🐟 Fishtank Fishtank.Live General - Jet Neptune's Pisces Aquarium Internet Reality Show w/ Host Bam Margera

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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%
  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%
  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 170 22.2%
  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 52.9%
  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.1%

  • Total voters
    765
Idk about rumpless as a breed standard, because every easy Google shows hens with full tails, but I know it's all sort of a genetic mush. All Easter eggers share some comment n genes with araucaunas.

Yeah... Cigarette smoke is a disgusting flavor, and they're not even good meat chickens. They're more valuable for the eggs.

Apparently breed standard in Europe allows for tails, I did not know that. Ones I had were rumpless, but I couldn't get them to successfully breed true.

But we're getting off topic, this is fishtank not chickencoop.
 
I've noticed whenever Sam talks about helping Fatty he always focuses on having him workout, and not just in the tank but in general. Sam's smart enough to know that exercise wont do shit unless fatty fixes his diet.
 
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Ozempic would probably be good for Fatty, not just because he's morbidly obese, but also because he has diabetes. If he actually used that to jump start his weightloss and make changes to his unhealthy lifestyle, that would be ideal. But he won't, because like a lot of death fats, they use food as a coping mechanism, and ozempic won't make that problem magically go away. If you browse any of the death fat lolcows on KF, you'll see the ones using ozempic are still mobirdly obese. That drug only helped them lose 50-80 lbs, it's not going to turn a death fat into a normal healthy weight because these cows refuse to stop binge eating.
I've noticed whenever Sam talks about helping Fatty he always focus on having him workout, and not just in the tank but in general. Sams smart enough to know that exercise wont do shit unless fatty fixes his diet.
Fatty doesn't have to do anything special to lose weight. All he has to do is cut his calories. He doesn't have to work out, he doesn't even have to cut it his calories by a lot, this fat ass could still eat 2,500 calories a day and drop weight fast because he's just THAT overweight.
 
I'll just leave this here...
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All arguments that this was somehow a better season than the first die with this wet fart of an ending. When they lost so many people they should have cut it down to 35 days. Imagine being the angel investor that paid for this and watching this final stretch.
 
Since the fish are sleeping and everyone gives their suggestions for a hypothetical season 3, I'll also chime in:
  • Assign bedrooms based on challenge performance - make one bedroom significantly better than the others (better matresses, better blankets etc.) and make it a destruction-free zone (punish those who destroy stuff in there). I think that this would make the fish more engaged in the challenges, as they would become a fight for who suffers less. It could also stir some conflicts between the fish without direct involvment of production.
  • Make more long form challenges - again, this would actually make the challenges entertaining and engaging
  • Stick to the time periods - the 70's concept had some good potential, but it was underutilized and they quickly thrown it out (giving Cole an xbox, Charleston White instagram stream etc.). If they plan to keep the idea of different time periods they should actually stick to them. I think a 90's setting would work fairly well, as zoomers still seem to like that kind of crap and giving them products from that era would probably entertain them enough.
  • Stop recycling freeloaders - remember when Goran said that fishtank is about "advancing the culture"? Well, it doesn't seem to advance anything considering they had to rely on 4 freeloaders from last season. Nobody wants to see Fatty anymore, he has already overstayed his welcome. They need to bring in new people to live among the fish and there are plenty who would want to fill that role.
  • If the fish leave, they leave forever - self explanatory. Make the eliminations more dramatic, don't try to bring fish back in hopes of new content (embarassing Jimmy comeback) and don't let them stay at the house doing nothing (Trish)
I think a big issue with the show currently is structure, direction, and downtime.


They don't need to have every day planned out six weeks in advance, but the Wiggers just do stuff at random, and the worst for the is eliminations. There needs to be a set primetime challenge daily, and the Wiggers can Jet it up with smaller stuff at random, a set primetime elimination weekly(5 before the finale, that leaves 3 eliminations for quiters, or they can add extras closer to finale, if too many quit too quickly, tell the fish it cancelled a future one). More inconsistent things like a 24 hour Cell challenge, or decompression Fish Fun Time like parties, advertised a head of time. Fans and Fish need to know what the stakes are.

A really big thing is, I think the show needs a director. Jet isn't a Director, he's a character on the show. Sam is the host. They need a third person, who isn't on cameras, doesn't have interactions with the Fish, just watches the cameras and the fanbase and makes decisions based on what's best for the show. They keep albarossing the show with unpopular Fish, and driving away popular ones. From what I've read recently with the show being dead with Sam out of town, hopefully he has learned he can't leave the show in just Jet's hands, and The Wiggers have all been severely limited on how much they can impact the show.

They really need to think about what to do when not on primetime. The current system of having a Wigger come up with a dumb off the top of their head activity, or literally just poking the monkeys and telling them to be interesting, has been a disaster. Telling the fish to go fuck with each other's shit to force drama and rivalry has fucked up more stuff than it's made content. The locked goon cave was content, it got fish working together, JC and Cole kept it secret after they did... It just led to nothing. It was a hollow space until they made something out of it 4 weeks later with confessional. If the house was full of secrets that the fish eventually unlocked, or projects that they were rewarded for, that could be fun. What if the point of the money cube had been to get inside?
 
All arguments that this was somehow a better season than the first die with this wet fart of an ending. When they lost so many people they should have cut it down to 35 days. Imagine being the angel investor that paid for this and watching this final stretch.
Oh my god and Sams a genius. we are quite litteally WATCHING PAINT DRY!
 
All arguments that this was somehow a better season than the first die with this wet fart of an ending. When they lost so many people they should have cut it down to 35 days. Imagine being the angel investor that paid for this and watching this final stretch.
I've been rewatching old footage of the final few days of season 1 and it's not even a competition season 1 dominates. There was actual tension and it felt like everyone in the house including Sam were losing it in an entertaining way. We are on day 39 and what of note happened today? They brought in some chickens and fattys pants fell down while boxing. The rest was the fish sitting around. Day 39 of season 1 had some classic challenges like the fat guy punching competition.
 
If the house was full of secrets that the fish eventually unlocked, or projects that they were rewarded for, that could be fun. What if the point of the money cube had been to get inside?
Then that makes two seasons in a row of them failing on this very concept, season 1 had the same exact shit regarding quarters and the gumball machine and both of those never went anywhere.
 
I'm sorry but how is watching Frank throw plates at chickens and then making them smell smelling salts entertainment? I get chickens are considered dumb farm animals to most but this is still mean and psychotic.
 
I read a lot of good ideas for season 3 in this thread. Makes me wonder why I keep seeing really good pitches for shows, movies, games etc in internet comment sections but they just publish utter garbage year after year.
Jews and their penchant for fail-upwards nepotism and ideology over qualification.
@23seconds. Holy shit, Tay didn't even flinch She really is the queen of FTL.
Fatty only lobbed at her and she threw with FULL FORCE smdh.
TJ yanking the blanket off and Tay's little nerf gun shot are one of the more harmless but funny things that happened this season, great things to fill dead air.
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Hahahah this should be a highlight.

A really big thing is, I think the show needs a director. Jet isn't a Director, he's a character on the show
That's the problem in both cases, he wants to be but he is not and thus he makes everything shitty. S3 should have a zero Jet on screen policy.

The Japanese Game Show theme would be kino, Sam as main host with Shinji as challenges host.

Also, kudos to the chicken enthusiasts on the thread, cool stuff.
 
I'm sorry but how is watching Frank throw plates at chickens and then making them smell smelling salts entertainment? I get chickens are considered dumb farm animals to most but this is still mean and psychotic.
Wait, is he really purposely hurting them? Cause if he is, I am beyond MATI.

Someone ought to yell him to knock that shit off.
 
I'm sorry but how is watching Frank throw plates at chickens and then making them smell smelling salts entertainment? I get chickens are considered dumb farm animals to most but this is still mean and psychotic.
if they start like really doing some fucked up shit to these poor animals I might have to tap out. its one thing if its humans its another if its an animal.
 
The state of Fishtank, day 39 (primetime hours).
It's not even just day 39. The fish have had no energy for like 4-5 days now. All they do is sleep. It's Ambien house now.
they need a chicken cam thats the only way this would be fun. Im not enjoying hearing Chris and Frank plotting how they would torture them.
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New greg cam moments its too bad he wasn't really slapping him...
 
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I have been very generous to this season and I was not thrilled by last season's finale either, but this has gotten bad. As said, at least they were doing stuff this time around on S1 even when it was completelty stupid. I don't believe there is some ace-up-the-sleeve miracle finale planned, everyone has just checked out.
 
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