you will. Spoiler: he totally falls in love with his 6'8-6'11 giant alpha male captor and giant cock and is happy to settle down and have lots of kits. He's prideful and ready to tear down the system until a real man comes along.

BTW, the betting scene reminds me of that one in White Chicks where they do the exact same thing, except instead of Terry Crews, we get our Mexican Man Meat.
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> Some fun facts about our omega: our examiners have noted that his pheromones smell like flowers and jasmine
So he smells like jasmine, and alphas smell like oil and pine, aka 'manly' scents'. Funny, that.
> He imagines himself to look quite like the high-priced courtesan now
What happened to the 'I won't take this lying down!' mantra. Did you already forget it as soon as you saw your childhood love? Funny, that.
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> I'll add him to my collection
Nothing like a black woman buying white slaves. We gotta even the scales somehow, and white queers get uncomfortable when '12 Years a Slave' plays.
> He voted the end the markets and yet here he (is)
Yeah, that IS hypocritical, isn't it? He isn't there to smash it apart like Jesus did the merchant stalls in his temple, here's there to enjoy the fruits of his labour. I bet the twist is that he knew Viktor was there and made him his slave to 'save him', and that this gruff, bearded alpha has to have his heart melted in love in order to change.
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Indeed. Men like him ARE dogs - so why isn't he in a collar? Oh, right: prettybadmagic isn't writing it.
> There's no way they would meet in a place like this
As it turns out, Viktor did indeed go to the Academy and crack Hextech with him, but left due to undisclosed reasons. One would think he'd know all about its politics and the status of omegas, yet he acts shocked the entire time. You were living in an open brothel and you never once thought it'd affect you? Really? Talk about a Pick Me.
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> His life was worth ninety million valors
> That money could have helped the Undercity
Should've slept in that day, or joined a resistance movement.
> His face had grown a full beard and all of his boyish features had transformed into a gruff appeareance
You already wrote that. He fits the bill of the 'gruff alpha male' who of course is going to have a dick hanging down to his knees and will talk about impregnating our lil waifu here with his kits. I bet his knot is the size of a grapefruit and his seminal volume enough to sell at a farmer's market. It's the 'taming the beast' yaoi meme all over again.
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Yep, there's that size difference: the brown man is huge and can solo the 100 men vs 1 gorilla challenge and his itsy bitsy waifu with flowers in his hair with an itsy bitsy waist is there to tame him. All the tropes are there, but people eat this shit up. I really want to see the art for this because the author (anonymous for this one) was so excited about it. Hope it doesn't have the 'IT'S OVER' face like most of them do.

From the same author that gave you that alpha male shapeshifter fic comes another instalment: this time with vampires! Vampires don't have pulses, see, so their hearts don't pump blood...but they can get aroused and get erections just fine. Some lines for this fic include:
- They are eager to breed him and have him hanging off their knobs. They want him crying over his broken hymen like a debauched nun, cunt broken and leaking cum
- should have crushed your ankles when you were still human
- balls slapping pink tattoos into his perineum with his unforgiving rhythm
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> Often grumbled to his friends about pessimists
Know what he grumbled about more? Being seen. Because even as a trans vampire, no one wants to pay attention to a shorter Elliot Page.
> Marked as an inevitable loss, born with a rotting pair of lungs and malformed leg
I guess identifying as a man did jack shit, huh?
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What's that? An FTM who has self-harming habits, suicidal ideations, has violence committed against him for his identity, and was sacrificed for a 'cis' woman? Who got their autonomy violated while the penis-owner retains theirs and is never questioned on theirs? You don't fucking say!
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> He had done it with relish
Viktor later wonders how Jayce could become so cruel (something he does back and forth because he can't decide on it), when it's pretty obvious he became cruel as soon as he was turned. The math is easy here.
> Pouty lips
He doesn't have pouty lips. They're thin as shit.
> Tiny waist, and the plumpness of his arse
He doesn't have an ass, not really. And let me guess: his waist is so small Jayce's thumbs can meet in the middle.
> Nothing more attractive to the rich and powerful than a baby-faced foreigner
*White foreigner. Vampire novels do better in European settings because white people love that shit. Not to mention Viktor isn't baby-faced. Baby-faced and having a sharp jaw are contradictory statements.
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> Vampiric equivalent of cocaine
Get it, because he's WHITE POWDER. We love that white powder where brown men are paid by the government to sell it to people to ruin lives - wait, what?
> He plays the part of the Eastern European minx well
You forgot, 'Eastern European minx that's so dirt poor all they're good for is being prostitutes'. He's basically Anfisa from 90 Day Fiancé, except she would never degrade herself this low for a man.
> Open their legs on demand
So do troon vampires keep their ability to be sexually aroused? If blood doesn't flow through their veins, how do they get wet?
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> Frustrations with their wives
Nothing like picking an Eastern European vampire whore that will fuck you, suck your blood, gush like a faucet despite having no blood flow, and then talk about your kids as you give your wife a vampire STD. Fun!
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> Quickening core
> Slick and hot, aching to be filled with substantial weight
Now hold on. You said he doesn't have a pulse. So either it can't be heard by the human ear, or he legit doesn't have one, meaning he wouldn't be able to get aroused because that requires a redirection of blood flow.
> They want him crying over his broken hymen like a debauched nun, cunt broken and leaking cum
Uh, why would they assume a fancy prostitute at a bar is a virgin? You go to an escort service if you want a virgin. And I don't know how many times this needs to be said - hymens don't act like that. He probably already broke his with a sex toy. They're stretchy membranes, not eggshells.
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> James Bond wannabes
Where's Choob with his podcast, laughing in his faux Phoebe-Waller Bridges accent?
> Felt seen, adored, and valued
Always about being seen with these people. Why weren't you seen already if you're a True and Honest Man? You should take up space, not demand that space be given to you. That's the difference between you and your trans sisters.
> His best friend is the most precious half of his soul, his favourite person
> Later says he struggles to forgive him because of how easily he compromised his moral code
> Says AGAIN that he's unable to forgive him, even though it was just fucking written he couldn't forgive him. Pick a struggle!
> The man turned on the very people he once swore to protect
And then he wonders how his 'golden retriever' went mad.
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> How did he go from being the heart and soul of their partnership to a man who violated him?
He says that and then he recants it a moment later, because he's the 'bleeding heart' between them and it is assumed that he can 'tame the beast'. Yaoi meme strikes again.
> Suicidal ideation
> Has to keep the man from killing himself or being reckless with his actions
So he's expect to do emotional labour in accordance with his true sex so his 'true love' won't off himself. That's emotional blackmail. If he's called an 'unhinged menace', he shouldn't be wondering how he became cruel.
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> The boy wasn't cruel
Maybe not as a kid, but there's a dog buried in the backyard somewhere.
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> We were colonized by the fucking English
Do NOT tell me she's trying to make Silco fucking Remmick from Sinners. Silco doesn't have an Irish accent at all.
> The most you should do is argue and fuck the aggression out in bed
That's not going to work with borderlines. Why should you be required to be a virgin, nursemaid, and housewife?
> Refuses to forgive the man
This is the third fucking time you've said that.
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This implies vampires can see their reflections. guess the 'they can provided it's not silver' thing works out after all.
> Get over yourself
He should be saying that to the 'beast' that is Jayce, but it's the uwu smol vampire who has to do that for him.
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> Be an FTM vampire
> All you have are prey instincts because you are fundamentally smaller and weaker than the male penis-owner, who has predator instincts
> What does this mean .jpg
> The coven is dead
I wasn't aware they were in a fight with witches. What'd they do with Cordelia Goode?
> What has the power to instantly kill apart from IED, nuclear warfare or poisoning?
Uh, guns? Napalm? UV grenades? Blade?
> Wipe out hundreds of vampires easily
So we have a mass murdering vampire predator that can wield magic and he's an aggressive beast. The author really seems to love her 'beastly, possessive and aggressive' top Jayce.
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> When the man asks him why he is so scared, he says he doesn't know how to explain
I guess identifying as a man grants you jack shit because all it takes is an actual penis owner to come in and boss you around. Whatever could the author mean by that?
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> Slicked-back sky-blue hair
Wow, Albus Ferros (that's who this rich guy is, and his hair is brown)
> So handsome that it burns Viktor's eyes to behold him
"Yeah this guy made me murder people when I didn't want to, turned me into a monster and now stalks me for eternity, but he's tall, hot and has a big dick so who cares?" - Literally the worst kind of female fanfic imaginable. Just pathetic. A real hybristophile.
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I love how the natal male is the one who has the most overpowering voice while the True and Honest Man is meek and weak. It just keeps happening and they don't realize what they're saying with their words.
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FTMs always talk about verbally eviscerating people, yet never do. Why? The social aspect would just be 'too bad', while the penis owner can actually eviscerate people and get a pat on the back. No, there's nothing to glean from this differential treatment, shut up and let this creature whip out his Grimace dick!
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> Dimples of Venus
Fun fact: they're more prominent in women than men 😉 Nothing like clocking your trans vampire.
> Never accepted anyone invading Viktor's space, including Sky
'GET THAT FUCKING NIGGER AWAY FROM MY PROPERTY!' ahh logic. This girl does nothing wrong and yet this Latino wants to go full South Central race war on her.
> Never condoned people crossing the boundaries of acquaintanceship
So the love of your life and 'half of your soul' dictated who and what was allowed in your relationships - and even friendships - and threatened those who got too close. That's not just codependency, that's abusive behaviour. Just because your 'possessive' lover is hot doesn't make them a good person.
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> Warning him of a predator on the move
I'm not getting over how it's always the brown man that's the predator and the white one their victim. It never, ever fails and you know these Yookay lassies wouldn't entertain it if this man looked like the Yakub Somalians.
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> Straights to his full height. Up and up and up
What, is he 7'5? How small is Viktor? A meager 5'1? Give me some numbers.
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> The most dangerous beast he knows
Nothing like calling the brown man a beast and writing him as so possessive he's ready to start a race war when a black friend so much as looks at your white fave.
> I should have put a collar on you. Should have locked you down, chained you to my bed
How chivalrous, writing the brown man as a wannabe slave owner too. He'd be a great Ottoman in another life.
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> Collects his wrist in a one-handed grip
Oh we are really going with the basic bitch hetslop now.
> There was a time after his transformation that he surpassed him in strength
I don't believe that for a second. We infer from the beginning that Jayce was already huge and powerful when he turned Viktor and there is no way this tiny thing can flip him around. This is later wholly disproven when the author writes that he bench presses three times Viktor's weight and has a 'behemoth' body.
> A fucking monster that should be beheaded for violating his autonomy
So do you want me to call Blade, or not? He complains about his autonomy NOW, but watch how fast he drops it.
> The other man's fangs are bigger than his own
I really do have to laugh. She wants this character to be treated as a man and yet he is outdone by the actual male in every way: the male has a bigger body, teeth, dick, limbs, fingers, greater strength, bigger hands, bigger aura. He's just a tiny, total loser in the world of vampires and the only way he gets around is by being a sugar baby. Carmilla would NEVER.
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> It is written in the stars that he would ultimately surrender to Jayce Talis
So all that talk about autonomy, fear, and wanting to be free was for fucking nothing because he was ultimately going to fold to this 'dominant alpha male' piece of shit as soon as he got his pussy fingered. How absolutely pathetic.
> Soaking in his life-affirming molecules
But there are no gender affirming molecules because you're nothing next to an actual male vampire. What does that say about you?

All this talk about 'his Jayce' when he lived in total fear of him. All that hate just disappears because - again - a good dicking fixes all problems.
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> nnngh
Great. Your beastly vampire alpha male returns and all you can do is moan like Joe Biden.
> Undignified squeal
Do you sound like a woman when you squeal, or do you try to dampen it to sound more masc?
> Obsessive love and cruel possession
He's neither of these things but hey, if you want a dark and dangerous baddies just go to Tower Hamlets, dear author.
> His dripping wet insides
So vampires who are starving and growing weak can have 100% good to go, dripping pussies. The more you know.
> How long has Viktor dreamed about reuniting with Jayce? How long has he yearned for him?
Never, because it wasn't in the text. He was flip-flopping on whether to forgive him for taking away his autonomy or not, and now he's 'OMG I LUV YOU DON'T LEAVE ME EDWARD' because he's got the gorilla punchers up his snatch. There was no yearning; he was fearing for his life up until now.
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> Unless Viktor has been blind, deaf and dumb the entire time
Wouldn't he know after Jayce turned him because he can read thoughts now? Or was that an afterthought in itself? He was out there putting his pussy on display and Jayce was...getting mad at Sky talking to him. He wanted his senpai to notice him but never noticed the red flags.
> Unrequited love and lust for the man had been an exercise of ritual humiliation
But being told you'd be better off chained up and having said soul mate disregard your autonomy and self-respect? That's love, bruv.
> The appendages sliding in like a hot knife through softened butter
> Humiliatingly slick sounds
Starving vampires ready to die get super slick pussies without a heartbeat, news at 11.
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> Whorish, lustful, desperate body
Trans men can't stand up to actual men but when push comes to shove, they're bent over the table to get railed for their sins. That fingering doesn't sound nice, either, despite the FIVE uses of 'pleasure' in a single screengrab.
> He would have cried, screamed wailed
100% consensual, bro, the beastly brown man is his true love, trust
> Wonders if he should feel insulted by how easily Jayce overpowers him
Yes, you should wonder how the biological male who will always be heavier, stronger and more robust than you can manhandle you so easily. Such a fucking mystery why that is. He can bench press three times your weight? Wow! Why is that? Anyone want to tell me? SUCH A SHOCKER the 6'2 man is SOOOO BIIIIGGG that he could fight Bigfoot one handed while smoking a Clint Eastwood cigar.
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> A bit of a size queen
*Size king. You want to be treated as a man? use the proper pronouns.
> Knows he never belonged
What happened to being seen at your group? At finally being accepted? Did we just forget that because he's getting split in half by our vampire Gorilla Glue here?
> He turned a good man into a monster out of desperation
> The entire mess is his fault
Whoa whoa, whoa. That's not what was established. Jayce turned HIM and violated HIS autonomy, now he's taking it back and blaming HIMSELF for the actions of a grown-ass man? That is the most female thing you can do is blame yourself for a scrote-haver's actions.
> He imagines Sky's frown of displeasure at his lack of shame, of the pity in Mel's eyes
Of course the black women can see the shit for what it is. But no, we won't accept those dirty niggers' opinions. We will give up the autonomy we allegedly wanted so badly for a man with a dick that splits us in half like a Subway sandwich.
> His yearning for the other man
He spent the entire fic running away from him because he was deathly afraid of his beastly nature. Of course it gets retconned because WHOA, 12 INCH DICK ALERT
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He says that he's 'too big' and that it 'won't fit', despite that pussy squelching from this big-ass fingers a few paragraphs ago. It doesn't surprise me in the slightest he's got a battering ram of a dick; and look! There's the 'moulding his insides' line from that big, fat cock that is a literal meat tenderizer. He's lucky he's immortal because that's a literal death dagger right there.
> Humiliation upon humiliation
He says, while getting taken advantage of by a penis owning male who later says he wanted to crush your ankles Misery-style because HOLY FUCK. You can't talk about emasculation because you aren't a male to begin with.
> Cunt - stretched too wide
How wide? Is it stretched all the way across? Does vampirism give it extra stretchiness? How does it maintain blood flow and arousal when you don't have a heartbeat? Better yet, how does Jayce get a monstrous erection if he doesn't have a heartbeat, either? It'd just be one floppy sock and couldn't be used for anything - well, maybe a good luck charm if Blade chops it off.
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It says a lot when the trans man vampire is bossed around, humiliated, 'emasculated' and more by the penis-owning vampire but it's okay because all those torturous inches are going inside him. It's love, yo. At this rate, fucking Nosferatu is more of a gentleman because he knows full well he's a monster and you have to go to HIM to get corrupted.
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> Rapturous beast
The beastly big brown man who stalked his 'better half' who was morbidly afraid of him and starved himself and contemplated suicide and - hey, did you know he missed him so much? All those thoughts about not wanting to forgive him (lies) and worries about a predator were just a bait and switch! He thought about this the whole time! He wants a rough fuck where it toes the line of a nasty rape but it's OK because he's nice and wet and this is his soul mate!
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> I always thought you were perfect
He didn't, though. Do we recall how Viktor wondered how this boy became cruel and that he felt a sense of belonging at last? What happened to that?
> Brutally split apart around his partner's cock
Yes, the 6'' wide, 12'' long death dagger is doing his job rearranging his organs and he can feel it in his lungs...guys, it's his soul mate. Can you not hear the Daft Punk soundtrack in the background? He's getting jackhammered and his uterus is being turned into Svíčková na smetaně BUT WHO CARES IT'S ETERNAL LOVE FUCK YOU TWILIGHT COULD NEVER
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> The plush fat of his thighs
He has none.
> Balls slapping pink tattoos into his perineum
Ouch. Someone should pitch that for a new Jackass skit.
> Taking with him his ability to walk
The author has a content warning for ableism, but apparently it's OK when your boytoy with a gigantic penis threatens to break the ankles of his soul mate and true love and 'splits him on half' with that death dagger. It's not ableism when WE do it, sweaty.
> Hips juddering as he squirts, liquid rushing over Jayce's pulsing length
He doesn't have a heartbeat but he can squirt liquid at Mach 3 because Reasons. Didn't like being penetrated and complained of pain but can do the GTA firetruck squirt and produce so much it's beyond supernatural and more of a 'hey look, it's not so bad, look how much he squirted!' Send him to Palestine so he can quench some thirst and feed some olive trees.
> He should feel half indignant at the savagery inflicted upon him
He should. But he won't because he's in love and this is his soul mate. Forget the fact he wanted him chained up and hobbled like that infamous Misery scene - THEY ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, DAMMIT! LOOK AT THAT SQUIRT! He feels like a half-chewed rat? He wondered what turned his best friend into a monster? Preposterous! Look at that squirt! He took that monster dick like a pro!
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Stop applying critical thinking to stuff like this and wondering why they keep making the brown man a rapist who cannot control his sexual urges who can be forgiven if he has a large penis. They are doing this for free and you should always congratulate them. Stop asking the white fujos why they think this way. Just shut up and look at that squirt despite the fact that the vagina was literally being torn in half.
TL;DR lil dood fears his best friend for becoming a monster, flees halfway across the world to escape him, later encounters him in a back alley in a bar and gets that vampire pussy pounded. Blames himself for turning his friend into a monster despite said friend turning him first and said yearning lover/soul mate/My One and Only telling him he would've broken his ankles as a human. Literally this meme:
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These in particular have always made me question what the actual fuck is wrong with people who use AO3 or Fanfiction.net. I get the rhetoric of "If you don't like it, dont read it! It's fanwork!" but when do we draw the line at fanworks and borderline illegal content?

- Harry and Luna as Pedophiles.
- Harry literally being raped and skullfucked.

I get having an outlet for things. But this seems way, wayyy too prevalent in these communities to just be an outlet.
There's this sense of entitlement - see the tweet I posted above - where you, either as an anonymous creative or just a reader - are expected to just consume their content and never say anything about it because you do not produce the same amount of material they do. One classic move these people love doing is going to your profile - if you made a comment connected to your writing one, that is - and lambast your work without any qualms, while expecting YOU to be polite to them. You are expected to tolerate their 'therapeutic' kinks while not approaching it with the same media literacy they want you to approach other works. You know how they say that all art is political? They don't apply that to their porn. Somehow, their 'free labour' is exempt. It isn't. It's a gift culture - and those privileges can easily be revoked. I can discard a gift all I want. You are not paying me to keep it. Its worth is determinant on the one who places value on it.

Pedophiles in fandom are by far the most entitled because they love wielding their abuse as a bludgeon. You are more evil for calling out their pedophilia than them writing it.
 
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The Auction

Another Dramoine fanfic getting the trad publishing treatment. In fact, this one’s already been released, Rose in Chains (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show...s?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=hL9yGiIwbs&rank=1). From a quick skim of the reviews, people who went into this not knowing it was a Dramoine fic usually found it lacking. The people ranking it highly are Dramoine fans or are just your typical mouthbreathing romantasy enjoyers. I’m writing this part before reading the actual fanfic so if The Auction is moderately entertaining or funny, I might read Rose in Chains. The author, Julie Soto, has published a couple books. It’s a mixture of original work and repackaged fanfic.

The Auction is a part of a series called “Rights and Wrongs.” There are six stories in this series:
  1. The Right Thing to Do
  2. All the Wrong Things
  3. The Auction
  4. Birth Right
  5. When What's Right Is Wrong
  6. All Right
From what I can piece together, The Auction is a dark re-imagining of The Right Thing to Do where Voldemort wins the battle at Hogwarts and kills Harry. All The Wrong Things is just The Right Thing to Do from Draco’s POV. The rest are focused on other characters.

The Auction is the one that got the most attention, got the trad publishing treatment, and works as a standalone. It’s been taken down from the Internet. When What’s Right Is Wrong is also missing, idk what’s up with that.

The Auction is 325K words. The Auction is shorter than Manacled (370K) and significantly shorter than Secrets and Masks (450K). The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson is about 383K words. All three Lord of the Rings books combined are about 480K words.

The author doesn’t waste time. We open with Voldemort killing Harry and chaos breaking out on the battlefield. Hermoine sees Narcissa slip off and follows her, then spies on her speaking to Draco; Draco is looking for someone. Hermoine gets stunned by an unseen assailant.

When Hermoine comes to, she’s in a room with a bunch of other girls from the battle. They all have names inked on their forearms, all boys who fought for Voldemort, and presumably the ones who captured them. Pansy Parkinson is there and says that they’ll be auctioned off. She clearly knows more than she lets on. The girls are kept for days, fed and bathed, harassed by the usual suspects in these sorts of fics (Yaxley, Dolohov, etc.). A few girls are killed in escape attempts. These are all side characters that I barely remember from the books/movies and I don’t care. Hermoine learns that due to being one of the Golden Trio, and a virgin, she’s expected to fetch a high price. She also learns that there are boys being kept captive as well, in a separate location. Anyone who isn’t a pureblood is forcibly sterilized although the nurses are half-assing the procedure in a quiet act of rebellion, giving the girls a chance at having children in the future.

The day of the auction comes. The captives are all taken to a theater and auctioned off. It appears that Death Eaters were allowed to keep whoever they captured or sell them off. We do see that George and Ron Weasley are present but I don’t remember who buys them. There’s a funny moment where Pansy and Hermoine distract their guards by shimmying their dresses up and thrusting their chests out, allowing for an escape attempt that fails. Hermoine regains consciousness to find everyone has been sold but her and Ginny. Ginny is sold for an exorbitant amount, but it’s nothing compared to the bidding war for Hermoine. Dolohov buys Hermoine with the money he made from selling his other girls, but when Hermoine is taken backstage she sees the magical signature on her arm change to read “D.M.”

Draco has also purchased Pansey, and the two are apparated to the Malfoy mansion. Pansy lingers behind Hermoine, and the gates shut between them. Hermoine sees Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass appear and burn off Pansy’s mark. When Hermoine tries to reach them, they tell her she’s in the safest place and leave.

Hermoine is ushered into the manor by an elf. She is shown to a suite with a reading area, luxurious bed, and bathroom. The closet is full of clothes that fit perfectly. Narcissa is very nice, offering Hermoine food and insisting she get comfortable. Lucius is a little more off-putting but still doesn’t overtly threaten Hermoine. Draco mostly avoids her; they have an incident where he tells her to be grateful or her situation might change, and he’s a bit callous when he tells her that Luna Lovegood killed herself rather than be a sex slave, but overall he is civil as well. She is allowed the run of the manor, but her mark prevents her from leaving the grounds without Draco. Hermoine remains suspicious but ends up starting to let her guard down.

Voldemort insists on seeing Hermoine. Draco makes her change into something skimpy and brings her before Voldemort and a crowd of Death Eaters. Draco is mean to her and says something to Voldemort about drawing out Hermoine’s torment. It’s very obvious that he’s putting on a show in front of these evil guys, but Hermoine falls for it and feels all betrayed. She mouths off at one point and Draco clobbers her. Voldemort searches through her memories and sees that she crushed on Draco hard in school. Suspicious, he searches Draco’s memories as well but apparently finds nothing as he seems satisfied. Upon return to the manor, Draco heals her fat lip and demands to know what Voldemort saw in Hermoine’s head, but she refuses to tell him, convinced it will give him more ammunition to use against her. I don’t know why she doesn’t trust him at this point as he has proven himself completely trustworthy and unwilling to hurt her. She’s in a suite with a personal library and she has the run of the manor for goodness sake.

Later, Hermoine is on a walkabout on the grounds and finds the border where her mark will not let her pass. Lucius happens along and advises she not try to escape. She flings herself through the barrier and has only vague recollections of Lucius having to carry her inside. The barrier is the equivalent of a cruciatus curse, and Hermoine is bedridden. Everyone is generally pretty nice and the elves are instructed to tend to her.

Hermoine is awoken in the middle of the night by Bellatrix straddling her. For some reason she can’t really scream, maybe fear. Bellatrix mocks her for a bit, and says something about how she doesn’t see the appeal of these sex slaves and her resistance to being ruled by her dick is why she’s Voldemort’s right hand gal. I am not sure if this is a mistake, or if Bellatrix is supposed to be a troon in this story. She starts carving Hermoine’s arm up and Hermoine finally makes enough noise for Draco to appear (shirtless of course). He calmly requests that Bellatrix leave and then rushes to Hermoine’s side. She’s going delirious, poisoned by Bellatrix’s blade. Draco has to suck the venom from her arm before healing her. It’s all very sexy. Bellatrix has carved “’s” next to the “D.M” already on Hermione’s arm. So now it reads “D.M.’s.” Not sure the point of that.

While perusing the library, Hermoine comes across a book on occlumency that has been left out, seemingly for her to find. This baffles her and it’s like, obviously the Malfoys want to hide how well they’ve been treating you, retard. Lucius and Draco get called away for a super secret Death Eater mission, and they remain gone for like two weeks, Narcissa disappearing as well. During this time, Hermoine wanders the mansion, studies, and learns that Draco has installed a semi-secret (mostly hidden with some charms and stuff) room like right next to hers. She snoops through his stuff but finds nothing of interest except some newspaper clippings about her being a person of interest when she was on the run with Harry and Ron.

Hermoine learns from a house elf that Draco was seriously injured and had to have the bones in his arm and torso re-grown. He does make a re-appearance while she’s in the garden, arm in a sling, and he starts picking on her for I don’t even remember what, maybe her not being grateful enough, and as her temper rises, energy blasts from her and sends him flying into a wall. He starts puking blood and babbling about he knew she’d be the death of him (get a grip dude, you guys barely talk). Hermoine gets a house elf to take Draco away and Draco spends even more time resting up in bed, although this time he’s in the room next to hers. She ponders her magic, as she had assumed she was being given some sort of suppressant and I guess never considered just… trying to use magic? She eventually works up the nerve to go apologize and when she bursts in to do so, she is horrified to realize mid-apology that Zabini is in there. She retreats to her room and some time later Zabini comes in (what sort of slapdash charms are the Malfoys putting on her room?) and teases her about her apparent care for Draco. She asks him where Pansy is and he tells her that Pansy is dead but it’s an obvious lie. Despite leering openly at Hermoine, he leaves with no harm done. Draco shows up later and is furious that Zabini was able to get into the room. He sticks to the same Pansy story as Zabini and isn’t too bothered that Hermoine almost vaporized him.

Draco shows up and curtly demands that Hermoine get dressed because they have to see Voldemort again, and he flings a tiny dress at her. This is where things go from 0 to 100. Upon emerging from the bathroom, Hermoine can see that something has come over Draco; his manner is aggressive and his eyes are closed off. Draco assaults Hermoine, groping her hard enough to bruise and jacking off onto her. Afterwards, he roughly dresses her and drags her downstairs. Hermoine begins to put the pieces together: Voldemort is here and will want to search her memories again. Malfoy assaulted her so she would have memories of it, to avoid suspicion around their princess treatment of her. She starts using what she’s learned in occlumency to hide away any memories of the Malfoys being kind to her, and bring forward the assault.

Voldemort is indeed there, and Draco’s parents are already at attention. Voldemort sorts through her memories and although she does successfully keep him from seeing the Malfoy’s kindness, but she is unsuccessful in keeping him from seeing that the Golden Trio did figure out what he was up to with horcruxes. Throughout, Hermoine senses Lucius quietly following along behind Voldemort, seeing what Voldy’s digging through.

I want to take a quick aside here to say that I really like the characterization of Lucius so far. He clearly dislikes Hermoine and doesn’t want her in his house, he’s quick to jump when Voldemort summons him, but he rescued her from outside the barrier with a gentleness that wasn’t needed and when he catches her eavesdropping on him around the house he seems amused. At this point I genuinely do not know his motives as he also invades Hermoine’s mind and watches from a distance. Maybe just to cover his family’s ass. Look, I’ll give out compliments when they’re due.

Voldemort is disturbed and has Hermoine sent away. Hermoine’s barely conscious at this point and she is vaguely aware that Narcissa is juggling helping Hermoine to her room and telling Draco to get his shit together and go see if Voldemort needs him; Draco is having some sort of retching panic attack, presumably a delayed response from assaulting Hermoine. Ultimately Hermoine is left to make her own way to her room. It’s on fire; her magic set it ablaze during her assault. Hermione, understandably, has a house elf take her to sleep somewhere else and put out the flames.

Hermoine isn’t feeling too hot but she overall understands why Draco did what he did. I am not so understanding; if Draco really cared about her, he should have been planning for this eventuality and worked with Hermoine to figure something out. Draco is obviously avoiding her and when Hermoine does catch glimpses of him, he looks ill. She notices that her quarters have been renovated and someone is restocking her bookshelves, which were cleared out in the fire. She pieces together that this is Draco trying to apologize. She does bump into him in the hallway and he’s stricken. She says she forgives him and he just kind of stands there awkwardly until she leaves. Lucius is gone on some quest “for the Dark Lord,” idk where.

The Malfoys have company and Hermoine is warned to stay upstairs but she goes down to eavesdrop. It’s Theodore Nott and his dad. They are there to use the Malfoys’ library and when they inquire about Lucius and Hermoine, Narciss and Draco give them the runaround. Hermoine is caught eavesdropping and brought in. This arouses a lot of suspicion as apparently Draco has been telling people Hermoine has some gross disease to justify keeping her sequestered from the public. Now Draco is left without an excuse to not bring her to the soirees that the Death Eaters put on at a castle in Edinburgh. It should be noted that from here on, Draco makes frequent references to Theo being secretly gay.

One of these parties quickly approaches. Hermoine has to dress in something skimpy and accompany Draco. Death Eaters are there with their sex slaves and it’s what you would image: black tie party with men (and some women) forcing slaves to perform sex acts on/for them in private rooms, in corners, or (once the alcohol starts really flowing) right in the open. Some of these slaves are minors. The slaves wear collars designating them as someone’s property. Draco’s appropriately curt and rude to Hermoine at the party, but refrains from outright groping her or making her do anything sexual to him. He also refuses to allow other men to touch her. He does this under the guise of “I don’t like to share” but it’s clear that everyone’s getting suspicious at this point. Some of them even offer to give Draco some sort of potion that was cooked up to make the slaves lust for their masters, but Draco declines. One does begin to wonder why all the Death Eaters are so absolutely horrible, while Draco and his mother are decent people. What’s in the water? Hermoine does see some people she knows and through gestures and hints she gathers that a lot of these women are waiting for the right time to organize some sort of rebellion. Lucius’ whereabouts are a bit topic of conversation as Draco won’t tell anyone anything. Hermoine hears that Ginny went apeshit at one of these parties and killed one or two guys so she isn’t allowed back.

Back at Malfoy manor, Hermoine presses Draco about what he’s done at past parties. He reluctantly admits that he has rented/borrowed slaves before but he swears he’s never made them have sex with him. He tells Hermoine that when Ginny caused a ruckus at that other party, she was gang-raped as punishment. This is the final straw and Hermoine resolves to keep going to these parties so she can try to get some of these women alone to speak to them and form some sort of plan. She doesn’t voice this aloud to Draco (pretty smart ngl) but instead says that in order to maintain their cover she has to keep going. Draco doesn’t like this and says they can’t keep going to these parties and not doing sexual acts. He says that at some point the group will insist that he give her that sex-pollen-trope potion in front of everyone. Hermoine says that if he can get some for her, she can engineer an antidote and then she can fake it at the party.

Hermoine speaks to Narcissa, who voices her displeasure for these “parties” and encourages Hermoine to do whatever she can to save whoever she can. Draco does get her some sex bomb potion to experiment with, but he is unconvinced that as a SWEET AND PURE VIRGIN she can pull off acting like a cat in heat. Taking the challenge, she throws herself all over him before he practically flings her off him and leaves the room.

The next party date comes around and Draco slips off without Hermoine. She’s pissed and waits up for him. She hears him return and barges into his room. She’s in there. Well, not Hermoine exactly, but Pansy disguised as Hermoine. Draco took her to the party. He denies having sex with Pansy-Hermoine at the party but it wouldn’t convince me personally. Hermoine loses her shit and gets Draco to promise to take her to the party next time.

Hermoine does learn that Narcissa has made some complaints to Voldemort himself; apparently these get-togethers are meant to be a way to network, share notes, and progress his campaign (which is running into its fair share of obstacles), not just orgies. Zabini visits the mansion with the minor from the sex parties. She’s the daughter of the Italian Prime Minister and she’s been captured and used as a sex slave to bend the PM to Voldemort’s will; Italy has been resistant to his rule. Draco assures Hermoine that the Italian child bride won’t be at any more parties.



Hermoine and Draco go to another party. They seem to happen weekly. Voldemort has told people to calm down so there’s still sex but it’s not as out in the open. Hermoine tries to hug and kiss on Draco some to maintain their cover and he keeps pushing her away. She’s nervous someone will notice and raise questions. The Italian child bride is there, which upsets Hermoine There are a lot of jokes around Hermoine’s “previous performance” and Hermoine gathers that Pansy sucked Draco off in front of everyone, in Hermoine’s body. Some dude tells her that he knows where Ron Weasley is, and he’ll tell her if she makes out with him. She does, and he tells her that Ron is being held by one of the Lestranges. Mood completely soured, Draco tries to drag Hermoine home and she says she has to pee. In the bathroom, some slave Hermoine doesn’t recognize tries to fiddle with her collar, and when this attracts the attention of the bathroom guard, they move out into the hallway where the slave sucks Hermoine’s face to hide that she’s stuffing something behind Hermoine’s slave collar. Draco is now double pissed and they argue all the way home. Hermoine tells him that if he wasn’t hiding everything from her, she wouldn’t have to kiss randoms for information, she wouldn’t be taken aback by the fact that everyone saw her blow him, and she would know how to act convincingly.

Hermoine examines her collar in private. She has a letter from Ginny asking how to kill Voldemort. I think she’s in Voldemort’s personal care but can’t recall. Hermoine writes a note saying to target the snake, as that’s all she can fit onto a tiny scrap of paper, and saves it to bring to the next party. She tells Draco that they need to practice eating dinner with her sitting in his lap (all the Death Eaters make their slaves sit in their laps when they eat), so that it’s a rehearsed routine and they look natural. While very trope-y, this is obviously a good point. Draco agrees and they start having dinners together. Draco does not react well to Hermoine touching or kissing him and it seems apparent that more than the mildest physical contact from her is either A) utterly repulsive to him or B) sends him into Bonerville. Take your pick. Narcissa walks in on them and that puts a stop to things for a bit.

Another party. The sex slave who slipped Hermoine the note is nowhere to be found. Draco and Hermoine are able to act a little better. As they are about to leave, everyone is summoned to the courtyard for a public execution. The head hostess (who I have refrained from mentioning since there are a lot of OCs in this story) comes by and gives Hermoine a meaningful look so Hermoine gives her the note for Ginny. The sex slave that slipped Hermoine the note and her brother were caught conspiring against the Dark Lord, and they are vaporized by a canon at close range. Brutal. Draco has to help Hermoine keep it together. She has a full on emotional breakdown back at the manor and Draco lets her sob and snot all over him. She rightfully lays into Draco for not warning her that there aren’t occasionally public executions at these parties. She makes him promise to help her make these people pay, and to not keep any more secrets from her, and he says ok. She asks him why he bought her and he’s like “um, I’ll tell you anything but that.” Deranged. Just tell her you have a crush on her and move on. You had to sexually assault her moments before Voldemort read her mind and you had someone polyjuiced as her suck your dick, I think you’re past the embarrassment of admitting grade-school crushes. Hermoine, for her part, tells him about the connections she’s made at some of these parties. She tells him that the next step is to get alone with Cho Chang, who’s been making eyes at Hermoine. Her master whores her out often so it shouldn’t be hard. They devise a plan to get Hermoine alone with Cho at the next party. Hermoine and Draco resume their dinner practice and Draco has the same… performance issues. Hermoine notices that Draco is feverishly researching something in the library, but he won’t let her help.

She’s awoken in the middle of the night by Narcissa and Draco looming over her. They tell her not to be alarmed, but they won’t tell her more beyond “we’re having guests in a few hours and we need to do some obscure ritual on you first.” They summon Lucius from the fireplace/floo and he assists them. It involves German incantations and apparently only Lucius has the skill for it. Draco watches from the corner and Narcissa holds Hermoine down. Lucius summons Hermoine’s actual, literal virginity from her womb as a glowing orb that Draco captures in a jar, then leaves to go resume whatever it was he was doing. Hermoine demands answers and is told that there is a medical exam in the morning, and although the Malfoys aren’t really sure why, they fear her intact virginity may be discovered. Draco found a solution in the nick of time, and didn’t want Hermoine helping him because he thought it would be too distressing for her. Hermoine is pissed that he might have had to, at the last minute, explain the situation to her and force her into having sex with him instead of giving her time to prepare. She’s also angry that he put her and his family at risk instead of just asking her to have sex with him, which would have been awkward and difficult but would have not put everyone’s lives in jeopardy. This escalates into an argument where Draco accidentally reveals that he considers Hermoine part of the family before he runs off in embarrassment.

I’m a good old-fashioned Christian who believes in waiting until marriage but the idea of a woman’s virginity being a glowing ball that she hides under her bed for safekeeping is too misogynistic to put into words.

Dolohov arrives in the AM. Apparently some muggle and mudblood sex slaves are getting pregnant, which shouldn’t be happening. He’s got some nurses with him and they conduct a medical scan of Hermoine in front of Dolohov, Draco, and Narcissa. While her virginity is safely hidden in her sock drawer or whatever, the nurses do find that one of her fallopian tubes is intact. Dolohov demands it be severed and Draco tries to protest, but doesn’t really have a good excuse. Narcissa knocks out Dolohov and the nurses and puts a powerful memory charm over them. Narcissa later confesses to Hermoine that she struggled with fertility herself and can’t abide that being taken from a woman.

Party time. Pansy arrives and gives Hermoine a makeover. She’s been polyjuiced as the Italian child bride and it’s been her at the parties. It was her idea to polyjuice as Hermoine that one time, to protect Draco from suspicion. Pansy seems to resent how bad Hermoine is at being sexy. Draco gets a private room and leaves Hermoine and Cho alone for a few minutes. Hermoine is able to confirm that Cho is part of the rebellion and has occasional contact with Ginny. Cho gives Hermoine a suicide pill in case she finds herself up against a wall. Hermoine relays some additional information about horcruxes and weapons; for the Malfoys’ safety, she doesn’t tell Cho that Draco is helping her. This leads to Cho insisting that they start getting naked so Draco isn’t suspicious. Draco walks in on Cho peeling off Hermoine’s panties with her teeth. Draco whisks Hermoine off. Hermoine tells him about her conversation with Cho and shows him the suicide pill. He freaks and throws it in the fire. Cue yet another argument. Draco says he didn’t drop a ton of money on Hermoine and put himself at so much risk so she can just kill herself if she’s in a tight spot. Hermoine says that she’s not Draco’s possession and if it comes down to dying or moving into Dolohov or Voldemort’s possession, she’s going to ACK! They end up kissing and it gets hot and heavy pretty quick, but then Draco gets all apologetic and leaves. Hermoine wonders if he just kissed her because she looks especially hot that night, or if Pansy deepthroating him in Hermoine’s body has confused his brain.

Hermoine makes some headway on learning where the magical slave tattoos came from and how to circumvent them without burning your arm with acid or cutting it off. The tattoos have their origins in colonial America, used to keep control of African slaves. Shocker. She bumps into Draco in the library and he apologizes for losing control of himself, which causes Hermoine to feel a bit hurt. She says they need to keep practicing because they still act awkward around each other and Draco reluctantly agrees. Cue dinner time, Hermoine’s kissing all over Draco again, he gets uncomfortable, and she discovers to the surprise of no one that he has a boner. He storms off, embarrassed, and she pieces together that this has been the issue the whole time, so he is actually attracted to her. He leaves for a few days for some mission but it’s not important. When he returns, she tells him that he respectfully needs to get over it and they need to be able to make out convincingly like all the other Death Eaters and their slaves.

At this point I need some answers on why Draco paid so much money for Hermoine, why he cares about her, why he has the crippling hots for her, and why he won’t act on those feelings. I also want to know why Narcissa cares and why Lucius is willing to humor it. We’re about halfway through the book.

Another dinner time. Hermoine insists that Draco take the lead this time so they have more than one rehearsed moveset and things quickly get hot and heavy. Things are progressing full steam ahead (how would that work with Hermoine’s virginity hidden under her bed?). Lucius walks in on them quite literally dry-humping each other on the chaise lounge. Lucius is not convinced by their protestations that this is practice for the parties, and he makes some joke about how Hermoine probably should have been sterilized before informing them that instead of going to the Death Eater party in a few days, they are all four of them going to a dinner with the Lestranges. He dismisses Draco and tells Hermoine that she needs to keep it in her pants or he’ll have her room moved next to his study. He also implies that she’s trying to get pregnant with a Malfoy heir to protect herself.

Hermoine doubles down on her occlumency studies. Narcissa visits her and says it is of the utmost importance that Bellatrix not find anything amiss in Hermoine’s mind. She uses legilimency to create false memories for Hermoine to present at the dinner: that Hermoine is sterilized, that Draco has been forcing himself on her, etc. She says she’ll have Hermoine’s room stocked with contraceptives and Hermoine gets all flustered.

Dinner with the Lestranges. There are some additional unexpected guests (Flint and some other nasties idk) and Bellatrix puts the Malfoys on the spot for treating Hermoine so well, although she doesn’t see anything beyond Hermoine’s false memories. Draco has apparently been avoiding lethal curses while on missions and Bellatrix gives him a hard time about this as well. She announces that she’s volunteered Draco for a Switzerland mission (apparently this is very dangerous territory atm) and Voldemort has agreed. The Malfoys are very upset about this. People disperse. The adults go to chat in another room and the nasties go to make out with their slaves and they force Draco and Hermoine along. They have a new batch of the sex-pollen-trope potion, even though Voldemort has forbidden it, and this one is even more potent. They dose their slaves but Draco keeps them from drugging Hermoine. After a few moments Draco starts losing his shit and storms off with Hermoine. They spiked his drink with the sex pollen. They are put in a difficult spot as Draco is trying to stay as far away from Hermoine as possible and refuses to touch her, but they have to touch in order to allow Hermoine to leave the premises. Hermoine takes his wand and gets them back to Malfoy Manor via floo. Draco is all over her at this point and it’s bordering on sexual assault but she’s kinda into it. She is able to get them downstairs and start whipping up an antidote, Draco so horny he’s bordering on a heart attack. Hermoine is afraid that stunning him could have some weird effect with the potion. He starts actually seizing with the power of his horny but Hermoine is able to get him the antidote. He’s horrified and scurries off.

Lucius is able to convince Voldemort that Draco doesn’t need to go to Switzerland. Narcissa “takes care” of the Lestrange portraits that saw Hermoine use the floo. Draco gets the guys who roofied him in trouble with Voldemort. Hermoine starts making a breakthrough with the tattoos and asks Draco’s help. She says that she knows the Malfoys have her as insurance in case the resistance beats Voldemort and they have to go before a tribunal for war crimes; Hermoine can vouch that she was treated well. This pisses him off because it’s obvious to any reader that this isn’t his true motive. At first it seems he won’t help her, since if she escapes then his family is on the line, but he gives in. He says he is absolutely not comfortable with them having their makeout practice sessions anymore and Hermoine respects that. This goes out the window in like two days when she finds a new manuscript from her favorite author under her door as a birthday gift. She kisses Draco as thanks and they start aggressively making out again and only don’t have sex because the house elf interrupts them. So, I guess Draco is actually fine with kissing her.

Draco and Hermoine spend their days studying to find a way around the tattoos and making out with each other. Lucius takes Hermoine aside and says that if Hermoine becomes pregnant, they won’t be able to hide it forever. Her child will be aborted and she will be sterilized. Lucius doesn’t want to put his wife and son through that, so he effectively strong-arms Hermoine into taking contraceptives. Why he isn’t having this convo with his son is a mystery.

Hermoine learns that Theo Nott’s dad was one of the wizards who worked on the binding tattoos. She thinks she can manipulate Theo for information. Her and Draco devise a plot to have him “lose” in cards against Theo and have some time with Hermoine be the tradeoff. Draco has to loop in Blaise Zabini. Their plot seems to be working, with Draco “losing” and Hermoine going to the lounge with Theo, but he realizes she’s squeezing him for info and storms off. At the Malfoy Mansion, Hermoine and Draco have an argument about who’s to blame for the plan failing and this leads to them masturbating each other. Theo summons Draco and Hermoine to his house and there he agrees to help them get around the tattoos as long as they prioritize freeing their house slave, who he’s in love with and who is regularly beaten by his father—Oliver Wood. He gives them his dad’s research notes.

Betting here that Theo ends up dead.

At this point Hermoine and Draco are fingering/jerking each other and dry humping each other daily but Hermoine’s virginity remains intact, I guess—she’s not checking on it. Still don’t understand why Draco likes Hermoine, or why he won’t perform his own contraceptive spell and plow her. At one of the parties Lucius takes Hermoine into the ultra-VIP room and introduces her to some dignitaries; she was requested, apparently. Victor Krum appears; he’s in the UK now after some mission abroad. Lucius is successful in keeping Hermoine from being raped by anyone and Draco has to fend of Krum’s requests to rent Hermoine. Hermoine wants Draco to let her speak to Krum because she suspects he works for the resistance and this causes a huge argument, after which Draco gives her the cold shoulder.

I’m realizing that these slaves are constantly on their owner’s laps or being held close to their owner’s sides. Must be some sort of fetish in that.

After some time of being given the silent treatment, Hermoine is awoken by Draco pounding on her bedroom door. He’s being sent to Switzerland. He tells her that he has no clue how long he’ll be and he’s left some items for her in his room: a portkey and a knife charmed to cauterize injuries. He says that it’s up to her what she wants to do.

Hermoine briefly considers cutting her arm off and fleeing, but she doesn’t know where the portkey will take her or how to free other people from their tattoos. She’s loathe to leave the manor and its expansive library/resources without first identifying a way to free the other slaves, and she’s afraid that escaping will bring Voldemort’s wrath down on the Malfoys. She continues to study what makes the tattoos work and how to circumvent them, making good progress, and tracks Draco’s exploits in Switzerland through the newspaper. There’s a lot of death and destruction, with Bellatrix at the front of it all and Draco by her side. He’s being forced to execute political prisoners.

There’s a New Years Eve ball; Narcissa hosts it every year. It won’t be like the Edinburgh parties. This is a much more formal affair. Lucius tugs Hermoine around but people don’t try to rape her too much. Despite Lucius’s dislike of Hermoine, he does a good job of keeping her unmolested. Draco appears unexpectedly and Lucius scolds him for stepping away from his post to try to spend NYE with Hermoine. Draco does lead Hermoine around on his arm some, but Lucius ends up ushering him off. Hermoine is heartbroken that this might be the last time she ever sees Draco.

Anyway a few weeks later, Draco is back. He seems tortured by the things he saw and did and he won’t tell Hermoine about it. This causes yet more arguments between them. He quickly gets over this though. Hermoine shares that she’s taking the contraceptive potion and her and Draco just start having sex randomly all the time, sometimes in the middle of food or studying and often not in the privacy of their bedrooms. They get very close to breaking the tattoos.

The resistance attacks during an Edinburgh party in a violent rescue mission. Some Death Eaters are killed in the attack, some slaves are collateral damage, some slaves who have been collaborating with the Order join in on the fight, werewolves show up, the house is on fire, it’s all very chaotic. The Order is just cutting off slaves’ arms and teleporting them away, but it’s imprecise and some slaves end up splinched. Draco and Hermoine manage to escape after Hermoine sees Cho die. Draco is summoned back to Edinburgh, along with Lucius, to interrogate some captured members of the Order. One of these captives is the hostess of Edinburgh, who was the focal point for coordination between the Order and slaves. Draco sucks the relevant memories from her mind and brings it home. Without a Pensieve, Draco and Hermoine can’t read it. Lucius is furious to learn that Draco and Hermoine have been playing spy. He forbids them from further tomfoolery/research and returns to Switzerland or wherever the hell he’s stationed. Draco and Hermoine figure their way around whatever wards he’s put on the Malfoy library and keep working on the tattoos.

Draco’s summoned away for some period of time and when he returns, Hermoine shows him that she’s 90% of the way to breaking the tattoos (she’s found some way around Lucius’s new wards on the library idk); Narcissa has been letting Hermoine use her wand. Draco lets slip that he used to fantasize about Hermoine in potions class and this confuses her like it isn’t obvious that Draco bought her because he’s always had the hots for her. They create a potion that nullifies the effects of the tattoos and also removes them from the skin. They test it successfully: Hermoine is able to cross the boundary of the Malfoy Manor. Now another conundrum rears its head. Draco wants Hermoine to leave and join the Order. Hermoine knows this will get the Malfoys in trouble and she wants Draco and his mom to come with. Draco says the Order won’t accept them; they aren’t hard-up for assistance because they’ve been gaining ground against Voldemort on the global stage. Hermoine decides to stay with the Malfoys.

Since Hermoine isn’t going to the Order just yet, Draco needs to return the host’s memories to her so she can at some point be freed and run back to the Order. Draco goes to do this at Hermoine’s behest while Hermoine remains. She tries to get into Lucius’s study and to her surprise all the wards on it have been removed. She finds a conspicuous, unlocked trunk and inside is a Pensieve along with a good amount of stored memories. This is very interesting and I am wondering if Lucius wanted Hermoine/Draco to get into his study. She starts going through the memories and discovers that Lucius has been removing and storing memories of him warning Hermoine to be careful, of him hesitating to kill Order members when he has a clear shot, and of Bellatrix trying to get Draco to kill people. Draco interrupts her and is furious that she’s snooping in his dad’s things. He kicks her out and then remains to dig through Lucius’s memories himself. After some time, he comes to find Hermoine and he seems disturbed by the things he has learned; he had more time to look through everything than Hermoine. He asks Hermoine what Horcruxes are. DUN DUN DUN, Lucius knows about Horcruxes! This is actually a good twist.

The two return to the Pensieve to look through more memories. The long and short of it is that during the Battle at Hogwarts, when Voldemort killed Harry, the fraction of Voldemort’s soul was not destroyed and instead flew off into Goyle Sr., who then went into hiding. Harry died for nothing. Lucius is the one who tracked down Goyle Sr. and noticed his bizarre behavior. Lucius gets Voldemort involved and Voldemort says this isn’t really a Horcrux but something else. They skip ahead to the afternoon that Voldemort came to Malfoy Manor and searched Hermoine’s memories and discovered that the Golden Trio knew about Horcruxes. I forgot to take notes for a day or two so I’m a little fuzzy here but Voldemort kills Goyle Sr. and puts the piece of his soul somewhere else. Whatever he’s doing, Lucius is roped into it.

They need to kill Nagini, and Hermoine and Draco figure out that the only remaining tool at their disposal is the basilisk fang beneath Hogwarts (after killing the diary, Hermoine had kicked it off to the side or something). Opportunity soon arises as the Dark Lord throws a Battle of Hogwarts Anniversary dinner, Malfoys invited, at the Hogwarts castle. Draco brings Hermoine to Blaise Zabini’s place. Blaise is living with Pansy, Daphne Greengrass, and the Italian minister’s daughter. The young girl has fallen for Blaise hard which is awkward and embarrassing and idk what the point is. They cook up a plan to use some Polyjuice and do a switcheroo partway through the night, allowing Blaise and Pansy pretend to be Hermoine and Draco so they can slip away during dinner and find the fang. Daphne gives Hermoine her wand.

They go to the party at Hogwarts and Hermoine remains Occluded the whole time. They torment some Muggle but it’s not very interesting. They retrieve the fang and leave. As they prepare to leave the premises, Bellatrix tries to stop them and Draco has to kill her. Blaise and Pansy deal with her body while Hermoine and Draco apparate to where they had seen Horcrux Goyle Sr. in Lucius’s memories. Voldemort has constructed a cavern with magical traps to hide the Horcrux, which he has taken from Goyle and put inside the Hogwarts Sorting Hat. Hermoine and Draco destroy it. During the struggle, Tom Riddle appears and tries to tempt Malfoy into assisting him. One of the things it dangles in front of his face is an offer: he will make Hermoine an honorary Pureblood and allow Draco to marry her. Draco’s tempted but ultimately overcomes and they defeat the Horcrux. Draco seems really stricken/embarrassed and when they return to Malfoy Manor, he storms off without talking to Hermoine.

Draco gets called away on a mission and is gone for several days. During this time, Narcissa has a hard conversation with Hermoine. The Order of the Phoenix is winning, and soon the Order will come to arrest/execute the Death Eaters. Narcissa can’t orchestrate pulling Lucius from the front lines, but she wants to go into hiding with Draco when he comes back in a few days. Hermoine can remain behind; the Order will take care of her. Narcissa asks Hermoine to explain this to Draco. Hermoine agrees. Draco returns and Hermoine puts off telling him anything. She brews some antidotes to the tattoos and her and Draco go to Edinburgh (again). Hermoine plans to try to get Ginny alone so she can slip her the antidote, maybe a few other folks if she can, but her plans are derailed when she’s taken aside while Draco’s back is turned. She’s taken into a side room and Dolohov is there. He wants to rape her, like really bad, and he reveals that Draco traded him Malfoy Manor (to be awarded upon Lucius’s death) for Hermoine. Hermoine’s all gobsmacked like “wow why would he do that” and I just can’t fathom how stupid she is. Draco appears and there’s a scuffle. Hermoine grabs a wand and strikes Dolohov with a killing curse. Hermoine and Draco leave.

At the manor, Draco comforts Hermoine the only way he knows how, rough and borderline degrading sex. He admits that he’s loved her since fourth year, which should surprise absolutely no one at this point, although one does wonder why he fell in love with her. Early in the morning, Hermoine tells Draco about Narcissa’s plan and he’s hesitant, but the decision is made for him when Ginny and Ron burst into the room. Another struggle, and Hermoine is able to throw Draco a portkey. He whisks away but Narcissa is not so lucky. Hermoine is hysterical and everyone thinks she’s got Stockholm. They stun her and take her to a hospital.

Hermoine awakes and is questioned by Ginny. It soon becomes apparent that they think she’s nuts and she’s not permitted to leave. Hermoine does come across Oliver who’s in the same boat as her. Theo’s dead, surprise. Narcissa is still being held and questioned. The Order is giving Death Eaters accelerated trials and harsh sentences, handing out executions like candy.

The Order is reluctant to let Hermoine leave, as they are convinced her mind has been meddled with. With Neville’s help, she is able to secure an interview with the press and this pressure convinces the Order to release her. Lucius Malfoy turns himself in and Hermoine decides to represent him. The Malfoy Manor is where Narcissa is being held and it’s completely barred to any visitors, so Hermoine is not allowed to use the library, her notes, or Lucius’s pensieve as evidence in his defense. At his public trial, Lucius ragebaits the Weasleys into killing him. An angry mob forms and they go to Malfoy Manor. However, Lucius’s death has triggered the manor’s kill switch defenses, and it expels anyone who isn’t Narcissa. Hermoine finds she is able to cross onto the property.

We’re a little over 80% done and there’s a lot of yapping so I started to skim. Hermoine and Narcissa are safe within the manor, but Narcissa knows the manor’s defenses will allow the rightful heir in. Even though Dolohov is dead, his family is the heir per Draco’s deal. The two nervously await one of Dolohov’s relatives, but instead the Gringott goblins show up at the manor after a few days. They have paperwork for Hermoine to sign. When Narcissa and Lucius performed the ritual that removed her virginity (which she has finally checked on now and is still safe in a jar btw), they magically adopted her into their bloodline. Doesn’t occur to Hermoine that she’s been committing incest, then. Lucius had foreseen an outcome where the Order won the war, and he knew Hermoine would keep Draco and Narcissa safe. Lucius remains the best character in this fic. Hermoine has her portrait put up in the hall alongside the other Malfoy heirs.

Hermione has also been busy writing to journalists. The increased pressure has the Order willing to work with her now. They are revamping how they hold their trials and they want Hermoine on the jury. Pansy shares her memories with Hermoine; she got caught trying to rescue Hermoine from Yaxley’s possession before the auction, at Draco’s behest, and that’s why she herself was auctioned. Hermoine is able to argue for the flimsy accusations against Pansy to be dropped.

Hermoine tells a confidant on the council that she has evidence Blaise and Draco helped get Voldemort into a vulnerable state and free the slaves. Blaise trial is soon; Draco is still at large. The confidant tells Hermoine that she can only use this evidence to save one of them. If it’s used in Blaise's defense, the prosecution will have had time to prepare a rebuttal by the time Draco is tried. Hermoine goes to visit Blaise in prison to ask for his opinion and he is totally fine going to Azkaban to spare Draco. Extremely evil. Blaise is right there facing lifetime imprisonment with dementors while Draco is God knows where and they pass on a defense. Unbelievable.

Anyway it doesn’t matter too much because Blaise’s team is able to mount a good defense, calling Hermoine and the Italian minister’s daughter to the stand to testify on his behalf, so he only gets a year and a half in Azkaban.

There’s a monument to the fallen Order members built at Hogwarts, and a vigil scheduled for its opening. Hermoine goes and runs into Ron. They have a tense conversation where Hermoine reveals she always had feelings for Draco, Ron says he could always tell Draco liked her, and Ron says that he can’t handle knowing that while he was being tortured and trying to find ways to communicate with Hermoine, she was getting plowed by his school bully.

Even though Draco is still at large, he’s getting a publicized trial. We’re at 98% so his trial won’t be too lengthy. Narcissa doesn’t want to summon Draco; her excuse is that he would show up if he wanted to, if he “thought there was something worth coming back for.” Absolutely retarded. Anyway, all the evidence of his aid to the Order is brought forward, Hermoine says she loves him on the stand, and he’s sentenced to 12 – 14 months, I guess to begin whenever he deigns to appear. After the sentencing, Hermoine goes to a muggle bookstore and Draco literally just shows up, says he’ll need some books for his “vacation” with a little smirk, doesn’t apologize for making no attempt to communicate with her during his months-long hiding, story ends right there. That’s it. The end.

I do like that this author doesn’t glorify sexual abuse like Manacled did, and the writing is not nearly as autistically cringe as Secrets and Masks. I like that Hermoine actually does something to overthrow Voldemort and free the slaves. I think Lucius is written very well. But the endless Eyes Wide Shut scenes at the castle got very old and they came up so often that I think there’s some sort of fetish hidden in there somewhere. Like a fetish for being at a fancy party under duress? Idk. When the sex scenes appear they’re always a bit out of left field, quite graphic, and jarringly out of character. There’s lots of dirty talk and Draco’s very aggressive and it doesn’t fit with how either of them behave in the story.

The lack of rape apology and anime-tier found family cringe makes The Auction superior to Manacled and Secrets and Masks. Since most of the characters in this story are not very similar to their book or film counterparts, I think adapting this for traditional publishing would be quite easy. Might read Rose in Chains at some point, but I need a break from fanfic for a little while.
 

Attachments

An over the hedge fanfiction called Verne does 9/11.
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It's exactly what you think. RJ works in the twin towers with a wife a two kids until Verne crashed the plane into them as revenge for what RJ did (if you have seen the movie)
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RJ apparently watches family guy funny moments comps man he fell off
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The fanfiction
 
Rekki, who finally figured out that ocean water does indeed taste salty, has written a Halloween fic. It has accompanying fanart that just has the 'bottom' be a woman with a woman's body. Lines for this fic include:
- Your pussy would be completely defenseless, wouldn’t it?
-
he submits to one of the velvety, musky balls sliding in his mouth
- A murderer that folds at the mere whiff of pussy.
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That's literally a woman's body. More effort was placed on the dick vein than giving the 'trans man' a remotely masculine body. They always do this. It's just straight sex with zippertit scars.

I also just realized that his right leg is normal. Guarantee the artist won't be jumped for 'ableism' by this fandom.
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She practically lifts the scene from the original 'Scream' movie, but all I think of is Scary Movie. Hence, you'll be seeing me reference lines from that film because it starts getting goofy - or Doofy - real quick.
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> Do you like Scary Movies?
Yeah, especially the ones with Shaq in them. You missed an opportunity for him to say, 'I wanna see your insides'.
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> It comes down to his hips
> They hug his hips
Lmao, what hips? You can see from the fanart he has none. He's skinnier than Regina George. The tranny knee socks are a nice touch, too.
> Your hair is in a messy bun. You're wearing eyeliner
Very masc. Rekki has never once tried to make trans Viktor masculine at all; he's just a woman with male pronouns. You can see from the fanart linked that that's exactly what he is.
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> Your pussy would be completely defenseless, wouldn't it?
You can see it on Page 54.
> Flipped shut Nokia
Oh God, you KNOW this is a roleplay because he's using a Nokia. Those phones could block bullets.
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> He's tall, imposing, filling the room
Huh. Wasn't aware he was as huge as The Tank from L4D.
> He grabs Viktor by the throat, both hands
His hand is big enough to encircle his throat; he doesn't need both. Leaving behind his knife is also a dumb thing to do, roleplay or not. They also must be in a state that regulates guns because if it were me that guy would be shot. The only hole anyone would be fucking is the one the shotgun left behind.
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> His scent is heady - masculine. Cleaner than he looks
I always love how these people know exactly what a man is and what masculinity means when you press them for it, and how they never apply it to the man they make a pooner in their works. At this rate they do it just for reach around heterosexual sex without being called boring.
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> The man's tan hands are strong
don't you love sexual dimorphism in action? All that testosterone and you'll never come close to that strength?
> Press against his little cock
You see how big Jayce is in that fanart? Yeah. I don't ever want to hear that roidclit (or regular clit in this case) called a cock ever again.
> Rips open the neck of his robe
He must've bought it at Party City. Cheap-ass polyester.
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> He's jacked - from his broad, ripping shoulders to his muscled chest and torso
Naturally. If he looked like a homeless crack addict this wouldn't be popular. Women have priorities even in their rape fantasies.
> His penis is already quite the size
Naturally. We're talking the 10-12 inchers, thick enough to knock down doors. You know the drill - and our lil Barrymore is about to get a drilling, too.
> His heavy balls are taut with arousal
> They're warm and velvet-soft
Even in rape play the balls are shaved and clean. They don't stink of sweat and filth, but of that day's shower. Even a wannabe serial killer invests in self-care.
> He submits to one of the velvety, musky balls sliding in his mouth
This would be a real winner if Rekki wasn't such a pussy and invested in actually masculinizing a character she insists is a man. I've said before her smut isn't that bad, but it's always the background information that's shit - such as her writing Jayce not knowing what crabs are, confusing ski-doos and jet skis, not knowing oceans are salty, her elf AU where the guy was outed for not hiding his ears, etc. Why is the beefy masculine man given balls and the 'skinny twink' isn't?
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> Musky scent of him
We know what men are when it comes to ball taste, I see.
> His dick fattening up as it nears full length and girth
Nothing like getting a deepthroat from a hot, muscular guy with nice balls. You sure this is a Scary Movie? Where's Brenda doing her scene-by-scene commentary?
> Then nestling in the narrow opening where his throat begins
Usually I have an issue with scenes like these because of the physics, but the way he's positioned allows it so I'll give it a pass.
> Smearing on that cock and colouring the taste of it
Does his blood taste feminine, or are we saving the masculinity for balls? Funny, that.
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> Swell of his ass
He barely has one. Selena Gomez' new concrete face has more shape than his ass.
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> He's huge - splitting Viktor to the point of delicious pain
We know. You wrote that he was big.
> Raze at his insides, bow out. Push back in again, stuffing his cunt to the brim
And you can all see this on Page 54. You can see the pooner version of Carmen Electra get stuffed like a Thanksgiving Turkey from a Hispanic Hog.
> Gathered as if he weighed a mere couple pounds
He barely weighs 90 lbs soaking wet. Compared to a guy who is probably nearing 300 lbs in solid muscle, yeah, he's going to weigh a couple pounds.
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> The fine line of hairs from Viktor's bush to his novel distends as that cock punches up into him
I guessed correctly: it's the 12 inch Hispanic Hog. I do find it amusing how he has more body hair than Jayce does. Jayce has cleanly shaved, heady, masculine balls and what does Viktor have? A 'skewered cunt' that looks like an overflowing enchilada.
> His cock is trapped between two thick fingers, slippery with slick
You are comparing that roid clit that can be trapped between two fingers to one that is giving you a belly bulge and has its own centre of gravity. Nigga, please.
> Swollen clit fat with testosterone
Jayce's dick vein is fatter and longer than that thing you want to call a dick. It will never not be funny. Look at that fanart and tell me that that is 'fat'.
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> Moans as he's spanked again, the man's palm getting coated by glistening stands of slick from his drooling cunt
Guess you could say his cunt is drooling like a dog, eh? I'll never forget that line for as long as I live.
> Each time Viktor is spanked, his cunt clenches
I'm surprised he isn't playing those bones like a Tebetan bone flute, because the fuck you mean ass? He has none.
> He's drilled without mercy
> Ghostfaced man fucks him faster
So he's already being drilled, he just turned the dial harder on 'HEAVY LOAD'. OK, then.
> Grating at the end of his cunt, kissing up against his cervix, demanding entrance
You won't be getting it. Cervixes are slammed shut like Israel's border. You aren't getting in unless you have the shekels, baby.
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> His legs part wide for the cock inside of him
I just realize that the fanart and this fanfic do not include Viktor's disability. Guess it's OK to erase it if you are a popular artist and author and will not be accused of ableism.
> He's fucked brutally into the ground
He was already being drilled, now he's going to make it far past Page 54 and tell Charlie Sheen there's already a dick bigger than his after all that Viagra.
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> His ass basically in Jayce's lap
More like he can fall right through it because he doesn't have one.
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> He knows it isn't broken
Know what else is suspiciously not broken? His spine or leg. It's magically normal in this AU. She won't be called out for it because she's a popular author and beta reader and they get diplomatic immunity.
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He's using a Nokia. You could probably block caller ID with a burner phone.
> Most sane people wouldn't want their partner's undergarments on their face
Most sane people don't pretend that this isn't anything but heterosexuality. You want Viktor to be seen as a man, yet you don't treat him as one. He's - again - a woman in every way except the pronouns, right down to the appearance. But go ahead and wipe that stale pussy juice on your forehead. That shit ain't masculine unlike those heady balls.

They have their aftercare talk and there's mention of a Polaroid. They were taking pictures of their scene and they absolutely love how it came out - Jayce there with all his masculine male power over the tiny, helpless trans man - and they want to use a gun next. A prop gun, of course - unless they want to go the Fujofrankenstein route and use a real gun up that coochie.
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> A hot tongue soothes over his swollen cock
That thing isn't even the size of his dorsal head, sweetie. You can't beat him in that masculine department.

The ONE thing I can give Rekki is that unlike the prior author I posted, she doesn't write Jayce like a beast with a big dick. Yes, he is more 'well-hung than hung' but he knows it's a scene and is still a sweetheart. Her smut scenes are solid and I actually liked a few that she wrote, trans character aside. I still know it's heterosexual but with a different flavour and that fanart cements that.
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> slick with semen that has dribbled out of him
So is that heady with male musk or does it taste feminine? Inquiring minds want to know.
> He envelops Viktor's cock in his mouth
Which isn't a hard thing to do. He isn't deepthroating anyone with that thing.

They talk more and cuddle in front of a romcom before Viktor falls asleep. Such a cute ending to something so hot, right? Have some of that musky ballwash for your Halloween.
Found this series of tweets and it 100% applies to the stuff I post here:
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Of course, it wouldn't be complete without shots coming from inside the house:
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Fujofrankenstein has come out with Chapter 3 of her failed public proposal fic. As to whether we will finally find out the reason for the split, your guess is as good as mine.
We ended the prior chapter with Viktor passing out due to his illness. This one starts with Jayce being there for him, looking 'good', with the scraggly beard and a worn hoodie. Jayce arrived due to being the sole emergency contact and he looks worse for wear because he traveled overnight via plane to get to San Francisco. Turns out Viktor has pneumonia and the antibiotics are working - but there is a catch. Jayce must be his caretaker because this True and Honest Man cannot take care of himself and needs a dog fancy maid. Viktor cries at how Jayce is so willing to be there for him despite his horrible treatment, even when this whole thing started over a public proposal that wasn't even agreed on. A chat over Kitchen Nightmares could have avoided this.

Jayce tells Cait and Vi that he is sorry for disappearing all of a sudden and tells his therapist that he has to take telehealth calls until the situation is over. He realizes that, as he looked at Viktor's prone body, he is still in love with him, and that there is a chance to work things out.

Viktor gets discharged with a whole pharmacy of medications, and Jayce is to be his caretaker. No mention of medical bills because if the pneumonia didn't get him, those insurance payments will. Viktor is also told he can't shower for a few days and must take sponge baths instead. Nothing like a stinky pooner with pneumonia.

When he gets the all-clear and they return to his apartment, Jayce remarks that his apartment is 'fucking depressing', being shades of Kardashian beige and none of his belongings being unpacked. Even the kitchen items are still in their boxes. There's a reference to 'Hangsaman', a classic book on mental illness (fitting) and The Haunting of Hill House., To show how well our lil dood is doing after this botched marriage proposal, his fridge is completely empty barring an expired milk carton. The pantry has stale granola bars and a large tin of coffee. Jayce orders him food and cooks him his mother's soup recipe, and when he spies him sleeping with his arms wrapped around himself, his heart lurches in his chest from love and affection (here I was hoping it was a heart attack).

When Viktor wakes up, he's too weak to feed himself so Jayce has to feed him like he's a baby. He has an internal monologue about being sorry for what he's done and for Jayce to 'take him home', even when this whole thing could have been avoided. It's drama for the sake of drama. Jayce goes to take a shower to get that man-stink off him when he hears Viktor knock on the wall. He jumps out, Viktor complains of chest pains, and he gives him his painkillers. Don't worry, it's not pain from a heart attack, just his lungs due to coughing so harshly. They have a moment where his towel falls off and his ass is sticking out but they laugh it off because tee-hee domesticity.

While Jayce is making his morning coffee, he notes that Viktor never took the time to enjoy the San Fran skyline, as if the streets filled with shit and closed businesses weren't a turn-off on their own. Jayce brings Viktor breakfast in bed, and he remarks that he's been eating unassisted for 30 years and that he's 'not going to choke on a piece of bread'. Jayce then gets into his therapy session with his therapist, and this unfolds:
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It's pretty obvious that this is more than just friendship. This was a marriage proposal gone wrong and a relationship based on mutual toxicity. Jayce literally could not exist without Viktor. His entire life revolved around this white man (and a half). Something to say about this racial dynamic that I just can't put my finger on.
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The therapist is 100% right here. Their relationship was never healthy; he was the very definition of buck broken, and by a pooner no less. Hard to top that.
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> Loathes those twelve inches
He doesn't loathes those other twelve inches HEYO
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> Be a man
> You have BPD and decide to enter a relationship with a trans man
> Get rejected in a restaurant over reasons that are never wholly explained
> Have an even worse spiral than Nick Rekeita
> Emotionally manipulate your ex to feel bad for you and open the door to a new relationship
You cannot tell me this isn't blackmail of some sort. Whatever place this dood has in this man's new world, it's going to occupy the same place as the old one: being the gravitational pull to a satellite that is only good for its resources. No, really. This whole relationship is as wholesome as the lamprey to the fish.
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Yeah you almost died from pneumonia and are so weak you are not to do any major exercise or activities, but that t-shot! You need it to be a Whole Man TM.
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Yeah you had a disease that can be contagious (especially if viral or bacterial) and nearly died from it, but hey, time to get down n dirty for those twelve inches of dick you missed. Priorities!
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This is as stupid as that one fic where they were fucking and forgot to turn the generators on in -40 degree weather. I don't think people with illnesses like that are in the mood for anything unless they make a full recover, t-shots notwithstanding.
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Three weeks in San Francisco should be held with the same weight as doing a military tour. You're lucky your groceries didn't get stolen, let alone your car.
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The funny thing is, their breakup could have been treated in the same way had Jayce asked Viktor about that marriage proposal. If he knew something was wrong, he'd pick up on it. No reason is given aside from a workplace dispute for such a drastic reaction. He 'sold out' to his rival company, but we don't find out why. Was it better pay and insurance? That'd be something to argue about. I don't think Cleo ever expects her audience to pick up on details like that.
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Reminder that Vi was ready to beat the shit out of a pooner for driving a Latino into a depression spiral. Hard to tell who'd be hate-criming whom.
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> Soul mates
And the brown one couldn't live without the white one and didn't have an identity of his own. La Raza is crying right now. Any Latino that reduces himself to THIS - and for a white trans man no less - should get every abuela's shoe thrown at them. How pathetic can you be? Man sold out his race harder than his ancestors did to the Spanish. Not to worry, he'll totes redeem himself by vowing to bring Viktor home. White blood really does hit different.

Genderspecials really do get off destroying marriages based on their fragile sense of self, especially in the context of religion. This is situated around 'Catholic guilt' and getting a straight man to admit that he's gay because his wife suddenly declared themselves a pooner after 13 years. You've seen similar tales in the Stinkditch thread; it hits different to see it in a 'creative' light.
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This is supposed to revolve around Catholic guilt, yet it seems the guilt here is not due to Catholicism but due to a woman not wanting to accept she is one. This thing is centered around a woman having dysphoria while shoving a giant vibrator up her vagina, which, if you've been following these people as I have, is par the course.
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> Its size still intimidating
Is it as big as the Hispanic Hog? If not, I don't wanna hear about it.
> Until it hits something that almost makes you shriek
Either it's the g-spot or the cervix. Maybe the latter. Should've used more lube.

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Did you know that you, as a woman, don't have to wear makeup, jewelry, or dresses, and can just go as you are? That jewelry is gender neutral and that both sexes can wear it? This whole, "I never liked being grouped with women, therefore I'm a man" is both a confirmation of how limited troon ideology is and a critique of it; to be a woman, one must wear dresses, skirts and bracelets - to be a man is to repudiate those things. It's the most sexually regressive thing to exist, but here we are.
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> The imposter, the cosmic error of you lying here, in a soft and warm bed
Nature didn't make a mistake. You just think being a woman makes you weak and inferior, and that testosterone and male clothing will rectify that issue. How disgustingly misogynist.
> You felt a crack in your chest being called missus
You'll feel an even bigger one once you discover no other man will take you seriously as a man or will treat you as one. You are just easy pussy. Remember that.
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> Like a man starved
Cliché.
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> His cock has taken up more space
Let that be a metaphor: his genitalia takes up space, yours does not, despite you insisting they are both the same. Men occupy space; you beg for permission to enter it. You will never be seen as a man.
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> The name of the woman he thinks he married
Notice the choice of words here; he doesn't NEED to think because you ARE a woman. Breaking down crying and refusing to make yourself known in the bedroom, or anywhere, by taking up space is such a masculine thing to do.
> Be a good girl for me. Where's the lube?
Why do you need lube when he's squirting like a faucet?
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> You're getting your guts manually jumbled
Which hole? Because it would help to know which one the gorilla punchers are going in.
> You aren't sure he knows exactly how it feels
> You've tried explaining it
So the author lets it slip that Jayce, thanks to 'Catholic guilt' is fine anally fingering a woman but doesn't want to be anally fingered himself. This is supposed to be an M/M fic, and yet the masculine top doesn't want to act like an actual ay man. Unintentional homophobia, who knew.
> He pushes the tip of himself inside
Which fucking hole? His ass or his 'front hole'?
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> It stops being hers, too
So he pretends he's male when he gets an orgasm? Am I reading that correctly?
> He said that you shouldn't worry about it, that he didn't need it
> Realize only now how close you were to his only other entrance just minutes ago
See point above: this is supposed to be M/M but the masculine top doesn't want to act like a gay man and accept his prostate getting tickled. You mean to tell me he has 'Catholic Guilt', but will accept having an Elliot Page-style marriage? Huh?
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> Cum leaks out of your front hole
Sexy. Meanwhile the author can use 'vaginal sex' as a tag just fine.
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Right. You just won't accept anal play because that's emasculating, but you can accept your wife becoming your new 'husband'. If you asked me ten years ago whether I'd ever cop for gay men, I'd call you retarded. Yet here I am pointing out how weirdly homophobic this sounds and I am the last person to ever use that word in a sentence. Progshits really are their worst enemy.

From the same author listed above, she has decided to make a multi-chapter fic on the woes of being a woman. I think I'd rather listen to PissedOffLawyer's crash outs.
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> Silent as a mouse
Damn, we're already starting with the aspect of our dood-to-be not wanting to take up space. There is no one more misogynist than a future FTM.
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> She had to watch him fall apart
Sounds like you're expected to do all the emotional labour for him. Which sex is expected to do that, again?
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So that's his 'deadname'. Calling a Slavic pooner by their deadname is as deadly as reminding them of the Red Army Rapes or the Circassian genocide.
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> I know a puppy when I see one
Never beating the dog allegations.

I hope that Jayce decided to jump off a building tall enough this time, because if he fucked up, he'd have to live the rest of his life as a cripple who failed. It's gotta be more than 80 feet, man.
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> They lamented not being the same sex
Here we go. Is this not a casual admission that you are NOT the same sex? I thought trans men were 100% men? What's this, then?
> As everyone is wont to do when two people of opposite genders spent any amount of time together
I see what you're doing here: you're remarking that any man or woman gets shipped together when two men have to be denied again and again that they are not romantic. This irritates you. Forget the fact it's the opposite and you will already be drawing two men with their tongues up mouths and in asses as soon as you see them together.
> They were judgemental. Something about the closeness being inappropriate
Why would they be judgemental? If they have a problem about it, stop being a mouse and say something!
> I'm a guy, you're a girl. We like each other a lot.
"He was a guy, she was a girl. Can it get any more obvious?"
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I wonder how they're going to act at a woman, who didn't want to be humiliated as a straight woman, deciding to 'become a guy' and be 'gay', when they're still in a straight relationship. Spicy Straight Slav has a nice ring to it.
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> Egg hasn't cracked
> Has a litany of mental health problems
> Undiagnosed mood disorder
Wow we really are ticking off all the boxes.
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> I can't be in charge tonight
When have you been in charge at all?

This is where we see our lil egg begin to hunt for gender affirming clothes without our himbo noticing. Sure, he has questions, but our egg who is addicted to Reddit doesn't tell him. No one has bothered to tell this author there is nothing stopping women from buying men's clothes - and indeed, they do just for the thicker material or for the make - and it doesn't make you any less female if you do. Basing gender on clothing is shoving it in a box, something YOU say us cissies do.
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First it's clothes, then it'll be trips to PP for t-shots. It'll be shorter hair, different tones of voice and mannerisms to be more 'masc', and a man will have to contend with whether he's gay or not now that his wife is now his 'husband'.
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Right. Better buy bigger shoes because you can be clocked by those tiny ass feet. Remember that fic that had Jayce clocking Viktor as female from his femur length? Oh yeah. Pepperidge Farm remembers.
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> I do not know how to talk about it
AKA 'I'm actually a man and you are a gay man and you just have to deal with it' trope.
> He'd find her totally engrossed in her phone or laptop and seemingly none too happy about it
Let me guess: she's browsing Reddit and is not too pleased at all the hoops she has to jump through to become her 'true self'. Never fails.
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> There's no reason to believe she's cheating
Who the fuck would she be cheating WITH? Doodle Dmitri? Bitch would be having mental breakdowns because he'd have a dick, too.
> Stormy look to her eyes
AKA the 'I'm angry you have a dick and I don't' look.
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> She's gorgeous! Very pretty! But I wouldn't date her
Might I ask what race this woman is? If she's black that would definitely fit the bill. I also have a hard time determining who the fuck is talking and about what.
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> Pride pins on her lapels
Of course. I bet she has them on her bumper stickers and plasters them on her windows, along with the 'Protect the Dolls' t-shirts. Your butch lesbian who worships the gock.
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> His wife clamming up, discomforted
Misgendered by the TSA, you hate to see it. Notice how the passport gave her dysphoria but not the pat-down.
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So Jayce notices that his wife is wearing 'masc' clothes and thinks nothing of it, while our lil egg gets more and more clammed up at things like passports and birth certificates reminding her that she is female. It is every pooner's worst nightmare shoved into a fic.
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> I can't live without you
If this is said by a clingy man in his 20s, RUN BITCH, RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
> Fluid building up in her lungs, needles in her arm, and yet still holding his hand anyway
*Labour by Paris Paloma plays*
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"If you find my stuff OOC SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M BEING WHIMSICAL!" Girl you are just writing about yourself. Wear that ugly-ass plaid all you like. It won't make you male - and your diary entries make shitty fics.

That Littlest Pet Shop: Omegaverse Edition has seen an update.
Jayce gets a letter from the adoption center that Viktor is about to start his heats soon, which causes Viktor to have a total breakdown. He shakes in place and begins to silently cry at the idea of being mated, to which Jayce insists he won't do that and that 'there are options'.
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> He forced himself to stop and think
> Promptly admits he'd find a way to take advantage if he could because the omega is beautiful
Wow, so progressive. He didn't just buy him at a human pet shop, or anything.
> Even his spotty past was enough to drive him wild
"Yeah I know you have trauma from being raped en masse by alphas but you're really hot and I can't wait to fuck you"
> There was no closer bond in existence, both Alpha and omega being able to sense more than pheromones alone
Notice how alpha is capitalized but omega isn't. They get innate privilege in language, ffs.
> It defied all logic
Just like this fic, eh?
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> Attend to every omega in their household
Nice, so they practice polygamy, too. They really are Muslims without Islam.
> He'd just recovered from the prior fragility
He's just so pale and fragile and helpness, yo 😥

After smoothing out the letter, Jayce ponders why Viktor acted the way he did. He figures it's because he has to deal with heat ruts alone vs having them literally fucked out of him. He thinks he is being cruel for NOT promising to help with his heat ruts - even though that wasn't the issue brought up - and he wonders if Viktor will ever see the difference between him and other Alphas (the answer is no).
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> Insists he is 'not like other Alphas'
> Openly says that he has given Viktor 'too much freedom' and that it violates the biological order as Alphas are meant to lead and omegas are too stupid and weak to live as autonomous beings
Oh you're sooooooooooooo progressive, sounding like a borderline sexist giving their reasons why women shouldn't vote or go to college or have their own bank accounts, but with omegas. Same exact reasons.

Jayce drinks his mug of sweetmilk and wonders why his slave, er, omega pet, didn't get any for himself. To that I say: the answer is right there in front of you; you are the alpha and are meant to be served. Omegas eat last because they are second class citizens. You are welcome.

Jayce gets another letter, this time for a lecture at the Academy, because his role now is to do politics from behind the scenes and educate others rather than sit at a desk all day. He asks Viktor if he'd be interesting in going, and he agrees. When the day comes, Jayce is all giddy setting his lectures up - he mostly lectures on the Hexgates - and while walking to campus he get interrupted by enthusiastic students. The irony here is that Jayce is asked questions on the basis of HIM being an individual, yet no one pays any mind to Viktor. All he is is his mate and that's his sole purpose in life.

The lecture goes smoothly and most of his time is taken up answering student questions, but during that time he gets that Alpha Male Mode when Viktor is there in the audience. He feels the need to 'protect' him even though nothing is happening to him and no one is paying him any mind. Ekko appears at the end and he was the one who popped the Chemtech question - and how it could be used to power the Hexgates - and the strangest thing is that the sole black character manages to treat the human slave with more respect and humanity than anyone else.

Viktor has another treatment session with Vi and that goes well, and he trusts her more and more. There's a twist though: he apparently went Houdini during this treatment and Vi snapped, overturning the massage table and she and Jayce have an Alpha stand off where you wonder who is going to throw the first punch. Viktor is hiding under the table and Jayce asks if he wants some time alone, to which he responds yes. He goes back out to see Vi, who is pallid from all those Alpha pheromones, and she says that her sister Jinx had presented as an omega and the people in prison were all bragging about the omegas they fucked. She's not mad at Viktor, see - she's mad at Silco and what he did to her, and not the society that caused such societal discrimination and objectification in the first place. We're not talking about that.

Turns out this whole thing was because Jayce didn't tell Vi that Viktor's back was fucked up from other alphas, and she had a righteous fit of rage at how alphas act. This makes her the sole character who actually has a problem with those societal dynamics in this story.
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> The proper thing to do was to take advantage of the mindless obedience and order him to dress
Guys, guys! He's progressive he's Not Like Other Alphas. He just wants to use his authority ordained by God(s) and Biology to make this fragile omega do what he wants!
> I should've let her know what a state it's in
> I'm your alpha it's my job to know
So why didn't you tell her, then, if it's your job to know?
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So they really do have a cat. Thought it was a nickname. It's rather sad and funny how actual pets have more rights than omegas. You can abuse an omega all you like, but never a cat. They really ARE Muslims!
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He took that 'take care of him properly' as a sexual command, and when Viktor interpreted that as such, Jayce retaliates despite thinking that an omega broke the rules and should be punished. If he doesn't want to be viewed as a 'knothead', he should stop acting like one. It's not on the level of, 'I should have broken your ankles to keep you with me' but it's still toxic masculinity.
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> It would be a lot easier if the man would just speak up
He literally can't. He's selectively mute due to trauma, you retard.
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Viktor assumes that Jayce is upset that he can't mate with him, and he is right in a sense. Jayce INSISTS he won't do the things other alphas do, but still feels the need to express his authority and insist that it's his right because he is an alpha and they have natural-born rights. He knew he should have told Vi about the scars but he didn't, and Viktor assumed he'd be raped in retaliation. This isn't a romance at all - it's a horrorshow.
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> Physical punishment is the best way to teach omegas a lesson
It's called the 'rule of thumb': it's perfectly fine to beat them provided the rod you use is no thicker than your thumb. Otherwise, a cattle whip can also be used provided you don't tear their back open.
> He found himself swearing vengeance on the alphas who hurt him
You just said that you support corporal punishment provided it 'doesn't hurt too much' for disobedience. Who the fuck are you?
> Not under the mere whims of biology
Says the man who enjoys all the privilege of society and right to a nursemaid, maid, nymph, and virgin (he can have a whole household of 'em, if he wants!) thanks to his biology. He also said earlier that omegas were 'too stupid' to be left to their own devices. He's the very definition of a male feminist who would choke a woman the moment they disagreed with him.
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"It's your choice, bro. We believe in choice feminism around here. You are just expected to have a baby and if you don't you're defective. My biology requires my alpha male penis to impregnate your silly, fragile omega uterus. No it doesn't sound like Sharia Law or sexist, it's omegaverse and it's Just Biology, Bro! These affronts to biology merit consideration!'

We are halfway through this and I do not see how this is supposed to be romantic. It's not even horrific enough to be considered Stockholm Syndrome. It's just an author who thinks writing a smutfic based on The Help, White Edition would work. It's too bad omegas are not spiritually black because there are some slave owners alphas whose asses need to get riddled with bullets.

Interesting developments today: someone sent AO3 Abuse an email about an underage fic that featured RPF of an actual child. This was their response:
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The full email:
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Muh slippery slope:
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"4chan but woke" is a very accurate statement.
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