Having Children

[Burning Love]

Medically speaking, I can't have biological children anymore. I'm okay with the idea of adoption. Kids love me, I love them, I've found myself raising a few (my nephew first and then my other nephew and now my niece, all from the same momma)... and it's a bunch of bullshit when they're diapers age, but kids 5+ can be cool as shit. I might adopt in another 7 years or so. I'm nowhere near stable enough now. My living situation sucks, I can't find work where I'm at, and I still need like... 5 surgeries. It's all good, though. Unlike most women I don't mind getting older, actually kind of enjoy it, because the older I get the younger I look. I know I'm one of those people that will be thirty carting a kid around and people are going to think they're my brother/sister because I'll look like I'm 14. :mrgreen:

It's pretty cool when it looks like you age in reverse. At 17, I could have passed as a 40 year old. At 21, I looked about 25. 23? I get confused for a high school kid. That's a bit OT but fucking tell me that's not a stroke of brilliant luck after the punch in the gut of being unable to have kids.

 

[exball]

Sure, I like kids. I wouldn't be here if my parents hadn't wanted kids, so why not.

 

[SlowInTheMinds]

Medically speaking, I can't have biological children anymore. I'm okay with the idea of adoption. Kids love me, I love them, I've found myself raising a few (my nephew first and then my other nephew and now my niece, all from the same momma)... and it's a bunch of bullshit when they're diapers age, but kids 5+ can be cool as shit. I might adopt in another 7 years or so. I'm nowhere near stable enough now. My living situation sucks, I can't find work where I'm at, and I still need like... 5 surgeries. It's all good, though. Unlike most women I don't mind getting older, actually kind of enjoy it, because the older I get the younger I look. I know I'm one of those people that will be thirty carting a kid around and people are going to think they're my brother/sister because I'll look like I'm 14. :mrgreen:

It's pretty cool when it looks like you age in reverse. At 17, I could have passed as a 40 year old. At 21, I looked about 25. 23? I get confused for a high school kid. That's a bit OT but fucking tell me that's not a stroke of brilliant luck after the punch in the gut of being unable to have kids.

I actually consider adopting kids one of the best things a good Christian can do. You allow kids that otherwise would have gotten a generally shitty life (think starvation, hunger, abuse) to live a good life.

If I adopt a kid, I'd probably adopt one between ages 4-7, saves all the sleepless nights (and allows excluding retarded kids from adoption, which is a big plus)

 

[Night Terror]

I'm rather split. On one hand, I seriously hate children. I've never met a strange child I've liked. They just aggravate me on levels incomprehensible by man.
On the other, I keep thinking about how cool it'd be to have a son of my own. Someone to teach about the world, to share his first beer with, to play games with, to carry around and buy ice creams with. To be a fucking awesome dad who gets shit done. Be a hero to a little kid.
I still don't think I'll have kids, though. GF doesn't like them either.

 

[The Hunter]

Alright, I managed to sing myself out of a rut, so might as well try to confront what was making me upset.

I have this feeling that one day, I'll be ready for kids. Probably sooner than I expect. Just not now. And I'm not gonna go into too much detail, but I'm worried to death over something that I'm not sure if anyone else here has considered.

I'm really not expecting any child of mine to fit in with a crowd at school. I want to raise an intelligent, moral son or daughter and express interests with him or her that we can both share. Now, to some extent, I really did fit in at school, and I am seen as socially acceptable despite my odd interests and often strange behavior as well as the company I keep. And my whole life, I knew more kids had to be like me. Nobodies who just blend in with the rest of society aiming not to be the best, but to do the best. But something happened recently that set me off, like I said, I won't go into detail, and I'm really worried about how other kids will treat mine. What if I raise this awesome, wonderful, funny, bright little kid who always makes my days better and knows how to make me smile, and I send them off to school only to be harassed by a bunch of awful brats and sent home crying? As a parent, how the hell am I supposed to handle something like that? I know how to deal with the problem, but the emotional damage that the both of us are going to face is a little too much for me to think about. The closest anyone has ever come to being bullied in this family was my youngest sister, and when I heard that was happening, I had to fight back tears in public in front of a bunch of parents and my own family.

So what about the rest of you? Is this something you've taken into account yet? I know there's a lot of sensible approaches to this kind of situation, but even though it's never happened to me, the idea of conflict still terrifies me.

 

[Pikonic]

fear of unpopularity things

Go watch or rewatch the first episode of Breaking Bad. Handle it that way.

I was bullied in Middle School, but I was a damn good swimmer so I got a little high school athlete cred. All and all I feel like I'm a good person with good accomplishments, I got a job, a degree in biology, my own apartment, and a stable relationship, some thing my bullies actually don't have. I guess do what my patents did, tell kids to toughen up, if you get fucked with or beaten, tell them off and throw a punch if need be. If they get suspended for fight back a bully, so be it. They won't get fucked with again.

 

[Mourning Dove]

KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE

But yeah, I agree with Niachu's sentiments. There are too many things I need to improve and things I want to do, so I'm not thinking about this issue right now.

Recently I went shopping at Babies 'R Us for someone's baby shower. Another time I saw some medical bills from the hospital from when I was born; it cost around $4000 in late 1980's dollars to deliver me. BABIES/YOUNG CHILDREN ARE VERY EXPENSIVE! I'm very, very glad I never became a teen/early 20's mother like many of the people in my high school graduating class...

 

[Watcher]

KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE

But yeah, I agree with Niachu's sentiments. There are too many things I need to improve and things I want to do, so I'm not thinking about this issue right now.

Recently I went shopping at Babies 'R Us for someone's baby shower. Another time I saw some medical bills from the hospital from when I was born; it cost around $4000 in late 1980's dollars to deliver me. BABIES/YOUNG CHILDREN ARE VERY EXPENSIVE! I'm very, very glad I never became a teen/early 20's mother like many of the people in my high school graduating class...

When delivery at a hospital becomes too expensive either the family does it themselves or pays a midwife to do it.

Granted this was back in the days when being a midwife was still a thing and people were constantly having children.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I saw someone with a midwife sticker on their SUV (I believe they had a vanity license plate as well about their profession), so yeah, they're still around. Then again, I'm not too far from Amish/Mennonite country, so there's that.

 

[Picklepower]

My kid will be a cat who I will name Lawrence. And if its a girl, Ophelia.

 

[Fialovy]

My kid will be a cat who I will name Lawrence. And if its a girl, Ophelia.

Reminds me of my one married uncle with his dogs. Some people think he's selfish, but he's like,"So what if I am selfish? Wouldn't it be better off if someone who is selfish not have kids anyways?" I do like that argument since parenting, as rewarding as it can be, is definitely not for everyone and I'd rather have people recognize that they'd probably be better without kids than having them only then to realize, because honestly, one can't assume that a person is going to completely change after kids just as one can't assume that he/she will change if they get married. One also has to realize that while, your life isn't totally over after kids, it's definitely gonna start a new chapter that you definitely shouldn't start too prematurely.

 

[teheviltwin]

I'm at the age where my ovaries have a mind of their own. I definitely want kids but first I have to be stable, off medication, a non-smoker and in a better financial position. As an atheist it's the only meaning of life after death to me. I think that me and my partner are more than capable of raising kind, helpful and productive members of society. I also think it's the closest you can be to another person. To grow a child, that is half their DNA, inside yourself and bond with that child. The human body is amazing.

 

[pickleniggo]

My kid will be a cat who I will name Lawrence. And if its a girl, Ophelia.

Sorry picklepower, I don't think people can breed with cats...yet?

 

[Picklepower]

My kid will be a cat who I will name Lawrence. And if its a girl, Ophelia.

Sorry picklepower, I don't think people can breed with cats...yet?

Science is WORKIN ON IT!

 

[Watcher]

My kid will be a cat who I will name Lawrence. And if its a girl, Ophelia.

Sorry picklepower, I don't think people can breed with cats...yet?

Science is WORKIN ON IT!

lolbeastialityjokes

 

[Asperchu_Super_Fan]

Does anyone have children? Do you have plans or desires to reproduce? Discuss

Christ I feel like I'm coming off as a massive judgemental prick.

I don't think you're judgmental at all - kids are work and sacrifice, and I respect people who, for whatever reason, try to improve their lives before having kids or show enough responsibility to not have kids when they know they can't provide. Kids aren't for everyone. Plato said we could also give birth "in beauty" by making positive contributions to the world, or things like beautiful art. It's a lofty ideal.

But kids are awesome. Kids would actually be pretty fortunate to have thoughtful parents like some of the folks on this forum. Sure, we live in a world of Miley Cyrus and on demand transformers porn, but we all got through it, and your kids will too. Kids are much more resilient than we give them credit for and are downright tough when we give them confidence and guidance.

Consider Chris your crash course on bad parenting . Just check the CWCki for anti-parenting advice and you'll raise the next Einstein.

 

[Niachu]

Funny how most of the women who ask me if I want kids someday say "I said the same thing" when I would say "no, never." I guess the power of the ovary really DOES compel you.

Truth be told I've had some awesome men (teachers mostly) in my life and I really do envy their wives for knowing how to pick 'em. It makes me want a super smart husband with a doctorate like my anthropology teacher to raise really smart kids and improve our community together. I've had good behaviors modeled for me and I need to model them for any kids I have.

 

[The Hunter]

It makes me want a super smart husband with a doctorate like my anthropology teacher to raise really smart kids and improve our community together. I've had good behaviors modeled for me and I need to model them for any kids I have.

Too bad I'm already in a committed relationship with cheeseburgers.

 

[teheviltwin]

Funny how most of the women who ask me if I want kids someday say "I said the same thing" when I would say "no, never." I guess the power of the ovary really DOES compel you.

Truth be told I've had some awesome men (teachers mostly) in my life and I really do envy their wives for knowing how to pick 'em. It makes me want a super smart husband with a doctorate like my anthropology teacher to raise really smart kids and improve our community together. I've had good behaviors modeled for me and I need to model them for any kids I have.

It's bizarre. They take over in a really subtle way. Because of our age difference (bf is a few years younger than me) bf lets me get it out of my system by loudly demanding "babies NAO!" because he knows that I am not really interested until we have our lives sorted.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Funny how most of the women who ask me if I want kids someday say "I said the same thing" when I would say "no, never." I guess the power of the ovary really DOES compel you.

Truth be told I've had some awesome men (teachers mostly) in my life and I really do envy their wives for knowing how to pick 'em. It makes me want a super smart husband with a doctorate like my anthropology teacher to raise really smart kids and improve our community together. I've had good behaviors modeled for me and I need to model them for any kids I have.

I have the IQ of a radish.

Dream dashed.