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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%
  • Total voters
    764
WelfareNiggerQueen said:
Whose a paypig here and has access to the archives. I need a clip

16:32 May 16th 2023 Laundry room cam

Maybe a minute or two prior. Letty was walking towards the laundry room when the black guy busted in from the basement door and Letty's shocked face was so funny along with her staggering back a few steps.
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Funfact: They stopped doing laundry room archives weeks ago for some reason. I got you though.

1684271455972.png

 
I think it's great that Sam tried to coach Fatty and told him that rambling incoherently is good if the intent of the standup routine is to torture the audience. Sam said if you introduce a concept it needs to play into the punchline and explains Chekhov's Gun.

Fatty says he understands and then continues to ramble incoherently without a punchline in sight.

7:55PM
Red Shark enters and covers Fatty with a white sheet/towel. He opens a can of soda or beer and pours it over Fatty and then leaves. Fatty is unphased and continues his torture standup.

7:59PM
Red Shark returns to remove the sheet and gives Fatty a sponge bath.
 
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I'd be genuinely interested to see what their PSAT scores are, because we could gauge how retarded they actually are beyond acting out/personality disorders.

The SAT/PSAT is more a measure of cognitive ability than anything (and your recall of basic math & English background knowledge, which is part nurture but a lot nature as well). You take a blind practice test first, then figure out where you went wrong and study what the book says on those deficits until you get the score you want.

You can polish a diamond, but you can't polish a turd. People below a certain IQ level will hit a wall where they can't get much higher than the baseline score they had. People can teach themselves to game the test through pattern recognition without understanding the concepts, but that itself requires more cognitive ability than many people have.

(It would be like herding cats trying to make them all give an earnest effort instead of "Christmas Tree"-ing it, though)
 
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a great big cabbage said:
I think it's great that Sam tried to coach Fatty and told him that rambling incoherently is good if the intent of the standup routine is to torture the audience. Sam said if you introduce a concept it needs to play into the punchline and explains Chekhov's Gun.

Fatty says he understands and then continues to ramble incoherently without a punchline in sight.

7:55PM
Red Shark enters and covers Fatty with a white sheet/towel. He opens a can of soda or beer and pours it over Fatty and then leaves. Fatty is unphased and continues his torture standup.

7:59PM
Red Shark returns to remove the sheet and gives Fatty a sponge bath.
Click to expand...
At this point I dunno who the fat fuck tortures more. The fish or the audience.
I would start watching again if he just fucked off.
 
I legitimately feel bad for Letty for having this lardfuck hoisted upon her by Sam and co. She doesn't deserve this.
He's the only one in the whole show so far that gives me legitimately creepy weirdo 'smother you with a pillow' vibes. Or in this case, smother you with his fat.
 
8:49PM
Fatty and Vance go to the garage in anticipation for a workout with Goldstriker.

Fatty will be too tired to do anything except sleep and as a result the rightly terrified female fish will not be bred this night. Felony crisis narrowly averted.

Vance's shoes and socks match his strike pads.
High Fashion or Low T?
Only you can decide!

Day 29 9:26PM Kitchen
Someone comes in and dumps the trash Letty just finished picking up.

Josie suggests the 3 girls all pick it up together.
Letty suggests getting Vance to do it because he didn't help much last time.
Josie reminds Letty that the boys are in the garage working out.

TTS is slow, but there have been a couple good ones trying to hit Hog and Letty. Not really any good reactions from them tbh

Example:
TTS "Letty, ask Sylvia why she put your clothes in a garbage bag"
Letty asks
Sylvia "I don't know"
Letty "There you have it. She doesn't know"
And they all continue to quietly sit together.

Chat needs to step it up. Fish are either getting used to it or are more resilient when they're sober.

Goldstriker has not shown up to the garage tonight. Vance and Fatty worked out together. Fatty was, of course, cringe and pretended to know what he's talking about and "coached" Vance. Until he (immediately) got tired and saved his breath for panting like a wild severely dehydrated beast. To his credit after the workout ended he continued walking laps in the garage alone.

Vance returns to the kitchen. He was assisting Letty with something when a TTS came in "Stop helping with Letty with basic things or she always be retarded." Letty giggles and says she doesn't mind.

TTS "Vance, Sylvia ate all your chicken tendies"

Vance and Letty are the only ones showing any personality. Josie remains quiet and eats dinner. Hog sits at the end of the table blissfully ignorant about life in general.

Looks like the tank is winding down for the night.
 
I had a thought that has made me change a previous opinion. It will not happen but at this point in time with our given contestants, I hope Sylvia wins because she has stated her intent to use the money to castrate a tranny, which is a noble public service. This will also unload some of the emotional and financial burden of the taxpayers forced to fund amholes.
 
retard strength said:
I had a thought that has made me change a previous opinion. It will not happen but at this point in time with our given contestants, I hope Sylvia wins because she has stated her intent to use the money to castrate a tranny, which is a noble public service. This will also unload some of the emotional and financial burden of the taxpayers forced to fund amholes.
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Even if they're castrated they can still adopt children to troon them and do other devious, horrific stuff to them.
 
NateHiggers1488 said:
Even if they're castrated they can still adopt children to troon them and do other devious, horrific stuff to them.
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Castrating drastically lowers the sex drive, though I will concede that troons are such sex pests that it does not always seem to impact them much. However, it does often speed up the 41% process.

eta: so as to not depress the thread about troons, which it seems sam and jet have worked hard to keep away from their show, i am going to add that letty has started dressing like Josie again. wonder what triggered it?
 
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For the people who don't pay, here's a sneak peek at a Josie confessional. I missed the beginning but I assume this is Touhou or some such autism.
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Just a fun thing from Twitter.



Edit:
Screenshot 2023-05-16 212715.png
 
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Better late than never. It's not the complete fiasco, but it's the part where Vance destroys Simmons' book.

 
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