Have you had a near death experience? - Maybe NSFL.

Disco Inferno

Disco Inferno

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kiwifarms.net
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May 13, 2020
I took an uber to work. My uber drive was going 144 KPH on a highway. There was a brief moment where he lost control and scrapped against the safety barrier. I didn't get the "life flashing before your eyes" treatment. All I remember is sparks and broken glass flying everywhere. Thankfully, the driver was able to regain control and we didn't flip over.
 
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I'd had three of them by the time I was twelve years old:
* mom's car hydroplaned on the interstate, spun out over the median and through two lanes of oncoming traffic before stopping just short of slamming into a tree
* bitten by a venomous snake in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone reception and several hours of canoeing away from the car
* hit by a car
 
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Nearly had a head-on on a five lane road where someone somehow managed to drift three lanes over into oncoming traffic. I guess it probably wasn't technically near-death since the car behind us did get hit and everybody lived and some even managed to just walk away from it, but I was in a 93 explorer which was a bit of a deathtrap of a vehicle and not wearing my seatbelt so it might not have gone as well for me.
 
I got slammed into by some jerkoff who was on his phone and missed his red light. That was pretty bad.
 
one new years eve a random bullet flew through my window, missed my head by a foot or so, basically had he pulled the trigger an 1/8 of a second earlier (or later, however he was flailing his arms) it would have been some G-13 shit
 
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When I was a kid I used to shoot bows and I almost got hit by a misfire at a field tournament (that's where you shoot at 3d foam animals. usually held in the woods).
 
I was smothered and couldn't breathe. My lungs were collapsing. I felt life slipping away from me. Then a bright light appeared above me, and I stared into it accepting I was about to meet Jesus in Heaven. Then the cop said "you fat nigga bitch get off him, no sex in the park!", turned off the flashlight and I was returned to Earth.

It was a close call.
 
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Shot in the neck by a dumbass friend being stupid at close range with a pellet rifle. The pellet is still in my neck. My life didn't flash before eyes, but heard a voice in my head saying my name and that I wouldnt die in the next 5 minutes. The pellet is 3/16th of an inch from my carotid artery. Fraction of an inch from death.
 
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Mellisuga Helenae said:
Had sex with an obese woman on top of me, cowgirl style. Almost crushed my guts out through my mouth like toothpaste being squeezed from a tube.
Click to expand...
I had a buddy trapped under a landwhale at a party, he had his arm under her back and she went in a k-hole and he was basically stuck.
we'd check in on him periodically to laugh at him and make sure he was okay
 
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