- Joined
- Mar 23, 2016
I've watched that movie with a friend on the opening weekend.
Us 2 aside, there were 3 dudes sitting in front of us, 3 people to the right of me (these 6 people looked like they just happened to walk into the wrong movie. Completely out of place) and like 7 more sitting behind us.
Throughout the movie, more and more people walked out, in the end, it was only the people that looked like they were in the wrong movie and me and my bro.
So yeah, opening weekend, 15ish viewers and half of them bail out midway.
I've seen some really shitty movies, garbage that makes Suicide Squad look like a masterpiece, and less people walked out of those.
It's this scene:
Notice the voice.
On a sidenote, Ishikawa is replaced with some black dude who is only in one scene and the only thing he does is boast about his new augmented liver that will allow him to drink booze all night long.
Section 9. They're the best.
Basically, the movie does look nice with neat designs, the problem is: 90% of this is lifted from other material. The city is just a mix between Blade Runner and Akira and a lot of scenes are shot-for-shot remakes of scenes from the original movies - but they are pretty much just going through the motions.
The plot is a jumbled mess of plot elements from the originals and the whole philosophical debate about individuality and humanity is completely dropped. There is a very shallow plot regarding Mira's identity, but it's resolved in such a stupid fashion that it just feels lackluster.
Section 9 is pretty incompetent in this movie, too, getting eavesdropped by Hanka, unable to check into the background of Mira or preventing hackers from fucking up their shit.
Even if it wasn't linked to GitS, it would still be a rather bad movie.
Us 2 aside, there were 3 dudes sitting in front of us, 3 people to the right of me (these 6 people looked like they just happened to walk into the wrong movie. Completely out of place) and like 7 more sitting behind us.
Throughout the movie, more and more people walked out, in the end, it was only the people that looked like they were in the wrong movie and me and my bro.
So yeah, opening weekend, 15ish viewers and half of them bail out midway.
I've seen some really shitty movies, garbage that makes Suicide Squad look like a masterpiece, and less people walked out of those.
They tried to add the philosophical part but completely dropped the ball.
The major cuddles with some black tranny halfway through the movie.
It's this scene:
The funny thing is, the criticism of GitS being whitewashed isn't even true. Sorta. I'll get to it below. Still, picking a better actor would have done this movie a great favor. Scarlett Johanson gave a very wooden performance.
On a sidenote, Ishikawa is replaced with some black dude who is only in one scene and the only thing he does is boast about his new augmented liver that will allow him to drink booze all night long.
Section 9. They're the best.
The script is a conglomerate of the original movies, the 2 TV shows and -of all things- the fucking Robocop remake.
The movie starts with some injured (adult) person wrapped in plastic and bandages being wheeled into an ER, the first scene and I gave up on this being anything like GitS, since it clearly breaks the core concepts about the main character. Intsead of someone who's spend most of her life as a cyborg and joined Section 9, the Major now is some random person that is turned into a cyborg against her will by a corporation called "Hanka" and then made part of Section 9.
So, that being said, after that I tried watching this movie as its own interpretation of GitS and tried (really hard) to appreciate it for its own merits...
Either way, the first major action scene has a couple of terrorists attack some sort of party and a Geisha-Bot grabs a dude, unfolds some sort of Alien-Tongue-like plug from her mouth that it forces into the neck of one of the people there while a bunch of cyborgs shoot up the place.
The Major, now called Mira Killian (for the life of me, I couldn't be bothered to memorize the new name, I had to look the name up), disobeys orders and engages the terrorists, Batou (not yet a cyborg) and some others join her. Since everyone in this movie is a fucking idiot, they kill everyone.
So, after hacking into what's left of the terrorists cyberbrains, Section 9 has to enter some Nightclub to look for further clues. Mira pretends to be looking for a job and gets invited into a special room where she is then handcuffed to a Stripper pole and beaten up with cattleprods while Batou is sitting on the bar drinking. Shit goes south and they shoot up the place. Batou is injured in an explosion and turned into a cyborg. And I will say, they nail his look perfectly.
I pretty much only mention this cause "being beaten up" is what the Major is really good at in this movie.
The most idiotic sequence in the whole movie, that made people in the audience grunt and caused the first exodus:
Two garbage-men talk to each other during lunch break. One is talking about his wife and daughter (gee, I wonder where this is going), but mid-sentence, they get hacked and drive off to attack Dr. Ouelet, who works for Hanka. They ram her car, get out of the truck and grab SMGs that they just happened to have on them. Section 9 shows up, engages them in a firefight and one guy turns on his thermo optical camo and runs off.
The next scene is a straight rip-off from the original with the hand-to-hand fight in the water.
Thereafter, the garbage man is in some sort of holding cell, attached to the ceiling via a strap that also plugs into his cyberbrain and he's being interrogated by the Major. Of course, turns out the dude is not married and has no child. Did I mention everyone at Section 9 is incompetent? Cause the guy snaps his own neck with the cable that he's attached to the ceiling with and everyone just stands around dumbfounded.
At their next investigation, Mira gets isolated from her team, beaten up with cattleprods and brought to the villain who is a stuttering cyborg called Kuze who reveals to the Major that he is taking revenge on Hanka for turning him into a cyborg against his will and that she's essentially the next version. After being set free, the Major goes to Dr. Ouelet and confronts her with this knowledge. Ouelet tells her that Hanka has done the cyborg-procedure 98 times without success before they did it with the Major. She further tells her that her memories are fake and gives her a certain address before helping her to escape from Hanka HQ.
At the address, Mira picks up a cat that was slipping out of a door and the japanese cat owner invites her to a cup of tea. For absolutely no fucking reason at all, the woman tells Mira about her daughter, Motoko, having killed herself in police custody. Mira learns about a place that Motoko liked to hang out with her friends and after going there, she meets Kuze and they recall that they used to be in a relationship.
There's a short fight with a spider tank, Kuze and "Motoko" fuse their ghosts before Kuze is killed, the Hanka CEO is killed by Aramaki and I am relieved this bullshit is finally coming to a close.
So, that being said, after that I tried watching this movie as its own interpretation of GitS and tried (really hard) to appreciate it for its own merits...
Either way, the first major action scene has a couple of terrorists attack some sort of party and a Geisha-Bot grabs a dude, unfolds some sort of Alien-Tongue-like plug from her mouth that it forces into the neck of one of the people there while a bunch of cyborgs shoot up the place.
The Major, now called Mira Killian (for the life of me, I couldn't be bothered to memorize the new name, I had to look the name up), disobeys orders and engages the terrorists, Batou (not yet a cyborg) and some others join her. Since everyone in this movie is a fucking idiot, they kill everyone.
So, after hacking into what's left of the terrorists cyberbrains, Section 9 has to enter some Nightclub to look for further clues. Mira pretends to be looking for a job and gets invited into a special room where she is then handcuffed to a Stripper pole and beaten up with cattleprods while Batou is sitting on the bar drinking. Shit goes south and they shoot up the place. Batou is injured in an explosion and turned into a cyborg. And I will say, they nail his look perfectly.
I pretty much only mention this cause "being beaten up" is what the Major is really good at in this movie.
The most idiotic sequence in the whole movie, that made people in the audience grunt and caused the first exodus:
Two garbage-men talk to each other during lunch break. One is talking about his wife and daughter (gee, I wonder where this is going), but mid-sentence, they get hacked and drive off to attack Dr. Ouelet, who works for Hanka. They ram her car, get out of the truck and grab SMGs that they just happened to have on them. Section 9 shows up, engages them in a firefight and one guy turns on his thermo optical camo and runs off.
The next scene is a straight rip-off from the original with the hand-to-hand fight in the water.
Thereafter, the garbage man is in some sort of holding cell, attached to the ceiling via a strap that also plugs into his cyberbrain and he's being interrogated by the Major. Of course, turns out the dude is not married and has no child. Did I mention everyone at Section 9 is incompetent? Cause the guy snaps his own neck with the cable that he's attached to the ceiling with and everyone just stands around dumbfounded.
At their next investigation, Mira gets isolated from her team, beaten up with cattleprods and brought to the villain who is a stuttering cyborg called Kuze who reveals to the Major that he is taking revenge on Hanka for turning him into a cyborg against his will and that she's essentially the next version. After being set free, the Major goes to Dr. Ouelet and confronts her with this knowledge. Ouelet tells her that Hanka has done the cyborg-procedure 98 times without success before they did it with the Major. She further tells her that her memories are fake and gives her a certain address before helping her to escape from Hanka HQ.
At the address, Mira picks up a cat that was slipping out of a door and the japanese cat owner invites her to a cup of tea. For absolutely no fucking reason at all, the woman tells Mira about her daughter, Motoko, having killed herself in police custody. Mira learns about a place that Motoko liked to hang out with her friends and after going there, she meets Kuze and they recall that they used to be in a relationship.
There's a short fight with a spider tank, Kuze and "Motoko" fuse their ghosts before Kuze is killed, the Hanka CEO is killed by Aramaki and I am relieved this bullshit is finally coming to a close.
Basically, the movie does look nice with neat designs, the problem is: 90% of this is lifted from other material. The city is just a mix between Blade Runner and Akira and a lot of scenes are shot-for-shot remakes of scenes from the original movies - but they are pretty much just going through the motions.
The plot is a jumbled mess of plot elements from the originals and the whole philosophical debate about individuality and humanity is completely dropped. There is a very shallow plot regarding Mira's identity, but it's resolved in such a stupid fashion that it just feels lackluster.
Section 9 is pretty incompetent in this movie, too, getting eavesdropped by Hanka, unable to check into the background of Mira or preventing hackers from fucking up their shit.
Even if it wasn't linked to GitS, it would still be a rather bad movie.
