have you committed any crimes recently? - confess here!

[cwcville]

 

[thhrang]

I right-clicked on an NFT and saved it onto my computer for free. The Cyberpolice are now tracking me.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

I've made a really fat gorl really fuhrerious for three years running now. Is that a crime, or a mitzvah?

 

[Truman the Jewman]

I pay all my debts in Eisenhower dollars and two-dollar bills. Old people love me.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

I saw a guy coughing in public and I didn't throw holy water on him and call the snitch line or police

 

[Billy Beer]

Necrophilic incest rape.

 

[CreamyHerman’s]

I right-clicked on an NFT and saved it onto my computer for free. The Cyberpolice are now tracking me.

Beat them to death

 

[Dysnomia]

I took a whole bunch of those really thick napkins out of the dispenser in the hospital bathroom. They're better than most brands of paper towels and are 100% free.

 

[Product Placement]

Went to a self-checkout till but it kept acting retarded and no staff was about, ended up stealing the pack of gum it was freaking out about

 

[JethroTullamore]

I took a pudding from a gas station once like ten years ago.

 

[Jason Wynn]

I once bought beer for my brother and his friends who were around 19-20 at the time, not the legal drinking age in America

…am I going to hell now?

 

[Lady Reines]

Not recently, but almost exactly 15 years ago, I was disobeying the "don't try this at home" pro wrestling moves with friends at school. Expertly, I dedicated myself to mastering the front facing suplex. But one day, I wanted to do the German suplex, one that is done from behind. Long story short, I lifted the skinniest and shortest kid at school and basically launched him onto the back of his head and neck. Somehow, ended up breaking his right clavicle and elbow.

Of course, I wasn't charged with anything or even got in trouble because he told the facility staff that he just fell off of something while climbing it. It was a rather rural area and we actually had a patch of green for the our playground and for some reason, I thought doing this in grass would be a lot less devastating than woodchips or sand or the pavement.

His arm grew funny after that. 10/10 would happily German suplex someone again