Finding ADF: The Game

[Morbid Boredom]

"$72? Hell, ADF might surrender for that much!"

Gibson finds a few hand grenades and gives them to 101-WU7.

"Anybody here speak Tumblr?" said the Scout.

"I can read it." Gibson mutters.

The first page is nothing but ADF's usual complaining about the hand he was dealt, projected onto misfits and revolutionaries the world over, the next couple of pages are a glossary of newspeak terms to be imposed on the people of Portland. The final page is a short list of (hopefully) current passwords for checkpoints. Shibboleths abound.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

(there's a lot of power gaming going on so I might as well) Hatchetman420 tires of picking the lock/waiting for the dm to make a saving throw, smashes the window of the Church Van in with his trusty hatchet and successfully hotwires the car. He calls in Alpha Team to rendezvous so they can head to their next point. He ignores the ringing of the car alarm and searches for something to huff before the rest of the team arrives

 

[lolwut]

101-WU7 thanks Gibson for his contribution and stores the grenades on his belt.
"I propose we find these checkpoints and neutralize them. Eventually they will lead us to our objective."

 

[Night Terror]

Ensuring his walkie-talkie is on and ready to receive transmissions from his leader at any time, Darky decides to go for a bit of a wander, see if there's anything of value lying around. "Lemme know when we're moving, I just want to have a poke around, see if there's anything decent left behind... maybe a wild tranny hiding in a bin or something..." he informs his leader, before lifting the lid of a nearby dumpster with the blade of his shovel.

 

[Randall Fragg]

With the van opened, Derrick climbs into the passenger's seat, rolls down the window, and leans out with the Barrett, ready to do a drive-by on some trannys. First he hands Hatchet some brake fluid to huff, and starts blaring "Tilt-A-Whirl" over the van radio.
"WOOOP WOOOP, LET'S GET THE FAGBASHING VAN ROLLING TO SAVE AMERICA!"

 

[SpessCaptain]

Hah, only spergs react to old shit like that. I laugh and pat Trannykiller on the back.

Alright Alpha Squad, fall in for futher orders.

On the map we're currently near 24 and NE Marine. What we're gonna do is go to Rosewood, bunker down in any building we can fortify (preferably the comcast building in NE Fremont and NE Sandy) and wait for charlie squad to arrive.

Intel also says there might be an enemy FOB a few miles down highway 205. If we can capture that, then rosewood is out of the question.

Ziltoid, you're running point. Stay hidden and keep contact with me if you see any tangos. Don't fire unless fired upon or you think your target is manageable. If heavily engaged find heavy cover and wait for the rest of the squad to support.

Trannykiller, you're vanguard. Any ambushers Ziltoid misses you gotta mow down. Me and scary will be close behind to provide support and medical.

Hatchetman and Derrick Dee, you're rear guard. Intel says there might be an FOB down highway 205. If there is, we'll capture it, hatchet can commandeer vehicles and Derrick can provide support for you.

Any questions will be answered in this communique. LET'S MOVE OUT SQUAD!

• @Dynastia attempts to ruffle Pander's jimmies, it is highly ineffective. He joins Ziltoid's scouting where he stocks up his arsenal.
• 
  
• @lolwut groans about how his tomahawk is underpowered and wants it to become OP. He then plants a bomb underneath a damaged truck, he spends a while just looking around MacGuyver-like to see what he should do next until Gibson lobs him a grenade - thankfully still with its pins in.
• @GREEDY FIREMAN has a chat with @Phil Ken Sebben to see how to make his BOOM BETTER, with this knowledge he introspects and humbles at the heavy smokestacks from far away. Afterwards he shuffles through the files, unfourtunatelty no one here knows tumblr and the information is sent back to Stryker forces to be translated.
• @Spooky_Scary scavenges the area and finds a USB stick it contains one song:
• Spoiler: The Song
• @hurrhurrhurr goes around looking for a car: He finds a car, though seems out of disrepair, it will not go far. He knows he can also find a vehicle at the recently taken over car lot and goes there for the Church Van. Being an entitled little PC he moves ahead from the comcast building.
• @Darky's intrusive thoughts send him into a strange trance, possibly fueled with drugs, he is out of it.
• @Randall Fragg celebrates his success and joins hatchetman420 in his Van to comcast.
• @Morbid Boredom spitefully goes to the car lot and picks up some fuel cans.

Alpha Team moves out:

@Ziltoid goes ahead as Recon to scout the 205 while Trannykiller88 paces right behind him, the rest of the squad remains under the Bridge keeping his eyes on Ziltoid's flanks as he scouts around.

Ziltoid has spotted three enemy targets, though he is not so sure if that is every hostile in the area. The place seems to be a temporary base which contains four tents and large stockpile of vegan burgers. He retreats back to the squad in case he's found, during so he nonchalantly goes off into a sociopathic bend and breaks into a car lot. You have successfully taken over the Thrifty Car Lot!

Because the Squad's have not been alerted to ADF they are currently hidden, you are all safe for now.

Alpha Leader @ ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ Pander, what will be your plan? You have the element of surprise.

Beta Team stays at the Parking Lot, still waiting for a direction from @Morbid Boredom.

If I've missed something tell me. I might also make you trust me with dice rolls because they fuck up the formatting.

 

[Arkangel]

Ziltoid suggests to his squad that they avoid driving on the main roads as to decrease the chances of being seen by ADF's henchmen.

He also suggests that the squads monitor the cities bicycle paths. Portland is a very bike-friendly city and ADF has an autistic affinity for bikes even though he can't ride them.

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Once hm420 arrives at Comcast he starts making Flakka in the bath room to place in nearby dumpsters of restaurants so ADF will be easier to spot running around in traffic butt naked.

 

[Night Terror]

Darky stumbles around in his drug-induced stupor. While his thoughts and actions make perfect sense to him, to everyone else he seems to just be prodding things with his shovel and mumbling to himself. After a while he shuffles back, murmuring at his squad. He seems to be asking if they're still alive.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Derrick climbs into a parking garage and uses his scope to scout a nearby bike path for any hostiles.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

Darky stumbles around in his drug-induced stupor. While his thoughts and actions make perfect sense to him, to everyone else he seems to just be prodding things with his shovel and mumbling to himself. After a while he shuffles back, murmuring at his squad. He seems to be asking if they're still alive.

"Everyone's fine for now, just waiting on Gibson to get back. And please take it easy on those happy pills, we don't need you crashing on us."

 

[Morbid Boredom]

The Parking lot? We went with alpha to the rental place.

 

[SpessCaptain]

The Parking lot? We went with alpha to the rental place.

Thats the rental place. I mixed up some words.

 

[Morbid Boredom]

Thats the rental place. I mixed up some words.

My apologies for being

Gibson fills some gas tanks and brings them back to Beta team.


Beta, we're taking two vehicles.

Mike, You're driving the first car
Phil Ken Sebben, can you get some armor on these vehicles?
Stormrooster, check out what's west of our position.
Darky - You're driving the second car

 

[Sanic]

@Valiant

Can I get Charlie Team Recon, for the speed we need? '_'7

---------------------

Name: Blanic

Position: Recon

Character Bio: Blanic is super fast and does whatever people tell him to because thinking is hard.

Weapons: Speed

--------------------

EDIT: Also, is this Beta Team's theme song?

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

Stormrooster, check out what's west of our position.

On this side of the river it's just a big parking lot until you reach N.E. 92nd Drive. Past that are several distribution centers that seem strangely busy considering what's happening.

I crossed the river at 92nd and circled back. On N.E. Colfax there's a sporting goods store that has a fabrication shop we can use to modify the vehicles. Closer to I205 is a storage rental place we can check for supplies and weapons if you're feeling lucky. I know 1o1-WU7 was hoping to find a big gun to mount on one of the trucks.

 

[lolwut]

Without orders or any tasks in obvious need of doing (or exploding), 101-WU7 defaults to his baseline behavior protocols and rolls his /tg/ standard-issue d20 to let fate decide his actions:

"I need to get to the moon."

[OOC EDIT: For reference, here's the list 101-WU7 rolls on when playing with his d20.]

Spoiler

1) Give in to despair at being expendable cannon fodder.
2) Mulligan. Re-roll, you scrub.
3) The DM probably didn't see your shit roll. Pretend nothing happened.
4) Destroy something beautiful.
5) Make small-talk with squadmates (small-talk module sold separately).
6) You're a demoman. Make some explosives.
7) You're a demoman. Make something explode.
Snack time!
9) Consult the manual. Any manual.
10) Discover the meaning of life. Tell no one.
11) Go rogue and be the hero.
12) Go rogue and be the villain.
13) Watch Cop Dog.
14) Do something useful like checking your equipment.
15) Work on having a personality.
16) Conquer the moon.
17) Scavenge for useful items.
1 Patrol the area.
19) Begin writing your memoirs on life as a cyber-clone.
20) Achieve self-awareness and start a family.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

My apologies for being

Gibson fills some gas tanks and brings them back to Beta team.


Beta, we're taking two vehicles.

Mike, You're driving the first car
Phil Ken Sebben, can you get some armor on these vehicles?
Stormrooster, check out what's west of our position.
Darky - You're driving the second car

Phil scavenges around and manages to find some old cold war tank armor conveniently left behind in a wrecking yard. It's a little pitted with rust and has a gaping hole in one plate large enough to stick your head through but it should work. Lights a "Heart of Courage" and casually throws it over his shoulder as he saunters away trying for that cool "walking away from the explosion without looking" bit you see in movies.

Instead of massive explosions, it just knocks over a pile of old Buicks onto another pile of old Chevys. Phil shrugs and gets the armor back to base and starts welding it together.

 

[Night Terror]

Darky hops behind the wheel. He's ready. At his leader's order, his team will drive off into the night, ready to slay that fat bastard ADF. He'll be a hero...

Darky flails in the driver's seat, gurgling something about smacking ADF in the face. Everyone is almost certainly going to die.