[February 2021 - ????] DSP Tries It: Divinity: Original Sin II

[Comma]

Let's use this thread for the Divinity: Original Sin II playthrough, in which DSP:

1. fucking sucks
2. gets his hand held by chat and have people send him money with gameplay tips attached to them
3. complains about how difficult and (therefor) stoopid the game is.



Predictions say he'll need 100+ hours to complete the game because he plays at a snail's pace due to him:

1. fucking sucking at the game
2. playing with a controller
3. pausing the gameplay constantly to go on rants about the game's difficulty, doing shout-outs and reading chat so they can play the game for him

As I'm typing this, he has been on the same screen for literally 15 30 minutes, asking chat for help, and then being frustrated he's not getting a clear answer.


-EDIT- At least this playthrough is providing some gold dust:

Why am I poisoned!?

Some NPC recognizes DSP:

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

15 minutes leveling up one character. Only 3 more to go after this one

 

[JimiHendrix]

can't believe this is such a train wreck it gets its own thread.

but are people even gonna use this or just post in the main thread? i need to know where to put my brilliant and insightful commentary on the fat man.

 

[Comma]

This is like watching someone with Parkinson's Disease trying to thread a really, really small needle.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Phil has done more than 90 minutes of "work" today, and in that time has done 2 fights, one of which he rage quit.

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

This is agonizing.

*reads skill*
What do you guys think?
*lean*
That sounds like it could be pretty good huh?
*chat suggests something completely different*
Oh you guys think I should do that?
*another lean*

 

[JimiHendrix]

what is going on on stream right now is the worst thing to ever happen in my life.

 

[Swallow Moon]

February 2021 - ????

With how salty he's been this stream, expecting it to go past February sounds just a little

 

[JimiHendrix]

he is not finishing this game. if this is the average, he has streamed this for at least 4 hours, done 3 fights, rq 1 of them and that's it. that's what he's done in four hours. every day i get closer to the noose.

edit: phil just said he never claimed to play DnD.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Phil bringing a new meaning to the abbreviation CRPG - Chat RPG. They might as well be the ones playing it.

 

[BepsiLight]

All the tips from these streams should be split amongs chat, they're the ones playing the game.
Also whenever he's told to do something his reponse is "i don't know how"

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Has anyone been keeping track of how long he's been in the menu? It must be at least half hour by now. What do you guys think?

 

[FormerPro]

I think he's been in the level up menu for 40 minutes at this point. Frightening behaviour. Phil mouthing off about how he's in a catch 22 because people complained he didn't learn Dark Souls mechanics and now people are complaining that he's taking his time in the menus. Like there isn't a possible middle ground between NOT READING ANY OF THE TUTORIALS AT ALL and LITERALLY TAKING AN HOUR TO LEVEL UP YOUR PARTY AS YOU READ EVERY OPTION TO CHAT SO THEY CAN TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

Also whenever he's told to do something his reponse is "i don't know how"

Pigspeak for "tip/cheer again with instructions."

Has anyone been keeping track of how long he's been in the menu? It must be at least half hour by now. What do you guys think?

Just under 40 minutes. I checked on the mirror.

 

[JimiHendrix]

it's been like a fucking hour and a half on just leveling up. im fucking dying over here.

 

[Mr. Brown]

I thought this was a meme but the last 5 mins of his stream is him reading chat

 

[Comma]

Has anyone been keeping track of how long he's been in the menu? It must be at least half hour by now. What do you guys think?

38 minutes...

 

[Dead Memes]

Phil is only finishing the game if his paypigs are willing to front the cash required to hold his hand through every fight, menu, and skill.

This is either his ultimate grifting game, or one of his saltiest and most pathetic.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

He really doesn't realize that the lengths he goes to in order to avoid embarrassment are infinitely more embarrassing than just hitting his head against the wall.

 

[Swallow Moon]

Elemental Affinity: Stand in an element to cast spells of that element for less.

If I do that, I'm gonna need you guys' help to understand it. It seems like that's gonna be tough to figure out where to stand to get those elemental buffs, right?

He didn't realize he was standing in water earlier when his cursor was hovering over it and explaining that it was water. Or that the oil he was standing in for a different fight was flammable. Even the simplest terrain effects are too much for Phil's brain.

He just got over-encumbered because he has been picking up useless trash on one character and leaving the other character inventories empty.
Edit: The notion that equipped items don't contribute to inventory weight is ridiculous and completely new to him, despite The Elder Scrolls doing that too.