Help, I Accidentally Bought Mario Party Instead Of Smash - hee incompetent game journos hee

[AnOminous]

I don't even understand why this article exist. It's not even a journalist article but some sort of... written vlog. On a private blog I would understand but why published this shit on a "serious gaming journalist site" ? Who gives a damn about a story like that ?

Absolutely fucking nobody. That is why nobody views these mentally defective hacks as anything on the level of even fake news journalists.

 

[deeman]

Remember when Kotaku games "journalists" were just so stupid and incompetent they couldn't make it past the tutorial of games and lost intelligence contests to a pigeon?

Spoiler: "journalist" losing IQ contest against pigeon

Now they're literally so stupid they can't even buy the game in the first place?

Aww... how cute... because it IS from a "Take your child to work day" video right? Because my niece would probably play better and she's 6.

 

[Ledian]

A smart journalist would've focused on the whole "oh you bought something on accident or don't want it anymore? Fuck you bitch" refund policy and actually bring about some good consumer change to mind in people. Probably highlight the change Steam made on refunds and how it's an enshrined right in Australia that they have to guarantee refunds.
Would be quite the story.

Good thing Kotaku journalists have no idea what they're doing. I mean, how else does one buy Super Mario Party on accident?

Spoiler

Also, what fun-hating loser hates Mario Party? Hating 9 and 10 I understand but holy fuck, what shitty childhood did you have to have to despise such a fun, friendship destroying series?

 

[AnOminous]

A smart journalist would've focused on the whole "oh you bought something on accident or don't want it anymore? Fuck you bitch" refund policy and actually bring about some good consumer change to mind in people.

A smart journalist wouldn't have written an article about an act of embarrassing stupidity on the level of "hurr durr I shit my pants and now my finger tastes funny."

 

[Bread Fetishist]

Remember when Kotaku games "journalists" were just so stupid and incompetent they couldn't make it past the tutorial of games and lost intelligence contests to a pigeon?

Spoiler: "journalist" losing IQ contest against pigeon

Actually, that was Venturebeat, but I understand the confusion. All these incompetent game journos are the exact same.

 

[Ledian]

A smart journalist wouldn't have written an article about an act of embarrassing stupidity on the level of "hurr durr I shit my pants and now my finger tastes funny."

I think the key of "smart journalist" is assuming we'll find one in the age of clickbait. They're unicorns.
The quality of journalism has fallen far these days, though that's not saying much now is it?

 

[aFairlyOddFaggot]

next kotaku article will be about a game journalist getting their dick stuck in a toaster just wait.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

I Misspent a Relatively Small Amount of Money: the Article

 

[Secret Asshole]

Remember when Kotaku games "journalists" were just so stupid and incompetent they couldn't make it past the tutorial of games and lost intelligence contests to a pigeon?

Spoiler: "journalist" losing IQ contest against pigeon

Now they're literally so stupid they can't even buy the game in the first place?

Games journalists in the past (20 or so years ago) were basically overqualified enthusiasts who were willing to take a pay cut to do their passion. Once mags died and the net became a thing, the margins for classic games journos were too small. So they went back to their higher paying professions.

This lead to a huge glut of talentless hacks. Eventually, nobody trusted or read them anymore. They were replaced by word of mouth and YouTube. Demand for journos has dropped drastically while supply of really terrible journalism and gender studies majors has skyrocketed. So games journalism has become the dumping ground of the absolute worst, lowest tier hack who couldn't get a job writing porn toy reviews. They basically only survive on corporate grift and outrage clicks.

They are some of the stupidest motherfuckers around. Like really, painfully dumb. They don't care about the hobby because they aren't enthusiasts. They're trash tier college grads that couldn't get any other job. They end up making less than minimum wage well into their forties and live off ebaying swag they get.

Of course they're too fucking stupid to buy the right game. They're gaming journalists.

Is she fucking proud of her dumbass? Why write this?

Because these sites only survive by outrage clicks now. That's why this dumb cunt is so proud she's a fucking mongoloid. She only exists for people to throw shit at like the low IQ sideshow freak she is so the circus gets some nickles and dimes.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

well you know what they say:
when life gives you lemons, write an angry article complaining about it

 

[Slap47]

Games journalists in the past (20 or so years ago) were basically overqualified enthusiasts who were willing to take a pay cut to do their passion. Once mags died and the net became a thing, the margins for classic games journos were too small. So they went back to their higher paying professions.

This lead to a huge glut of talentless hacks. Eventually, nobody trusted or read them anymore. They were replaced by word of mouth and YouTube. Demand for journos has dropped drastically while supply of really terrible journalism and gender studies majors has skyrocketed. So games journalism has become the dumping ground of the absolute worst, lowest tier hack who couldn't get a job writing porn toy reviews. They basically only survive on corporate grift and outrage clicks.

They are some of the stupidest motherfuckers around. Like really, painfully dumb. They don't care about the hobby because they aren't enthusiasts. They're trash tier college grads that couldn't get any other job. They end up making less than minimum wage well into their forties and live off ebaying swag they get.

Of course they're too fucking stupid to buy the right game. They're gaming journalists.



Because these sites only survive by outrage clicks now. That's why this dumb cunt is so proud she's a fucking mongoloid. She only exists for people to throw shit at like the low IQ sideshow freak she is so the circus gets some nickles and dimes.

No, games journalism has always been mostly terrible.

Rampant bribes, actual retarded people and extreme laziness has always defined it.

 

[BeanBidan]

How the fuck does someone accidentally buy the wrong game? Can they not read the label on the game package? Can they not read the title on the e-commerce site?
Kotaku is really hiring some well-educated black women to write their articles of late.

though I must say if she ordered it online from game stop. I really wouldn't doubt they mixed up the game. a few years back I ordered Marvel VS Capcom 3 and got SSF4 instead.

But going into a store, buying the game yet grabbing the wrong case therefore getting the wrong game is her own fault and should probably go get her eyes checked. She probably just saw a bunch of Mario characters and assumed it was smash.

 

[Secret Asshole]

No, games journalism has always been mostly terrible.

Rampant bribes, actual exceptional people and extreme laziness has always defined it.

I don't ever remember them being this fucking re.tarded. Or shitting on their audience this much. It was NEVER as bad as it was now. It is only as it is now because it is the absolute lowest tier writing job on the net. You can't get any lower. Freelance blogging would be more lucrative.

They could at least play a fucking video game back then. Now you have these dumb faggots docking points because it's too hard. Or a female character shows a bit too much fake cleavage. It is very shallowly similar in that there was grift and laziness, but it was nowhere near like this. This is like going to a car dealer when you're writing for a car mag and you accidentally pick up an Audi instead of a Volkswagen.

 

[Corbin Dallas Multipass]

Don't worry, the quality of the article was not at all impacted by the author's failure to buy the correct game. So at least there's a silver lining.

 

[ColorfulCassowary]

I wonder how you could top this.
- "In 2018, should touching the sides of an enemy still hurt you?"
- "Help, I bought a Mattel Hyperscan instead of a PS4."
- "My Five Hour Quest To Find The Jump Button."
- "I bought 30 Yoshi amiibos instead of one by accident. Anybody want one?"
- "Lesson Learned: How I Learned How To Pause The Game"

I was gonna include "There should be a way to skip gameplay just like you can skip cutscenes", but that's already an actual thing.

Remember when Kotaku games "journalists" were just so stupid and incompetent they couldn't make it past the tutorial of games and lost intelligence contests to a pigeon?

Spoiler: "journalist" losing IQ contest against pigeon

Now they're literally so stupid they can't even buy the game in the first place?

The thing that bugs me, like, you don't have to be good at a game. You don't have to be god. Cuphead's a hard game, it'll kick your ass a few times, guaranteed. But this is completely incompetent. It's like "I'm not a very good writer" vs "I can't even write an A".

 

[Judge Dredd]

The thing that bugs me, like, you don't have to be good at a game. You don't have to be god. Cuphead's a hard game, it'll kick your ass a few times, guaranteed. But this is completely incompetent. It's like "I'm not a very good writer" vs "I can't even write an A".

Didn't DSP manage to beat cuphead?

 

[Fagnacious D]

I was gonna include "There should be a way to skip gameplay just like you can skip cutscenes", but that's already an actual thing.

You mean good ole Jennifer "Hamburger" Hepler.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

This shit is why we need to stop calling these people "jounalists"

They're over glorified bloggers with unwarranted self importance.

 

[Haramburger]

I didn't think I could hate Gita Jackson any harder, but here we are!

 

[Orkeosaurus]

You know what the difference between Mario Party players and Smash players is? Mario party players have friends.