MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!! (SEASON 3!)
ELSA…
…VS…
…ELPHABA!!!!!!!!!!!
BEGIN!
• Elsa the Snow Queen: •
My skill's unlimited; each line unique as every flake of snow!
The
Trolls have
prophesied your meltdown when you face my frigid flow.
Won't hide the
unadulterated loathing for you that I feel;
Like
Muppet rejects at the Tonys, all your glory I shall steal!
An icy icon in the making since the Disney days of old,
Who'll keep it chill through all your disses; sooner bothered by the cold.
When
Anna whined for me to play, I'd shut her out like I was told,
But when they asked me, "
Do You Want to Build a Franchise?" I was sold!
Go through your trapdoor and retreat the way you hauled it
Out of Oz,
Before I skewer you
For Good to
"Dings" and "Dongs" and mass applause!
Even
Fiyero still has brains enough to know you've not a hope in this:
Outdoing your entire
Grimmerie of hocus-pocus tricks,
And as for
Popularity, forget the
Shiz you've heard,
'Cause next to me,
your girlfriend doesn't know the
meaning of the word!
I'm like the
Tin Man: heartless to you when I brew a verbal blizzard!
Know the gloves are off; I'll screw you over worse than any
Wizard.
For the Last Time in Forever now, your lights are getting doused;
Just like that twister did
your sister in, I'm bringing down the house!
• Elphaba the Wicked Witch of the West: •
They say each story has two sides, but this'll be a straight-up slaughter;
Make you vanish like my namesake saint behind a veil of water.
Not That Theodora Girl or some
one-eyed, dried-up old crone,
Nor do I hail from
Southern lands, but still I'm coming for your throne!
This pretty dame's more like a little dog as far as I'm concerned:
You're undeserving of your title; let
your auntie out her urn!
Step to the Triple-W? Your nerve is more than I can stomach:
Crossing me's far from a
Good Deed, but it still won't go unpunished!
Had the bite to match my bark right from the time I left the womb;
I'm still more down-to-Earth than you while taking flight upon my broom!
You've
Let your Sanity Go, blondie: your word-craft's bereft of taste;
And here I thought
your long-lost brother was the one raised by the apes.
Your brain is Frozen if you think you'll thrive through throwing down with Thropp;
Unlike my junk, there's not a doubt which witch is coming out on top!
But
One Short Minute's all it's gonna take for me to clean your clock,
With Wicked words whose verbal vitriol no act of love can stop,
When they all strike your heart and end the
Life that you've been Dancing Through;
No One will Mourn me, 'cause the only one who's dying here is
you.
• Elsa: •
I'll get your Goat
Something Worse than what they did to
Doctor Dillamond;
Even the
Emerald City ain't got nothing on my brilliance!
It's clear you're green with envy, even with your skin aside;
In facing me, your situation's
Gravity can't be Defied!
• Elphaba: •
Your wretched raps are like my poppies: potent at inducing slumber,
But I need no
winged monkeys' help to tear your straight-asunder!
I drop Ludicrously Fearsome Bombs! There's no way you can match this;
Butchering you worse than
John Travolta's naming of our actress.
