hey can anyone read my story

[Rungle]

i want to write more and i just need some good criticism for once.
I am so desperate im posting it on the neo-nazi alt-right forum titled kiwiforum

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xctKGknWZWmERIlzUdiPZxDH842u13AH2oPW9rq4JTw/edit

 

[New & Improved Username]

Is this serious? Why is there no paragraph structure? Have you ever read anything printed on actual paper?

 

[Colchis]

I like it! I like the feeling, even though the whole text is in a weird manner I like it quite a lot, If you want a more harsh criticism I must say that I hope you have something behind the great victory, Dou you have a vague idea or just came into your mind? still I like the atmosphere, ¡good work keep going!

 

[JethroTullamore]

I genuinely can’t tell if you’re trolling, or if you just really need to find a different hobby.

 

[LurkTrawl]

Lost me at "Hey, ya still with me bucko" because nobody talks like that.

 

[Ebonic Tutor]

I don't know how to read.

 

[Crankenstein]

I got you, my nigger