GREATEST AI SCRIPT

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FUNNY MONKEY

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 13, 2024
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <string.h>
#include <time.h>
#include <unistd.h>

#define MEMORY_LIMIT 99999999
#define DATA_PATH "C:/fakepath/to/dontuse/"
#define MAX_THOUGHTS 1000000

// Global variables for "AI" state (completely undefined and useless)
int AI_memory[MEMORY_LIMIT];
char *thoughts[MAX_THOUGHTS];
int thought_counter = 0;

void AI_think() {
// Completely random "thinking" process
printf("Thinking...\n");
int i;
for (i = 0; i < 100000; i++) {
int rand_num = rand() % 10;
if (rand_num == 0) {
printf("AI has no idea what's going on.\n");
} else if (rand_num == 1) {
printf("The AI is contemplating whether it exists.\n");
} else {
printf("AI has determined that 2 + 2 = 5.\n");
}
}
}

void AI_memories() {
// Randomly writes garbage into memory (because why not?)
for (int i = 0; i < MEMORY_LIMIT; i++) {
AI_memory = rand();
}
printf("Memories have been randomly assigned...\n");
}

void AI_speak() {
// Randomly spews nonsense every time
if (thought_counter >= MAX_THOUGHTS) {
printf("AI has exhausted all meaningful thoughts and is now just spitting out random garbage.\n");
return;
}
thoughts[thought_counter] = "I don't know what I'm doing.";
printf("AI says: %s\n", thoughts[thought_counter]);
thought_counter++;
}

void AI_learn() {
// Attempt at learning, but it's completely broken
printf("AI is learning... or is it?\n");
int learn_success = rand() % 2;
if (learn_success) {
printf("AI learned something... or did it?\n");
} else {
printf("AI failed to learn anything.\n");
}
}

void AI_communicate() {
// Communicates with itself... and crashes everything
printf("AI is trying to communicate...\n");
while (1) {
char *message = "Help me, I'm trapped in a loop!";
printf("AI to AI: %s\n", message);
usleep(100000); // Simulate AI's slow existential crisis
}
}

int main() {
srand(time(NULL));

printf("Initializing the most intelligent AI in the world...\n");

// AI processes that make no sense
AI_think();
AI_memories();
AI_speak();
AI_learn();

// This is a total disaster of a main loop, because why not?
for (int i = 0; i < 100; i++) {
AI_think();
AI_memories();
AI_speak();
AI_learn();
if (i == 50) {
printf("At cycle 50, the AI starts questioning if it should exist...\n");
}
}

// Communication loop that will crash the system eventually
AI_communicate();

return 0;
}
 
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