Grand Theft Auto Grieving Thread - Yep, I've been drinkin' again...

[Psyduck]

They'd then have to rewrite the story as if Franklin never existed or just have him as a supporting character.

I think removing him and maybe Devin Weston would be enough, most if not all of the major story beats remain the same regardless:

-Michael lives an unhappy retired life in Los Santos until he catches Amanda fucking the tennis coach, and it ends with him needing to return to the heist game in order to pay off a Cartel boss.

- Trevor finds out that Michael's alive, travels to Los Santos, they're reunited and tensions arise. Michael promises him "one big score".

- Haines threatens Michael and Dave into doing the FIB's dirty business under threat.

- Trevor ends up finding out the truth about Brad, climax happens in Ludendorff, you can even have your three different endings here, kill one or the other, or have them make their peace, which leads to the Union Depository heist as the big finale.

 

[Raw Onion Enjoyer]

It is pretty tiresome going to gtaonline subreddit to get updated on weekly events. You get so many people describing each activity as money per hour like it's an actual job. For example there was a Yacht discount with 5x multiplier on Yacht missions. So all the comments were along the lines of:
"Wow this Yacht is practically free!!! You just need to pay 4 mil then replay the same mission for few hours non stop to even out!"
"Those Yacht missions are 2m/h nice, gonna grind them out all day today!!"

That's on top of GTA+ offering basic QoL features which are cut from main game to monetize like collecting earnings from all businesses in your phone. And you're constantly bombarded with advertisements for it every time you boot the game.

This is why GTA Online 2 is going to be shit. It will be crap like with free MMOs where to get the proper experience and not be constantly inconvenienced on purpose you will need a monthly GTA+ sub. No inventory space? Oh, sorry here's a bigger safe DLC. Braindead easy A to B missions require you to cross whole map for a 100th time? Here's an auto-driving mechanic npc (gta+ exclusive). Having problems with bullet sponge enemies? Here's the only weapon with special ammo that can chew through their armor, only 5 hours of grind or you can just pay. Want aircraft to spawn closer to you instead of 2km away? GTA+ pilot is right here to help you!

And then all the brainless consoomers will give you the same old copes as to why it's ok for rockstar to exploit you as much as they can, that is right after they're done grinding equivalent of Cayo for 4h straight for 5th day this week.

 

[The handsome tard]

A reminder that Rockstar cancelled a planned GTA 5 DLC that had Trevor taking the role of a secret agent in an adventure pretty satirical to the genre for the sake of MOAR Online shit (iirc, some of the already made assets for the DLC were "recycled" for online missions).

Steve Ogg had even already done some motion caption work when it was just suddenly cancelled.


You do not hate modern Rockstar enough, niggas. You dont.

 

[The Last Stand]

Steve Ogg had even already done some motion caption work when it was just suddenly cancelled.

I want to see that motion caption work.

 

[Problematic User Forever]

Just got home from work, but GTAForums is bitching that the homes in the hills suck ass, don't have that many customization options, the pets are worthless, there's no new clothes/hair/tattoos and apparently Michael only appears in the intro cutscene and in the final mission for the update.

A reminder that Rockstar cancelled a planned GTA 5 DLC that had Trevor taking the role of a secret agent in an adventure pretty satirical to the genre for the sake of MOAR Online shit (iirc, some of the already made assets for the DLC were "recycled" for online missions).

Steve Ogg had even already done some motion caption work when it was just suddenly cancelled.


You do not hate modern Rockstar enough, niggas. You dont.

Dan Houser has come out at this point and said that it was cancelled because it wasn't working right and they decided to focus on Red Dead Redemption 2 instead.

And honestly, I believe it. GTA Online has never needed that many resources for it's updates that the DLC should need to be cancelled for it.

 

[Serbian Peacekeepers]

A reminder that Rockstar cancelled a planned GTA 5 DLC

The common story/rumor/whatever is that 3 DLCs were planned, Agent Trevor, a Zombie one, and a Alien one. All three got canned when GTA Online became a hit and most of their plots were reused for Online updates.

 

[El Chacal De La Trompeta]

if you play gta online you are a fucking retard

 

[Slav Power]

Agent Trevor, a Zombie one, and a Alien one

To be honest, that did sound like shit that wouldn't work so it's good that it got canned. Consider the fact that RDR's Undead Nightmare was an entirely separate storyline in the style of EFLC and it was a one-off self-contained alternative reality. Trying to do the same, but in GTA V with all three protagonists? The whole three protagonists thing wasn't working well to begin with, and to try and make three separate DLC's based around that system with the wacky sci-fi storylines was a recipe for an illogical disaster.

It's a good thing that it got sacked in retrospect. Ideally you'd have three DLC's expanding on each character's story which would be intertwined with the main plot much like Phantom Liberty was intertwined in Cyberpunk 2077. At some point in the main story you get a separate mission branch independent of the main one that still weaves back into the main story perfectly. That would've made a lot of sense with GTA V.

 

[30+GameOvers]

All they had to do was make the zombie DLC and focus on that. It would print money, double the money if you take into the account the extra Online events you could do around that time. They were stupid to put all their shark cards into one basket, now if GTA 6 flops for whatever reason, that company is done for. Even if it doesn't, there will be no choice but to focus on the Online mode in 6 again since that's where a bulk of their profit comes from now, how many major updates did RDR2 get after the online component flopped?

 

[The Last Stand]

Just got home from work, but GTAForums is bitching that the homes in the hills suck ass, don't have that many customization options, the pets are worthless, there's no new clothes/hair/tattoos and apparently Michael only appears in the intro cutscene and in the final mission for the update.

Let's also talk about how one of the AI options is a thirsty woman voice. And how old as hell Amanda looks.

 

[Problematic User Forever]

Well that video just saved me 12 million from the 50 million I never use in GTA Online

 

[Crypt Kicker]

Let's also talk about how one of the AI options is a thirsty woman voice. And how old as hell Amanda looks.

Is it just me or does the animation/graphics (?) here look worse than it did in 2013?
The way the character's skin and movements look just seem off for a thing made in 2025

It did get a good chuckle out of me at Michael throwing a chair at another TV like Jimmy's

 

[The Last Stand]

It did get a good chuckle out of me at Michael throwing a chair at another TV like Jimmy's

Jimmy finally moves out. Maybe he'll be in Vice City for a vacation?

 

[Crypt Kicker]

Jimmy finally moves out. Maybe he'll be in Vice City for a vacation?

If they're going to do a previous character cameo in Vice City for VI I'd rather they dig up Ray Liotta's corpse instead.

 

[A skinny fat man]

Is it just me or does the animation/graphics (?) here look worse than it did in 2013?
The way the character's skin and movements look just seem off for a thing made in 2025

It did get a good chuckle out of me at Michael throwing a chair at another TV like Jimmy's

GTA V still looks mostly like a very late PS3 game (go look at the original launch trailer for The Last of Us for example) and no amount of putting lipstick on that pig is going to change the fact that the assets for GTA V still look like that and new assets also have to be designed to fit with the fact that every other asset in GTA V is from a game that came out in 2013 and isn't changing. So while every new game looks better by a lot GTA Online's new content is still designed with a 2013 framework and assets that are designed to fit with 2013 assets or actually are 2013 assets.

What I'm saying is that GTA V looks better than it did in 2013 but compared to what games today look like it's a world of difference.

Edit: So it looks worse than you remember it being in 2013 because it looked great compared to 2013 games but looks like ass compared to 2025 games.

 

[Commander X]

"Driverless cars can be seen casually roaming the city for the first time in GTA 5. The new company “KnoWay” parodies the real-life robotaxi service Waymo, and it’s linked to a delivery & logistics company in GTA 6 called “Sahara” which is a parody of Amazon."

Ah ha, once more these guys have their fingers on the pulse of our cultural absurdities. Do you get it, the company is called "KnoWay" it's like "know way" but sounds like "no way".

Really, I can't wait for the overdue big video game crash that will make the Great Crash of '83 look like a one week wonder in comparison.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

"Driverless cars can be seen casually roaming the city for the first time in GTA 5. The new company “KnoWay” parodies the real-life robotaxi service Waymo, and it’s linked to a delivery & logistics company in GTA 6 called “Sahara” which is a parody of Amazon."

Ah ha, once more these guys have their fingers on the pulse of our cultural absurdities. Do you get it, the company is called "KnoWay" it's like "know way" but sounds like "no way".

Really, I can't wait for the overdue big video game crash that will make the Great Crash of '83 look like a one week wonder in comparison.

What's even the point? It's not like the cars will act any different than human piloted vehicles, even if they make them randomly run over a pedestrian it will be the same as the usual driver AI losing its shit.

If they wanted to make a joke, a later mission would have revealed that all those cars are remotely piloted by jeets and the random kill was the usual jeet driving skill.

 

[umseriously]

GTA 6 should be able to run at 60 fps on the PS5 PRO considering PSSR will have FSR4 by 2026. Meanwhile, the Xbox is shit out of luck. I don't see another delay happening again, so it must be a all hands on deck scenario at Rockstar right now.

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

GTA VI gonna still suck.
All the hopium you can inject in your balls don't gonna work.

 

[The Last Stand]

"Driverless cars can be seen casually roaming the city for the first time in GTA 5. The new company “KnoWay” parodies the real-life robotaxi service Waymo, and it’s linked to a delivery & logistics company in GTA 6 called “Sahara” which is a parody of Amazon."

Ah ha, once more these guys have their fingers on the pulse of our cultural absurdities. Do you get it, the company is called "KnoWay" it's like "know way" but sounds like "no way".

Really, I can't wait for the overdue big video game crash that will make the Great Crash of '83 look like a one week wonder in comparison.

What a take of the ages. A satirical video game series such as GTA spoofs popular brands as their own through clever wordplay. What's next, will you tell us that the titular series is named after the literal crime of vehicular theft?