Finding Phil IRL

[Organic Fapcup]

I'd run away. Not because I was afraid of him, but because I'd probably get hit by stray bullets when the incompetent drive-by shooter missed him and hit me instead.

Hey man, I'm sorry for last time, but I did tell you to bring a bulletproof vest just in case.

 

[Radgy Chadobah]

Speak Spanish, call him 'white guy', tell him I know him from the Innernet, refuse to let him get close to me, spray him with water and demand that he not call anybody.

 

[Broseph Stalin]

Take photos and video footage before running up to him and filming an interview which may or may not result in one of us getting beaten.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

If I were to encounter Phil IRL, it'd probably be while he's trying to molest my parked bike for a FB picture. If I were to yell "hey!" then, he'd probably flee as fast as his diabetic legs could carry him.

Then I'd have to give the bike a really good cleaning.

 

[sugoi-chan]

If I were out with a friend I'd say loudly to said friend, "Let's ask this nice looking young man for help."

 

[Judge Holden]

go to the nearest sewer, rip the underclothes from the smelliest and most incontinent hobo you find, dredge them through a urinal at a taco bell bathroom, sprinkle them with the semen of a dozen tranny spastics from your local asylum, allow them to marinate in rotting garbage for an hour, and then store them in the crotch of an obese man's fursuit for a month

Finally, purchase a pack of bloodhounds, give them a good sniff of the resulting specimen, and then begin the hunt

 

[Ravenor]

I'd probably approach him to see if he's really that batshit in person. I have tons of questions for him, since as we all know, learning more about him only raises more questions.

Then I'd probably call a hazmat team to decontaminate me.

After the encounter with, with that thing, we had to douse @Sussuro and the creatures remains in promethium and set to to burn for several hours, just to be sure @LazarusOwenhart terminated the helot's and flushed them out into the void, What in the Emperors name is going on?

 

[Tookie]

I would stay away from him out of fear of catching whatever parasites he is host to.

 

[melty]

I'd prob take a video of him and post it here

 

[Microlab]

I'd probably atart a conversation and ask where he was going, to see if I could tag along with him for a day. Call him Isabel and say I'm a tranny and everything, just to see what he does with all his time in real life.

Or ask if he's ADF and say I've read about him on Kiwifarms so he'd flip his shit on Facebook about it later.

 

[trueandhonestfan]

I'd tell him Mao would trans latinx mutant potatoes who waste their money on tattoos. Also I'd yell PHILAAAAY at him.

 

[TheProdigalStunna]

Let's just say it'd look a little something like this...

Spoiler

 

[Gaol]

Talk to him in spanish and watch him try to understand what the fuck I'm saying.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

@Ravenor Heretics like ADF are the reason the Inquisition was founded, he's your problem.

 

[Iamthatis]

I would slip $20 to a Muslim trans woman of color and have her cram a ginger root up his nose.

 

[LM 697]

[YouTube]VDi8HFC7-FY[/YouTube]

 

[Marvin]

"Hey, aren't you that Chris-Chan guy?"

Follow it up with "but wait, I thought you were trans now?".

 

[Strelok]

I'd feel happy knowing my neighbor down the road finally got that new cow he's been wanting for his farm.

 

[surgeon]

I'd throw a large ginger root at him.

 

[Weeping With Pity]

Laugh, because he wouldn't remember who I was.