funny/dumb dsp quotes

[Sparkletor 2.0]

"I rarely drink every night"

"We have a custom laundry system" (Two clothes hampers, one for whites and one for colors)

"Park mode"

"I myself am a former professional fighting game player"

"I can pick up any game and play at a professional level"

"It was an amicable split. Leanna and I still talk"

"That watchmojo video was literally untrue. They said I accidentally streamed myself masturbating on Twitch. That never happened. It was on YouTube"

 

[Prince Lotor]

"There's this stupid meme that my laugh sounds like: 'Ack Ack Ack'. . .
. . .but NEVER have I EVER in my life said: 'Ack. .ACK. .ACK!!!"


Also the end part to the watchmojo quote is: "That never happened. It was on YouTube, not Twitch, and it wasn't an accident."

 

[Wurstbrot]

"The world isn't black and white. This is your shortcoming, not mine."

"The money is mine and I want the money."

 

[Preferred Penne]

"The money is mine and I want the money."

You sure you're not thinking of Vegas Vacation?

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

"Cats don't meow to other cats. They only meow to humans..."

Real Cat Fight ( Watch With Sound)

A fight between two cats recorded lively.

youtu.be

"The mascot for U Conn, the University of Connecticut, is a husky. I don't know why since husky dogs aren't a native species in Connecticut"

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

“I’m the lawlcow”
“You wanna know the truth? I’m probably one of the best overall gamers in the country.”
“At any moment, I could pick up a controller and play any game at a professional level.”
“I’m a mature adult with a business degree”
“Time to grow the fuck up!”
“Basically, here's a whiny baby”
“PHIL REALLY IS A TOXIC PERSON, SO WE’RE GONNA KEEP SAYING ‘WHY AM I TOXIC?’ CUZ IT’S A MEME!”
“I’m a crotchety 36-year-old streamer and I don’t like da memes, so I ban them from my chat.”

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

"There's this stupid meme that my laugh sounds like: 'Ack Ack Ack'. . .
. . .but NEVER have I EVER in my life said: 'Ack. .ACK. .ACK!!!"


Also the end part to the watchmojo quote is: "That never happened. It was on YouTube, not Twitch, and it wasn't an accident."

“Now, ladies and gentlemen, when I laugh, do I say ACK ACK ACK?”

 

[Cuatro Vaginas]

"Do you know how rude it is to ask people about money?"

"I told yoUUUUUU to BUUUYYYYYY THE FIGUREEEEEEE....WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"I'll give you this advice. If you are a parent and your kid definitely tells you they want something and you see it ahead of time, YOU FUCKING BUY IT"

 

[huffysan]

"John, are you ready for some pedophilia action?" - great out of context quote.

 

[DoubleBored]

"...There's 60 dollars. I paid them their fee to utilize the ingredients to make my work of art"

I'll always laugh at this quote.

 

[werbwub]

"I'm gay I'm gay totally gay"

"ah yes this fight was totally fair"

"You see what the jews do in space"

"it's not my fault the game is a piece of shit"

"nigger nigger nigger nigger"(he was apparently saying "digger")

"the next time the ambulance shows up you cannot take Leanna"

" I am Issac heimler eliminating the jews from space"

"Why did I die, I dodged the attack"

"You see the game is delayed"

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

"You just got caught red handed with your hand in the cookie jar, dude."
That's some meta stuff right there. Combining expressions is some next level stuff.

 

[TVB]

Kid: "Can I please go in the waiting room?"

Phil: [confused] "Sure? Where's the waiting room?"

Kid: "Right behind ya idiot! Click on it!"

Phil: "You don't have to call me an idiot, I just walked into the door. I'm just tryin' to figure out what's goin' on."

...

Phil: "...wow," [looks angry] ",you're quite rude."

Kid: "Well... [snarky] I'm eleven."

Phil: [surprised] "You're eleven?"

Kid: "Yes!"

Phil: "And your parents bought you a gaming PC? What's wrong with this picture??"

...

Phil: "Good, now I'm away from that bitch of a kid of whom I fuckin' wanna slap in real fuckin' life if they talk to me like that. ACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACK!! I woulda pimp slap the shit outta dat kid."

 

[Pargon]

He doesn't do them much anymore because he's slowly just devolving into an uncooked ham but his frantic, high-pitched "What?!"s are glorious. There's a point in his first Scarface playthrough where he fucks himself over by neglecting to make a getaway with an essential NPC and doesn't realize it. When he gets the Mission Failure pop-up he does two in a row with a 3-5 second beat between them that's just long enough to make it hilarious.

Also, from the same playthrough:

"Fucking car blahked me!"

 

[millais]

"They think it's funny to bring that shit up... Look another one... FALLGOUT! How is this funny? Like what is funny about that?"

 

[Fallgout Boy]

"They think it's funny to bring that shit up... Look another one... FALLGOUT! How is this funny? Like what is funny about that?"

Yeah, only a braindead, immature mahrahn would find that funny!

Incidentally, I went to go look at the clip because it's hilarious, and I was blessed with "shooting off the cuff":

Wrapped in two "I'm going to be honest here"s with a couple of lip smacks on top.

 

[huffysan]

"My button is de-pressed".

 

[74 Screaming Armadillos]

"I pressed no button of mine!"

- DarksydePhillip

 

[millais]

Yeah, only a braindead, immature mahrahn would find that funny!

Incidentally, I went to go look at the clip because it's hilarious, and I was blessed with "shooting off the cuff":

Wrapped in two "I'm going to be honest here"s with a couple of lip smacks on top.

the comedic timing on the "Fallgout" quote is just perfect, it's impossible to capture it in text form.

 

[Slimy Time]

"And now, turn the ovens on". I don't know why, but that line still makes me laugh a little. It's like he toes the line with all those Jew jokes, how they have big noses, how they are rude, and then to erase any doubt that he's larping as a Nazi, he just throws that out.