/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

[I.B. Niggin]

In general I think sci-fi is shit and I avoid it like the plague, especially in the horror genre, however recently I watch one called The Lazarus Effect: Starring Mark Duplass (Creep 1+2) Evan Peter's (American Horror Story) and Sarah Bolger (Emelie) I'm sure more notable actors are in it for others but for me these 3 are the reason I watched it. Lackluster ending but overall a pretty solid movie for sci-fi horror IMO.View attachment 6529114

I legit fell asleep in the theater watching this

 

[BrunoMattei]

Super obscure Indian (feather) slasher movie. Even I am only vaguely familiar with it. "Oh, that Indian slasher. Yeah..." Glad to see VS restore another forgotten title. I'd say it's pretty decent but only worth a look for slasher diehards.

 

[ibeatmywife]

Have any of you ever had the urge to see Dennis Quaid (parent trap) stomp a kids head in until he dies? Well now you can in Beneath the Darkness - 2011. Considering this is new age horror I'm gonna give it a 7.5 out of 10. Not the best movie I've ever seen but definitely not bad or terrible.

 

[Product Placement]

Have any of you ever had the urge to see Dennis Quaid (parent trap) stomp a kids head in until he dies? Well now you can in Beneath the Darkness - 2011. Considering this is new age horror I'm gonna give it a 7.5 out of 10. Not the best movie I've ever seen but definitely not bad or terrible.View attachment 6532188

This was one of my watches this month. It was pretty shit, gave it 3/10. Gore wise, really don't see shit and stomps until he dies is really over hyping it, he does one stomp. Quaid is good at playing crazies, just there is not really much else noteworthy in the movie.

 

[ibeatmywife]

This was one of my watches this month. It was pretty shit, gave it 3/10. Gore wise, really don't see shit and stomps until he dies is really over hyping it, he does one stomp. Quaid is good at playing crazies, just there is not really much else noteworthy in the movie.

Well tbf this is a horror/drama it's not a slasher movie, while slashers are my favorite for sure I can't hold lack of gore against a film like this, I score this against something like Summer of 84 which I'd rank a bit higher at like an 8. Not much gore in these films but they had a decent story imo.
For a horror drama that is more gory you can check out Super Dark Times - 2017

 

[Your Starter for 10]

This was one of my watches this month. It was pretty shit, gave it 3/10. Gore wise, really don't see shit and stomps until he dies is really over hyping it, he does one stomp. Quaid is good at playing crazies, just there is not really much else noteworthy in the movie.

I hate this movie because I always imagine how fucking GOOD it would've been if it was Randy Quaid instead of Dennis.

 

[Product Placement]

Well tbf this is a horror/drama it's not a slasher movie, while slashers are my favorite for sure I can't hold lack of gore against a film like this, I score this against something like Summer of 84 which I'd rank a bit higher at like an 8. Not much gore in these films but they had a decent story imo. View attachment 6532216
For a horror drama that is more gory you can check out Super Dark Times - 2017 View attachment 6532236

You are right, but when you said "stomp a kid's head in until he dies", it gives the wrong impression of the movie, when it is very tame. It's really a sub-par "my neighbor is up to no good" movie. Have to say I wasn't a fan of Summer of 84 or Super Dark Times as well, but I wouldn't call them bad like I would with Beneath the Darkness.

I hate this movie because I always imagine how fucking GOOD it would've been if it was Randy Quaid instead of Dennis.

Randy Quaid is much better, but don't think Dennis Quaid is bad in nut job roles, just every time he plays one the rest of the movie is dogshit like The Intruder.

 

[Your Starter for 10]

Sat through Sting, some Hulu movie, and I regret it. What a muddled pile of shit. Completely couldn't decide what it wanted to be, and winds up being an utterly forgettable nothing-fest.

It's an Australian production, with an entirely Australian main cast, but for literally no reason, it's set in New York. There's a blizzard going on, which is maybe why they couldn't just set it in Sydney or Porpoise Spit, but the blizzard has no impact whatsoever on the movie (they make no attempt to leave the building, and it doesn't impede anyone from getting there...)

Starts with everyone's fucking favorite, a flash forward (at least the black guy dies, so that's a relief, right off the bat, and I thought "Oh neat, MAYBE this will break some current day rules," but that was the extent of it. Anyway, 4 days earlier. Like there's no fucking narrative mystery to this flash forward, it's the most annoying and pointless thing.

Meteorite smashes into some ancient German woman's junk room, gets discovered by a pre-teen girl, has a spider in it, grows and starts killing everyone. Fair enough, it's a good premise, but that's where anything good ends (except maybe some decent practical effects - but that's just a respectful praise, they're definitely not worth watching this for).

The movie can't decide what the hell it wants to be. It's too gory/violent to be a PG-13 family/precocious you-go-girl teen and her animal movie (don't get your hopes up, it's not that violent or gory at all, just too much for that crowd by far). It's not gory/violent ENOUGH to be just a good, adult R-rated horror movie. The atmosphere and characters aren't NEARLY good enough to be like a claustrophobic drama-horror (this is my best guess at what they're trying for, and it fails miserably). And it just tries to wrap everything up in this schmaltzy step-dad can be a good guy...or is he?...no, he is kind of thing.

It sucks too, because it's a fine (if somewhat unoriginal) premise, with good production value, effects and acting. Or, I guess, the acting WOULD be good if all the Australians weren't trying to be New Yorkers. It's far from being a good movie, but it could've at least been enjoyable if it had picked a lane. Make it a black comedy by getting rid of the family stuff and focusing on the characters it winds up killing off, or by making the girl enjoy getting the spider to do her bidding. Make it a straight dark horror by killing off everyone except the little girl (not because she's a little girl, but because she raised and is friends with the spider), and have a bleak ending. Make it a claustrophobic legit horror by treating it seriously and having them work together and actually deal with having to kill it/escape.

I mean her parents get bit at the beginning of the 3rd act and it IMMEDIATELY shows you they're not dead, and you're like "oh, thanks for wasting the set up, you've made a pile of shit. Again."

Anyway, I did like the chinese guy in it, who plays an autistic biology doctoral student (of course), because he winds up being right about everything that we, the audience know, and he betrays the kid, not for personal gain, but just for general safety and reason.

I'm sure I put more thought into this review than they did into the movie, but seriously, don't waste your time. My expectations were very, very low and I was still disappointed. No titties, a few interesting gore/goo practicals. 1.5/5 (half a star for the effects and because the black guy dies).

 

[Calandrino]

2011. Considering this is new age horror

"New age horror" would be what, the last 28 years or so?

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I watched Smile this morning. The first one.

It was just okay. It was very predictable, and felt like a movie I've seen many times over. A very typical modern studio horror movie.

 

[ibeatmywife]

"New age horror" would be what, the last 28 years or so?

It's really an arbitrary term I made up for me anything after the 90s is new age horror.

 

[Your Starter for 10]

I hate to give it more importance than it deserves (as I think it's super over-rated), but pre- and post-Scream would probalby be a good delineation of new age horror.

I could also be talked into accepting Silence of the Lambs, 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, or Blair Witch Project.

 

[ibeatmywife]

I hate to give it more importance than it deserves (as I think it's super over-rated), but pre- and post-Scream would probalby be a good delineation of new age horror.

I could also be talked into accepting Silence of the Lambs, 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, or Blair Witch Project.

I love scream and also consider it a benchmark there are a few other horror movies in the 90s I enjoyed like Ice cream man but that was more comedy horror enhanced by clint howard's performance

 

[Vampirella]

I hate to give it more importance than it deserves (as I think it's super over-rated), but pre- and post-Scream would probalby be a good delineation of new age horror.

I could also be talked into accepting Silence of the Lambs, 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, or Blair Witch Project.

The end of the awesome creepy poster art era, and the start of depressed pretty "teen" drama actor's faces is the only thing we need on the poster era.

 

[Gutter Twin]

A week ago, due to morbid curiosity on my part, I watched I Saw the TV Glow. Although @Panzerfrau gave a succinct summary of it in the Tranny L's thread a few months back, I thought I'd share my thoughts and some of the notes I took with you all. Not going to spoiler anything because this movie is not worth watching in any way, be it a genuine viewing or hate-watch.

I cannot stress enough how blatant the allegory is and how nothing happens. I would try to focus on other things aside from the trooning out metaphor, but that is the be all end all. You know how Jordan Peele's movies (aside from Nope which I actually liked) are basically leftist talking points disguised as something deep? That's I Saw the TV Glow on roids. It took nearly an hour out of a 100 minute runtime for something mildly interesting to happen. Horror or drama, this movie will bore anyone who isn't a tranny to tears. The two main characters have no personalities, no real arcs, and no chemistry either as friends or lovers. Their entire reason for being is this shitty girl TV show. This should be a character driven-narrative and they have no fucking character. In a word, this film is vapid, just like the trannies who it was made by and for.

Y'know, the movie really is the perfect metaphor for trannies. They have no real personalities, so they attach themselves to media and claim that as their personality. They don't just like anime or Buffy the Vampire Slayer or whatever: they are nothing without those things, whereas you and I are more than the things we consume.

Anyway, to give you more insight, I've posted some of the notes I jotted down in my delirium while watching this crap. I threw some other offhand critiques in there. The last thing I'll say is that I didn't feel angry or put-off by it. I felt nothing. Maybe this is the worst movie I've ever seen, because I can't remember the last time I watched a film and felt so indifferent.

Spoiler: My notes

Tranny movie time

• ugh I hate A24
• I hate how current conventions inform films that are supposed to be set in the 90s/2000s. people would not have talked or in some ways acted like this back then
• bi-flag subliminal spotted
• tranny flag subliminal spotted
• would an episode guide that looks like a novel have existed at this time?
• the 9th grader is grooming the 7th grader nooooooooo
• "ask your father." Of course he has a struggling relationship with his father. Another whitest black family I've ever seen
• oh boy, the girl groomer has an abusive stepdad. How shocking!
• "This TV show feels more real than real life." Tell me you're (the writer) a terminally online loser without telling me you're a terminally online loser
• why tf did he spit into his cotton candy? Gross fuck
• Owen's dad is white?? Gotta evade those racism accusations ig
• more indie white girl music. Why not use 90s music if that's the aesthetic? Or at least make it 90s inspired. Just set it in the 2020s ffs
• There's 70 minutes left fuck me
• If you find Owen relatable, I feel bad for you
• Owen when asked if he likes boys or girls: "I think I like TV shows." HA. He's so sexless. All he knows is the Pink Opaque
• Did bitches in the 90s ever sob hysterically over a fight scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
• Owen's voice sounds like Eddie Redmayne's shitty voice in Jupiter Ascending and now I can't stop thinking about it
• Will they address if the show affects other people like them or is the show meant just for them? (Spoiler from current Gutter: they vaguely imply it's the latter)
• He walks in on two people screwing at his job. ok
• Pretty sure the scene where he comes home to his Dad watching TV is a ripoff of that one scene in the Lisa rpg when you walk into the living room right at the start
• Owen "ma'am"ed Maddy LOL
• random woman in a corset and boots and nothing else randomly comes on to sing seductively. I think it's the indie girl and they're singing a song ABOUT the movie
• Wait I think it's boygenius lmfao
• random cut to Owen wearing a dress and make-up for no reason other than tranny imagery
• Ok it's a bit interesting now with the show influencing them. Only took almost an hour for it to happen
• wait how can the show be built for them if there is a TV guide and other people have heard of it?
• Owen cries like a damn retard
• The concept of Maddy being buried alive, horrified, and then coming back a different person is unnerving. I'll give 'em that
• this should be treating the whole concept as horrifying, but it's more like a demented coming of age story
• Maddy's monologue goes on for more than EIGHT MINUTES
• "I was finally me again." Is it really you, though? This is unnerving in a way I know the writer did not intend
• I sympathize more with Owen's terror at what Maddy is telling him rather than Maddy/"Tara"
• PROVE THAT HE'S THE MAGIC LESBIAN, "TARA." GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BELIEVE YOU
• He never sees Maddy again. And there's 20 minutes left. help
• "It was time for me to become a man. A real adult and productive member of society." Ahh, there it is. The fear of responsibility and arrested development
• Man realizes his childhood cartoon is not what he remembered. More at 11
• "I just felt embarrassed." You should
• all the people stop moving when he breaks down to show he is trapped. "EVERYONE ELSE IS AN NPC BUT ME! ME ME ME!"
• I'm not impressed by anything in this movie

Since it's horror related, I thought everyone ITT would find the director Jane Schoenbrun's (for those not in the know, he's "nonbinary" but he's a MtF in all but name) next film called Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma. The synopsis so far is "a queer filmmaker hired to direct a new installment of a long-running slasher franchise... fixates on the prospect of casting the ‘final girl’ from the original movie, and the two women descend into a frenzy of psychosexual mania." Schoenburn says it's about "sex after transition." Unless something changes majorly in development, I am 99% sure the movie will be Schoenburn's self-insert screwing some poor actress standing in for a classic slasher scream queen (I'm already putting money on the actress being inspired by Neve Campbell).

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Also, lmao at the thumbnail for the YouTube video at the end of the article. Of course this nigga is holding Peeping Tom (it is a fantastic movie though). Somebody at Criterion had to have known.

 

[Calandrino]

I hate to give it more importance than it deserves (as I think it's super over-rated), but pre- and post-Scream would probalby be a good delineation of new age horror.

I could also be talked into accepting Silence of the Lambs, 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, or Blair Witch Project.

My math was 2024 minus 1996 (Scream's release) equals 28. Other watersheds: death of VHS, CGI, streaming. I have seen rants from the mid 20th century that things had really gone downhill with horror movies, but I dunno. Direct-to-streaming horror with digital VHS filters, trying to "recapture the magic", has been a thing for a quite while now. Same kind of stagnation you see in a lot of things.

 

[BrunoMattei]

I just now watched The Substance (2024). I give it an 8 out of 10. It's very French but tongue-in-cheek and the body horror is superb. The director (a chick) channels not just Cronenberg and Kubrick but also Frank Hennenlotter in creating a gory dark comedy.

It was better than Titane (which I hated).

 

[urr13 account]

Terrifier 3 is not as good as Terrifier 2 but still pretty good, better than 1 of course.

In regards to the kid deaths, going in I was mostly concerned that it would be super try-hard edginess and it wasn't, for whatever reason it didn't bother me. I think these movies are so aggressive and lock into a very specific tone that you end up just kind of going with the flow.

I found the death of the child at the start of Halloween Ends (or Kills?) to be worse because in that they portray the kid to be smug and the whole thing is played like it was written by some redditor on r/childfree about the mean kid who deserved to die. very cringe imo. Those David Gordon Green Halloween movies were all very lame and cringe just like his embarrassing Exorcist movie but for some reason his halloween movies got a pass.

Terrifier 3 is fun enough though, it does seem like they are setting up an Army of Darkness-style sequel with Sienna dressed like Xena fighting off demons to save Gabby, I'm curious if they will go all in on this or find a way to fit it into the slasher mold better, I don't know if hardcore terrifier fans would like something that different but that does feel like what is being set-up over the course of Terrifier 2 and now 3.

Smile 2 is better than Smile 1, but if you hated Smile 1 you wont like 2, its roughly the same movie just a bit more polished, some nice sequences, as with Smile 1 it has some ending issues where a big chunk of the 2nd half of the movie was essentially in the main characters head . Overall a solid enough movie.

Thank-you for tuning into Monster Maddness, I will see you next October.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

Can we, as a society, agree to give Ryan Murphy a big bag of money and full creative control, let him realize his vision and then violently beat him into a coma after 4 or 5 episodes have been shot so someone competent can take over an complete his vision in a way that won’t shit the the bed in the most possible retarded way in the last stretch and then when he wakes up we do it all over again with his new project?

Grotesquerie was great and could have been something special right up what might be the single most impressive show shitting its pants and destroying its premise in a single episode I’ve ever seen with the seventh episode.

It’s not like he can’t direct, and yeah Kelce shouldn’t have been stunt casted and the fifth episode felt meandering but the sixth one really fucking picked up and really felt frantic and great in all the right ways…

Then that abortion happened. It’s like he bet he could make the biggest show derailment of all time in a single episode.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

Honestly the fact that I watched it right after Strange Darlings which is easily an indie 9/10 you should go in knowing absolutely nothing about just made it all the more fucking annoying.