Garbage Gaming Articles

[Nick Gars]

I didn't see a thread regarding this topic, and I tend to encounter genuinely useless, pointless, absolutely stupid gaming articles on a daily basis. If this thread doesn't quite fit, or there's a similar thread I couldn't find, feel free to move or delete the thread. I'm aware of the "Culture Wars" thread, but this is to discuss just straight up garbage articles. If an article you post is better suited for that thread, please post it there.

My article for today is: What constitutes a "secret" these days.

Archive: https://archive.ph/wip/mKzMH

In this article, we see a journalist desperately trying to justify their existence. Did you guys know, you can press SELECT to change the order of Pokemon's moves?!

The first generation Pokemon games have literal libraries worth of documentation on how utterly broken and exploitable the games are, and re-ordering moves plays a part in many glitches and exploits. This is not a "hidden secret", this is fucking common knowledge. This dumb bitch gets paid for this shit.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Just about every opinion based gaming article counts. You'd either have people injecting modern day politics where there is no logic, or people way overthinking gameplay features and plots.

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

What in the fuck is that URL

 

[Nick Gars]

What in the fuck is that URL

Fixed. A lot of articles come through Google news feed, apparently anything linked from there's gets a lot of garbage linking info in the URL.

 

[Toolbox]

Fixed. A lot of articles come through Google news feed, apparently anything linked from there's gets a lot of garbage linking info in the URL.

The link you replaced it with already seems broken as well.

 

[Cod of War]

I see this all the time. Some redditor discovers something that is already known and some journo make an article out of it. There was this week where I think GameRant or ScreenRant just had article after article of "unknown" stuff in Skyrim. Hell, GameRant just did this: https://gamerant.com/fallout-hidden-locations/ and they fucked that up because #1 is from Fallout 3.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Maybe the Games Journalism General thread might be of interest to you as well?

I don't read gaming sites any more, and don't know any one else that does because they're all trash.

I remember one article (I don't have the link) that was some trash tier listicle that was just stolen content from Tumblr. The way the Tumblr posts were embeded allowed the people who owned those blogs to edit the posts and have them appear in the article. So now, when people read the article, it's nothing but a title and a few lines of journo opinion followed by Wario memes.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Eurogamer had an article written by a lady who straight up said she didn't play games or had any interest in them, so the article was about her working a summer job and she also had tetris on her phone which she played sometimes. I read the whole thing wondering if there would be a point to it all but there wasn't. It's an article I remember because it was so weird.

 

[Dysnomia]

Reddit user Jedi_Lucky1 recently discovered that Pokémon Red and Blue players could reorder a Pokémon’s moves within the slots provided. The user uploaded a video to Reddit showing fellow players how to do so using the Game Boy’s ‘Select’ button and needless to say, thousands shared in his astonishment.

Zoomer discovers "hidden" feature in 25 year old game that was probably released before he began cell division. Good God what will these intrepid explorers stumble upon next?

I consider a secret any feature that isn't detailed in the manual, not hinted at in game or hinted at in a vague way that many players may miss if they aren't careful. When Insomniac introduced skill points in its games it gave players who like doing weird random things an incentive to try them all out. These were kind of like proto-achievements.

Eurogamer had an article written by a lady who straight up said she didn't play games or had any interest in them, so the article was about her working a summer job and she also had tetris on her phone which she played sometimes. I read the whole thing wondering if there would be a point to it all but there wasn't. It's an article I remember because it was so weird.

Sounds like they needed a "women are gamers too" article that just cemented the fact that many of them are casuals who download a few phone games to waste time. Those of us who play less casual fare don't really get decent articles aimed at us because someone has to make sure they tell you how female and gamer and oppressed they are every paragraph.

There's a thread somewhere around here about some tranny who used Cloud's crossdressing quest in Final Fantasy 7 to discover his emerging transness. Cloud isn't even a tranny. It's a one time quest and he does not crossdress again.

I see this all the time. Some redditor discovers something that is already known and some journo make an article out of it. There was this week where I think GameRant or ScreenRant just had article after article of "unknown" stuff in Skyrim. Hell, GameRant just did this: https://gamerant.com/fallout-hidden-locations/ and they fucked that up because #1 is from Fallout 3.

They probably didn't play the games. They just googled Fallout and copied the info in their own words without paying attention to which game it came from.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Kotaku is the pristine choice for garbage gaming articles, since for some reason they always have to involve wanting to make male characters more explicitly sexualized (or gay) in action games for some reason.