Genuine Conversation in the Year of Our Lord Twenty-Thousand and Twenty-One

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

It just sounds like you haven’t found a really good friend. Not that you don’t have friends, but not ones you deeply relate to. They’re comparatively rare. If you have chemistry with somebody the conversation flows naturally.



I want to clarify, too, it's okay to have friends who you have different levels of attachment to. And letting things form naturally/gradually is better than forming it. You can find over time that you've got a lot more in common with somebody, or develop a deeper appreciation of them, than you might expect.

 

[Sperghetti]

It just sounds like you haven’t found a really good friend. Not that you don’t have friends, but not ones you deeply relate to. They’re comparatively rare. If you have chemistry with somebody the conversation flows naturally.

Seriously. I agree most people are risk-averse when it comes to conversation, but this is normal when you aren’t particularly close. Most normal people don’t want to either offend or look like a total autist to others, so they keep things tame.

The deep, interesting conversations usually happen when both parties can trust that the other is on the same intellectual level as them, and isn’t going to think poorly of them for their opinions.

 

[Seventh Star]

It just sounds like you haven’t found a really good friend. Not that you don’t have friends, but not ones you deeply relate to. They’re comparatively rare. If you have chemistry with somebody the conversation flows naturally.



I want to clarify, too, it's okay to have friends who you have different levels of attachment to. And letting things form naturally/gradually is better than forming it. You can find over time that you've got a lot more in common with somebody, or develop a deeper appreciation of them, than you might expect.

Pretty much this. I dont have someone I can actually talk to about things on a daily basis and it makes life miserable. The friends I have are utter mongoloids.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

I have a couple of friends and siblings that I can have deep conversations with, and I can sometimes have deep conversations at work, but when most of your coworkers are ex-theater majors, certain topics need to be avoided. I did try to engage with a coworker on some third rail issues, but she was a fresh out of college type who knee-jerk supported the most Progressive stance on a subject no matter what the situation. Trying to explain to her why 8 year olds aren't old enough to troon out or why BLM burning down businesses isn't "the only way these marginalized people can make their voices heard," proved so tiring that I just avoided saying anything whenever she started talking about politics. It's not always cowardice that keeps people from engaging in controversial conversation, sometimes it's frustration at knowing that no matter what you say, you're not going to convince certain people that they're not 100 percent right.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

20021?

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Pretty hard to have conversations with people that far into the future.

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

Seriously. I agree most people are risk-averse when it comes to conversation, but this is normal when you aren’t particularly close. Most normal people don’t want to either offend or look like a total autist to others, so they keep things tame.

The deep, interesting conversations usually happen when both parties can trust that the other is on the same intellectual level as them, and isn’t going to think poorly of them for their opinions.

This. We (the US, to clarify) are living, broadly, in a low trust society. It's rare to find someone with whom one has a great deal in common once one relocates when out of school. Obviously I'm not talking about small-town America but they have their own faults (mmm, meth).