🐟 Fishtank Fishtank.Live General - Jet Neptune's Pisces Aquarium Internet Reality Show w/ Host Bam Margera

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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%
  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%
  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%
  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%
  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%

  • Total voters
    764
Can't believe we assumed Cole was trooned pilled looking at his fish id.


My man is actually based
 
Gotta say the cast initially seems more interesting this year. Production is slightly better but still with hiccups that seem like they should have learned about last time.... A little tougher to read people on the first day whether people are just really tired or what. pretty sure Tj just got bored while the flight was delayed on the tarmac and he just took the rest of his adhd meds. Jimmys gonna be the punching bag until cole tries to join in and jimmy decks him. i dont see Brian lasting long, the other spergs will see if hes not one of them. The girls somehow manage to come off more pathetic than our JAV star engrish teacher. All in all should be more fun to watch this year as opposed to mauro and simmons slipping into a hypoglycemic coma
 
While the timing is less than ideal, I do think this season will be on par or better than the first. The casting is very promising. It'll just be up to Jet and the wiggers not to fuck it up too much.
 
This Cole guy has potential. He just told the other guy that there's no way someone wore his type of shorts in the 70s, completely out of nowhere. Actual schizo, I can see the new Jon-esque meme being COLEFRONTATION.
 
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This is not the same Cole from the other picture. Where did the other Cole go.
 
Do you see a physical altercation between any of them in the future? In my experience I have never seen a schizo capable of deescalation. I don't know much about Cole. But i see jimmy defending his point to the death correct or not. Cole gives me that jon vibe where he needed to believe everyone hes an alpha male and just end up being retarded.
 
I feel happy with us having potentially two based retards in Cole and Jimmy. I hope we get an actual retard fight this time and not just Damiel going through withdrawals whilst Jon accidentally embarrassed him.
 
This is my first big write-up of the show, and I think it's Jimmy's craziest rant so far. He will never socially recover from this.

Season 2, Day 1, ~4:15 AM FT, Kitchen
Jimmy, Brian, Tayleigh and Megan
are present. Jimmy rants autistically and uses a lot of bad words right in front of the hoes who now surely hate him. Everyone's just listening and passively agreeing with him. He tells insane stories about himself like he's not standing right there with a bloodthirsty audience documenting it all. Brian keeps egging him on, and it reminds me of Vance.

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When talking about Cole, Jimmy says "I hope he's not one of the people who looks at me and says 'that's the man I'm going to take my issues out on.'" Brian says that's a weird concern. Jimmy explains:

JIMMY: "People like to take their issues out on me. I don't know what it is about my genetics, it fucking triggers that in a lot of people. They'll look at me and think 'that's the man I'm gonna fuck with' and then I blow up at them, usually they run away and call the cops and it's this whole fucking headache." He twirls his index finger around in a dismissive motion.
BRIAN: "Have you ever been to jail?"
JIMMY: "Yes."

The two girls cackle derisively, especially Tayleigh.
BRIAN: "How many times?"
JIMMY: "Two times."

Brian shares that he "almost got arrested a couple of times" but hid the coke in his buttcrack and they didn't find it. This was back when he "was 18 to 20," and he's "27 now." "18 to 20 I was stupid... I was very stupid," he says. Brian "has no idea" how he finished college. It was "a fucking nightmare" and he "barely did it." Megan says she dropped out. Jimmy says "I dropped out of my first college, it was a shithole..." and makes it very clear how much he hates his old campus when he says "I'm going to buy it and burn it to the ground and I'm going to laugh at anyone who's upset by that. Obviously not with people in it."

There's a few reasons for this. First, he retells a negative experience he had there. It's about him fucking a girl ("grimy bitch") and getting a yeast infection. He knew who it was and told a nurse, asking her to tell the girl in question not to spread it to anyone else. "This is 2014, mind you." The nurse "calls [him] sexist" because yeast is a natural part of a woman's body. At this point in the story, Jimmy says "Yeah, but not enough to give me fucking a yeast infection, you stupid cunt!" It falls flat and everyone just stares at him awkwardly.

He then goes in for the "real fucking kicker" about how much of a "shithole" his campus was and why he wants to "destroy it." "You know how colleges make you take those bullshit English classes?" Megan agrees, says they're part of "basic." He was tasked with a simple writing exercise consisting of writing down his goals for college. He got "no bitches in high school" so he wrote down "being a lady's man." Now, I don't who the following "faggot" in question is, but I can assume it's his teacher for that class: "That faggot fucking tells on me, I get sent to this fucking fat landwhale named Beth fucking Blial-" at this point Brian looks up at the camera and repeats the woman's name as a joke, it's just like Vance and Jon "-I hope her blubbering ass died in the fucking pandemic," Jimmy says, then follows suit and looks at the camera like Brian, yelling "Beth Blial, fucking kill yourself. You fat fucking faggot, fight me! Fight me, bitch!" The girls sort of stand there with a desperate look on their faces, their body language becoming more inward with every word coming out of his mouth. "So Beth Blial then says-" and Jimmy uses a satirical Goofy voice for Beth here "-'you said you wanted to be a lady's man, that means you're sexist and you want to abuse women!' and I got in serious fucking trouble for that, and it's like, 'you fucking faggots!'" A few moments pass. Tayleigh is biting her nails, Megan is standing there swaying her leg back and forth.

Brian decouples from this silence by saying "Did you call him that?" and Jimmy replies "Not at the time." Tayleigh laughs, it's a little less tense. Jimmy: "I got a business degree, look where the fuck I am." Tayleigh nervously blurts out "I'm planning on buying the college and burning it down!" in an imitative tone. It goes right over Jimmy's head. They listen to him talk for a little while longer about "the college scam" and how he somehow "networked" his way into some business-related job, but the mood is ruined and it's not as interesting.



Season 2, Day 1, ~4:54 AM FT, Lounge
Brian
lays on the couch, seemingly sleeping. Everyone's retired to their bedrooms. Tay flushes a toilet and he jolts up then looks around, opens his mouth and winks at the camera then lays back down. So I guess he's either laying there eavesdropping quietly just in case or this is simply another of his "wink wink nudge nudge can you guys tell I'm the plant?" moments, of which we've had a few.

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Others would be when Ben asked him "are you jealous?" in one of the hallways out of nowhere and he immediately started riffing and doing a bit instead of simply being startled by this sudden question. Or when Sam had the one-on-one with him and sat there letting Brian give him the rundown of every fish, who shit-talked them immensely as he did it, instead of grilling him with probing questions like he did everyone else. Brian eventually smirked and laughed like a cartoon villain near the end of this, it felt entirely deliberate. He fully expects the audience to be onboard with his plant shenanigans. Don't forget that Sam introduced him as "the hot guy" and laughed out loud when one of girls concurred with this notion during one of his one-on-ones.

The following is just my speculation: Brian will be the lynchpin of this season's alliance operation. Just like Damiel colluded to ostracize the chaff (Letty, Simmons, Mauro, Jon) with the deemed-worthy contestants (Vance, Josie, Sylvia) last season, we'll see Brian do something similar this time around. Calling the nerds losers is what made the evil team bond, and Jimmy will be the sacrificial lamb for Brian's initial schemes, vide Brian being eager to call Jimmy weird whenever he's not around. Following that logic, other nerds must be part of the chaff: JC, Cole or Megan. Now, I also think it was easier to see who was worthy and who was chaff last season than it is now. Back then it was just "people who are knowledgeable of MDE and/or Jet" versus "people picked off of Craigslist and Discord who seem like good punching bags," so they're going with something slightly different this time around.

Day 16, 20:30 FT - Vancecast

Vance sounds upset, tired or at least pensive. He checks the hallway at least four times during this half hour.

"Early on in the show, there was the day that Damiel came up to me and he said 'I wanna make a four-person alliance' and that same night we went down into the kitchen, the lights turned red as we were talking, and we wrote a list of names. They were, in order: Simmons, Mauro, Jon, Letty. So far pretty much everything that I've planned has come true. If the prophecy is right... we know who's next."
 
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