Getting into feminine hobbies/activities to "find a girlfriend" is cringe and cope

[Irregardless]

I was watching something and at some point the way Nick Rekieta "got" with Kayla was brought up, and how the whole reason he joined the cheer leading team was to get with her, and it just made me think how retarded and cringe that kind of behavior is.

There's this idea you see spread around some times that a hack to find a girlfriend is to "put yourself in women's spaces and clubs so that you're the only guy around". This is wildly un-masculine, and creepy as fuck. Like the idea that you should join the cheer team or go into theater where you're the only straight guy in an attempt to bypass the fact that you're an anti-social weirdo with no rizz sounds like cope spread by simps to cover up the fact that they stalked their crush by joining a club they were in.

If you are so down bad that you need to join a socialist knitting club to get women to talk to you without the risk of another man getting them first, you clearly have bigger issues than getting a girlfriend.

I just think that entering typically women dominated spaces in the hopes that you'll land a girl due to your social/romantic partner status being higher is retarded because what's actually happening is that your trying to bypass the normal barriers of competition, sociability, and likability by putting on a false front of actually being interested in something your not. It seems like the belief is "If I do this women will see that I'm actually a man worth dating" rather than the reality which is "Let me lie and pretend to have things in common with women and falsely cater to their desires in a man, in a scenario where I'm the only available choice for a romantic partner". Basically, "I'm the only option they've got, so someone's gotta choose me" rather than "Out of all the available options, I was their favorite".

Now obviously this doesn't apply to getting laid as if that's all you're interested in, it still might be cringe, but it's not like you're trying to build a life with someone. Also while I think it's cringe, there are also times where it probably does work, but in my mind, this shit is almost the same as troons forcing their way into women's spaces for their own sexual satisfaction rather than actually belonging there.

Edit: I should have prefaced this by saying I don't consider joining a hobby or club you're actually interested in with the benefit of possibly meeting women a bad thing. To clarify, what I mean is someone who specifically has the idea to find a hobby they aren't interested in/likely shouldn't be in that is primarily aimed at women or is women centric, and joining that hobby specifically to position themselves as an ideal romantic partner to the women who are there that otherwise would not be interested in dating them.

I think there's a substantial difference between clubs such as baking or gardening that might have a majority of women members, but can still be interesting or beneficial to men, versus things like a college cheerleading team or a feminism club where they are generally women centric and a straight man is not going to benefit.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

I am of the opinion that feminine/masculine hobbies shouldn't be labeled as such. I would like to get into gardening (but its fucking november lol) and other things but those are considered feminine hobbies; they're just hobbies, don't look so deep into it.

I barely read this OP because it just seems like pussy free incel cope. Feel free to keep jacking off into your sock, though.

 

[mindlessobserver]

If you are interested in something, do it because you are interested. Meeting people is incidental because you might find someone with similar interests. which is a great way to start a relationship. A relationship also doesn't necessarily mean a romantic one either. Friends are nice too, both for their own sake and e ALSO as a great way to meet new people that could become romantic. This is why "going to a bar" and "going to church" just to meet someone is also a failing proposition. If you find a partner at the bar, their interest is probably partying and drinking. If that isn't your thing, not gonna work. If you meet someone at church, their interest is probably religion. If that is ALSO not your thing, things are not going to work either.

 

[Karen of Human Resources]

Don't see anything wrong with it myself.

I didn't join a members club because I like overpriced drinks, I joined it because I wanted to network with clients and my bosses.

I didn't learn English because I like American television, I learned it because I wanted to advance myself.

I don't go to the gym because I like working out, I go so I'm not fat.

If I was looking to get social with nerds, I'd pick up a comic book for a common connection.

You don't have to like x thing, but doing x thing can be a stepping stone to something else.

Hobbies are fine, but so are doing things as a means to an end.

 

[oldTireWater]

That may be, but I knew at least one male knitter who pulled a lot of ass.

 

[Anime Waifu NFT collector]

Don't see anything wrong with it myself.

I didn't join a members club because I like overpriced drinks, I joined it because I wanted to network with clients and my bosses.

I didn't learn English because I like American television, I learned it because I wanted to advance myself.

I don't go to the gym because I like working out, I go so I'm not fat.

If I was looking to get social with nerds, I'd pick up a comic book for a common connection.

You don't have to like x thing, but doing x thing can be a stepping stone to something else.

Hobbies are fine, but so are doing things as a means to an end.

You didn't give good examples, nobody likes working out, it's tiring and painful, we like the results, replace "I go so I'm not fat" with "I go to talk to women" to get OP's point.

I didn't join a members club because I like overpriced drinks, I joined it because I wanted to network with clients and my bosses.

Nobody likes overpriced drinks, if you were to puts two identical drinks side by side with a price tag, and one is triple the price of the other, no one will pick the one that costs triple because drinking overpriced drinks is not a hobby, you go for drinks to network and you do just that, this is not a good example either.

If I was looking to get social with nerds, I'd pick up a comic book for a common connection.

If you do not care about comic books and pretend to care just so you can talk to people then that would be similar to OP's point, it would be fake, because in OPs words you are pretending to have interests that you don't have so people will want to be your friend.

You don't have to like x thing, but doing x thing can be a stepping stone to something else.

The argument is not this though, for example no one likes working, which is why we don't do it for free, so working is a stepping stone to get money is reasonable but this is not OP's point, the point is the following :

I just think that entering typically women dominated spaces in the hopes that you'll land a girl due to your social/romantic partner status will be higher is a retarded because what's actually happening is that your trying to bypass the normal barriers of competition, sociability, and likability by putting on a false front of actually being interested in something your not. It seems like the belief is "If I do this women will see that I'm actually a man worth dating" rather than the reality which is "Let me lie and pretend to have things in common with women and falsely cater to their desires in a man, in a scenario where I'm the only available choice for a romantic partner". Basically, "I'm the only option they've got, so someone's gotta choose me" rather than "Out of all the available options, I was their favorite".

 

[PeachDream]

I think people do this because they genuinely don't know where to meet women. It may not be a good idea, but unless you have a large friend circle it's either that or online dating which is soulless and often a shitshow.

 

[dick brain]

Pretending to care about things you don't care about in order to find someone who cares about the things you care about is retarded, yes.

Trying to cultivate an interest in things you don't care about in order to align your interests with those of your partner seems more reasonable on the surface, but I have conducted that experiment firsthand and followed it through to its logical conclusion and it did not result in what I would call a fulfilling life.

If you're lying just to get laid that's somewhat less retarded because it works in the short term but you'll have to live with the fact that you're acting like a nigger.

 

[PaleTay]

The thing with those hobbies is it is a weird place to meet women if you plan on coming back. I remember my major was 80/20 women and most of the guys were pussies, even shot down a few women because there weren't many I liked spending time with.

 

[Grub]

Trying to cultivate an interest in things you don't care about in order to align your interests with those of your partner seems more reasonable on the surface, but I have conducted that experiment firsthand and followed it through to its logical conclusion and it did not result in what I would call a fulfilling life

I think it depends. Forgoing your own interests and only trying to cultivate interests in things your partner likes wouldn't be very fulfilling no. But broadening your interests and at least trying to get involved in some of your partner's while still maintaining your own I found has worked pretty well.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

So you're saying I shouldn't become a mortician just because it's easy to meet chicks? Good listeners by the way.

 

[Irregardless]

I am of the opinion that feminine/masculine hobbies shouldn't be labeled as such. I would like to get into gardening (but its fucking november lol) and other things but those are considered feminine hobbies; they're just hobbies, don't look so deep into it.

Maybe read the post and you'd have a better understanding of what my point is. Regarding your opinion on hobbies though, I'm not talking about hobbies or clubs that are perceived as feminine, I'm talking about hobbies or clubs that are explicitly feminine and/or are specifically tailored towards women.

A gardening club might contain 99% women, but the act of growing plants isn't specifically catered towards women, and if a man joins a gardening club there's no reason he can't enjoy or benefit as much from gardening as a women. In contrast, I'd argue that being a cheer leader is primarily women centric as I'd imagine most people would agree, the whole point of a cheer leading team is to have attractive female cheer leaders perform cheer routines for male sports fans, so realistically there's no reason a man would want to join other than to get with a cheer leader. From there the reason I consider this cope cringe isn't necessarily that a man would join a cheer leading team to get laid or get a GF, but that some men will do it because they wouldn't be able to trick the cheer leader into dating them otherwise.

I barely read this OP because it just seems like pussy free incel cope. Feel free to keep jacking off into your sock, though.

Not sure how critiquing incel type behavior is incel cope. I'm a married man and never had to do faggy gayop's to get women prior to that, but project more I guess.

If you are interested in something, do it because you are interested. Meeting people is incidental because you might find someone with similar interests. which is a great way to start a relationship. A relationship also doesn't necessarily mean a romantic one either. Friends are nice too, both for their own sake and e ALSO as a great way to meet new people that could become romantic. This is why "going to a bar" and "going to church" just to meet someone is also a failing proposition. If you find a partner at the bar, their interest is probably partying and drinking. If that isn't your thing, not gonna work. If you meet someone at church, their interest is probably religion. If that is ALSO not your thing, things are not going to work either.

Don't see anything wrong with it myself.

I didn't join a members club because I like overpriced drinks, I joined it because I wanted to network with clients and my bosses.

I didn't learn English because I like American television, I learned it because I wanted to advance myself.

I don't go to the gym because I like working out, I go so I'm not fat.

If I was looking to get social with nerds, I'd pick up a comic book for a common connection.

You don't have to like x thing, but doing x thing can be a stepping stone to something else.

Hobbies are fine, but so are doing things as a means to an end.

I feel like I explained my rational behind my post above. My point isn't about whether or not doing something you're not interested in is cringe even if it could benefit you in some way later, my point is that joining a group full of women that is specifically aimed at things for women in the hopes that since you're the only man you'll be able to land a woman, is cringe. Like as an extreme example let's say there's a woman's softball team, and for some reason they allow men, but there are no straight men on the team, you're not interested in softball, you don't know anybody on the team, and there is no potential external benefit to joining the team, but you join anyway with the explicate goal of using your newfound proximity to women as a way to land a woman because you literally can't attract a woman's attention otherwise. You don't give a fuck about softball, the team, or anything to do with it, but you know you can claim that you do and that might lead to you sparking up a relationship with a woman because they literally have to interact with you as a member of the team. That is an example where someone is basically taking advantage of a situation due to their inability to accomplish their goal of getting a girl otherwise, and by all accounts, is pathetic and cringe.

I think it depends. Forgoing your own interests and only trying to cultivate interests in things your partner likes wouldn't be very fulfilling no. But broadening your interests and at least trying to get involved in some of your partner's while still maintaining your own I found has worked pretty well.

I agree with this and think there is a substantial difference between getting into something knowing your only there to pretend to like it in hopes to lie to a women so that she'll date you, versus having a partner who has a hobby and trying to get into it with the public acknowledgement that while you may no be that interested in it, your interested in trying to get into it as a way to bond with/spend time with them.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

im scared of woman and a massive faggot lol

TLR. Please go back to watching anime and cumming to tranny porn, you're not very smart.

 

[Xev]

I am of the opinion that feminine/masculine hobbies shouldn't be labeled as such. I would like to get into gardening (but its fucking november lol) and other things but those are considered feminine hobbies; they're just hobbies, don't look so deep into it.

I barely read this OP because it just seems like pussy free incel cope. Feel free to keep jacking off into your sock, though.

Just frame it as 'agriculture'

 

[Grub]

getting into something knowing your only there to pretend to like it in hopes to lie to a women so that she'll date you

I'm not even sure why men that do that think it will work. Women don't want men doing their hobbies. They want men to have their own hobbies so they can bitch at them about the time, cost and space they take up.

 

[Screamer_2]

Don't join shit just to meet women, do stuff you would enjoy. You'll enjoy it, be happier and naturally more attractive. It makes you a more interesting person to have hobbies and actually do stuff other than playing Nuketown 24/7 on the weekend.

It may not be a thing in your countries, but here we have absolute sad sacks who will join things like Salsa Dancing classes. They get partnered with a woman and no matter the relationship status of that women. She can be in a relationship or even married. They will still confess their love to her and get super shitty when she says no. Making the whole hobby for the women uncomfortable and annoying. Then putting pressure on their actual partners to have to take up fucking dancing classes because they are fed up with every dancing partner having ulterior motives and wanting them to blow up their entire lives when they just like to dance. Ruining my quiet night at home. Anyway...

 

[Audit]

I think people do this because they genuinely don't know where to meet women. It may not be a good idea, but unless you have a large friend circle it's either that or online dating which is soulless and often a shitshow.

I swear the biggest religion in the modern world is the cult of technology. Without their god, the almighty algorithm, telling them what to do, where to go, and who to meet, at least half the human race would prefer to sit at home and play video games or watch netflix. I don't think there's any coincidence that the more tech obsessed a country gets the worse and more bizarre its social problems become. We have people in this very thread who would only go out and do stuff to "meet women" or get offended when someone shoots their shot with the few people who do go out and engage in the public world. Being social without the computer telling you to is considered a burden now.