Fun sayings or expressions that you know of

[We Are The Witches]

They can be in any language, but if not in english, you must translate & explain them. So far I will only provide a couple because they are funny to me.
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- Tiene más trampa que una película de chinos.

Translated from spanish as: "it has more traps (cheating/trickery) than a chinese movie". I love this one and makes me laugh, it's usually said to describe something or a situation that could be misleading, dangerous, tricky, or difficult.

- Es una merienda de negros.

Literally translated from spanish as: "it's a blacks' (people) afternoon-snack". Which has racist connotations, and is used to describe something chaotic, loud or in a high state of confusion or disorder. It apparently has roots when the slaves congregated during break, and started dancing, singing and making sound, so the overseers/supervisors coined it as that.

- Not my circus, not my monkey.

I believe its origin is from Poland, and is used for situations where it would be wiser to stay away, than to involve yourself with whatever conflict or problem there is.

- Strike while the iron is hot.

I kind of like this one, used when you express the idea that you should take the opportunity as soon as possible, while it's there.

 

[capeshit]

capeshit - describes posts that use comic book logic. Most gov propaganda is capeshit.

 

[herefortheactualthreads]

"la chancla" = tomahawk of your mom

chinga tu madre gringo = fuck your mom huwite boi

 

[Rango Dango]

- Not my circus, not my monkey.

I believe its origin is from Poland, and is used for situations where it would be wiser to stay away, than to involve yourself with whatever conflict or problem there is.

I had to google it, and apparently it's real, I've never heard of it before

I want to contribute to the thread, as irl I often sayings, but I can't really think of any right now

there's the classic "raz w dupę to nie pedał" - one time in the ass doesn't make you a faggot
sometimes people extend it with "za drugim razem, to po przyjacielsku a za trzecim razem się zeruje" - the second time it's between friends and the third time it zeroes

we often use "chuj" - cock to mean "nothing" and the word "obchodzi" means interests or walking around [something] so when people say "it doesn't interest me" - chuj mnie to obchodzi it technically can be interpreted as a penis is walking around me which i find somewhat amusing

 

[oldTireWater]

"Riding the struggle-bus" - I get tired of hearing this one, but it's evocative of someone who's just fucking hurting at what whatever they're trying to do. Uses can range from trying to stay awake behind the wheel to public speaking or organizing a bunch of people to accomplish a complex task.

- Not my circus, not my monkey.

A slightly related phrase is "I'm fucking the monkey here! You just holding his motherfucking tail!" Used to assert leadership and spoken with a heavy Puerto-Rican accent.

"Fucked up like dick cancer" - Self explanatory and not one I've heard very often.

"Dick-on-dick gay" - I've only seen this one in writing but I get a kick out of it. It's an euphemism for a "fair" gunfight . . . one where nobody is having a good time.

 

[MrTroll]

"More retarded than a kiwi"

 

[MF-690T]

"What is this Mickey Mouse shit?" - from Full Metal Jacket
"This guy can't {verb} his way out of a paper bag." - indicates general incompetence, I first heard it when Trump was dunking on Jeb Bush a long time ago.
Pontiac - "Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac" - not sure if this counts, but my father would always bitch about people driving those things growing up.
"Do you think I just fell off the turnip truck?" - have no idea where this originated, mostly used when someone assumes you're stupider than you really are

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I'm very fond of the Scottish Gaelic phase bod a' chac, which translates literally as "penis of shit" and I think that's wonderful.

 

[Eddie Riggs]

"Expect shit from shit, and you'll never be disappointed"

 

[Tablet County]

I know George Carlin is persona non grata nowadays, but "it's all bullshit and it's bad for ya" still rings true to this very day.
"[X] couldn't pour water out of a boot if there were instructions on the heel."
"The press is a gang of cruel faggots."
From reading Shogun I remember two turns of phrase that stuck out to me, but the important one being "Christ Jesus". The dutch sailors and the bong protagonist would say this for some reason and I always found it funny.

 

[The Evil Midnight Bomber]

Don't let the door hit ya were the good lord split ya.

 

[Grundlejungle]

"all of the subtlety of two skeletons fucking in a trash can."

 

[Double Taps]

One I heard from a married friend when he was getting hit on at a group hangout, he said "why have chicken when I can have steak". Suffice to say the other person didn't take it all that well.

 

[Judex Meus]

Suck start a shotgun

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

Drinking in front of your friends is all fun and games, drinking in front of your family brings nothing but pain.

 

[Gorton Colu]

Siete mil en las tetas
Se pone putona
Se pone tacona
Labios de chupona
Barbie de silicona
La chica de goma
Siete mil en las tetas
Lo que sobra en las Jordan

I won't translate it, but it's about OP's mom.

 

[Levi]

"Raison d'etre" -One's reason for existence.
"When you laugh, you laugh with the world. When you cry, you cry alone" - a quote from a poem call "Solitude".

 

[Shine-369]

“Slower than a whale fart” Heard my foreman yelling at some guy on the site and it made me laugh.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

The devils beating his wife-its raining while sunny

 

[Ed Special]

I had to google it, and apparently it's real, I've never heard of it before

Us unfortunate enough to live in Coontown tend to use "Clowns" instead of "Monkeys", but yes, that's a pretty common saying.

- Bless your heart.
Literally anything from "I love you" or "That's cute" to "Fuck you, asshole" or "You are the stupidest, dumbest, vantablackest giganigger I've ever met and I hope you get hit by a train"

"all of the subtlety of two skeletons fucking in a trash can."

"And buddy, we didn't line the can - that costs extra"