Funny Jokes

Did you guys hear about the fist gay marriage in Irish history? It was between Ryan Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzryan.
 
What's green and red and crawls up a womans leg? a home sick abortion

What's black and screams? Stevie wonder answering the iron

What do you call it when batman leaves church? Christian Bale

What's the best thing about shagging twenty four year olds? there's twenty of them

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

What do you call a paki builder? Ahmed ashed

What do you call a paki between two buildings? Ali

What do you call a paki that doesn't smell? Asif

What do you call an invisible paki? Ameer
 
A Jewish woman is leaving the garment district to go home from work. Suddenly a dirty old man who has been walking towards her, stands in front of her, blocks her path, whips open his raincoat and flashes her. She looks at him and says, "You call that a lining?"
 
i was driving in my car going down i-4 and there was an advertisement for boardwalk burgers, which is like this little shitty burger spot where like homeless people i guess just throw them on a grill or something and the sign said "come try the new boardwalk burgers" and i saw it out of the corner of my eyes and i was like boardwalk burgers, more like bored burgers, cuz the bored burgers aren't having any fun, and i loved it. it was my favorite joke i've ever told.
 
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