It wasn’t the gore for me even thought I originally thought it was. It was the social contract being broken and my faith in others being lost. Don’t want to go to deep into it but you may want to get a therapist as ptsd can linger and build even thought you feel you are forgetting about it. CBT and getting to what is really bothering you (it may be the gore after all, in which going to a funeral house or morgue can help) and standing up to it is how you’ll conquer it. There isn’t a magic phrase or way of thinking that’ll immediately help you. We can’t snap a finger or give you an insight that’ll resolve it. It takes time, exposure, and your own epiphanies that’ll resolve this. Being broken doesn’t mean you can’t be fixed, but just like breaking your arm you can’t do months worth of rehab in minutes and expect it to take.
you’ll probably want to keep this private but if you have one or two sponsors like AA but for this that can help you out and talk to when in peril you’ll feel more comfortable and not on your own. Even staying at a buddies for a few days can get you out of a cycle if this strikes you in your own bed regardless of if you have a family.
now if this isn’t related to a past incident in real life, the cbt will still help. You need to expose yourself to more gore in a controlled environment to overcome this. Phobias can benefit from this as much as personal trauma from what I’ve researched. Don’t do it solo though, get a therapist either way as it won’t have much benefit from you just watching liveleak till you are numb.
