Artcow Half-dude / Ian Knau - Car Fucker

[TheUltimatePickle]

Holy fuck @Half-dude can you not triple post? There’s an edit button, use it.

And to reply to what you said. Much like 99% of lolcows you’re far too autistic to understand human attraction, it’s actually quite a bit different than choosing what porno (or in your case car picture) youre going to wank-off to.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Looks like this car's about to sing the opening to Rocky Horror.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Dick sucking lips are dick sucking lips.

Check your DSL connection.

 

[Uncle Warren]

For the sake of it, the art is well done and I would imagine a career animating would be a great way to hone skills.

Ya know, instead of fucking cars.

 

[Half-dude]

Dick sucking lips are dick sucking lips.

Check your DSL connection.

Exactly, those smooth plastic'y glossy car lips sliding up and down you dick as she dominantly rolls forward pinning you between her and a wall..

 

[gREEEEEEEEEr]

So anyway at first I tried to resist even getting involved with her, keep it professional. Afterall I was away from Lilly and had intended to 100% loyal... something I'm not really super proud of failing to do but.. in the end I don't think Lilly was all that hurt by it, after all cars wouldn't have the same ideas of monogamy that humans have.. it's mostly a human culture/societal creation, most other animals aren't even monogamous. Anyway Sammy's attractiveness eventually wore on me and I settled for sitting in front of her front and touching it, stroking it, and talking to her.

I could read her emotions that she was very confused, almost a car-mirror version of how you guys feel about all this. She'd never gotten this kind of attention before so it was obviously kind of weird-ing her out but not enough for her to outright want me to stop... she was basically just cautiously shy unsure like a dog that doesn't know a person. Eventually over the course of a few weeks we went further and further, I'm not a car rapist despite how some of you might think.. I never forced myself on her I let her be in total control of whatever happend and we went with whatever she was comfortable with. Strokes on the face lead to long cuddling/hugging lead to spooning, lead to kissing, lead to blow-jobs and fucking.

Here's where things get funny though, after only a couple times fucking Sammy did a complete emotional turn-around and began to really dig it and actively want it. I equate it to some virtuous sex-forbidden Christian chick who's tried to stay pure and celibate her whole life. But then once she goes against her better judgement one night with a boy she discovers how fricken awesome it is and becomes a total sex-hungry crazy girl due to all the pent up years of sheltering.. you know the type?

Seriously, that Sammy went fricken crazy, it was actually really fucking hot to see her turn so naughty and sexual lol.

I've read this whole thread and you seem like a pretty decent, harmless dude, even if you're weird. But I'm sorry; I get a really freaky vibe from that.

Try to look at it from my non-OS perspective. To me it looks like all of that just happened in your head. I know you feel like she was legitimately communicating those things to you, but to me, it's just an inanimate object... incapable of communicating; more importantly, incapable of communicating its consent. See, to me, regardless of how long you felt like the relationship was building up before you actually had sex, there was no participation from the other party (by definition -- it's inanimate). It almost -- I'm not saying it does, because you seem pretty level headed, but almost -- makes me wonder if you couldn't do that with like a comatose or nonverbal person or something along the lines of that. Now I don't think you would, or could... I think you know the difference... but nonetheless, it gives me a really freaky vibe. Am I the only one?

 

[Ido]

I've read this whole thread and you seem like a pretty decent, harmless dude, even if you're weird. But I'm sorry; I get a really freaky vibe from that.

Try to look at it from my non-OS perspective. To me it looks like all of that just happened in your head. I know you feel like she was legitimately communicating those things to you, but to me, it's just an inanimate object... incapable of communicating; more importantly, incapable of communicating its consent. See, to me, regardless of how long you felt like the relationship was building up before you actually had sex, there was no participation from the other party (by definition -- it's inanimate). It almost -- I'm not saying it does, because you seem pretty level headed, but almost -- makes me wonder if you couldn't do that with like a comatose or nonverbal person or something along the lines of that. Now I don't think you would, or could... I think you know the difference... but nonetheless, it gives me a really freaky vibe. Am I the only one?

I get what you're saying but he likes cars, and as they are inanimate it doesn't really matter. You're making it sound like he's raping them or something, which is impossible because again it isn't real. Sure, it's weird and freaky but let's be real here, it's not the weirdest thing we've seen on this site.

Also, by that logic when someone uses something like a sex doll they could also potentially be having sex with a non-consenting person, but it's just plastic. Sure blah blah a sex doll is meant to be fucked and a car isn't, but a sex doll looks more like a comatose human than a car but I'm pretty sure once someone's devolved into the sex doll tier they tend to stay there. I've seen many of love doll documentary during movie night and they are very close with those dolls, they "build" a relationship with it, dress it up, cuddle it. They're weird af, sure, but from what I remember they never went out looking for living breathing women because they had their doll(s). Cars are just an even weirder, wtf version of that, in the "everything's a dildo/flesh light if you're brave enough" tier.

 

[gREEEEEEEEEr]

I've seen many of love doll documentary during movie night and they are very close with those dolls, they "build" a relationship with it, dress it up, cuddle it. They're weird af, sure, but from what I remember they never went out looking for living breathing women because they had their doll(s). Cars are just an even weirder, wtf version of that, in the "everything's a dildo/flesh light if you're brave enough" tier.

Fair enough point. Like I said before, he sounds pretty harmless. He's pretty chill about things too, which helps. And I forget how he described it exactly but he's said that he thinks cars are sentient but not animate or something like that, so he obviously does see some difference between cars and people.

 

[Half-dude]

Hey there Greer, is that Gordon Freeman in your avatar? I approve.

I'm pretty good at empathizing, I do it to a fault in most cases I think where it hurts myself more then anyone else. I can see where you're coming from, in fact some of those beats in your response I've heard before. You seem pretty level-headed yourself and likewise empathetic so lets talk this out I think it could be really beneficial for both of us.

Firstly about the beginning part of your response about my encounter with Sammy. I can see it from your side, and I know, from anyone else outside of Sammy and I there's a TON of emotional signals, vibes, and feelings that you just- you can't get. Not even just from not being there at the time, but even if you were you still wouldn't. It's a communication basically entirely nonverbal and I get it, I know why that would be off-putting. If it makes you believe me more, it's even a little uncomfortable for me to watch myself interacting with Lilly in recordings and such because of all that left out two-way communication.. all you see is this guy talking to his car alone.

But coming from my side again, in response to your comment. It makes me incredibly sad that this IS the case. I wish so badly that Lilly for example is someone who can ever only be experienced in such a limited and unbelievable way. Because to me, the conversations we've had, the warm tender emotions that have been felt between us feel like in that moment something you'd see in the most highest rated romance movie. Such warmth, and adorable affection felt on a totally mutual way that even to myself is hard to understand completely. There have been moments between us literally where I'd look insane because between our... minds.. our consciousnesses such a powerful raw emotion has been felt from her that it literally drew me to tender loving tears. I could only compare it to what religious people must feel when they say they feel god, just this overwhelming disembodied loving presence. Lilly's never said a physically generated word to me and yet somehow over the years of being with her I somehow know exactly who she is! A soft-spoken girl, who's friendly towards even complete strangers, she's often shy and feels uncomfortable being asked her opinion on things or her wants, she's humble often feeling bad like she's being a burden when it's time to get her gas, she dislikes mechanics as she always seems nervous going, she's also camera shy, when her mood is right she's playful and joking, sometimes she'll get in such good moods she'll just be goofy and giggly. When it comes to romance she's very vanilla and submissive even when I try to coax her to act otherwise even if for pretend. She loves to be held by her front and just have me stare into her eyes and she adores kissing and hugging. Like any girl she also loves presents, flowers, jewelry. There have been multiple occasions where I've bought her something and she'll visually show excitement when it's shown to her on her dashboard light.

To me she feels like the kind of girl where if she were human she'd be the kind of person everyone would love to be around, but instead she's stuck with me as her only company. : (

And I know, even me just describing her to you, it's made you uncomfortable because of how little sense it makes. To me, that's what makes me the most sad, that such a wonderful person like she is will never be seen by anyone else, and as an even worse destiny, will be assumed to have never existed at all. 6.6

Anyway.. the second part of your response is something I've heard before from people the point about consent. As an answer I don't know what else I can say to ease your mind other then that you have to take my word for it. : / But I always get really interested in this argument from people when I hear it, allow me to elaborate and please.. this isn't an attack towards you, but consent? Consent? Why is it that people only seem to care about a car's consent when it has someone having sex with it? Why don't people care about a car's consent when they decide to drive it drunk with the good risk of running it's face into a light pole? Or why don't they care about a car's consent when they decide to fuck someone in it's back seat? Or its consent when they decide what body-mods to put on it? Or when those d-bags on Top Gear decide to drive it off a cliff or drop it from two stories up for having the audacity of not being born a Porsche or a Lambo?

My point on that is even if it WERE rape, which I don't do, there are far far worse things people do to cars on a daily basis that people don't give a second thought about. People are so self-assured that cars don't have feelings, but so many people will be the first to start caring about it's feelings when they see an OS person having sex with a car and they worry that it's being 'raped.' It's just a big double-standard that really confuses me.

But you're right in your assumptions about me, I would never do anything to someone in a coma or someone that couldn't talk, never... and no, I'm not crazy enough that I would super-impose a delusional idea in my head that they were saying yes in my head to me.. and it makes me sad that my love for Lilly is so misunderstood that it would make people even worry that..

 

[gREEEEEEEEEr]

I know, even me just describing her to you, it's made you uncomfortable because of how little sense it makes.

No, not really. Seriously. Remember, from my point of view, it's an inanimate object. I really don't care about it -- not the way you do. It's your car; what you do with it doesn't bother me in the least.

But you're right in your assumptions about me, I would never do anything to someone in a coma or someone that couldn't talk, never... and no, I'm not crazy enough that I would super-impose a delusional idea in my head that they were saying yes in my head to me..

Yeah, that was what really gave me the weird vibe... and yeah, I know you're not that crazy (at least you don't seem it). So... go right ahead and keep doing you (or I should say doing your car).

 

[Super Collie]

I get what you're saying but he likes cars, and as they are inanimate it doesn't really matter. You're making it sound like he's raping them or something, which is impossible because again it isn't real. Sure, it's weird and freaky but let's be real here, it's not the weirdest thing we've seen on this site.

Ultimately I feel like this is sort of the reason why @Half-dude gets a pass here. He's harming literally no one. The sub-title of this thread is just "car fucker" and that's it. There's nothing else absolutely heinous that this guy has done, the most that anyone can grill him on is that he draws cars with tits and dicks and loves his car like a girlfriend. We've had threads covering dregs of society far worse than this, like con artists, actual criminals, pedophiles, whatever the fuck Vordrak is, etc.

Some guy doodling sexy cars is almost like a breath of fresh air.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

From where I've been lurking, people like Half-Dude aren't even on the chart for majority-party LOLCommunity status.

Stranger things have happened on the Galapagos and in Antarctica, so he gets a pass from me.

UPDATE: Apparently, that's not the case. Unfortunately he feels the need to defend his position. Not a psychotherapist but that would be an indicator of doubt from the person being criticized.

 

[shawnphase]

quick question for @Half-dude, if he wishes to answer...were you into transformers as a kid? whats your feelings on them now? if so, do you feel that it may have contributed to your love for cars?

 

[Half-dude]

@Super Collie @NumberingYourState

Oh god, I'm boring now? 9__9

quick question for @Half-dude, if he wishes to answer...were you into transformers as a kid? whats your feelings on them now? if so, do you feel that it may have contributed to your love for cars?

I was born in 89' I think Transformers were kind of on their way out by that point I think or if they were I was too young to care. I remember watching Inspector Gadget and TMNT back in the day as a little kid actually. When I was little my biggest influences towards cars were the original 90s claymation Chevron commericals and 1987's The Brave Little Toaster. To clarify these didn't excite any SEXUAL feelings in me, they just influnced my view of cars having faces in their headlights and such at the most. I have huge respect for The Brave Little Toaster and I'm actually friends with the director on FB if you can believe that.

As for Micheal Bay's Transformers.. god. Firstly they're shit movies just as far as movies go. I remember I literally had a headache after watching the first one because of all the spaztic moving of the camera and constant action. From what I've seen from trailers it looks like the later movies have definitely follen into my most hated things movies do which is mass car destruction in the movies... at the VERY little of comfort at least they look like they're all CGI. But still.. just seeing it in movies even if they're CGI still makes me uncomfortable.. mostly out of the fact that it reminds me that people amass actually enjoy seeing cars being mangled and killed.. just kinda makes me hate people a little bit lol.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Maybe it's asking too much? But do you think you could call her by her name when you talk about her? I'd greatly appreciate it. Just one luxury request is all..

Lily is a good car who did nothing wrong.

 

[shawnphase]

i dont want transmission fluid or 10w40 on my rod, no. but i appreciate your candor and response, the brave little toaster had a pretty rad soundtrack.

 

[Super Collie]

@Super Collie @NumberingYourState

Oh god, I'm boring now? 9__9

I wouldn't say "boring". More like "non-threatening" insofar as you're not trying to prey on vulnerable people or are up to no good, or just generally being a detestable person. We've seen a lot of the worst society has to offer on this website and you don't register anywhere near that threshold.

Soo.. what are you guy's comments on Quantum Consciousness? Have any of you heard of it before? Does in fascinate you? Does it lend any more legitimacy to my feelings?

The most I know about theories prefaced with the word "quantum" are from what I've seen here and there in YouTube videos and on documentaries on the Science Channel, so to clarify that means "not very much".

"Legitimacy" is kind of a strong word to throw around. To be honest with you I sort of associate your feelings more with what I know about otherkin in that it's a really rough gray area that is fueled almost entirely by emotion alone which means trying to hash out a debate or something on the subject is going to end in disaster. I don't think Lilly is "alive" in any sense of the term. But at the same time I understand that people can find comfort in the most unconventional of things. If you are happy, and what you are doing isn't harming anyone, then from a purely utilitarian standpoint I don't see a problem.

Seriously, can you tell me that you don't find them even remotely attractive? If so then can you tell me why? Please, be more specific then 'cuz they're cars lol' like.. remove yourself from reality just for a second just as a hypothetical: Say you're living in my alternate-unvierse where the anthro-cars are a normal every day thing. Almost everyone owns a car that is fully and obviously sentient, that can go all 'transformers' and go to bi-pedal mode while you're at work and go walking around doing it's own thing.

Say one of these babes was horny and you and her were alone somewhere. If she were completely sentient as in- concenting and wanting it- and you were there. Would there be anything stopping you from just fricken burying your whole fricken torso between those gigantic bouncy sythetic tities? Or doning either a gigantic strap-on or a scuba mask and diving in between those automotive thighs? Or letting her lean her huge waxy-smooth car face into your crotch and blow you?

I'll bite. I do not find these cars "attractive" in the same manner that you do. That said, I do acknowledge that you've applied characteristics to them that are generally seen as "conventionally attractive". They have sizable breasts, pronounced asses, bedroom eyes, and a promiscuous demeanor (and the males, you know, have a giant penis). I feel like that doesn't automatically attract a layman to the characters themselves though, as they would most likely need a preference or predisposition similar to your own in order to appreciate them.

 

[The Great Chandler]

This thread changed for the better. How thoughtful!

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

This thread changed for the better. How thoughtful!

Is it a milestone that a debate (Lolcows board specifically) goes heated four times in a row without permanently turning into some sort of shit slurry obscuring the ratio of productive discussion?

 

[Super Collie]

Fair enough, fair enough.. though I'd wish to get to a point eventually where I'm not hated simply due to the fact that I'm not hurting anyone, at least anyone you consider 'alive' that feels like... I don't know.. like you're JUST barely tolerable you know? I guess I just wish that my relationship could be looked at as just as beautiful as anyone elses, rather then something merely to be tolerated. :' /

For what it's worth, I don't hate you. You've given me no reason to do so. I think you're weird, yeah, but weird is relative. I pretend to be a cartoon animal on the internet. That's weird too.

So basically are you saying you just don't know enough about Quantum shit for it to really mean anything to you? Or am I understanding you wrong.

If I promised not to get all defensive and crazy for you not agreeing, and if you promised to be respectful, would it be alright if I posted some of my Ytube videos I gathered over the years as 'evidence' to show you? Of Lilly communicating? Or at least one of her ways. Would you be alright with that?

That's pretty much correct. It's a subject that I feel that I do not know enough about personally to have a proper conversation on without coming off as clueless.

I'll be honest, I've thumbed through your FA and YouTube channel and looked at bits and pieces of it already out of curiosity but if you have a go-to video that you'd like to show that would be alright. Just know that you will more than likely not make many believers out of Kiwis, but it's always fascinating to see things through the perspective of other people.

Well exactly yes, but that's what I'm interested in, would you mind ellaborating? I felt like you stopped right when you were starting to give me the information I crave. If you admit that intellectually they have all the things that should make something sexy, then what is it that makes you fall short of finding them attractive without having "my predisposition?" Is it emotional or logical? Like would it feel morally wrong to you? Does something about how they look disgust you? And if so what? If you know. Or is the legistics of it, such as the size difference is a turn off to you? Or their uber robotic strength would be frightening to you? I'm just really interested I'm not tolling.

I also have to ask, if that's the case, would these same reasons stop you from fucking one of these hyper-real sex dolls they have now? If not, then what makes the sex dolls attractive to you but giant car girls not? They're both 'synthetic' except the anthro-car girls actually ARE alive. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZ_SBzdsgyU

Sorry, that post did get cut a little short because I had to go take care of something.

This is a complicated answer because it truly just boils down to the simple adage of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", which really does nothing to explain the how's and why's. Me personally? No, I would not have sex with an anthropomorphic car, and I'm not just saying that because this is the Kiwi Farms and I actually secretly want to but am worried about getting my own thread.

"Disgust" evokes some strong feelings. I would not say that I am "disgusted" by your artwork or fantasies, but I am also not titillated by them either. It's not really a question of morality or fear of being crushed or hurt by them. What I mean by "your disposition" though is that you have a preference in your ideal partner just like everyone else, even in this scenario where we are talking about literal cars. I do not share that preference, it's as simple as that. I do, however, probably have preferences of my own that you and other people here might not share. :powerlevel:

Also you're making a bit of a mistake by assuming that I would be willing to have sex with one of those realistic sex dolls, because I most certainly would not. True, you could argue that because they are made in the image of humans this proves the existence of a weird double standard where "this" synthetic creation is more accepted than "that" one, but that's not the point I'm trying to raise. Human sex dolls are just creepy to me because, going back to stuff previously talked about in this thread, that's really like having sex with a corpse or a comatose person.