Happy 2023 - Drunk Spergery

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The collapse of the West, more stupid shit about about Global Warming which we can't do fuck all about but its just an excuse for us to loose more rights and eat the bugs. And maybe we have a civil war with eachother rather than attacking the actual cause.

I just don't have any faith, we are basically New Rome.
 
>Russo-Ukrainian War finally fucking ends with concessions on both sides by April. The current positions on the map are the new borders, pissing off the Russian Hawks and pissing off most Ukrainians. Western media spins it as a brilliant Portsmouth style negotiated peace and send even more fucking money to now rebuild the Ukies smoldering wreck of a country
>China launches an invasion of Taiwan in late 2023. The US has a lukewarm response, Japan and its allies push strong sanctions but no direct military action.
>US government continue the never ending investigations into Elon Musk's business dealings. Eventually he has to sell Twitter, as his portfolio continues to tank
>Social Media Real ID is pushed hard for the first time
>Conservative boomers kill Section 230 in order to own the libs and end up fucking the internet as a whole
>Cuckservatives hold early hearings on FBI involvement highlighted in the Twitter Files. Nothing fucking happens™ and is memory holed after some rapper is caught fucking a tranny on snapchat
>Tiktok is banned from US devices. Zoomers don't give a shit and access it via VPNs
>Student Debt Forgiveness fails in the courts on appeal. Biden admin cuts a check of 2,500 buckaroo-billies to a fraction of the effected parties as a concession. Claim absolute victory
>Desanticlaus distances himself further from Trump. Continues as governor, doesn't run in 2024 as a Presidential candidate
>Trump continues cringy money making scams to fund his upcoming run. Boomer faggots buy it up
>Kanye fucking dies with a nose shaped metal shiv stuck in his back.
>Ethan Ralph continues to sperg and spiral further. Gets kidnapped by the cartel briefly, but is released after only 3 days of captivity due to the absolute rotting smell of his gunt
>Mister Metokur dies by summer. The whole internet grieves for the rest of year. Many pretenders try to take his place, but all fall woefully short
>Fuentes gets caught sucking cock on video. No one is surprised.
>On his death bed a smug EDP eats one final cupcake with "LOLI" etched in icing on top before fucking dying of kidney failure
>The Great Recession starts forreal this time, normie Americans finally start getting upset about how fucked the economy is. Eurofags get it 4x times worse.
>Crypto get regulated out the ass due to the FTX scandal. Crypto continues to crater as a result
>Artists continue to take further extreme measures to prevent AI infringing on their work via excessive watermarking and paywalling. Doesn't really work. The machine crushes us all eventually
>More gay false flags
>More rampant crime from nogs
>More fucking inflation
>More fucking wars
>More gay glowie psyops
 
given how the pendulum started swinging back in 2022 I imagine the twitter troon hive will take some powerful new Ls while the culture columnists print pure cope. Mr. Dong-Gone is very quickly burning through what small remnants of clout he still has; by the end of the year he'll be another minor internet footnote auto-blocking anybody he sees mentioning kiwifarms and milking his victim status to keep the grift rolling
 
chris chan trial is finalized with the least satisfying and least funny sentence
keffals probably does some retarded shit that gets tranny twitter to hate him
kanye west calls himself a nigger on live television
fatties get fatter
troons seethe
kiwis sneed
 
My prediction is that it’s going to be highly entertaining, just like every year is.
 
Depressed_Oni said:
I unironically believe Amberlynn Reid (or however you spell it) will die of health complications by December 2023
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Bullshit. Boogie2988 has been severely morbidly obese since childhood and is 48 and still living on his own without any visible life threatening health conditions. Amber is going to make it to 60 and I'll bet money on that.
 
Null said:
ok retards what's your predictions for 2023
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  • Ethan is gonna drunk drive into a pole, end up in a wheelchair.
  • Chris will get acquitted on some bullshit technicality, it will get buried in the press because bad optics.
  • Naomi gets sent to a ccp camp, Timaz gets another bimbo with fake tits to replace her, hardly anyone notices.
  • Boogie dies on the toilet.
  • Avocado gets drafted to Ukraine.
  • Robbay will make a comeback, unfortunately.
  • Biden will die from oldfartiness, all heil Copmala
  • Putin will commit suicide by 6 self inflicted shotgun blasts to the back of the head, and then he jumped off a window, new president Mendeleev only witness to all this.
  • Tim gets his beanie stolen again.
  • Nigri starts doing porn, nothing happens.
  • Moomoo goes to jail.
  • Keffals gets cancelled by the same people that supported his dumb ass over some wrongthink, probably anheros, but we get the blame anyway.
 
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