🐟 Fishtank Fishtank.Live General - Jet Neptune's Pisces Aquarium Internet Reality Show w/ Host Bam Margera

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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%
  • Total voters
    764
Frank Hassle Meter™ has reached 48%

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Vance keeps getting up and checking if he's being listened to in Bedroom 1, absolutely mindbroken. Violetta is haunting the narrative.

edit: FT 01:58: He checks again.
FT 02:19: And again, this is at the least the fourth time I've seen him do this.
FT 02:28: Fifth time.
 
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Aristides said:
Vance keeps getting up and checking if he's being listened to in Bedroom 1, absolutely mindbroken. Violetta is haunting the narrative.
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To be fair, he was the first to learn just how much of a fucking snake she is with the baby situation, frankly, I don't blame him, she does eavesdrop alot.
 
Lettie randomly brought up that she is constipated. I thought the shit fetish thing was a joke for a long time, but she really does bring up shit way more often than what's normal. I hope it's a joke, I don't mind Letty but she needs to stop acting gross.
 
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I want to note that there was a lot of silence and dead air during Vance's conversation with tts and chat this time around. His attitude seemed to be focused around planning. Tone was generally monotone. This post is long enough, I'll post more when he says more shit. All quotes are roughly exactly the same as what he said. I'm typing this stuff out as fast as I can to keep up so forgive typos. All Vance quotes or generalized speech is in green.

Vance is complaining in his room about Jon to the chat and mostly himself. Jon can be heard from downstairs and Vance comments “He can’t go ten minutes after slamming something an yelling something.” “The fuck is he doing down there?” TTS comes on and says “Vance secure the existence of our people and the future for white children." He responds “Heheh, yeah, I’m the only white dude here, that’s crazy." (cam cut out for me for about fifteen seconds here so I missed some shit).

Vance is asked a few filler qestions from chat. He then states, “You guys are calling me a snake, that’s ok, I’m the only one playing this shit.” He then starts talking about some of his favorite songs and bands. He continues to ease drop on the tts taking place downstairs while sitting in silence. More tts happen after this that I can't be fucked to write down because they're boring. TTS comes in saying "What are you doing all alone, go downstairs you silly billy with your friends." He says that when you're around them all the time you need ten minutes to yourself once in a while. Chat asks whether or not he plans to have kids after the show. He says maybe.

TTS mentions that at least Jon isn't a two faced shit talker and goes on to compliment Vance's drumming. Vance says that that's ok, and that it's for entertainment and a game. He's playing to win, and that no matter what he's going to be "one of the people they're looking to for help." He goes into detail about the difficulties of the challenges and the unpredictability of them. TSS, "Do you think it will come down to you and Jon?" Vance answers, "I feel like that would be the best outcome for the show, but it's not the outcome I want."

Vance says that the longer the show goes on the more he's willing to do to win, as he doesn't want it to be for nothing. He does not believe it will be up to the chat tp vote the winner at the end. TTS asks "What do you think about teaming up with Damiel to take out Jon." Vance responds, "I don't know if you guys have been listening but that's literally been the plan since the beginning. I've been with Damiel from day one, I'm not turning my back on him." He is then sidetracked by chat asking about his craziest concert experiences. Chat asks what he's willing to do for that sweet lettuce, Vance realizes it's talking about Letty and responds with a disappointed "cmon bro."

Vance says his favorite glue brand is Elmer's and that he'll never touch gorilla glue again. A tts asks Vance to dismantle Jon and destroy his ego. Vance responds "I've tried so many things. I feel like I'll talk to him, and he'll say sorry, then he'll go back doing the same stuff. But that's how it is, nobody said it would be easy. But uhhhh, I'd like for me and Damiel to take him out next if we can. Then Letty next, (he mocks Letty's giggle here). Was that too mean? I feel like I'm very nice to her. Some people just get on my nerves you know what I mean?"

He starts drumming. Long Vance speech inbound. "One thing to keep in mind here is that we're literally characters, umm, yeah, we're providing entertainment, or we're trying to, ummm, yeah, just keep in mind here that every person here is a character playing a roll. It gets reall, but at the same time, uhhh, we're making content [and] I hate using that word but that's what we're doing. So at least to me all the backstabbing behavior is all apart of it, and should be encouraged. But at the same time sometimes I do feel bad for the things I've said. Yeah at the same time I'm not trying to actually upset anybody, I'm not like an actual dickhead." "Yeah, another thing I'll say, when you're in this environment, watching it is completely different from living it. If any of you were living in it the worst of you will come out.

"On the real though, I do like everybody here, uhh yeah, I do like everybody here." TTS asks him to rank the fish most to least annoying. Ranking is Jon, Letty, interchangeably Damiel and Sylvia, and finally Josie. He starts to talk about the cell challenge and that he could've lasted a whole night and that more or less he will be able to hunker down and last the whole time for the rest of the show.

Long rant on Letty: “She is annoying, but like… I’m trying to not be too much of a dick. I don’t hate her or anything Like that. I do think she’s like, she’s way too sneaky, which is funny coming from me.” Cut off by tts. “So the thing about Letty, I can recogonzie that she’s sneakier than me, which is a problem, uhh, but no, I have had like real conversations with her, I don’t hate her or anything like that. I’m trying to find a balance between-(cutoff by tts) Uh but yeah I’m trying to find a balance between being entertaining, sneaking around, going behind people’s backs, but also not trying to be too much of a dickhead to people. But actually…yeah, if I actually upset somebody I don’t want that. Umm yeah, I’m trying not to take things too far. It’s all a balance, I’m trying to find a balance. But yeah you saw that shit she was trying to pull with the fishbuck."
 
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fishtank enjoyer said:
if this was run by anyone else it would be getting mainstream coverage
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Yeah, but if anyone else tried it, they would probably fuck it up trying to get that that sweet main stream money. It sucks yeah, but as well as it has went so far, even with the hiccups, i could see it happening again.
It's sort of cooler because it doesn't have all those faggot mainstream eyes on it. Teh tranny skit and the waterboarding skit from the first couple days would have never happened.
 
JonHellHouse.jpg

🃏MWHAHAH 🃏we will fill loot boxes will devious goodies like candy bars, fidget toys along with more chaotic options like Light bulbs or toilet paper HoHoHo!!! BUT WAIT, we will also have our very own evil snack delivery making the fish slightly fatter AHAAHAHAH:!:But that's only just the start for our vulnerable captives, with the click of the button we can fry these fillets by making the house 90 degrees or go ice fishing by making it a freezing 50 degrees HyckHyckHyck!!! Our cruelty does not stop there, oh no, our goons will ensure that fishes have no soft bed for the night, but the even softer leather couch🤡 HEHEHEHEHEE!!🤡

So I've been thinking about the fishtoys and other production pieces and I have some thoughts oriented more towards a better organized season 2. For starters fish toys need to have in house audio cues. The animations are fucking atrocious as they cut off the stream with no sound and don't actually tell the fish anything. The TTS has a sound that plays before it so there should be some way to set up a distinct sound when a fishtoy becomes active and having it play would give the fish more things to react too. Fishtoys should also have have its own little display or banner separate from everything else that shows at least active fishtoys. Statistic counter's of how many toys were bought would be fun as I'm sure MDE fans could be tricked into making the numbers go up just for the hell of it. Also I have no idea how to address pricing for any of this because to me all of this seems overpriced and current profit is unknown.

The hot and cold fish toys need something other than just the house thermostat. The best suggestion I saw on here was buying some kind of heating and cooling units to set up in the living room and upstairs. I don't know how loud things like that are but I imagine they can be strategically placed for minimal audio fuckery. Plus by having both kinds of unit's the crew downstairs always has the solution to the problem. Could also add to it by making the fishes wear sweaters during the heat and stealing blankets during the cold. (edit: only a couple hours after this post they killed hot and cold and refunded tokens because it was so ineffectual lol).

I like snack delivery but the quality should be lower and sometimes weird like slices of wonder bread, uncracked walnuts, nasty jelly beans, a bottle of spice, stuff that's technically a snack but isn't fun to eat. In that same vain loot boxes shouldn't really have food in them (expect maybe alcohol) and instead have more just weird stuff. It could be a loot box of fake bones, one half filled with water, another filled with rice and broken phones, random wires all tied together around something, a wooden block with a bunch of quarters super glued too it. Just stuff to make the fish always curious what the next box will contain.

Fucking with the cameras is lame and is only an options because assholes and fools have money to waste. Bed snatcher and fridge swapper are interesting in theory but the fish can easily circumnavigate those toys so unless there's more ways to enforce those toys fall kind of flat. An alternative toy could be to play a song though i don't know how the copyright/legality of that works.

I really like the EMP but it seems they didn't actually plan to use it since the option has been muted for a while. With smart bulbs in theory they could do some really fun lighting effects like making the house red for things like battle royal or disco for when Jason Goldstriker arrives along with the EMP.

The added Josie plushie option is fun but they could milk it way more. Add another option to steal a plushie and keep two running counters on plushies given, and plushie stolen. They could stoke a paypig war of disturbed portions as simps blow their finical loads for parasocial love and haters burn their money to spite strangers on the internet. All while Sam and crew drive their million dollar sport cars laughing like the joker to the bank.

Speaking of money, fishbuck's need some reworking too. At the very least they should laminated, the loose printer paper shit is absurd and barely representative of their huge value. An Idea to make fishbuck more interesting was to have the 500 be divided in uneven portions in a circle on one side so like $250, $100 $60, $50 $25 $15 for example. The idea would be that fishbuck could be divided and offered as ways for fishes to barter and have more smaller challenges played. So like a $25 piece could be offered to who ever eats a Popsicle the longest when the cold toy is activated, $50 to do a shot of hot sauce when the hot toy is activated, things like that. Sharks should also get some kind of small tablet that they can type simple messages on in order to communicate smaller challenges like this and be able to do more work without getting disturbed. The entity could be upped by doing more subtle spooky shit like leaving fake blood outside doors, leaving fake bugs in crevasses, slowly creaking open fishes doors, with maybe a puzzle/treasure hunt element with strange notes.

Obviosuly a lot of this stuff needs a significantly tighter, well oiled production that's been thoroughly tested which this season clearly lacked. That can be achived in later. This season is a completely different beast at this point and has thrown pretty much every expectation out the window except that it would be supremely autistic. So even with everything currently being more scuffed than an old cowboy boot left alone on a desert road, its been the most I've laughed in forever and very unique shitshow to experience.
 
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Lowercase I internet said:
the longer the show goes on the more he's willing to do to win, as he doesn't want it to be for nothing.
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Reminds me of when he was downstairs talking about the "deal" he made, and because he was on camera he "didn't want to renege" (If my memory serves correctly). He wanted to yoink those other two bucks for himself.
 
Lowercase I internet said:
When asked about whether or not white people should be able to say the nigger word Jon respond, "I couldn't care less." He continues with the political talk saying that his sisters became left wing, and while they disagree they still get along. He doesn't like calling himself right wing because he thinks that concepts such as left and right wing exist only to divide the people. "I believe what I believe is true, and whenever someone questions it I will listen to them and decide whether I agree with them or not."
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This "retard" is smarter than 98% of the people on Twitter holy shit lmao
 
Letty, having not lost her bed, still chooses to sleep on the couch near Jon. Has she soured on Vance or is she scheming and gathering info?
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crunchmeister said:
Anyone have Bens bedtime story where he jumpscared letty?
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Mummy on the hill story is the video below as well as one of the most profound quotes he's ever said. It's worth noting not a single tts interrupted him during this large speech. He's a fast talker and it's sometimes hard to understand him, but I did my best to capture the quote.


Jon confirms he has had speech therapy for 19 years try to empthize with a viewer who has a speech impediment. He says as long as you keep going you'll get through it and be fine.

"If you don't get out of your comfort zone if you have autism, you will regret so many things. Like me? I used to be socially awkward and couldn't do anything at all. I became homeless. Then I said fuck this and became a firefighter. Trained for a year and became a wildland firefighter until the government fucked me over. When they fucked me over I started a business and started modeling. When I was younger, this is how bad my autism was, if you dropped water on me I would freak out. And now I swim, and I go to waterfalls to meditate. And I think a lot of that is because I found Jesus. If you can find that one person or you can be that person to someone, that's huge. Always try to support people if you can, and the biggest thing most people don't work on enough is spreading positivity. I don't like negativity, I do negative stuff, if you do positive stuff you'll feel better and you'll make others feel better too. Another thing people struggle with is forgiveness. It's hard for me to forgive myself, because I have high standards for myself. But forgiveness is key, it's not for that other person, it's for yourself , and it's for your own peace."

Jon says he really loves Sparta and Vikings. He says the Roman empire is cool, but kind of lame too. He says something not a lot a people know about is that in the Grand Canyon there's three pyramids and Egyptian artifacts. He says to go on YouTube and type 'Wisconsin lake pyramid' He states that giants were real and that in the early 1900s and 1800s there were news articles where you could look at giant skeletons of people who were 9 or 10 feet tall. He questions why they don't want to tell us. He says that it's because the Bible and book of Enoch mentions giants, and that when an angel and person fuck that a giant is made and that when a giant dies a demon spirit is released (yes this is real old testament lore). Vance comes down and starts talking with him. Jon offers him the MRE he received in a care package and says they could make a bomb with it.

 
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Man, I'm at the edge of my seat with this slow emotional catharsis I'm seeing, but I gotta sleep. The thread has slowed down appreciably since several days ago, but what's left is gold and what's gone is dross.
 
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