How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Not doing so hot. I've not mentioned this before I think but for approximately 2 years we've been combating an inconsistent and strange bed bug problem at home. I could write everyone a book about how shitty Terminix has been, but I'll spare the details.

I returned home after being gone for 3 weeks (I live elsewhere for college) to find evidence in my room, odd because I haven't this entire year and it has shown up when I've been gone. The only thing consistent about our problem is that most of the evidence has been concentrated to my room, but that itself makes no sense.

I don't fit the profile of someone most likely to bring them home. I have no friends who come over or whose homes I go to. I don't have a boyfriend. I've never had either. I don't travel. I only go to work and college (now 2 different colleges so it can't be c. college where I got them) and I'm very isolated in both places anyway. Especially NOW because most of my classes are online and like I said I live elsewhere 85% of the time.

So I'm spending hundreds and thousands of my own dollars (family cant afford it) I need for college and myself fighting a problem I can't find the origin of. It's not like I found out my BF has them and I can pinpoint the POI. It is also statistically unlikely we've gotten reinfested 4 times from 4 different origins. I've lost sleep over it. If I'm not bringing them in myself, why are they attracted to my clean, usually cold room? Why? Where? How? Why me?
You just need to irradiate your entire house with gamma rays.
 
I don't know if this is the right thread to talk about this, because it's a story from the past not the present but I didn't know where else to mention it.

In December of 1997 I was just a little boy, I lived in an apartment building and my grandmother and great grandmother had apartments downstairs from mine. Don Bluth's penultimate production Anastasia was playing in theaters and i begged my parents to take me to see it...they agreed but my grandmother also insisted she go too...I didn't know it then but she was dying of diabetic related conditions...she would pass away five months later shortly after my great grandmother who died of brain cancer.

It was a cold December night when the family got in the car a red 95 Toyota Camry and drove to cineplex in Edgewater NJ, despite her failing health my grandmother sat next to me as me watched the film Anastasia, loosely based on events that happened eighty years prior.

a few weeks later, before Christmas of 1997 my family threw a party. Held in an elk's lodge though I don't know who had the connections to rent one out....I don't remember much from that night...just that it was a cold December night with tables and chairs set up in an auditorium with food set out at the end near the stage, and family together talking and eating...with a big Christmas tree in one corner where the kids like myself brought their toys (because this was before smart phones and tablets and kids still played with toys and together) to play with under it, and my grand mother and great grand mother sitting in the comfy chairs...the comfy cushioned kind, not like the hard metal folding chairs everyone else had to use, closest to the tree watching the kids in the family play together.


we had a Christmas dinner as a family, I played around a giant tree as a carefree little boy with other children in the family, and my the oldest people in the family where still alive...though in failing health

Christmas 1997
 
Trying to figure out how to get my friend some underwear in his rehab center without having to look his panties drawer. I found undershirts and pajama pants easy enough, but it still feels weird to rummage through the personal drawers of the dresser. Any tips?
 
I am now almost 11 days without weed or caffeine and have had a good yesterday but about 45 minutes ago I had a panic attack come out of nowhere. I am no longer having sweats and in general I am on the mend but that panic attack means it is still working it's way out of my system. I was able to get over it in about 10-15 minutes with water some black pepper ground up in it.

I was an idiot to start doing weed, I have shitty impulse control. I think I have a few more days to a week before I have fully cleansed myself of it. If you partake please do so in moderation the side-effects I dealt with have been hell.
 
kinda tweaking because i'm on a medication that gives me insomnia as a side effect (i can fall asleep but not stay asleep)

so i've been falling asleep, waking up at like 3-4 AM and not falling back alseep for hours and then sleeping until the afternoon, which sucks ass but i can't do anything since the meds they gave me don't help

tbh at this rate i'd rather be dependent on a drug to sleep than keep waking up late as fuck and sleeping until 1PM

i don't see my doctor until January either so i'm just kinda fucked until then. oh well
 
The places I’ve applied to so far have sent me rejection emails. I even got an interview in with one, but no luck. Money’s really tight right now, and I’m stressing about being able to pay my bills in the next month. I feel bad I can’t do much for Christmas for my friends and all, but I literally can’t afford to.

What sucks more is all the talk about another stimulus check. I got screwed out of the last one because I was claimed as a dependent by my parents on their taxes despite being a young adult who files and pays my own taxes. I likely won’t see any of this next one either. I’m not trying to come off as greedy, but even $600 would be a godsend to me right now.

My depression has started to come around again, for that and a slew of other problems. It’s just a fog right now, but hopefully I can help it before it becomes worse.
 
Why did you decide to do this thing
My prints have been adhering way too much to the bed lately, for some reason I decided to scrape in the direction of my hands knowing full well how much force I was putting in to get the thing off the bed and before I knew it it'd gone full pelt under by fingernail
Also update but my finger is fine now I think it might've been water from when I washed my hands before bed
 
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I was in a pretty good mood this Christmas Eve Day, got some exercise in and found out I'm doing rather well.
And then I found out that google wouldn't let me get in my email accounts without giving up personal information because I was using a different device. Pissed me off. Then I found out some cock sucker was dumping trash in my trash bins. The little cancerous faggots eat Banquet meals. FREAKING BANQUET MEALS. That's some low tier garbage right there, right up with On-Cor trash. I had to dig as much of that filth out of my bin and couldn't reach like 65% of it. (What tasteless idiot eats that stuff?)
Good mood ruined, so I went out for a walk. In 12 degree weather. While there was a strong wind and a mild snow. While mad. Red eyes glowed red.
Ended up at a grocery store known for gouging their customers and managed to pick up four pounds of decent pepperoni slices on the cheap, some venom and happy Emperador cookies on the cheap.
...
I have snacky treats. I happy now.
So I counted... I have over nine pounds of pepperoni slices. That should last what, 2-3 pizzas? I no good at da math.
 
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had a crummy Christmas eve, had to get up for work early, had to cook all day, got yelled at to keep cooking even though surprisingly nobody not even the blacks was flocking to kfc on Christmas eve, they handed out presents and nobody got me anything, and to top it all off ive had a toothache/sensitivity that's STILL irritating me. I must have brushed and rinsed my teeth like three times over an hour since i got home.
 
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