Favorite historical one-liners

[Keystone]

"A republic, if you can keep it." -- Benjamin Franklin

 

[Franjevina]

" I haven't lost an arm, brother. It's right over there. " - Alessio Cortez

 

[Dante Alighieri]

"Please tell me you're all Republicans."

~ Ronald Reagan to a roomful of surgeons while being wheeled into the operating room after being shot and wounded by John Hinkley Jr.

"We're all Republicans today."

 

[MAPK phosphatase]

Englishman: "Why didn't you whip the Confederates in sixty days, as you said you would?"
Henry Ward Beecher: "Because we found we had Americans to fight this time, not Englishmen."

 

[AnOminous]

"Please tell me you're all Republicans."

~ Ronald Reagan to a roomful of surgeons while being wheeled into the operating room after being shot and wounded by John Hinkley Jr.

Fun fact: they weren't.

"We're all Republicans today."

Joseph Giordano, a Democrat (and head of the surgical team).

 

[Judge Holden]

"My greatest dream is a world without jews, negros, and eskimos, and a world where all young men have a government appointed girlfriend to give unto them the carnal ecstasy they deserve"
- Mister Rogers's final sermon circa 2002 -

 

[No Exit]

i came here to post "Merde" said by Pierre Cambrone when the British asked for the Old Guard to surrender after Waterloo, but when i looked to verify it {he is rumored either to have said "Merde!" which literally means "shit" but can be loosely translated as "go to hell," or "The Guard dies but does not surrender"} it ends up he didn't say either one of those, and he later said if he would have said either one of them he would have died.

well. . . .

Merde.

I came in here to post this one and now my day is ruined.

 

[Sable]

I came in here to post this one and now my day is ruined.

If it's any consolation, he went to he grave insisting he never said those things.

 

[Spl00gies]

"Eat the hat."

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

"If you don't want to use the army, I should like to borrow it for a while."

Abe Lincoln telling George McClellan to stop fucking up the war.

 

[HarveyMCR]

The Spartan response of "Molon labe" to the Persians.

Spartans response of “if” to Alexander the Great

 

[Easterling]

General Herbet Hortio Kitchener 1898 the battle of omdurman in Sudan after having defeated the mahdist army of 60,000 tribesmen without losing a single soldier (becasue they had maxim guns) "we gave them a good dusting"

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

“British naval tradition consists of rum, sodomy, and the lash.” Disputed.

 

[Frozen Fishsticks]

"I've never seen so many god damned Indians!" - General George Armstrong Custer

 

[Billy "the Bot" Bobson]

Spartans have a lot of great one-liners, what being the namesake of "laconic phrase".

"Such splendid Womens Quarters!" -in response to someone boasting about his cities walls

Alternatively : "It is better to have a wall of Men" - Lycurgus on why Sparta did not have walls

Everyone remembers "If" but I like the first half just as much.

Phillip II of Macedon sent a letter to the Spartans asking "if I were to arrive in Sparta, would it be as friend or conqueror?"

They responded "Neither"

 

[neverendingmidi]

"We have met the enemy, and they are ours" Oliver Hazard Perry. Great one liner, perfect middle name.

 

[TFT-A9]

"We have met the enemy, and they are ours" Oliver Hazard Perry. Great one liner, perfect middle name.

"Hazard" as a middle name is like winning the name lottery. Might as well have Badass Motherfucker as a middle name.

 

[MrJokerRager]

"Death to all Jews" - Pewdiepie

 

[drtoboggan]

"One of us had to go."
-Oscar Wilde, referring to the wallpaper in the room where he died.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

“Why not join it, Morris?"
- Oscar Wilde to William Morris after he told Oscar that there was a conspiracy of silence on his book and how the public ignored him.