Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

Chris may be dumb as wood sometimes, but it is still possible that he may have actually learned a valuable lesson whilst in prison and finally realized to keep his trap shut for once.
For now, yes.
Eventually Chris will slip up. Might be minor, might be major, but Chris is like the Riddler, he can't help himself. He'll leave a giant green sonichuestion mark at the crime scene and slip up.
Chris has got 'better' (in the same way that if a bull keeps charging into a wall it'll eventually break the wall with sheer brute force) but at the end of the day he's still Chris.

Like CFC said above me, what'll most likely happen is a random user pops in, dumps their entire life story and then vanishes again.
 
Chris is friends with a few people on Duo Lingo and I got curious and decided to join Duo Lingo to figure out who else was on his friend list and a name of "Helmi Ikävalko" appeared in his list and when I searched "Helmi name" on the Brave search engine, it shows in the results that Helmi is in fact a Estonian and Finnish name.

Because there's fuck-all else going on with Flutter these days, I was doing some poking around with different combinations and translations of the Helmi Ikävalko name. Translations were via Google Translate, so take them for what that's worth. Additionally, much of this is going to sound retardedly obvious to Finns. It's also being posted here for reference, not because of any earth-shattering discoveries.

'Helmi' translates to 'pearl'; Ikävalko to 'age white'. Something about that didn't feel right, so I dug into the name a bit further. 'Helmi' is a diminutive form of 'Vilhelmiina' (may also be spelled as 'Vilhelmina' if the Swedish form is used), so the possibility is there of her actually being named Vilhelmiina Ikävalko.

The surname Ikävalko appears to be mostly found in Karelia, along the South-Eastern border with Russia, and is not very common. Speculation was that she was from or lived in South Ostrobothnia, which is more or less on the opposite side of the country. People do move between regions, so that remains a valid possibility - however, she may have relatives in the East as a result if that is correct.

Finnish is a really interesting language, particularly the verb and noun structure. It's easy to see why it has a high bar to learning it later in life, but there's a great deal of logic and progression behind how words and sentences are formed. As an example, if the last name 'Ikävalko' was a verb, the -ko (or -kö) suffix would indicate that a question was being asked, and other suffixes it may be compounded with determine the subject, object, and actions. In a sense, it's sort of like German, but, loan words aside, the two are clearly not related.

This led to some playing around with the structure of the surname, removing letters from the end to see how the translation changed. It's likely not relevant, but native Finnish speakers would need to verify that.
  • Ikävalko - age white
  • Ikävalk - age group
  • Ikäval - age selection
  • Ikäva - I'm sorry
  • Ikäv - boring
  • Ikä - age
  • Ik - I
The reason for prodding at the name structure: her name was feeling like it may have been a pseudonym, and I wanted to see if anything interesting may come from a translation and modification. I'm not totally convinced that it is a pseudonym, particularly given that others in Finland share the surname. However, seeing 'I'm sorry' and 'boring' crop up was at least slightly interesting, given how those elements are sometimes referenced in usernames or online bios.

There's also a Helmi Ikävalko who appeared in a short film made in 1956, Taikapeili (Magic Mirror). The movie may or may not hold some significance for Flutter, and she may have adopted the actress' name as a pseudonym. Again, though, this is total speculation.
 
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Do you think she swallowed? If so, did she chase it with a shot of Fanta? 🤔
I doubt Barb ever sucked Chris's dick. Very likely that Finnish Flutter has though! So whenever you see pictures of her lips, consider the possibility that they're the first to have ever been wrapped around the penis of Christian Weston Chandler aka Jesus Christine Sonichu Prime or whatever the fuck the title is. What a privilege!

Maybe she's in this thread and is going to read this post?
 
@Glowie are Finnish people like black people in that they all know each other? You holding out on us?
Ever since time immemorial Finnish tribes connected with nature on primordial level, what you call magic, words, song and craft what civilized people called memes.
Large majority of Finns lost connection to their pre Christian roots. That happens when you are slaves between Swedes and Russians for two hundred years
Most people forgot, others have strong shaman, witch in their veins. Chronic alcoholism, drug use, social democracy can fuck up anything, I guarantee that.

I hate to repeat myself since this is in random text thread,
TL;DR: It's Finnish magic, I don't have to explain shit


Don't do social democracy kids, it's not hip or cool socialism destroys lives
 
This led to some playing around with the structure of the surname, removing letters from the end to see how the translation changed. It's likely not relevant, but native Finnish speakers would need to verify that.
  • Ikävalko - age white
  • Ikävalk - age group
  • Ikäval - age selection
  • Ikäva - I'm sorry
  • Ikäv - boring
  • Ikä - age
  • Ik - I
The reason for prodding at the name structure: her name was feeling like it may have been a pseudonym, and I wanted to see if anything interesting may come from a translation and modification. I'm not totally convinced that it is a pseudonym, particularly given that others in Finland share the surname. However, seeing 'I'm sorry' and 'boring' crop up was at least slightly interesting, given how those elements are sometimes referenced in usernames or online bios.
  • Ikävalko - age white
  • Ikävalk - gibberish
  • Ikäval - gibberish
  • Ikäva - gibberish
  • Ikäv - gibberish
  • Ikä - age
  • Ik - gibberish
If you wish to continue down this path, I recommend this anagram site. Nothing jumped out at me, other than the obvious references to cows (lehmä). Have a translator too.
 
  • Ikävalko - age white
  • Ikävalk - gibberish
  • Ikäval - gibberish
  • Ikäva - gibberish
  • Ikäv - gibberish
  • Ikä - age
  • Ik - gibberish

Thanks for the clarification. It seemed strange to me that the meaning would change drastically ('boring', 'I'm sorry') when the root of the word was remaining the same, but I didn't (and still don't) know enough about the language to say if it was correct or a translation error. Appreciate the recommendations.
 
let's hope they get married. maybe we'll finally get a name leaked from the ceremonies/legal stuff that'd inevitably leak her name.
Brave thinking.

Chris was only joking when he said that there was a kid on the way; realistically speaking, if they were going to tie the knot, I think it would be a very quiet ceremony.

Flutter Weston Chandelier.

Or maybe Christine Weston Cabbage.
 
This is where we've arrived.

Going to say no. There's no confirmation that they're a couple.
Caden probably paid some random woman to be Chris’s tard wrangler and as usual, Chris started to get the hots for her and probably is pretending that she is his "future sweetheart"
let's hope they get married. maybe we'll finally get a name leaked from the ceremonies/legal stuff that'd inevitably leak her name.
If they are a couple, I doubt Egg would get married legally knowing CWC’s history.

She probably knows that by tying the knot and moving to America her name will be found.

But hey, here’s to hoping her Cabbage brain gives in!
I don't think he ever got to the donation part, he dq'd on the screening. So he may very well have robust swimmers
That would make sense since all sperm donors need to be healthy and given the fact he was taking estrogen at the time, it would have made his sperm useless.
 
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