Ummm... that's quite an interesting post there Chris. I'm not entirely sure what prompted this sudden flurry of activity after Chris has lain dormant for so long, but it's just as amusing (and confusing) as anything he's posted in the past. I for one appreciate getting this little pseudo-philosophical look into Chris' autistic mind. So many thoughts, so many comments. Where to begin...
Well, first off, as Kim said, Chris seems to be regurgitating the tropes he learned from 80s and 90s cartoons. We're just picking on him because we're jealous that he's oh so much more unique and successful than we ever will be. Because, you know, we have careers, bills, significant others and lives of our own, while he's in his 30s, single and still living at home with his hoarder mom, collecting Legos. One would hope he internalizes Kim's advice here, but considering his past track record... well...
Fatty's also still hung up about people "misusing" gay to refer to something that's lame. I've always found that to be an interesting fixation. I know bullies used to get a rise out of Chris by calling him gay, and at one point he believed he had to do... weird things to "proove" he isn't gay. Still, with his new tomgirlism, I wouldn't be surprised if he's been called 'gay' (or worse) in real life at this point. Indeed, perhaps that was part of what set him off here. We all know he wants 'gay' to go back to meaning happy, damnit!
And he's still hung up on Brittney Spears. All of his celebrity references are actually rather dated, as if he's a time capsule of pop culture (well, the more boring, mediocre, mainstream aspects of pop culture; Chris seems to be stuck in the 90s but I somehow doubt we'll ever see Chris reference NIN, Tupac, Kurt Cobain, Sinead O'Coner, The Crow, Shirley Manson, etc). I don't think anyone is "bullying" Brittney Spears. I just don't care for her music, nor do I think she's talented. I don't find her attractive either. Not back then and certainly not now. Fairuza Balk was more my thing back in the 90s.
Chris' odd choices of capitalization, creative misspellings, and lack of grammar really start to show about half way through. Normally, when people choose to capitalize words, its either for emphasis or because its a proper noun (at least in English). I don't believe that to be the case here. I think he's genuinely capitalizing words at random with no intention of emphasizing particular words or ideas. That or he's in such histrionics that he is emphasizing every other bloody word...
Then we get to the point where he starts blaming God again. That's... for starters, I don't think anyone, in the history of mankind, other than Chris, has ever worshipped "Emmanuelle," and there are some pretty bizarre religions out there already. Like Scientology, or Jehovah's Witnesses, or Aum Shinrikyo. Considering his views on sex and women I'm not surprised, but I'd think he could do slightly better than made-for-TV softcore pornos from the 90s (remember my earlier comment about him being stuck in that decade? Yeah, who knew his parents could afford skinemax back then).
He also not only managed to misspell Buddha as well, but also manages to still completely misunderstand the entire concept of Buddhism. No Buddhist anywhere worships the Buddha (technically the Buddha Shakyamuni in this particular case, but if he doesn't understand how to even spell Buddha, that might be a little too advanced for him). Mahayana Buddhists sometimes pray to Bodhisattvas, who sometimes take on aspects from local folk deities, and Tibetan Buddhism is filled with wrathful gods, demons and hungry ghosts, but no Buddhist would claim to worship gods (or demons, spirits or anything else). The closest to a higher power that Chris is envisioning would be the Indian gods, particularly Brahma and Indra, but even that's a stretch.
Also, interesting that he doesn't include Allah on that list. Granted, English speaking Muslims tend to use the English 'God' and the Arabic 'Allah' interchangeably, but I doubt Chris would be that savvy. It seems rather odd to exclude the second largest religion while including mention of Zeus, but then Chris has expressed antipathy for Islam in the past so it stands out. Hindus, Sikhs, Taoists, Bahá'ís, Zoroastrians, Wiccans, Rodnovers, Theosophists, Yezidis, and followers of Bön, Shinto, Ætsæg Din, Candomblé, Adyghe Habze, Voudon, Santo Daime, Romuva, Falun Gong and other faiths are completely overlooked.
Interestingly, for someone so biased towards Christianity, Chris exhibits some startlingly un-Christian ideas, and I'm not just talking about him advising people to fight against God here. For one, he seems hesitant to commit to the idea that Jesus was the son of God. That's... pretty much one of the
only things you need to do to be a Christian. He also seems more attracted to a sort of vague, non-denominational form of pantheism, perhaps in the hopes that loosening his standards will make him more appealing to women of other religions. It's not a terrible idea in theory, as Christians are only about 30% of the world's population, with the remaining 70% following other religions, or even no religion. Of course, in the US (you know, where Chris actually lives) about 75% of the population adheres to Christianity, and followers of some other religions like Zoroastrians and Druze don't allow their followers to marry outside of their community.
Finally, its probably worth mentioning that Chris' views on war haven't really changed since that hilarious WWII essay. He seems to equate all warfare with bullying, not realizing that most wars have much deeper issues at heart. If it was so simple to resolve wars, then this Israel-Palestine thing would have ended decades ago, the Rwandan genocide never would have happened, and Lincoln could have avoided the American Civil War altogether! It's remarkable to me that a 30 something could maintain such a naive and childlike worldview.
I'm really curious as to what is setting him off. It can't just be the forums, can it? We're always saying stuff about him. Something has to be happening behind the scenes even if it's just stress from dealing with buyers.
Heh, I'd like to know myself. It could very well be that Chris reads this forums. Considering the amount of activity that's been going on here (Skyraider pulling Chris' homework, the revelation that he probably wasn't on honor roll, the constant critiques of his dubious "artwork," his various FB posts) these forums could have been the catalyst for Chris' latest rants. Then again, he's got a lot going on in his life that we aren't privy to. No doubt the whole eBay situation has been causing him stress as well, as has his LoveQuest on OKCupid. So who knows...
= $760
