- Joined
- May 20, 2019
So me and a couple friends decided to head to Richmond virginia for this year's Galaxycon, for context the Richmond convention center it was being held in isn't the biggest venue for events like this but it isn't exactly anything to sneeze at. On previous years the convention's organizers have been able to make things work relatively well given the resources they have, now this obviously isn't D.C. or anything but as far as scale is concerned it can be a fun time. Not this year.
So to start the celebrity guest list this year was actually pretty interesting (including one massive outlier). Jerry trainor from iCarly, a handful of wrestling personalities, half the supporting cast of the Twilight films, the crew from the critical role d&d podcast, plenty of voice actors, William shatner (who's somewhat of a regular) and the cast and creators of hazbin hotel/helluva boss to name some of the more notable guests alongside a cavalcade of figures from the comic book industry. But one name that was plastered all over the advertisements for the convention (and in my opinion was potentially the undoing of the entire event) was Weird Al Yankovic.
For a bit of context as well the website for the convention was more than a little bare bones in terms of information regarding events and attractions, the most you could find was the guest list and some information regarding who would show up on what day (for some but not all of them mind you). What cought our eyes was obviously Weird Al, I personally wanted to try and meet Mick Foley, and they also had advertised some table top gaming spaces and a rave. Everyone in my group plays magic but we weren't exactly jumping at the chance to play cards with a bunch of sweaty fat fucks at a con but it could have worked as a back up plan if things went a bit south.
Then came the day. I was the only person in my group going in any sort of cosplay so I needed to take a bit of extra time in the morning to apply makeup and get everything ready, The costume involved a mask and a dress suit so I knew I was probably going to have some issues with overheating but I thought it would be fine considering most conventions will usually have a cosplay lounge where guests that are wearing costumes can sit and cool off for a bit. The first red flag for me was when my friends couldn't even confirm what was going on on the day that we had got our tickets for, we had assumed since most of the celebrities that we were trying to see were listed as showing up on Saturday then that must be the day where they had the most attractions scheduled for considering that would be their peak operating day.
Upon arriving it became incredibly clear that the convention organizers had no idea how big a draw Weird Al and the hazbin hotel cast was going to be considering that the entrance was consumed by a giant switchback cue that took nearly an hour to get through (also as a plus the road that they cordoned off for the line was directly underneath the balcony that the convention goers were using as an impromptu smoking section). After finally making it inside we got our badges and I needed to have a prop checked, the "convention staff" at the table were both glassy-eyed Hispanic 20 some things that seem like they did not want to be there at all and immediately just took the prop that I had out of my hand and tagged it without even looking at it. I had also noticed as the day went on that it seemed like they just weren't checking most props entirely considering how many people were able to enter the building with airsoft replicas of real world guns that didn't have orange tips and weren't tagged at all so I guess I did it for nothing. Making our way into the main convention hall wasn't any better either, as the entirety of the hallway leading into the convention hallway was completely full of people constantly having to shift out of the way of motorized wheelchairs because there was absolutely no crowd control to speak of. The main exhibition hall itself wasn't any better as there was almost no room to actually physically move around and for whatever reason the convention organizers thought it would be a good idea to disable every single water fountain on the first floor of the building.
Less than 5 minutes into trying to look at the vendor stalls on artist Alley both of my friends had to tap out and go to the bathroom to splash water on their faces to keep themselves from overheating, mind you I was doing all of this in a suit jacket and a rubber mask so I wasn't exactly feeling great either but I was able to hold out for a bit longer than they were. While waiting for them to get out of the bathroom I was walking around looking for somewhere to sit and every single wall was occupied with people typing on their phones and funnily enough it looked like all of them were on a nearly identical looking website, as I came to find out later after one of my friends managed to happen upon the exact same website for funnily enough the exact same reason it turns out they had all been simultaneously review bombing the event for the reasons listed so far and some more that I'm about to get into.
So artist Alley was a bust, fine, but we were still holding onto a little glimmer of hope that maybe we'd actually get a table selfie or something with some of the celebrities that we were interested in seeing. As it turns out Weird Al draws a pretty big fucking crowd so his line was just blocking even more traffic and after walking around for a little bit longer before finally leaving the exhibit hall we figured out no one else that we were looking forward to seeing was even there anymore. At this point we checked the convention guide that we are given at the table where we got our badges. Apparently for whatever reason it turns out that the majority of the events that we were looking forward to seeing were all scheduled on Thursday and Friday and the only way we would have known that was the guide we just got when we showed up. After walking around for a bit longer we were able to take respite in a few empty panels including a q&A with the cast of the show West Wing and an absolutely bizarre celebrity feet trivia quiz hosted by a female comedian who seemed downright disturbed by how knowledgeable her audience was. I suggested that maybe before we just leave entirely we could check out the cosplay lounge and see if we could interact with anyone else who had shown up and see if they were able to do any of the things that they were planning on as well.
Well we found the cosplay lounge, and by cosplay lounge the event organizers apparently meant a sign next to three benches in a main thoroughfare hallway, all the seats of which were occupied with cosplayers who were visibly pissed and one who was crying. this is when we decided to just cut our losses and head back to a friend's place to wait out the day until some of the after hours events took place. While the rave was apparently scheduled for a different day and absolutely no one was told about this until they got their event guide there was also an "emo music dance party" and a cosplay burlesque show scheduled for later that night, as well as an adult market for very specific vendors and an event listed only as "hentai coloring".
After grabbing a bite to eat and resting for a bit we ended up heading back to the convention hall at about the time where all of the after hours events were going to be taking place. When we got there most of the building was nearly entirely empty aside from a few stragglers who were hanging out in the deserted hallways on their phones, I'm guessing messaging their rides home or trying to get Ubers.
First up was the "emo dance party", it was being held in one of the conference rooms and was about what one would expect, 10$ drinks included so that was a bust. Second up was the adult market which was held in a space the size of my living room, the star attraction being a stall selling animal themed sex toys as well as a black woman trying to sell pole dancing lessons and a booth for "tasteful cosplay nudes". Third was "hentai coloring". We obviously weren't expecting to do more than pop in and observe the kind of people who would be partaking in something this obviously cringe inducing but by God was that room fucking packed. Standing room only, filled with the exact calibre of individual you're imagining in your head right now.
Last up for the night was cosplay caberet presented by Brian O'Halloran from clerks. At this point we were all just completely shot and had begun to realize that this had been a total waste of our money, but we still had some time until our parking was up so we decided it wouldn't hurt to sit in for a few sets before we left. The first set was a woman dressed as princess leia who wasn't much to write home about. The second was a gay dude dressed as Iceman from the X-Men doing a hula hoop contorsionist routine set to a trap remix of let it snow that ended with him flashing his ass to the crowd. Third was a woman who spent the first half of her routine singing a song from Mary Poppins and playing with a plastic bird before doing some sort of can can dance and balancing spoons on her nipples. And the final set we saw consisted of a they/them black man in a leather cat suit pole dancing and slapping his balls while bouncing up and down on a private table occupied by two guys in cowboy hats and the most dead on accurate Deadpool cosplayer I've ever seen
I had 4 people take my picture and had about a dozen others recognize who I was so I guess it wasn't a total bust on that front but afterwords we haven't been able to shake the feeling that we got fucking scammed and we would have been better off just not going, especially considering how far out one of our friends came from just to get let down like this. We're also having to watch out since apparently people don't know how to wash themselves and not go to conventions sick and I might have cought something while there.
So to start the celebrity guest list this year was actually pretty interesting (including one massive outlier). Jerry trainor from iCarly, a handful of wrestling personalities, half the supporting cast of the Twilight films, the crew from the critical role d&d podcast, plenty of voice actors, William shatner (who's somewhat of a regular) and the cast and creators of hazbin hotel/helluva boss to name some of the more notable guests alongside a cavalcade of figures from the comic book industry. But one name that was plastered all over the advertisements for the convention (and in my opinion was potentially the undoing of the entire event) was Weird Al Yankovic.
For a bit of context as well the website for the convention was more than a little bare bones in terms of information regarding events and attractions, the most you could find was the guest list and some information regarding who would show up on what day (for some but not all of them mind you). What cought our eyes was obviously Weird Al, I personally wanted to try and meet Mick Foley, and they also had advertised some table top gaming spaces and a rave. Everyone in my group plays magic but we weren't exactly jumping at the chance to play cards with a bunch of sweaty fat fucks at a con but it could have worked as a back up plan if things went a bit south.
Then came the day. I was the only person in my group going in any sort of cosplay so I needed to take a bit of extra time in the morning to apply makeup and get everything ready, The costume involved a mask and a dress suit so I knew I was probably going to have some issues with overheating but I thought it would be fine considering most conventions will usually have a cosplay lounge where guests that are wearing costumes can sit and cool off for a bit. The first red flag for me was when my friends couldn't even confirm what was going on on the day that we had got our tickets for, we had assumed since most of the celebrities that we were trying to see were listed as showing up on Saturday then that must be the day where they had the most attractions scheduled for considering that would be their peak operating day.
Upon arriving it became incredibly clear that the convention organizers had no idea how big a draw Weird Al and the hazbin hotel cast was going to be considering that the entrance was consumed by a giant switchback cue that took nearly an hour to get through (also as a plus the road that they cordoned off for the line was directly underneath the balcony that the convention goers were using as an impromptu smoking section). After finally making it inside we got our badges and I needed to have a prop checked, the "convention staff" at the table were both glassy-eyed Hispanic 20 some things that seem like they did not want to be there at all and immediately just took the prop that I had out of my hand and tagged it without even looking at it. I had also noticed as the day went on that it seemed like they just weren't checking most props entirely considering how many people were able to enter the building with airsoft replicas of real world guns that didn't have orange tips and weren't tagged at all so I guess I did it for nothing. Making our way into the main convention hall wasn't any better either, as the entirety of the hallway leading into the convention hallway was completely full of people constantly having to shift out of the way of motorized wheelchairs because there was absolutely no crowd control to speak of. The main exhibition hall itself wasn't any better as there was almost no room to actually physically move around and for whatever reason the convention organizers thought it would be a good idea to disable every single water fountain on the first floor of the building.
Less than 5 minutes into trying to look at the vendor stalls on artist Alley both of my friends had to tap out and go to the bathroom to splash water on their faces to keep themselves from overheating, mind you I was doing all of this in a suit jacket and a rubber mask so I wasn't exactly feeling great either but I was able to hold out for a bit longer than they were. While waiting for them to get out of the bathroom I was walking around looking for somewhere to sit and every single wall was occupied with people typing on their phones and funnily enough it looked like all of them were on a nearly identical looking website, as I came to find out later after one of my friends managed to happen upon the exact same website for funnily enough the exact same reason it turns out they had all been simultaneously review bombing the event for the reasons listed so far and some more that I'm about to get into.
So artist Alley was a bust, fine, but we were still holding onto a little glimmer of hope that maybe we'd actually get a table selfie or something with some of the celebrities that we were interested in seeing. As it turns out Weird Al draws a pretty big fucking crowd so his line was just blocking even more traffic and after walking around for a little bit longer before finally leaving the exhibit hall we figured out no one else that we were looking forward to seeing was even there anymore. At this point we checked the convention guide that we are given at the table where we got our badges. Apparently for whatever reason it turns out that the majority of the events that we were looking forward to seeing were all scheduled on Thursday and Friday and the only way we would have known that was the guide we just got when we showed up. After walking around for a bit longer we were able to take respite in a few empty panels including a q&A with the cast of the show West Wing and an absolutely bizarre celebrity feet trivia quiz hosted by a female comedian who seemed downright disturbed by how knowledgeable her audience was. I suggested that maybe before we just leave entirely we could check out the cosplay lounge and see if we could interact with anyone else who had shown up and see if they were able to do any of the things that they were planning on as well.
Well we found the cosplay lounge, and by cosplay lounge the event organizers apparently meant a sign next to three benches in a main thoroughfare hallway, all the seats of which were occupied with cosplayers who were visibly pissed and one who was crying. this is when we decided to just cut our losses and head back to a friend's place to wait out the day until some of the after hours events took place. While the rave was apparently scheduled for a different day and absolutely no one was told about this until they got their event guide there was also an "emo music dance party" and a cosplay burlesque show scheduled for later that night, as well as an adult market for very specific vendors and an event listed only as "hentai coloring".
After grabbing a bite to eat and resting for a bit we ended up heading back to the convention hall at about the time where all of the after hours events were going to be taking place. When we got there most of the building was nearly entirely empty aside from a few stragglers who were hanging out in the deserted hallways on their phones, I'm guessing messaging their rides home or trying to get Ubers.
First up was the "emo dance party", it was being held in one of the conference rooms and was about what one would expect, 10$ drinks included so that was a bust. Second up was the adult market which was held in a space the size of my living room, the star attraction being a stall selling animal themed sex toys as well as a black woman trying to sell pole dancing lessons and a booth for "tasteful cosplay nudes". Third was "hentai coloring". We obviously weren't expecting to do more than pop in and observe the kind of people who would be partaking in something this obviously cringe inducing but by God was that room fucking packed. Standing room only, filled with the exact calibre of individual you're imagining in your head right now.
Last up for the night was cosplay caberet presented by Brian O'Halloran from clerks. At this point we were all just completely shot and had begun to realize that this had been a total waste of our money, but we still had some time until our parking was up so we decided it wouldn't hurt to sit in for a few sets before we left. The first set was a woman dressed as princess leia who wasn't much to write home about. The second was a gay dude dressed as Iceman from the X-Men doing a hula hoop contorsionist routine set to a trap remix of let it snow that ended with him flashing his ass to the crowd. Third was a woman who spent the first half of her routine singing a song from Mary Poppins and playing with a plastic bird before doing some sort of can can dance and balancing spoons on her nipples. And the final set we saw consisted of a they/them black man in a leather cat suit pole dancing and slapping his balls while bouncing up and down on a private table occupied by two guys in cowboy hats and the most dead on accurate Deadpool cosplayer I've ever seen
I had 4 people take my picture and had about a dozen others recognize who I was so I guess it wasn't a total bust on that front but afterwords we haven't been able to shake the feeling that we got fucking scammed and we would have been better off just not going, especially considering how far out one of our friends came from just to get let down like this. We're also having to watch out since apparently people don't know how to wash themselves and not go to conventions sick and I might have cought something while there.
