Having the Sadz - What do you do when life bitch slaps you?

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Sincere thanks to all, it means a lot.

Yes, I know my sadz are not true depression, but getting through the meantime makes it very front and center at the moment. Kind of 50/50 stress vs. depression.

I have been going for walks in the beautiful woods here, but also working remotely and dealing with mom issues a good part of each day. I'm generally a positive person and relatively happy with my life and who and what I am. Just not used to having such an emotional boat anchor tied around my neck and trying to tread water.

And yes, her cats are her reason for living it seems. They are overfed because she's not remembering that she fed them already.

Assisted living is the only real solution at this point and that's what I'm working towards, but damn, it's baby steps in getting there. My own life is on hold and I really can't return home until some resolution is reached here.
 
Sad to hear about your problems OP, tho at least consider yourself fortunate for being in your 60s and still having a live parent, most people seem to bury theirs in their late 30s or early 40s.

I wish I had the answer. I've been struggling with severe depression since middle school, and it's only gotten worse over the years. Finding distractions is about the only thing I've been able to do, as medications have never helped at all.
What meds they got you on?
They will treat you as one.
Once you are being treated as a non-depressed person, it is much easier to act as a non-depressed person. If you do that for long enough it will become your normal state of being. And then, if you're lucky, it all goes away.
Mental illness is being put into a pedestal but people still treat actual depressives like pariahs
 
@Miss Chance has good advice. Respect yourself, treat yourself with the dignity you deserve. There's nothing wrong with you, you're not a sped, you're just dealing with some heavy shit and you deserve respect for that - including from yourself.
You sound like you're trying to calm down a manic unmarried childless middle-aged woman lol

This guy should get some real life friends to talk to instead of venting on a cyber bullying forum about retards
 
Sad to hear about your problems OP, tho at least consider yourself fortunate for being in your 60s and still having a live parent, most people seem to bury theirs in their late 30s or early 40s.
Thank you, appreciated.

Your keyword to me was a "live" parent. Yes, she's physically breathing and has a heartbeat. Her brain is scrambled eggs. Today was not good. I had to break bad on her, even though we had a lucid discussion yesterday and she agreed to my plan. In one ear, out the other today and it wasn't pretty at all. I did manage to teleconference the doc and get home health care set up for her. Said earlier, baby steps.

Big sigh... vodka is my friend right now. I can't get into it all here. But again, I HONESTLY appreciate the hope and support I'm getting from y'all. It does help!

I'll never make my son deal with this. An hero, whatever. Most y'all are still youngsters and I'm okay and love y'all for it. But these are the issues age brings, and fuck me, they're so difficult to deal with.

:feels:

This guy should get some real life friends to talk to instead of venting on a cyber bullying forum about retards
I have real life friends. Most I've known for 40 years or more. They can only help to a point and I do talk to them for sanity checks.

My personal belief is that people are genuinely good, even here, where we can bash the stupidity of troons, cows, and others, yet still have a connection amongst ourselves as Farmers.

None of us, I repeat, none of us are islands. We all encounter something in our lives we're not in any way prepared to deal with on an individual basis. This is my current cross, I'm only asking for help in carrying it across the quicksand.

Love you, man.
 
I write. I take whatever bad thing I’m dealing with (or craft a new narrative with it) and write about my feelings and thoughts on it. Then I explore those avenues some more. It usually leads to a lot of introspection and it helps me get my head wrapped around it. Also, I like it when I come up with some eloquent sentence to describe a fraction of the jumbled thoughts in my head. It soothes me. Sort of.
 
I have real life friends. Most I've known for 40 years or more. They can only help to a point and I do talk to them for sanity checks.

My personal belief is that people are genuinely good, even here, where we can bash the stupidity of troons, cows, and others, yet still have a connection amongst ourselves as Farmers.

None of us, I repeat, none of us are islands. We all encounter something in our lives we're not in any way prepared to deal with on an individual basis. This is my current cross, I'm only asking for help in carrying it across the quicksand.

Love you, man.
Nah don't worry, that's just Fat Ash Jankowski. She thinks I'm stalking her because I laughed at her in a thread she started herself. She responds to these claims of stalking by following people from thread to thread to try to insult them. This is just a small example of her hipocrisy and stupidity.

She’s a fat angry schizo Tankie, and ironically, given the context of this thread, she really should kill herself immediately.
 
I have real life friends. Most I've known for 40 years or more. They can only help to a point and I do talk to them for sanity checks.

My personal belief is that people are genuinely good, even here, where we can bash the stupidity of troons, cows, and others, yet still have a connection amongst ourselves as Farmers.

None of us, I repeat, none of us are islands. We all encounter something in our lives we're not in any way prepared to deal with on an individual basis. This is my current cross, I'm only asking for help in carrying it across the quicksand.

Love you, man.
Holy shit, you're so cringe. Are you sure you're not an alcoholic suburban mom halfway into a bottle of xanax?
Nah don't worry, that's just Fat Ash Jankowski. She thinks I'm stalking her because I laughed at her in a thread she started herself. She responds to these claims of stalking by following people from thread to thread to try to insult them. This is just a small example of her hipocrisy and stupidity.

She’s a fat angry schizo Tankie, and ironically, given the context of this thread, she really should kill herself immediately.
Someone's self-centered lol. Sounds like should take a break from the internet for a bit.
 
I combine medications in a way that they explicitly tell you to never combine them, as it is extremely dangerous. However, based on my neurochemistry, it helps to break my depressive episodes, which literally don't respond to anything else (anything anyone can suggest I try instead, I have literally tried over the last 20+ years). I absolutely do not recommend anyone else do this.
 
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Has nobody mentioned lifting some weights or going for a run yet? Something about being all out of breath is a natural antidepressant or perhaps it's just that you can't think about your problems when you're trying to hit a PR.

To share: a good friend of mine died about 5 years ago and the anniversary was this week. I realised it had passed me by for the first time without realising it and the wave of loss I normally feel just wasn't there. I felt bad for not really feeling anything about it. Later, I walked past the restaurant he used to work at and I looked out for him even though he wouldn't be there. There's no real point to this story, it's just shit.
 
Sincere thanks to all, it means a lot.

Yes, I know my sadz are not true depression, but getting through the meantime makes it very front and center at the moment. Kind of 50/50 stress vs. depression.

I have been going for walks in the beautiful woods here, but also working remotely and dealing with mom issues a good part of each day. I'm generally a positive person and relatively happy with my life and who and what I am. Just not used to having such an emotional boat anchor tied around my neck and trying to tread water.

And yes, her cats are her reason for living it seems. They are overfed because she's not remembering that she fed them already.

Assisted living is the only real solution at this point and that's what I'm working towards, but damn, it's baby steps in getting there. My own life is on hold and I really can't return home until some resolution is reached here.
I will freely admit that I can't relate to a lot of this, but I've sorta been there (most notably when my mother passed at all of 42 years old). All I can suggest is that you need to remember to do what you need to do to take care of yourself after you've seen to her and then try to step back a bit - when you're in the thick of things, it's hard to remember your own needs. Talk to any friends you trust about it - putting things out there verbally and getting perspective from an outsider that cares is hugely helpful. Worst case (or if that isn't helpful), talk to a professional.
 
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