Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

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Jeff Gazetti said:
Or maybe he’s just now getting laid regularly?
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"chris" "laid" in the same sentence is CRAZY.
chris is just acting more properly? idk how to explain that, mostly because he is on meds, under praetor influence (they most likely tell him to "not act like a retard" or stuff like that, they DO earn money from chris and him like showing his dick or something like that WOULD harm their reputation) and thinks is in an actual relationship with flutter. he prolly aint getting laid, and if he is, flutter is most likely just recording him and will at one point blackmail him.
 
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Xev said:
Nope. That 25 year old is in love with Bill Belichick and all those 25 year olds who date Madonna don't care about her money or fame ❤️
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Yeah well you pine over a long dead man while Stanley constantly lusts after you.
 
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i am a really cool monkey said:
under praetor influence (they most likely tell him to "not act like a retard" or stuff like that, they DO earn money from chris and him like showing his dick or something like that WOULD harm their reputation)
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I don't get why people say this. Wouldn't it make more sense for Praetor to want Chris to do dumb shit that draws attention? The only reason we even know who Chris is at all is because he's spent the last two decades acting like a complete retard online. Wouldn't it make more sense for Praetor to take the more hands off approach and let him do whatever dumb bullshit he'd normally do, ensuring people stay focused on him?Hell, post-merge Christory is so boring we've created a 200 page thread on some mystery woman who has not done one interesting thing whatsoever other than be near Chris. Wouldn't that only hurt Praetor's sales?
i am a really cool monkey said:
mostly because he is on meds,
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I don't know if this is confirmed or not. It also might not be the reason because IIRC he was taking Paxil for his depression and anger issues during the classic era and that clearly did not stop him from doing batshit insane things. Maybe the gateway home got him on some new shit that actually works.
 
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CFC-12 said:
I don't get why people say this. Wouldn't it make more sense for Praetor to want Chris to do dumb shit that draws attention? The only reason we even know who Chris is at all is because he's spent the last two decades acting like a complete retard online. Wouldn't it make more sense for Praetor to take the more hands off approach and let him do whatever dumb bullshit he'd normally do, ensuring people stay focused on him?Hell, post-merge Christory is so boring we've created a 200 page thread on some mystery woman who has not done one interesting thing whatsoever other than be near Chris. Wouldn't that only hurt Praetor's sales?
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Caden is trying to make him family friendly for some reason. I think he's planning to get a deal with hot topic or Spencer's or some shit like that. Like Sega and Nintendo won't shut that shit right down when they get a word about it. Maybe Etsy don't like to host incestuous rapist on their platform?

The dumb shit that come to light do boost sales but then he needs to deal with Chris's aftermath. Caden made Chris boring as hell for sure. Thank God the Etsy store is slowing down, maybe people aren't as dumb as I think they are.

Cabbage, she's an enigma, as in what is she getting from this.?
 
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Mister Baranavichy said:
I know the odds are very, very low for this, astronomically so, but what if there is actually love here?

The kind that's born from pure mental retardation/delusion, but love nonetheless?
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It's not impossible, they did go out on Valentine's Day to that pet store recently, plus all the other times they've met up. They've met up in Finland multiple times marking Chris's first time outside the United States. No one can stand being around Chris for long but she's stuck around.
 
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Mister Baranavichy said:
I know the odds are very, very low for this, astronomically so, but what if there is actually love here?

The kind that's born from pure mental retardation/delusion, but love nonetheless?
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way more likely than Praetor super spy double agent mole at this point. I've seen at least 40 different reddit reposts of troon couples that look equally as demented as these two and I wouldn't put incest, or it's toleration, past them either. The internet has rlly fucked people up.
 
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James Brown said:
way more likely than Praetor super spy double agent mole at this point. I've seen at least 40 different reddit reposts of troon couples that look equally as demented as these two and I wouldn't put incest, or it's toleration, past them either. The internet has rlly fucked people up.
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People really do have goldfish memories. Not too long before Flutter, one chick was crazy enough to reach out to Chris, and wanted to fuck him and become some sort of mommy-girlfriend of his. This is far from impossible.
 
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Just found this on google images while searching for something completely different. Chris, probably:
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James Brown said:
way more likely than Praetor super spy double agent mole at this point. I've seen at least 40 different reddit reposts of troon couples that look equally as demented as these two and I wouldn't put incest, or it's toleration, past them either. The internet has rlly fucked people up.
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Are you trying to tell me there's no grand conspiracy?

That I'm going to have to throw away my tin foil hats and 20-year-old spam?

Well that's the thing well done isn't it.
 
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Gonna update it when I am more free, I kinda stepped away from Christory now, but I saw a new Flutter sighting on the CWCki.
w9luk2z7more1.jpg
I saw a few people on CWCki who tried to debunk this, but Chris had the same exact hair in that yesterday's livestream, looks like him, Flutter has the same hair as in the previous sightings too and is considerably smaller than Chris if we take perspective into account. I'd say, albeit idk if my voice even matters that much anymore, that this is a pretty clear Chris and Flutter sighting, especially as Flutter is currently in the US, as evidenced by the Valentines Day sighting a month ago.

Considering it's almost the time of the last year's trip and the fact he announced more filler content (AI covers and Transformers reviews), I'd say he's also getting ready for the fourth Finland visit. If he randomly stops posting online and this rolls out on his Youtube, you can be certain of it. He even said he's probably gonna stop streaming soon.
 
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Zeus Blue Thunder said:
Gonna update it when I am more free, I kinda stepped away from Christory now, but I saw a new Flutter sighting on the CWCki.
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I saw a few people on CWCki who tried to debunk this, but Chris had the same exact hair in that yesterday's livestream, looks like him, Flutter has the same hair as in the stream too and is considerably smaller than Chris if we take perspective into account. I'd say, albeit idk if my voice even matters that much anymore, that this is a pretty clear Chris and Flutter sighting, especially as Flutter is currently in the US, as evidenced by the Valentines Day sighting a month ago.

Considering it's almost the time of the last year's trip and the fact he announced more filler content (AI covers and Transformers reviews), I'd say he's also getting ready for the fourth Finland visit. If he randomly stops posting online and this rolls out on his Youtube, you can be certain of it. He even said he's probably gonna stop streaming soon.
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Wait a minute flutter was in a live stream with Chris?

Was she holding a cabbage over her face the whole time or did she just turn around with sunglasses on her head?
 
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King Kiwi said:
Wait a minute flutter was in a live stream with Chris?

Was she holding a cabbage over her face the whole time or did she just turn around with sunglasses on her head?
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Thanks for pointing out the error! I meant to say "previous sightings". I probably should proofcheck it better...
 
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Zeus Blue Thunder said:
Thanks for pointing out the error! I meant to say "previous sightings". I probably should proofcheck it better...
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Heads of cabbage are going to rolllll for this!

Oh I guess you're welcome.

Although maybe if she hid under a t-shirt in the corner or stood behind a coat rack Chris would get more money.

But I guess he doesn't want to do things that would make more money huh?
 
Even if we knew for a fact that the person in the middle of the pic was indeed Chris (one should note this was taken at a different angle and minor differences in appearance, like hair volume, do tend to happen in photos), I sorta have doubts he was with Flutter in the pic. That looks way too tall to be her, plus Flutter's hair (from the pics we do have of her) is a lot lighter than that.


For reference, here's the Valetine's Day pic:

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For reference, the way it's currently worded on the CWCki is:
"On 17 March 2025, Chris and Flutter were spotted and photographed at a Food Lion. The photo wasn't known until 29 March 2025, when someone sent it to Reddit user lolcow-docs."

My suggestion would probably be to remove the part with Flutter, since we don't know for sure if that's actually her, and possibly mention that Chris was allegedly spotted, since we don't know definatively.
 
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