How about a game of Fortunately, Unfortunately? - Hopefully it'll entertain some of us during quarantine

[Bender]

Rules are simple:

• I start a story
• The first person to reply with something unfortunate carries on the story
• The first person to reply to the unfortunate message with something fortunate carries on the story
• The first person to reply to the fortunate message with something unfortunate carries on the story, and so on.
• Post your addition in quotes and your commentary unquoted, just to make it easier to follow.
• All messages must begin with "Fortunately, " or "Unfortunately, "

It can be as absurd as you like, let's see if we can make it more absurd than reality.

Here's your prompt:
"Donald Trump wakes up one day and decides he wants to be president of the US."

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

"Unfortunately, this didn't result in millions literally dying and/or moving to Canada as they promised. Those wankers would stay and make life unbearable for years."

 

[Niggaplease]

fortunately America will be great again.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

"Unfortunately, history repeats itself."

 

[JambledUpWords]

Fortunately, everyone on Kiwifarms will be on estrogen to prevent getting kissed by Corona

 

[Bender]

fortunately America will be great again.

Fortunately, everyone on Kiwifarms will be on estrogen to prevent getting kissed by Corona

Post your addition in quotes and your commentary unquoted, just to make it easier to follow.

You had one fucking job and fucked it up two posts in, holy shit what is wrong with you?

 

[Officer Eradicate]

Unfortunately, this game has been ruined despite how simple it is

 

[Diabeetus]

Fortunately, this game was autistic anyway.

 

[RA-5C Vigilante]

Unfortunately, everyone who posted in this thread is now diagnosed with super-AIDS

 

[CockPockets]

Unfortunately for this thread I'm going to fuck it up again

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Untortionally the supreme court ruled the thread-start invalid.

 

[Bender]

Unfortunately, everyone who posted in this thread is now diagnosed with super-AIDS

"Fortunately, they deserved it."

 

[Book Thief]

"Unfortunately, Super AIDS is not lethal."

 

[JambledUpWords]

“Fortunately, if you drink Lysol, you don’t have a chance of dying of Super AIDS”

 

[snailslime]

"unfortunately, both will kill you and you will die"

 

[Book Thief]

"Fortunately, you will be resuscitated by an ambulance full of lolcows."

 

[JambledUpWords]

"Fortunately, you will be resuscitated by an ambulance full of lolcows."

“Unfortunately, the lolcow who gives you CPR will be Yaniv”

 

[snailslime]

"fortunately, all the lolcows will be clones of tuscangarder"

 

[JambledUpWords]

“Unfortunately, Tuscangarder is a troon”

 

[Diabeetus]

"Fortunately, I like girldick"