Help me, I just bought a turntable

Splendid

Splendid

> Moderating KF for free
Retired Staff
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
I just bought a turntable that scans the entire record, then lets you select what song you want to play.
Please help me, I've lost all control of my life.

It arrives on the 29th.
 
  • DRINK!
  • Feels
Reactions: ToroidalBoat and MightyBiteySnake
When you say "scans the entire record" like are we talking it optically reads the music (possible, but implausible) or just looks for gaps and assumes those are the tracks or something?
 
Use your newfound vinyl records prowess to become lord of the hipsters and create your own mass-suicide cult.
 
you ordered something that all out Grannies have gathering dust in the corner because no thrift store will take it?

you absolute fool.

re-evaluate your life. Now.

" scans the entire record, then lets you select what song you want to play"

just lift the needle up and put it on the lines between the songs. tech unnecessary.
 
Last edited:
Wait until Friday night when you feel alright. Have a party on the Westside.
 
polonium said:
When you say "scans the entire record" like are we talking it optically reads the music (possible, but implausible) or just looks for gaps and assumes those are the tracks or something?
Click to expand...
The latter.

The Lawgiver said:
Create an entire record with nothing but skeleton anthems.
Click to expand...
How the fuck would I cut a record?

WireSponge said:
Use your newfound vinyl records prowess to become lord of the hipsters and create your own mass-suicide cult.
Click to expand...
I only want cool shitposter in my death cult.

BurningPewter said:
you ordered something that all out Grannies have gathering dust in the corner because no thrift store will take it?

you absolute fool.

re-evaluate your life. Now.

" scans the entire record, then lets you select what song you want to play"

just lift the needle up and put it on the lines between the songs. tech unnecessary.
Click to expand...
In lazy and this is some rare thing that I'm saving from jerk off audiophiles.
Positron said:
You aren't talking about this thing aren't you? It costs more than a house and a car.
Click to expand...
It cost me $130 on eBay.
 
If it's come to this, there's only one thing you can do to get a grip on your life:

giphy.gif
 
Well, I'm afraid it's too late, you've contracted the deadly illness known as hipster. In a few weeks you will start vaping and from there you'll start feeling an uncontrollable urge to be "dapper". End stage hipster has you believing that you are masculine, despite your frame and features becoming more feminine, and feeling some sort of euphoria as your wife tells you that she's going out to fuck a bunch of other guys.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Varg Did Nothing Wrong, Splendid and Postal Dude
Damocles_Sword said:
Well, I'm afraid it's too late, you've contracted the deadly illness known as hipster. In a few weeks you will start vaping and from there you'll start feeling an uncontrollable urge to be "dapper". End stage hipster has you believing that you are masculine, despite your frame and features becoming more feminine, and feeling some sort of euphoria as your wife tells you that she's going out to fuck a bunch of other guys.
Click to expand...
oh my God, I'm so sorry. I've lost friends to hipster.. it was... not pretty.
 
Quick, counter the hipsterness with autistic bullshit!
But beware! Falsely dosed you might turn into a tumblrina.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back