Funny Tommy Tooter quotes - because clearly there are way too many of them

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BE 911

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Tom has been posting on the internet for decades now and has a million funny quotes to choose from, so let's try to see which ones of his own writings are the funniest.

This is a personal favorite of mine.

tommy tooter im not a racist.png
 
His insults are some pretty funny quotes of his as well.

"Mean Millennial Mental Midgets" and "Fascist Furry Fucktards" are just two that come to mind.

EDIT: I also remember seeing this quoted as a random.txt, got curious to know who said it, and wouldn't you know........:story:

casting spells at me are you? that's risky business doing that to somebody like me. i have spirit guardians. the real kind. not ones that got conjured up in a video game.
 
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I think this is a quote by him:

”i've actually been talking to authorities about internet crime since january 19, 1999 and haven't gotten a fucking thing done.”
 
Thomas "OG Shartlord" Jay Wasserberg said:
you were a total failure as my mother, refusing to listen to any of my issues. i have very bad hormonal problems because of my intersexed condition and have always had poor bladder and sphincter control because of it, but you mashed my soiled underwear in my face to "toilet train" me instead of listening to me.
https://archive.fo/yxFoP
 

From the video above where Tommy once again gets pranked by a Bob Chandler soundboard:

Tommy: Go ahead uh...chickenshit anonymous caller, what have you got to say?
"Bob Chandler": Hello?
Tommy: Hello.
"Bob Chandler": Who is this?
Tommy: You called me, you tell me. I'm on the air, you know who I am, who are you, and why are you calling?
"Bob Chandler": I didn't call you!
Tommy: You didn't call me?
"Bob Chandler": I didn't call you!
Tommy: Yeah, the fuck you didn't, goodbye. hangs up See, that's called gaslighting.

:story:
 
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"My family's been in electrical and electronic engineering for over a hundred years. And I grew up with shit in my pants"

 
Whenever he calls us pedophiles and mental midgets because we say he’s a pedo. And plus 2 when he adds “I’m not attracted to nobody! They’ve got to prove they love me and are trustable before I’m attracted” added bonus when a couple hours later he’s running to the store for lube, condoms, and cucumbers
 
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