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With a (questionable) W from James Drake, how would you rate season 5 of Fishtank?

  • 1 Star — Absolute disaster. Unwatchable, boring, production fucked it up bad, the fish were lame

    Votes: 56 7.3%

  • 2 Stars — Pretty bad. Some funny moments, dragged, too many vibe repair days. Barely worth checking.

    Votes: 87 11.4%

  • 3 Stars — Average. Solid entertainment in spots, some good chaos and crashouts, but nothing special

    Votes: 169 22.1%

  • 4 Stars — Really good. Lots of hilarious moments, strong fish personalities, solid content and vibes

    Votes: 405 53.0%

  • 5 Stars — Peak Fishtank / Masterpiece. Non-stop insanity, legendary fish and production, pure chaos

    Votes: 47 6.2%
  • Total voters
    764
They need to wake Landon up and make him clean. Just have him in a constant cycle of drunk crashing out and hungover cleaning up his own mess for the rest of the show
 
Jackpot said:
Seems like last night was just good crash out content on two boiling pots that came to a head.

Only complaint I have is Bliccy being hit in the cross fire. That woman is a Bimbo Saint in my eyes and an attack on Lockett Extravaganza is an attack on me personally.
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It's really been cooking in my brain last night after I had to go to bed. I agree is both of them had a bit of a melty and I'm happy Jet had a completely reasonable take on letting it now over.

What I have a hard time understanding is why people are so ride and die with Bashir. He's been a cringey faggot for most of the tank, he's defused more incidents than he's instigated, he's been as stubbornly passive as Landon a times.

I really got thrown off because those defending Bashir are really disingenuous. Even after Jets play by play there were prominent people saying the door frame was in response to Drake hitting in the face and threatening to kill him. People were posting clips where the door falling on Bashir was sped up with low frame rate to look like it hit him more, and coping after it was pointed out. They act like Drake threatening to kill him after getting a sharp piece of wood pushed into his face justifies Bashir doing it. They are still acting like Bashir was justified because the goo room was promised to his people 1000 years ago, like they hadn't been fighting over it all day.

And then it clicked. They, or at least I believe a lot of people, don't like Bashir, they hate Drake. They've bought into the gaslight that Drake is their friend who they are rigging it for, and they see him getting kicked for legal reasons the only way Drake won't win.
 
Rolex said:
Here's a list of shit I think we can mostly agree on:

  • Drake was chimping a bit when he pushed on the door, Bashir pushed the door back out of frustration and semi-intentionally hit Drake in the head, Drake was at least somewhat rightfully pissed about being hit in the head hard enough to bleed with said door and swung, Bashir swung back, it was entertaining and overall not a huge deal. Guys being guys in a stressful situation. We'll see where it leads.
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My POV with the Drake/Bashir conflict is that Drake doesn't have the right to pissed about something HE caused. Production told them to stop hitting the door, Drake hit the door which is what caused it to break. Production told them Bashir and Burt decide who is allowed in the goo room, Drake was told he couldn't come in by Bashir, which caused him to hit the door. Drake hit the door which caused to fall on Bashir.

So that's 3 strikes against Drake before Bashir even reacts. Bashir throws the door back at Drake, which causes Drake to chimp, start swinging and threatening to kill him. Should Bashir have thrown the door, logically no, but in the heat of the moment I can see why he did. Drake doesn't have that excuse because he was already told not to fuck with the door anymore and told he couldn't come in the room. Drake instigated everything, he just didn't get the reaction he expected which was Bashir to sit there and let himself get steam rolled. But somehow Drake is the victim, and/or both parties are equally at fault?

Rolex said:
load up the house with women,
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Women have been the worst part of this show consistently. Why in God's name would you add more?
 
Polyboros2 said:
And then it clicked. They, or at least I believe a lot of people, don't like Bashir, they hate Drake. They've bought into the gaslight that Drake is their friend who they are rigging it for, and they see him getting kicked for legal reasons the only way Drake won't win.
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I don't like Bashir or Drake for reasons I've laid out earlier in the thread. Drake is a dork and Bashir is involved with faggots I don't like online and isn't playing the game well by being scared of physicality and chimping out over "MUH ALLERGIES! MUH CHEMICALS! MUH CONCUSSION!" like a pussy. (and then throwing chemicals on people, wrestling with the hoes, and cheapshotting drake)

Twins are just coddled at this point and freak out over anyone messing with them. I don't know who I want to win anymore. I wanted Landon for a long time but he got longhoused badly, and by binx nonetheless, like who the fuck falls for that? Anissa was at least plausibly manipulating him by using her dominatrix hax on a truecel. But binx? nah, bro's just a pussy.
 
Penguin Soldier said:
Drake hit the door which is what caused it to break.
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Stop pretending that Drake broke that door. That door being disconnected from the frame is 100% authentic TIGER HOUSE MOGGING from hours before. Denying the fact that my man completely kicked that door off it's frame is the greatest offense of the Bashir people.

It also shows that Drake wasn't being as aggressive as people are trying to justify Bashirs attack. There was no hardware holding that door in place, it was essentially leaning into that frame. If Drake has pushed it in as hard as people cope it would of been flung into that room a lot harder.
 
Polyboros2 said:
Stop pretending that Drake broke that door. That door being disconnected from the frame
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But everyone else was able to open and shut it fine before Drake interacted with it, right as Bashir was closing it preventing him from entering? It just magically fell off at that exact moment onto Bashir while Drake just so happened to be standing there? Ya know, James Drake, the guy who had broken multiple doors before this? Get real.

Even if you want to pretend that he wasn't being aggressive and it was a complete accident that the door fell onto Bashir, it doesn't negate the fact he was told to stop fucking with the door before hand and told by Bashir he couldn't come in. No matter what way you slice it, the thing that causes the whole incident is *Drake doing something he's not supposed to because he was butthurt Bashir told him no*.
 
The major problem this season comes down to Jet not having control. Even as much as a wild card Freddie was he listened to jet and knocked his shit off when he was told. These people are told something and know they can just ignore it because nothing will happen. So many good things this season have been derailed because of Jet's inability to take control of the house.
 
Kong Strong said:
This was 6 hours prior and the door continued to work fine

Yeah other than the screws holding the hinges to the door, the screws holding the hinges to the door frame and then hinges themselves you're right.
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At this rate I'm waiting for someone to say that it was actually an inside job and Bashir ripped the door off onto himself just so he could throw it like the Hulk.
 
Bongo struggling to get on top of the Castle Drake Superbed
Screenshot 2026-04-09 11.58.01 AM.png
 
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